So -- Who Wants To Read Something Early?

I actually finished "Losing You" the other day -- I think that's the quickest I've ever written a chapter story, even one as short as this. I'd like to get another pair of eyes on it before I start posting it up at FF.net, so. . .you guys want to look at it, tell me if it works or not? Here's Chapter One, which is basically "what happened immediately after the movie ended:"
( Losing You, Chapter One )

Yeah, I know I usually write Victor as an insomniac, but I figure I can give him a break when he's clearly been through quite the exhausting ordeal. Anyway, tell me what you think!