Cooler Saturday But Good Saturday
May. 23rd, 2026 11:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crossover_chickThe weather was far from the greatest -- it never got very warm, and it stayed cloudy pretty much all day -- but, fortunately, as I didn't have to go anywhere, I didn't have to worry about any of that. Instead, I stayed in and managed to accomplish a fair bit for a Saturday for me:
Tumblr: Nothing of interest happened over on Valice Multiverse today, but I got a decent amount of stuff done on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler), despite a bit of a late start this morning –
A) First, I went back through my dash a big and straight-up reblogged a post from apolladay that I found on my dash, posting the question “Have you ever gone to an concert/movie alone*? * as in you spent the entire time alone and you didn't go there alone with plans to meet up with someone.” I voted “yes” because while I’ve never been to a concert full stop, I have been to the movies on my own plenty of times in the past! Hell, I’ve seen some of my favorite movies on solo trips, including Enchanted and Ghostbusters: Answer The Call (the 2016 reboot with the ladies). It was nice to be able to just go to a film and watch it without having to worry about anyone else. :) Granted, I haven’t done it since Covid, but… *shrug*
B) Then I spent the rest of the time before lunch working on my “Valicer Eats God” post:
I. Figuring out a proper “Trait Expression” for Alice’s Fluttering Flight trait (“I will be able to get there and you can't stop me,” referencing the fact that Alice’s flight is an important part of the platforming inherent in both her games)
II. And writing up proper descriptions of each of the trio’s chosen Rebellious Art, along with some notes about why I chose it (Victor has “The Art of Realization,” which allows him to interact with “artistic depictions” like they’re real things, which syncs well with his displayed art skills in Corpse Bride’s opening; Alice has “The Art of Transition,” which allows her to essentially teleport from one spot to another while unobserved, which I justified by pointing out her tendency to end up in random spots in London between Wonderland levels in Alice: Madness Returns; and Smiler has “The Art of Guising,” which allows them to pretend to be something like a “local farmer” or “cultist of the Red God” or such and be accepted as same so long as they act the part, which I felt matched my characterization of them as charming and able to talk people into stuff (plus, I noted that VITD Smiler has successfully passed themselves off as something they’re not twice in the series so far))
So it was nice to make some progress there!
Baldur’s Gate III: Spent just under an hour and a half in Faerûn today, looting the tollhouse and the corpses within of all useful goodies; having a nice post-paladin-kill chat with Karlach; waiting around for Astarion to do a cool knife trick so I could capture it for posterity; doing some inventory management; and finally ending the day and dealing with Wyll’s bitch-ass patron turning him partly devil. >( Allow me to expand in more detail (with the usual screenshots) below:
A) I picked up right where I left off last time, with Smiler and company hanging out in the upper levels of the tollhouse that Karlach had smashed and burned up shortly after they killed the party of false “Paladins of Tyr” after her. And now that she’d finally calmed down and stopped setting everyone and everything on fire when she wasn’t smashing it with her axe, it was time to loot whatever crates and boxes were left post-rampage! Along with, of course, those dead “paladins.” There wasn’t a lot of stuff to grab, admittedly (I suspect the devs didn’t put too many goodies in this area because of the aforementioned Karlach rampage), but Smiler still managed a decent haul – enough to nearly make them “encumbered,” in fact (which would have resulted in the game cutting down their movement and halving their jump distance). Let’s take it area by area (and corpse by corpse):
I. We started with the shelves behind Karlach on the far side of the tollhouse, which fortunately had been untouched by her rampage (she’d only run over to them when she’d finally cooled down) – Smiler grabbed a halberd out of a crate, some Scruffy Vagabond Clothes out of a sack, some padded light armor out of a trunk, a light crossbow out of a second crate, another set of padded armor out of a third crate, and a lovely long baguette off the table to the side (which Smiler climbed up on a crate to get, because apparently collecting it from in front of the table wasn’t an option). There was also some rotten cheese in a sack, but Smiler obviously left that – we don’t need rotten food!
II. From there, it was into the “hallway” portion of the room, with some shelves on one side and a few crates that had survived Karlach’s rampage (and a few more that didn’t) on the other – Smiler found four potatoes on the floor by the bookcase, then a whole bunch of cured meats in barrel next to it – a set of spicy sausage links, a salami, a pair of dried pork sausages, and a dried rope of sausages! They are gonna eat tonight, that’s for sure – in fact, I should probably go into the settings and adjust how many supplies the gang needs to take a long rest. The group is kind of swimming in food for the moment. There were also some Gladiatorial Sandals in a sack on the shelves for some reason – I mean, I can see the “paladins” needing spare shoes, but why put them in THERE?
As for the other side of the “hallway,” there was a big long pike lying across the surviving crates that Smiler grabbed to give to Dammon later, along with a light crossbow in a trunk. We also found more rotten food in another sack – some smashed and decaying chicken eggs. *grimace* No thanks.
III. All this brought them over to the bodies of the “refugee” (aka the “paladin” that Karlach managed to kill in the original skirmish) and Cyrel, the one who kept coming out on the balcony to check on things before. The refugee, annoyingly, had nothing more than a single apple on him, but Cyrel had some more interesting stuff – a Scroll of Mirror Image (which allows you to make illusory duplicates), a Scroll of Melf’s Acid Arrow (which allows you to shoot a magic arrow made of acid at people), three Scrolls of Revivify (which allow you to revive a fallen ally at 1 HP), a simple robe, and a dagger. Damn – probably a good thing that we took her out first, huh? Like, she wouldn’t have been that much of a problem, but she definitely would have made the fight harder if she’d used any of these!
IV. After looting the bodies (and playing around with the water pump behind Cyrel’s corpse, which, when clicked on, created a water surface beneath it – at least it washed away some of the blood!), Smiler looted the remaining containers in the area, tucked away in the corners and on the wall behind their dead foes. From the shabby wardrobe, they grabbed one apple; from the cupboard, they picked up a supply pack (which was laying on it rather than in it), a tin cup, and one gold piece; and from the wall shelf they acquired two bottles of Ithbank, a fancy Tethyrian wine (I inch closer to being able to complete a long rest with just booze XD). And yes, there was also some rotten food to be found – a rotten carrot in a sack. Come on, guys, why would you KEEP that? Throw it out for the wildlife!
B) Having cleared out the first room, it was into the second, which looked like it had once served as an office and had now become the resting place of Anders and Trynn. Interestingly, the first thing Smiler found in this room was a book on a table near the door – “Order of the Gauntlet: On Matters of Law and Justice.” Taking a look at the contents, they discovered that it was a treatise explaining what “good” was (seeking and enforcing peace, seeking and denouncing depravity, trusting in your god and yourself); what “law” was (the commandments of gods or mortals, the “call of authority” and “father of order,” and something that could be corrupted); how “good” did not equal “lawful” or vice-versa; and how the Order was committed to upholding, not goodness or the law, but justice: “I say to you, then, that we seek not to be good or to be lawful, but to be just. For what is it to be good, if we cannot define the acts that oppose it? What is to be lawful, if it is a devil's commands we obey? Justice is the hand that feeds the hungry, and the shield that guards the weak. It is the sword that fells the wicked, and the cloak that warms the indigent. It is for justice that the Order of the Gauntlet stands watch. And it is justice that Tyr and Torm, Helm and Hoar demand.” Interesting stuff! Did Anders and his cronies carry this around as part of their disguise? Or were they really part of this order before they fell and became Zariel’s little hit squad? I guess we’ll never know...
Anyway – after reading that, it was time to get back to the looting:
I. The cupboard tucked away behind the table had more booze in it – specifically, a bottle of Esmeltar Red (apparently a very inferior wine) and a bottle of Chultan Fireswill – we’ll hoard this for the tiefling party later (that seems like a good night to get roaring drunk for our long rest :P)
II. The desk, besides containing another copy of that outdated book on the Risen Road, had three gold pieces sitting on it beside an empty sack, along with a quill and an inkwell inside it – Smiler took the gold but left the quill and ink, as they already had some
III. Our boy Anders’s corpse had some interesting stuff on it – an ordinary longsword, his Sword of Justice (a +1 greatsword that allows the wielder to cast Tyr’s Protection as a bonus action, raising either their or an ally’s armor class by 2 while concentrating), some scale mail, and the Reliquary of the Devout! That last being a mysterious box that apparently occupies a “ring” slot when equipped and has the “Echoing Oath” effect, which has a 20% chance of allowing a paladin to use a Channel Oath charge without actually expending it. We don’t have any paladins in our party right now, but if I do save everyone’s favorite bitchy evil drow Minthara, she might be able to get some use out of it later, so we’ll keep it around. *nods*
IV. The burlap sacks behind him contained a set of rags (which I think are technically camp clothes) and a pair of casual sandals – Smiler left the former but took the latter. Never know when you might need some good sandals! (Or when you can sell them for a bit of extra gold.)
V. A barrel near the bunk beds on the far side of the room (which I hadn’t actually noticed before during the fight – there’s two tucked away in the corner by the ladder up to the balcony level, and another two along the wall in the opposite corner by the fireplace; guess we know where these guys were sleeping now) yielded a bottle of water, while the crate next to it had an interesting book atop it: “Findings from the Hinterlands - New Edition!” Which had a warning in it from the editor-in-chief, Mingus Etcherly (...I thought “Wulfbren Bongle” was the worst name a character in this game had; guess I was wrong) –
About the Cult of the Absolute! Apparently the publication’s agents in Elturgard had sent word of the cult’s spread, and while Etcherly admitted, the cult could fade away like any other, “reports of alliances between goblin and Lolth-sworn drow, troll and duergar, are a particular cause for alarm.” ...which, okay, I know those guys are generally bad news, but it does feel a liiiittle racist. Anyway, apparently Etcherly was so concerned by these reports that they sent ahead messengers to the important cities – Baldur’s Gate, Scornuble, and Candlekeep, among others – to make sure the word got spread far and wide and people took this warning seriously. Good to see that we’re not the only ones worried about this cult! (Even if, as it turns out, we’ll be the only ones who can do anything about it…)
VI. Up the ladder to the balcony brought Smiler to Trynn’s corpse, which also had some lovely goodies on it – in addition to some leather armor, a dagger, and a shortbow, she also had the Boots Of The Swift Stalker! A pair of boots made from cheetah skin that granted the wearer +5ft to movement and gave them the ability to use Dash as a bonus action! VERY nice indeed – though, hilariously, they didn’t give as much movement as Smiler’s Marsh Strider boots (which give +10ft...and a bonus to jump distance, thus explaining why Smiler can make jumps the Weak Men can’t). But then again, if you have Dash as a bonus action, you don’t need that extra movement, do you?
VII. By Trynn’s corpse was a cupboard (with another copy of the book about Yeenoghu, the Lord of Madness responsible for gnolls, atop it) containing two gold pieces, along with a wicker basket containing a pear, om nom~ Meanwhile, a little farther down the balcony were a pair of crates – one containing a shortbow, and the other containing a glaive (it’s a spear-like weapon with a longer, more curved blade). More weapons for Dammon!
VIII. And past the crates was quite a nice little rooftop patio area, complete with a picnic table and a ladder downstairs:
Wouldn’t that be a lovely place to eat lunch on sunny days? There wasn’t much to loot there, however, except for one book tucked away behind a barrel, called “A Pleasurable Deal.” The in-game fluff text revealed that this was an excerpt from a play that had banned in four cities for being lewd – and then presented the very beginning of the play, where a tiefling named Robert, weeping over his wife leaving him for another man, is approached by a cambion named Carlisle to make a deal to win her back…
By giving him a big dick. No, seriously, he comments on Robert lacking a “mighty horn and mast\With which to guide a maid to bed and fast.” XD Oh dear...Smiler quietly slipped that into their book backpack for later!
C) Having looted as much of the tollhouse as they could currently reach, I decided that it was about time that Smiler and company headed back to camp and had a rest! I thus sent everyone back to the Wilderness Camp, and prepared to have a chat with Karlach now that was probably more ready to talk about her life and how she came to be a part of the Blood War –
Only to spot, as I was loading in, Astarion doing a cool knife trick where he flipped a dagger a rather impressive distance into the air. And then repeating the trick when I was writing it down in my notes and not paying attention. Deciding I wanted to get a picture of the trick, I had Smiler go over and stand in front of his tent, waiting for him to perform the idle animation again –
And cue Astarion doing pretty much every other idle animation he had, including standing around looking arrogant and reading a book. >( I eventually got tired of waiting for him to actually do the thing and sent Smiler over to chat with Karlach, as per my original intention – she greeted them with a friendly “Soldier,” and Smiler asked her “Now that those ‘paladins’ are out of your way, what’s next on your agenda?” Karlach declared that “First things first, I need to get this engine tuned up. Thing’s powerful, but it’s been feeling volatile ever since I left the Hells,” before hopefully adding, “Can’t be too hard to find an infernal mechanic around here, right?” Not at all, Karlach – Dammon’s right in the grove, and he’ll be happy to look at you. :) However, this did prompt Smiler to ask how she ended up with the engine in her chest in the first place –
Causing Karlach to launch into the story with a suitably dramatic, “The year? Ten ere. The place? A sleepy little town called Baldur’s Gate. Our hero? Karlach, a knock-kneed delinquent from the Outer City with everything to give and nothing to lose.” Yeah, this sort of thing is why she’s going to be one of Smiler’s romance options. XD Anyway, she explained that she’d been “a kid looking for a way to fill my days and make some cash when I fell into the wrong crowd. Worked for a guy I respected. A lot. Turns out the feeling wasn’t mutual.”
As it turned out, her boss had made a deal with Zariel, Archdevil of Avernus, which included handing Karlach over to her to have the infernal engine put into her chest. Zariel then sent Karlach out to war, and “I learned quick how to stay alive. And the engine served me when it came to killing devils. Ten years of that. The stories I could tell.” Smiler encouraged her to tell them, both curious to know what she’d seen and thinking it couldn’t hurt to get her to unburden herself a bit –
Only for Karlach to go, “I’ll mete out the best ones, bit by bit, so you always have a reason to keep me around. Clever, right?” Smiler accepted that as “I’d rather not talk about it right now” and instead asked who the asshole boss was who gave her up to Zariel in the first place. Karlach bitterly informed them that the man’s name was Gortash – “Politician. Inventor. One of these wheeler-dealer types who seems to have a finger in every pie.” She then sadly added that “I guess I was naive to think everything he got up to was above board. What did I know? I saw a job – a good job – with people I liked doing work I was good at. Sometimes I’m jealous of that girl. Ugh, to feel so invincible again.” :( Damn, you really just want to give her a hug, don’t you? Too bad that you can’t until her stupid engine gets upgraded enough!
Speaking of which, Smiler inquired what exactly the infernal engine did to her – Karlack informed them, “Gives me energy. Power. But you’ve seen it in action – very hard to control. If I’m excited at all – angry, nervous, delighted, enticed...I burn hot. Hot enough to burn anyone who gets close.” Smiler, thinking that was a terrible way to live, noted she must be, er, “pent up,” and she pulled a face and admitted, “I try not to think about it. I still think about it constantly, but, you know, I try.” She attempted some optimism after this, declaring, “One of these days I’ll sort the whole infernal affair out, get myself cooled off, and start making up for lost time,” before ending on a slightly sad “But! Not today.” *nods* Not today, Karlach – gotta wait until Act 2. :p This brought the conversation to a close, and I had Smiler go over to Astarion again for one more try at getting the knife flip –
And, finally, Astarion did the damn trick! Please be amazed:
I mean, I think that’s pretty impressive height for a dagger!
D) Having had my chat with Karlach, and finally recorded Astarion’s knife trick for posterity, it was time for everyone’s favorite activity – inventory management! Because if Smiler didn’t get some of the heavy shit they’d picked up out of their hyperspace pocket, they were going to suffer the consequences. XD Fortunately, it was pretty easy to get everything sorted:
I. The Sword of Justice went to Lae’zel to be equipped as her new primary weapon – girl deserves a +1 greatsword to swing around
II. The Boots Of The Swift Stalker went to Karlach – I thought about giving them to Lae’zel, then figured she’d probably want to keep her githyanki gear and that Karlach – who is a barbarian and thus someone who will be rushing at enemies a lot – would benefit more from them
III. The Scale Mail went to Shadowheart, as it was a medium armor with 14 AC, while her Sharran armor only had 13 – might as well make her a little bit harder to hit!
IV. And the rest of the weapons, armors, and clothing that Smiler had picked up, apart from the Reliquary of the Devout, went to Karlach – because she is the strong one and thus should be carrying around all this heavy shit. XD
I also, of course, took a moment to dye Karlach’s new boots and Shadowheart’s new armor the correct colors to match the rest of their outfits:
I think the ladies look pretty good, honestly. :) It’s nice having dyes custom-made for each character, honestly! Thank you, “FaerunColors” mod! :)
E) And with that, it was time to officially end the day! After the usual “sure you want to do this?” pop-up, the sun set and everyone got in their “nighttime” clothes –
And a cutscene started, with Wyll, Smiler, and Karlach walking around the edge of the campfire, only to see a mysterious portal start to open up in front of them. Smiler didn’t know what was going on, but Wyll sure did, commenting, “Hell’s fires. She’s coming.” –
And shortly thereafter, out of the ground popped everyone’s least-favorite cambion, Bitch Tits herself, Mizora! She greeted Wyll with a cruel and sultry, “Wyll. You’ve been naughty. And you know what happens when you’re naughty,” while Karlach, hanging behind Wyll, complained, “Gods damn it. Anyone but her.” Smiler, realizing what was going on, chose the diplomatic route (and the [WARLOCK] dialogue option), commenting, “That’s a nice set of wings. Let me guess: Wyll’s patron?” –
Causing Mizora to coolly reply, “Handler’s the word, if it’s all the same.” It is NOT, Bitch Tits – though now I am imagining 47 and Diana from Hitman going up against her, which does amuse me. :p Anyway, she continued with, “My pup here’s been unruly – and his leash needs a yank,” magically pulling Wyll closer to her by the neck and choking him. >( She then reminded him, “We had a deal, Wyll. But Karlach’s still breathing” –
Prompting Karlach to butt in with “I’ve taken more pleasant shits than you, Mizora, and at least those can be buried after.” Hah. >D Mizora, sadly, wasn’t phased, scolding Karlach with “That’s no kind of talk for a lady” before adding that Zariel sends her regards. *grrr* Wyll snapped through his invisible leash that Mizora had told him “devils only” and pointed out that Karlach was a tiefling, not a monster –
Prompting Mizora to go “How precious. The little pupster’s found his bark.” >( She then quoted Clause G, Section Nine of her and Wyll’s pact: “Targets shall be limited to the infernal, the demonic, the heartless, and the soulless” –
Before coolly pointing out “Karlach meets the criteria by virtue of having no heart.” Smiler, already done with this woman, warned her “You’d better not lay a damned finger on Karlach” to the approval of most of the group – Mizora, with a tinge of disappointment, told them not to worry, “that ship has long sailed the Styx.” She then added that “But a defiant pup must still pay his price” –
And summoned a burst of hellfire that surrounded Wyll, burning him with the full might of Avernus and shoving his soul through all the layers of the Hells, “gaining their essence – and their torment:”
...okay, maybe his expression in this particular screenshot isn’t selling the agony, but still. And then, after a bit more torture, Wyll’s skin turned temporarily as black as pitch – and he emerged from the flames changed:
Yes, those are horns now protruding from his head! Wyll demanded to know what she’d done as he returned to – well, not NORMAL, but to looking properly humanoid, at least – Mizora just replied “A promise broken, a price paid. You know the terms,” before adding, “Get used to the new form, pet – there’s no going back. Some magic, even I can’t undo.” *hisses at her* She then mocked him with “Let’s see how the Frontiers fare without their precious Blade,” before asking Karlach to keep an eye on him –
And informing a startled Smiler that she’d be keeping an eye on them. Oh dear. Fortunately, she took her leave right after, informing Wyll before she left that their pact still stood. *growls* God, I hate that woman. You just want to punch her in the face.
F) With Mizora gone, Smiler felt it pretty important to check in with Wyll and Karlach – starting with Wyll first, because, well, he’s the one who got transformed into a devilish shape (he’s not REALLY a devil – his character sheet still lists him as a human – but he’s got some devil features now, like the horns and a glowing red eye). Wyll was drowning his sorrows via idle animation when Smiler arrived at his tent, and greeted them with a “Gods damn her straight back to the Hells. Just look at me. I did what was right. And Mizora made me pay for it.” He added in a rant that she’d told him he’d be hunting the worst of the worst – devils, demons, traitors, hypocrites – “heartless evils of all sorts” – before continuing sorrowfully, “but not...not Zariel’s victims, not innocent tieflings.” Smiler, sympathetic, took the [WARLOCK] option and again and noted that Wyll was lucky Mizora didn’t straight-up take his soul when she came – Wyll replied, “I’d count my lucky stars for it – but I reckon is on holiday. I’m only alive because my patron still has use for me.” He then admitted – probably because we’d already figured it out – that Mizora was indeed his patron, and granted him the ability to “conjure armor and cast eldritch blasts” (suggesting to me that I chose the wrong invocation for him before – should have gone with “Armour of Shadows!”), adding that “before I was infected, I could even call hellbeasts and summon festering clouds.” (*takes notes for later*) He quickly promised Smiler that “every thrust of my blade and every flame I sparked was for the good of the Coast,” though. Smiler was willing to believe that, as they’d seen what a good man Wyll was already –
Which meant they had to ask, “How in the Hells did you get involved with Mizora?” She did not seem like the kind of patron Wyll would want to hang around with! This actually got a bit of Wyll approval, even as he revealed that was “the one little question that put me out of house and home” and that he was unable to “utter the terms or circumstances of the pact. I can tell you most all else – but the pact? I’m forbidden, unless Mizora permits it.” Because she’s Bitch Tits and she likes tormenting Wyll that way. >( He then added, “But I’ll say this: the moment I pacted myself to Mizora I have not regretted for a heartbeat. It was my proudest deed. It was worth the sacrifice. All I can give you on that is my solemn word.” Awwwww – Smiler believes you, Wyll! They know what kind of guy you are! And they’re gonna do their best to get you out of this hellish deal. (While simultaneously being very grateful that their own patron is SO MUCH NICER. Seriously, they LUCKED OUT with Mar-Mal.)
G) With Wyll literally unable to talk to them more, Smiler then made their way over to Karlach, who they caught lying down for a look at the stars above her tent:
Cute, though the effect was slightly ruined when I moused over her and noticed her tail clipping through the ground. XD Anyway, Smiler went to ask how she was, and she informed them, “I’ll be honest, soldier – I’m reeling. Wyll hardly knows me, but he chose my life over his. Been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that.” Smiler agreed that “He’s a good man. Maybe the best of us,” and Karlach replied, “You can say that again. When he was chasing me through Avernus I thought he was just another sad merc. How wrong I was.” Indeed – instead, he is like your instant ride-or-die bestie. Seriously, I so feel that, even in the vanilla game, Karlach and Wyll should be fine with you romancing the other because they are SO sympatico SO fast. They were made to be part of a polycule together.
H) And with that, I found myself on the horns of a mild dilemma – namely, did I actually FINISH the long rest by giving everyone supper and sending them to bed, and see what might pop up as a result, or did I stop my session with Wyll’s transformation, given I’d already gone a little over my allotted hour of playtime? After thinking about it, I decided “I don’t know what’s going to come up next – could be nothing, could be Astarion’s fun little ‘bite night’ event, could be something else – and I don’t want to spend all night summing up what I did in my game, so let’s call it here and finish the long rest next time.” So, instead, I ended the session by having Smiler destress with a little alchemy! They’d certainly gathered enough ingredients during their earlier adventures after all. :) They thus proceeded to:
I. Turn their belladonna and wispweed into sublimates (unlocking the recipe for the “Potion of Glorious Vaulting,” which triples Jump distance for ten turns, in the process)
II. Turn their mugwort and rogue’s morsel mushrooms into two batches of salts each (as they had so much of both)
III. Turn their mergrass into a suspension
IV. Make a Potion of Glorious Vaulting for the funsies – sadly, they critically failed the Medicine check to make a second one
V. And make a Potion of Mind Reading so they’d have another one handy for probing into people’s thoughts – and happily, this one they succeeded the Medicine check and thus got two! Nice! :)
And yeah, that is where I left it! Next time, everyone has dinner and goes to bed, and we see if anything interesting happens overnight! And if not, we’ll go back to the tollhouse and continue looting, as there was a hatch in the room Anders was in that the gang hasn’t investigated yet, and the wiki indicates there’s yet more goodies to be had if you can get into the secret treasure room in the lower levels of the house...
YouTube: Twas another week without a CaFae Latte compilation (Chris must either be busy or is letting the shorts pile up until she has enough for a proper season) – fortunately, I had two other things to watch instead this evening –
A) “7 Worst James Bond Games of All Time” by OXBox! Featuring Jane and Mike (again – I am starting to wonder where the heck Andy is) going through the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to James Bond games, presumably in honor of the new one by Hitman developer IO coming out soon! The entries ranged from 007 Racing (a terrible 2000 racing game featuring a sequence where James Bond gets put in his own Speed scenario in a rental car and John Cleese as Q whining about you scratching the paint job – Jane insisted that was what the premium insurance was for) to Live And Let Die (a terrible 1988 speedboat shooter that Mike declared of important historical value as one of the very first cheap cash-in games, as it was clearly a regular speedboat game the developer just slapped the 007 label on), to GoldenEye: Rogue Agent (a terrible 2004 first-person shooter where you didn’t even play as James Bond – you instead were a disgraced MI6 agent with a golden cybernetic eye working for Goldfinger – and yes, Mike at least believes EA put “GoldenEye” in the title to lure in people with fond memories of the N64 game) –
But, in an interesting twist, both the “best of the worst” and “worst of the worst” entries were fairly similar – James Bond games published by Activision and starting the Daniel Craig version of Bond that really wanted to be Call Of Duty games instead of spy games. The difference was, the “best of the worst,” 007: Quantum of Solace, was made by the people behind the Call Of Duty franchise and actually featured (an admittedly disinterested) Daniel Craig and thus was mostly merely forgettable; the “worst of the worst,” 007 Legends, was made by people who’d never made anything like a COD game and featured a Daniel Craig impersonator constantly fucking up the iconic “Bond. James Bond” catchphrase and thus had pretty much no redeeming features. Don’t even get them started on the driving sections… Bottom line, avoid these games like the plague and instead see if you can emulate the classic GoldenEye 007 for the N64 while you wait for IO’s entry, 007 First Light.
B) And “Paralives: 23 FEATURES YOU NEED TO KNOW! (Early Access)” by onlyabidoang! Who, sadly, was suffering from chicken pox at the time of recording (poor guy’s face was COVERED in spots), but still willing to give us the skinny on a bunch of the features coming in the Early Access release of Paralives with the help of the Para versions of some of his classic Sim characters (including his own self-Para and Dammit Emily)! Some notable ones included:
I. The fact that Paras can be different heights, and actually have a really big range of heights, with the smallest adult Paras being about 4’9” and the tallest being about 6’4”. And interactions between Paras of different heights are actually pretty damn smooth – like, not all of them are perfect, but Abi was able to get a Tall and a Small to socialize, slow dance, and kiss effectively. Object interactions are pretty good too, though, again, some stuff needs tweaking.
II. The fact that, not only can you stretch and squash lots of objects and have them remain functional (like stretching a couch out to seat dozens of Paras, or squashing a window to let in less light), but you can also enable an advanced mode to let you raise objects up, twist them around, and morph them in more extreme ways – though this mode WILL most likely make functional objects non-functional as you twist them out of a usable shape. Still fascinating, though!
III. The fact that certain jobs will let you choose your hours, and others will even let you choose which days you work, which is very cool – depending on which job you choose for your Para, that offers a lot of flexibility!
IV. The fact that there’s a newspaper (the New Paper) that will alert you to any events happening in the town (which can include astronomy club meet-ups, outdoor film screenings, yoga classes, and a weekly Sunday marketplace), provide random snippets of news, hint at activities you can try or stuff you can find, and even occasionally give you free money in the form of “coupons.” Who doesn’t love a coupon?
V. And the fact that, not only is there a “preteen” life stage, but children, preteens, and teens will all have little “growth spurts” every couple of days as they age, so you can see them getting bigger and older in real time! Making aging feel a lot more gradual and realistic.
Plus tons of other neat stuff! Yes, the video also showed off how this is very much an Early Access title (there were various bugs like sheets glitching out as a Para got into bed and Paras clipping into the ground), but damn it, I am genuinely looking forward to grabbing this and sinking my metaphorical teeth into it. Especially the Paramaker because – as I’ve said before, to Gigs at least – the fact that Paras can be different heights means I can finally have a version of my Valicer OT3 where everyone is at the correct height! Though, of course, we’ll have to see if I can even make them first – dunno if any of the starting hairstyles or such will actually be right...
*nods* Nice. ...though I have stayed up way later than I intended thanks to getting distracted by TV Tropes. ^^; So it's off to bed for me! Tomorrow is Fallout Sunday -- plans include continuing to work on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts; play a bit of Fallout: New Vegas and see if Victor can save Deputy Beagle; and watch the next episode of "The Worst Wanderer" by Jon (hopefully with my workout, but we'll see when he uploads). Hopefully all achievable goals! Night all!
Tumblr: Nothing of interest happened over on Valice Multiverse today, but I got a decent amount of stuff done on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler), despite a bit of a late start this morning –
A) First, I went back through my dash a big and straight-up reblogged a post from apolladay that I found on my dash, posting the question “Have you ever gone to an concert/movie alone*? * as in you spent the entire time alone and you didn't go there alone with plans to meet up with someone.” I voted “yes” because while I’ve never been to a concert full stop, I have been to the movies on my own plenty of times in the past! Hell, I’ve seen some of my favorite movies on solo trips, including Enchanted and Ghostbusters: Answer The Call (the 2016 reboot with the ladies). It was nice to be able to just go to a film and watch it without having to worry about anyone else. :) Granted, I haven’t done it since Covid, but… *shrug*
B) Then I spent the rest of the time before lunch working on my “Valicer Eats God” post:
I. Figuring out a proper “Trait Expression” for Alice’s Fluttering Flight trait (“I will be able to get there and you can't stop me,” referencing the fact that Alice’s flight is an important part of the platforming inherent in both her games)
II. And writing up proper descriptions of each of the trio’s chosen Rebellious Art, along with some notes about why I chose it (Victor has “The Art of Realization,” which allows him to interact with “artistic depictions” like they’re real things, which syncs well with his displayed art skills in Corpse Bride’s opening; Alice has “The Art of Transition,” which allows her to essentially teleport from one spot to another while unobserved, which I justified by pointing out her tendency to end up in random spots in London between Wonderland levels in Alice: Madness Returns; and Smiler has “The Art of Guising,” which allows them to pretend to be something like a “local farmer” or “cultist of the Red God” or such and be accepted as same so long as they act the part, which I felt matched my characterization of them as charming and able to talk people into stuff (plus, I noted that VITD Smiler has successfully passed themselves off as something they’re not twice in the series so far))
So it was nice to make some progress there!
Baldur’s Gate III: Spent just under an hour and a half in Faerûn today, looting the tollhouse and the corpses within of all useful goodies; having a nice post-paladin-kill chat with Karlach; waiting around for Astarion to do a cool knife trick so I could capture it for posterity; doing some inventory management; and finally ending the day and dealing with Wyll’s bitch-ass patron turning him partly devil. >( Allow me to expand in more detail (with the usual screenshots) below:
A) I picked up right where I left off last time, with Smiler and company hanging out in the upper levels of the tollhouse that Karlach had smashed and burned up shortly after they killed the party of false “Paladins of Tyr” after her. And now that she’d finally calmed down and stopped setting everyone and everything on fire when she wasn’t smashing it with her axe, it was time to loot whatever crates and boxes were left post-rampage! Along with, of course, those dead “paladins.” There wasn’t a lot of stuff to grab, admittedly (I suspect the devs didn’t put too many goodies in this area because of the aforementioned Karlach rampage), but Smiler still managed a decent haul – enough to nearly make them “encumbered,” in fact (which would have resulted in the game cutting down their movement and halving their jump distance). Let’s take it area by area (and corpse by corpse):
I. We started with the shelves behind Karlach on the far side of the tollhouse, which fortunately had been untouched by her rampage (she’d only run over to them when she’d finally cooled down) – Smiler grabbed a halberd out of a crate, some Scruffy Vagabond Clothes out of a sack, some padded light armor out of a trunk, a light crossbow out of a second crate, another set of padded armor out of a third crate, and a lovely long baguette off the table to the side (which Smiler climbed up on a crate to get, because apparently collecting it from in front of the table wasn’t an option). There was also some rotten cheese in a sack, but Smiler obviously left that – we don’t need rotten food!
II. From there, it was into the “hallway” portion of the room, with some shelves on one side and a few crates that had survived Karlach’s rampage (and a few more that didn’t) on the other – Smiler found four potatoes on the floor by the bookcase, then a whole bunch of cured meats in barrel next to it – a set of spicy sausage links, a salami, a pair of dried pork sausages, and a dried rope of sausages! They are gonna eat tonight, that’s for sure – in fact, I should probably go into the settings and adjust how many supplies the gang needs to take a long rest. The group is kind of swimming in food for the moment. There were also some Gladiatorial Sandals in a sack on the shelves for some reason – I mean, I can see the “paladins” needing spare shoes, but why put them in THERE?
As for the other side of the “hallway,” there was a big long pike lying across the surviving crates that Smiler grabbed to give to Dammon later, along with a light crossbow in a trunk. We also found more rotten food in another sack – some smashed and decaying chicken eggs. *grimace* No thanks.
III. All this brought them over to the bodies of the “refugee” (aka the “paladin” that Karlach managed to kill in the original skirmish) and Cyrel, the one who kept coming out on the balcony to check on things before. The refugee, annoyingly, had nothing more than a single apple on him, but Cyrel had some more interesting stuff – a Scroll of Mirror Image (which allows you to make illusory duplicates), a Scroll of Melf’s Acid Arrow (which allows you to shoot a magic arrow made of acid at people), three Scrolls of Revivify (which allow you to revive a fallen ally at 1 HP), a simple robe, and a dagger. Damn – probably a good thing that we took her out first, huh? Like, she wouldn’t have been that much of a problem, but she definitely would have made the fight harder if she’d used any of these!
IV. After looting the bodies (and playing around with the water pump behind Cyrel’s corpse, which, when clicked on, created a water surface beneath it – at least it washed away some of the blood!), Smiler looted the remaining containers in the area, tucked away in the corners and on the wall behind their dead foes. From the shabby wardrobe, they grabbed one apple; from the cupboard, they picked up a supply pack (which was laying on it rather than in it), a tin cup, and one gold piece; and from the wall shelf they acquired two bottles of Ithbank, a fancy Tethyrian wine (I inch closer to being able to complete a long rest with just booze XD). And yes, there was also some rotten food to be found – a rotten carrot in a sack. Come on, guys, why would you KEEP that? Throw it out for the wildlife!
B) Having cleared out the first room, it was into the second, which looked like it had once served as an office and had now become the resting place of Anders and Trynn. Interestingly, the first thing Smiler found in this room was a book on a table near the door – “Order of the Gauntlet: On Matters of Law and Justice.” Taking a look at the contents, they discovered that it was a treatise explaining what “good” was (seeking and enforcing peace, seeking and denouncing depravity, trusting in your god and yourself); what “law” was (the commandments of gods or mortals, the “call of authority” and “father of order,” and something that could be corrupted); how “good” did not equal “lawful” or vice-versa; and how the Order was committed to upholding, not goodness or the law, but justice: “I say to you, then, that we seek not to be good or to be lawful, but to be just. For what is it to be good, if we cannot define the acts that oppose it? What is to be lawful, if it is a devil's commands we obey? Justice is the hand that feeds the hungry, and the shield that guards the weak. It is the sword that fells the wicked, and the cloak that warms the indigent. It is for justice that the Order of the Gauntlet stands watch. And it is justice that Tyr and Torm, Helm and Hoar demand.” Interesting stuff! Did Anders and his cronies carry this around as part of their disguise? Or were they really part of this order before they fell and became Zariel’s little hit squad? I guess we’ll never know...
Anyway – after reading that, it was time to get back to the looting:
I. The cupboard tucked away behind the table had more booze in it – specifically, a bottle of Esmeltar Red (apparently a very inferior wine) and a bottle of Chultan Fireswill – we’ll hoard this for the tiefling party later (that seems like a good night to get roaring drunk for our long rest :P)
II. The desk, besides containing another copy of that outdated book on the Risen Road, had three gold pieces sitting on it beside an empty sack, along with a quill and an inkwell inside it – Smiler took the gold but left the quill and ink, as they already had some
III. Our boy Anders’s corpse had some interesting stuff on it – an ordinary longsword, his Sword of Justice (a +1 greatsword that allows the wielder to cast Tyr’s Protection as a bonus action, raising either their or an ally’s armor class by 2 while concentrating), some scale mail, and the Reliquary of the Devout! That last being a mysterious box that apparently occupies a “ring” slot when equipped and has the “Echoing Oath” effect, which has a 20% chance of allowing a paladin to use a Channel Oath charge without actually expending it. We don’t have any paladins in our party right now, but if I do save everyone’s favorite bitchy evil drow Minthara, she might be able to get some use out of it later, so we’ll keep it around. *nods*
IV. The burlap sacks behind him contained a set of rags (which I think are technically camp clothes) and a pair of casual sandals – Smiler left the former but took the latter. Never know when you might need some good sandals! (Or when you can sell them for a bit of extra gold.)
V. A barrel near the bunk beds on the far side of the room (which I hadn’t actually noticed before during the fight – there’s two tucked away in the corner by the ladder up to the balcony level, and another two along the wall in the opposite corner by the fireplace; guess we know where these guys were sleeping now) yielded a bottle of water, while the crate next to it had an interesting book atop it: “Findings from the Hinterlands - New Edition!” Which had a warning in it from the editor-in-chief, Mingus Etcherly (...I thought “Wulfbren Bongle” was the worst name a character in this game had; guess I was wrong) –
About the Cult of the Absolute! Apparently the publication’s agents in Elturgard had sent word of the cult’s spread, and while Etcherly admitted, the cult could fade away like any other, “reports of alliances between goblin and Lolth-sworn drow, troll and duergar, are a particular cause for alarm.” ...which, okay, I know those guys are generally bad news, but it does feel a liiiittle racist. Anyway, apparently Etcherly was so concerned by these reports that they sent ahead messengers to the important cities – Baldur’s Gate, Scornuble, and Candlekeep, among others – to make sure the word got spread far and wide and people took this warning seriously. Good to see that we’re not the only ones worried about this cult! (Even if, as it turns out, we’ll be the only ones who can do anything about it…)
VI. Up the ladder to the balcony brought Smiler to Trynn’s corpse, which also had some lovely goodies on it – in addition to some leather armor, a dagger, and a shortbow, she also had the Boots Of The Swift Stalker! A pair of boots made from cheetah skin that granted the wearer +5ft to movement and gave them the ability to use Dash as a bonus action! VERY nice indeed – though, hilariously, they didn’t give as much movement as Smiler’s Marsh Strider boots (which give +10ft...and a bonus to jump distance, thus explaining why Smiler can make jumps the Weak Men can’t). But then again, if you have Dash as a bonus action, you don’t need that extra movement, do you?
VII. By Trynn’s corpse was a cupboard (with another copy of the book about Yeenoghu, the Lord of Madness responsible for gnolls, atop it) containing two gold pieces, along with a wicker basket containing a pear, om nom~ Meanwhile, a little farther down the balcony were a pair of crates – one containing a shortbow, and the other containing a glaive (it’s a spear-like weapon with a longer, more curved blade). More weapons for Dammon!
VIII. And past the crates was quite a nice little rooftop patio area, complete with a picnic table and a ladder downstairs:
Wouldn’t that be a lovely place to eat lunch on sunny days? There wasn’t much to loot there, however, except for one book tucked away behind a barrel, called “A Pleasurable Deal.” The in-game fluff text revealed that this was an excerpt from a play that had banned in four cities for being lewd – and then presented the very beginning of the play, where a tiefling named Robert, weeping over his wife leaving him for another man, is approached by a cambion named Carlisle to make a deal to win her back…
By giving him a big dick. No, seriously, he comments on Robert lacking a “mighty horn and mast\With which to guide a maid to bed and fast.” XD Oh dear...Smiler quietly slipped that into their book backpack for later!
C) Having looted as much of the tollhouse as they could currently reach, I decided that it was about time that Smiler and company headed back to camp and had a rest! I thus sent everyone back to the Wilderness Camp, and prepared to have a chat with Karlach now that was probably more ready to talk about her life and how she came to be a part of the Blood War –
Only to spot, as I was loading in, Astarion doing a cool knife trick where he flipped a dagger a rather impressive distance into the air. And then repeating the trick when I was writing it down in my notes and not paying attention. Deciding I wanted to get a picture of the trick, I had Smiler go over and stand in front of his tent, waiting for him to perform the idle animation again –
And cue Astarion doing pretty much every other idle animation he had, including standing around looking arrogant and reading a book. >( I eventually got tired of waiting for him to actually do the thing and sent Smiler over to chat with Karlach, as per my original intention – she greeted them with a friendly “Soldier,” and Smiler asked her “Now that those ‘paladins’ are out of your way, what’s next on your agenda?” Karlach declared that “First things first, I need to get this engine tuned up. Thing’s powerful, but it’s been feeling volatile ever since I left the Hells,” before hopefully adding, “Can’t be too hard to find an infernal mechanic around here, right?” Not at all, Karlach – Dammon’s right in the grove, and he’ll be happy to look at you. :) However, this did prompt Smiler to ask how she ended up with the engine in her chest in the first place –
Causing Karlach to launch into the story with a suitably dramatic, “The year? Ten ere. The place? A sleepy little town called Baldur’s Gate. Our hero? Karlach, a knock-kneed delinquent from the Outer City with everything to give and nothing to lose.” Yeah, this sort of thing is why she’s going to be one of Smiler’s romance options. XD Anyway, she explained that she’d been “a kid looking for a way to fill my days and make some cash when I fell into the wrong crowd. Worked for a guy I respected. A lot. Turns out the feeling wasn’t mutual.”
As it turned out, her boss had made a deal with Zariel, Archdevil of Avernus, which included handing Karlach over to her to have the infernal engine put into her chest. Zariel then sent Karlach out to war, and “I learned quick how to stay alive. And the engine served me when it came to killing devils. Ten years of that. The stories I could tell.” Smiler encouraged her to tell them, both curious to know what she’d seen and thinking it couldn’t hurt to get her to unburden herself a bit –
Only for Karlach to go, “I’ll mete out the best ones, bit by bit, so you always have a reason to keep me around. Clever, right?” Smiler accepted that as “I’d rather not talk about it right now” and instead asked who the asshole boss was who gave her up to Zariel in the first place. Karlach bitterly informed them that the man’s name was Gortash – “Politician. Inventor. One of these wheeler-dealer types who seems to have a finger in every pie.” She then sadly added that “I guess I was naive to think everything he got up to was above board. What did I know? I saw a job – a good job – with people I liked doing work I was good at. Sometimes I’m jealous of that girl. Ugh, to feel so invincible again.” :( Damn, you really just want to give her a hug, don’t you? Too bad that you can’t until her stupid engine gets upgraded enough!
Speaking of which, Smiler inquired what exactly the infernal engine did to her – Karlack informed them, “Gives me energy. Power. But you’ve seen it in action – very hard to control. If I’m excited at all – angry, nervous, delighted, enticed...I burn hot. Hot enough to burn anyone who gets close.” Smiler, thinking that was a terrible way to live, noted she must be, er, “pent up,” and she pulled a face and admitted, “I try not to think about it. I still think about it constantly, but, you know, I try.” She attempted some optimism after this, declaring, “One of these days I’ll sort the whole infernal affair out, get myself cooled off, and start making up for lost time,” before ending on a slightly sad “But! Not today.” *nods* Not today, Karlach – gotta wait until Act 2. :p This brought the conversation to a close, and I had Smiler go over to Astarion again for one more try at getting the knife flip –
And, finally, Astarion did the damn trick! Please be amazed:
I mean, I think that’s pretty impressive height for a dagger!
D) Having had my chat with Karlach, and finally recorded Astarion’s knife trick for posterity, it was time for everyone’s favorite activity – inventory management! Because if Smiler didn’t get some of the heavy shit they’d picked up out of their hyperspace pocket, they were going to suffer the consequences. XD Fortunately, it was pretty easy to get everything sorted:
I. The Sword of Justice went to Lae’zel to be equipped as her new primary weapon – girl deserves a +1 greatsword to swing around
II. The Boots Of The Swift Stalker went to Karlach – I thought about giving them to Lae’zel, then figured she’d probably want to keep her githyanki gear and that Karlach – who is a barbarian and thus someone who will be rushing at enemies a lot – would benefit more from them
III. The Scale Mail went to Shadowheart, as it was a medium armor with 14 AC, while her Sharran armor only had 13 – might as well make her a little bit harder to hit!
IV. And the rest of the weapons, armors, and clothing that Smiler had picked up, apart from the Reliquary of the Devout, went to Karlach – because she is the strong one and thus should be carrying around all this heavy shit. XD
I also, of course, took a moment to dye Karlach’s new boots and Shadowheart’s new armor the correct colors to match the rest of their outfits:
I think the ladies look pretty good, honestly. :) It’s nice having dyes custom-made for each character, honestly! Thank you, “FaerunColors” mod! :)
E) And with that, it was time to officially end the day! After the usual “sure you want to do this?” pop-up, the sun set and everyone got in their “nighttime” clothes –
And a cutscene started, with Wyll, Smiler, and Karlach walking around the edge of the campfire, only to see a mysterious portal start to open up in front of them. Smiler didn’t know what was going on, but Wyll sure did, commenting, “Hell’s fires. She’s coming.” –
And shortly thereafter, out of the ground popped everyone’s least-favorite cambion, Bitch Tits herself, Mizora! She greeted Wyll with a cruel and sultry, “Wyll. You’ve been naughty. And you know what happens when you’re naughty,” while Karlach, hanging behind Wyll, complained, “Gods damn it. Anyone but her.” Smiler, realizing what was going on, chose the diplomatic route (and the [WARLOCK] dialogue option), commenting, “That’s a nice set of wings. Let me guess: Wyll’s patron?” –
Causing Mizora to coolly reply, “Handler’s the word, if it’s all the same.” It is NOT, Bitch Tits – though now I am imagining 47 and Diana from Hitman going up against her, which does amuse me. :p Anyway, she continued with, “My pup here’s been unruly – and his leash needs a yank,” magically pulling Wyll closer to her by the neck and choking him. >( She then reminded him, “We had a deal, Wyll. But Karlach’s still breathing” –
Prompting Karlach to butt in with “I’ve taken more pleasant shits than you, Mizora, and at least those can be buried after.” Hah. >D Mizora, sadly, wasn’t phased, scolding Karlach with “That’s no kind of talk for a lady” before adding that Zariel sends her regards. *grrr* Wyll snapped through his invisible leash that Mizora had told him “devils only” and pointed out that Karlach was a tiefling, not a monster –
Prompting Mizora to go “How precious. The little pupster’s found his bark.” >( She then quoted Clause G, Section Nine of her and Wyll’s pact: “Targets shall be limited to the infernal, the demonic, the heartless, and the soulless” –
Before coolly pointing out “Karlach meets the criteria by virtue of having no heart.” Smiler, already done with this woman, warned her “You’d better not lay a damned finger on Karlach” to the approval of most of the group – Mizora, with a tinge of disappointment, told them not to worry, “that ship has long sailed the Styx.” She then added that “But a defiant pup must still pay his price” –
And summoned a burst of hellfire that surrounded Wyll, burning him with the full might of Avernus and shoving his soul through all the layers of the Hells, “gaining their essence – and their torment:”
...okay, maybe his expression in this particular screenshot isn’t selling the agony, but still. And then, after a bit more torture, Wyll’s skin turned temporarily as black as pitch – and he emerged from the flames changed:
Yes, those are horns now protruding from his head! Wyll demanded to know what she’d done as he returned to – well, not NORMAL, but to looking properly humanoid, at least – Mizora just replied “A promise broken, a price paid. You know the terms,” before adding, “Get used to the new form, pet – there’s no going back. Some magic, even I can’t undo.” *hisses at her* She then mocked him with “Let’s see how the Frontiers fare without their precious Blade,” before asking Karlach to keep an eye on him –
And informing a startled Smiler that she’d be keeping an eye on them. Oh dear. Fortunately, she took her leave right after, informing Wyll before she left that their pact still stood. *growls* God, I hate that woman. You just want to punch her in the face.
F) With Mizora gone, Smiler felt it pretty important to check in with Wyll and Karlach – starting with Wyll first, because, well, he’s the one who got transformed into a devilish shape (he’s not REALLY a devil – his character sheet still lists him as a human – but he’s got some devil features now, like the horns and a glowing red eye). Wyll was drowning his sorrows via idle animation when Smiler arrived at his tent, and greeted them with a “Gods damn her straight back to the Hells. Just look at me. I did what was right. And Mizora made me pay for it.” He added in a rant that she’d told him he’d be hunting the worst of the worst – devils, demons, traitors, hypocrites – “heartless evils of all sorts” – before continuing sorrowfully, “but not...not Zariel’s victims, not innocent tieflings.” Smiler, sympathetic, took the [WARLOCK] option and again and noted that Wyll was lucky Mizora didn’t straight-up take his soul when she came – Wyll replied, “I’d count my lucky stars for it – but I reckon is on holiday. I’m only alive because my patron still has use for me.” He then admitted – probably because we’d already figured it out – that Mizora was indeed his patron, and granted him the ability to “conjure armor and cast eldritch blasts” (suggesting to me that I chose the wrong invocation for him before – should have gone with “Armour of Shadows!”), adding that “before I was infected, I could even call hellbeasts and summon festering clouds.” (*takes notes for later*) He quickly promised Smiler that “every thrust of my blade and every flame I sparked was for the good of the Coast,” though. Smiler was willing to believe that, as they’d seen what a good man Wyll was already –
Which meant they had to ask, “How in the Hells did you get involved with Mizora?” She did not seem like the kind of patron Wyll would want to hang around with! This actually got a bit of Wyll approval, even as he revealed that was “the one little question that put me out of house and home” and that he was unable to “utter the terms or circumstances of the pact. I can tell you most all else – but the pact? I’m forbidden, unless Mizora permits it.” Because she’s Bitch Tits and she likes tormenting Wyll that way. >( He then added, “But I’ll say this: the moment I pacted myself to Mizora I have not regretted for a heartbeat. It was my proudest deed. It was worth the sacrifice. All I can give you on that is my solemn word.” Awwwww – Smiler believes you, Wyll! They know what kind of guy you are! And they’re gonna do their best to get you out of this hellish deal. (While simultaneously being very grateful that their own patron is SO MUCH NICER. Seriously, they LUCKED OUT with Mar-Mal.)
G) With Wyll literally unable to talk to them more, Smiler then made their way over to Karlach, who they caught lying down for a look at the stars above her tent:
Cute, though the effect was slightly ruined when I moused over her and noticed her tail clipping through the ground. XD Anyway, Smiler went to ask how she was, and she informed them, “I’ll be honest, soldier – I’m reeling. Wyll hardly knows me, but he chose my life over his. Been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that.” Smiler agreed that “He’s a good man. Maybe the best of us,” and Karlach replied, “You can say that again. When he was chasing me through Avernus I thought he was just another sad merc. How wrong I was.” Indeed – instead, he is like your instant ride-or-die bestie. Seriously, I so feel that, even in the vanilla game, Karlach and Wyll should be fine with you romancing the other because they are SO sympatico SO fast. They were made to be part of a polycule together.
H) And with that, I found myself on the horns of a mild dilemma – namely, did I actually FINISH the long rest by giving everyone supper and sending them to bed, and see what might pop up as a result, or did I stop my session with Wyll’s transformation, given I’d already gone a little over my allotted hour of playtime? After thinking about it, I decided “I don’t know what’s going to come up next – could be nothing, could be Astarion’s fun little ‘bite night’ event, could be something else – and I don’t want to spend all night summing up what I did in my game, so let’s call it here and finish the long rest next time.” So, instead, I ended the session by having Smiler destress with a little alchemy! They’d certainly gathered enough ingredients during their earlier adventures after all. :) They thus proceeded to:
I. Turn their belladonna and wispweed into sublimates (unlocking the recipe for the “Potion of Glorious Vaulting,” which triples Jump distance for ten turns, in the process)
II. Turn their mugwort and rogue’s morsel mushrooms into two batches of salts each (as they had so much of both)
III. Turn their mergrass into a suspension
IV. Make a Potion of Glorious Vaulting for the funsies – sadly, they critically failed the Medicine check to make a second one
V. And make a Potion of Mind Reading so they’d have another one handy for probing into people’s thoughts – and happily, this one they succeeded the Medicine check and thus got two! Nice! :)
And yeah, that is where I left it! Next time, everyone has dinner and goes to bed, and we see if anything interesting happens overnight! And if not, we’ll go back to the tollhouse and continue looting, as there was a hatch in the room Anders was in that the gang hasn’t investigated yet, and the wiki indicates there’s yet more goodies to be had if you can get into the secret treasure room in the lower levels of the house...
YouTube: Twas another week without a CaFae Latte compilation (Chris must either be busy or is letting the shorts pile up until she has enough for a proper season) – fortunately, I had two other things to watch instead this evening –
A) “7 Worst James Bond Games of All Time” by OXBox! Featuring Jane and Mike (again – I am starting to wonder where the heck Andy is) going through the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to James Bond games, presumably in honor of the new one by Hitman developer IO coming out soon! The entries ranged from 007 Racing (a terrible 2000 racing game featuring a sequence where James Bond gets put in his own Speed scenario in a rental car and John Cleese as Q whining about you scratching the paint job – Jane insisted that was what the premium insurance was for) to Live And Let Die (a terrible 1988 speedboat shooter that Mike declared of important historical value as one of the very first cheap cash-in games, as it was clearly a regular speedboat game the developer just slapped the 007 label on), to GoldenEye: Rogue Agent (a terrible 2004 first-person shooter where you didn’t even play as James Bond – you instead were a disgraced MI6 agent with a golden cybernetic eye working for Goldfinger – and yes, Mike at least believes EA put “GoldenEye” in the title to lure in people with fond memories of the N64 game) –
But, in an interesting twist, both the “best of the worst” and “worst of the worst” entries were fairly similar – James Bond games published by Activision and starting the Daniel Craig version of Bond that really wanted to be Call Of Duty games instead of spy games. The difference was, the “best of the worst,” 007: Quantum of Solace, was made by the people behind the Call Of Duty franchise and actually featured (an admittedly disinterested) Daniel Craig and thus was mostly merely forgettable; the “worst of the worst,” 007 Legends, was made by people who’d never made anything like a COD game and featured a Daniel Craig impersonator constantly fucking up the iconic “Bond. James Bond” catchphrase and thus had pretty much no redeeming features. Don’t even get them started on the driving sections… Bottom line, avoid these games like the plague and instead see if you can emulate the classic GoldenEye 007 for the N64 while you wait for IO’s entry, 007 First Light.
B) And “Paralives: 23 FEATURES YOU NEED TO KNOW! (Early Access)” by onlyabidoang! Who, sadly, was suffering from chicken pox at the time of recording (poor guy’s face was COVERED in spots), but still willing to give us the skinny on a bunch of the features coming in the Early Access release of Paralives with the help of the Para versions of some of his classic Sim characters (including his own self-Para and Dammit Emily)! Some notable ones included:
I. The fact that Paras can be different heights, and actually have a really big range of heights, with the smallest adult Paras being about 4’9” and the tallest being about 6’4”. And interactions between Paras of different heights are actually pretty damn smooth – like, not all of them are perfect, but Abi was able to get a Tall and a Small to socialize, slow dance, and kiss effectively. Object interactions are pretty good too, though, again, some stuff needs tweaking.
II. The fact that, not only can you stretch and squash lots of objects and have them remain functional (like stretching a couch out to seat dozens of Paras, or squashing a window to let in less light), but you can also enable an advanced mode to let you raise objects up, twist them around, and morph them in more extreme ways – though this mode WILL most likely make functional objects non-functional as you twist them out of a usable shape. Still fascinating, though!
III. The fact that certain jobs will let you choose your hours, and others will even let you choose which days you work, which is very cool – depending on which job you choose for your Para, that offers a lot of flexibility!
IV. The fact that there’s a newspaper (the New Paper) that will alert you to any events happening in the town (which can include astronomy club meet-ups, outdoor film screenings, yoga classes, and a weekly Sunday marketplace), provide random snippets of news, hint at activities you can try or stuff you can find, and even occasionally give you free money in the form of “coupons.” Who doesn’t love a coupon?
V. And the fact that, not only is there a “preteen” life stage, but children, preteens, and teens will all have little “growth spurts” every couple of days as they age, so you can see them getting bigger and older in real time! Making aging feel a lot more gradual and realistic.
Plus tons of other neat stuff! Yes, the video also showed off how this is very much an Early Access title (there were various bugs like sheets glitching out as a Para got into bed and Paras clipping into the ground), but damn it, I am genuinely looking forward to grabbing this and sinking my metaphorical teeth into it. Especially the Paramaker because – as I’ve said before, to Gigs at least – the fact that Paras can be different heights means I can finally have a version of my Valicer OT3 where everyone is at the correct height! Though, of course, we’ll have to see if I can even make them first – dunno if any of the starting hairstyles or such will actually be right...
*nods* Nice. ...though I have stayed up way later than I intended thanks to getting distracted by TV Tropes. ^^; So it's off to bed for me! Tomorrow is Fallout Sunday -- plans include continuing to work on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts; play a bit of Fallout: New Vegas and see if Victor can save Deputy Beagle; and watch the next episode of "The Worst Wanderer" by Jon (hopefully with my workout, but we'll see when he uploads). Hopefully all achievable goals! Night all!
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Date: 2026-05-24 04:02 pm (UTC)