Goddamn Monday

Yeah, today was -- not great. As will be elucidated on below:

Work – Work itself was rather irritating – one of my coworkers spontaneously took the day off, meaning it was just me and Talky, and the day consisted largely of me trying to get through the GL, then trying to get through putting as many of the checks that he got in the mail on, all while being interrupted by bursts of credit card calls basically coming one on top of another. Just – very glad that I got an uninterrupted lunch, at least, but still. Not my favorite way to spend a Monday.

And then I got home and discovered that the dealership was claiming they COULDN’T refund me the charge they forced on me for the oil change on my credit card because it had been “too long.” Mom apparently started screaming at them, so they’re ONCE AGAIN claiming they’re sending a check to cover the amount, but we’ll see if THAT happens. Also, we attempted to set up an account with Chevrolet to see if we could get their help in figuring out if the dealership was double-billing me and them for this oil change, only – after being unable to sign up FIVE TIMES IN A ROW – to call them and discover that the site is actually for registering with fucking OnStar. And that no, Chevrolet has nothing to do with the oil changes. So yeah – lost pretty much my entire afternoon pre-workout to that fucking nonsense. *sigh* I swear, if I could do it all over again, I’d never buy that fucking car, especially not from THAT fucking dealership. . .

To-Do List –

1. Get in a workout: Check – hopped on the bike (eventually) and started the final episode of Oxventure: Deadlands – “Amat Victoria Curam!” This one opened with the group in the saloon in Croyt’s Wrath (the location of Victoria’s ranch and thus sort of the gang’s “home base”), having a drink together to celebrate the completion of their bounties – Garnet attempted to do a toast to their various adventures, but was hampered by the fact that Silas’s glass was dry (as Mike didn’t have one in front of him), Delacy was still refusing to drink hard liquor, and Nate was just GLUGGING down the whiskey to pickle himself further. XD Delacy commented that he’d like to be able to drink whiskey like that one day (or drink whiskey at all), and Nate said they’d start him off small and then see how things went in his life, Delacy admitting there was a very good chance that he’d end up shot dead too. Which prompted Edie to go “what?” and Nate to have to explain the whole “I’m a Harrowed, AKA a zombie animated by a demon that hopes to take over my corporal form eventually to cause mayhem” thing again to her (revealing that he’d actually forgotten they’d met in the process – which I guess was understandable, given they never actually worked on a bounty together, and also he was in his late 80s when he died XD). Edie was – disturbed, to say the least, especially since Nate had given up drinking water thanks to his new status, meaning that he was looking pretty raisiny these days. Talk turned to their various adventures, with Delacy filling in Nate on his and Edie’s adventures at the World’s Fair (which wasn’t very fair at all, but he had fun meeting Bison Billie and killing Aunt Hildy), and Nate in turn telling him about how he’d been arrested, shot, and hanged, and then killed the judge who hanged him during his time with Silas and Garnet in the Boudreau’s town.

Which incidentally, had netted him this neat gun – did Delacy want to try shooting him? XD Delacy was game and took the sickle-gun that Nate had claimed from the Hangin’ Judge, and after a few gun tricks where he somehow avoided slicing anything off with the sickle, took a shot. Of course, the gun being of the supernatural persuasion, it refused to fire, and Nate took it back, revealing that it only fired for him. Delacy offered up his chest to shoot, but Nate instead pointed the gun at the ceiling and started letting off a few rounds, delightedly telling Delacy about how it also never needed reloading as the poor bartender ducked for cover. XD Andy had Johnny roll for how many rounds Nate let off and the damage they did –

And a nat 20 meant that some poor prospector’s bathtub came crashing through the ceiling. XD He began weeping about how he’d only wanted a bath as Nate quickly put the gun away. XD Delacy admitted that it was a cool gun, and Nate said that he HAD paid the ultimate price for it – then had to clarify “my life” when Delacy assumed he meant a big amount of money, like $400. Which led to Nate sadly reflecting that most people probably wouldn’t consider his life worth $400, and Delacy heartwarmingly saying that if he had $400, he’d spend it on Nate. :)

And then Nate immediately revealed that he’d made “Meat Strips Du Jour” a real thing, and pulled out his new “meat rope” product (Johnny revealing they had licorice rope snack). When Garnet asked what the meat was made out of, Nate said “Yes.” XD Only Edie was brave enough to take some, and even she couldn’t bring herself to put any in her mouth – especially after Nate started being evasive about the idea that human meat could be in there. XD It seemed that the conversation could have gone on forever in this way –

When suddenly, Delacy noticed something – it was oddly quiet in the bar. Which, granted, could have been caused by Nate discharging his firearm so many times that a bathtub fell through the ceiling, but when Delacy checked the street outside through the window, he noticed that there was no one out there either – just some tumbleweeds. He demanded the bartender tell them what was going on outside, but the bartender said he didn’t know, he hadn’t been outside all day. Delacy then told the bartender to go outside, with the bartender angrily refusing and pointing out that THEY should all go, they shot a hole in his bar. Delacy then reminded him that he was the thirsty kid from their very first day (where he somehow successfully super-intimidated this guy), and the bartender suddenly had urgent business in the back. XD Nate volunteered to go outside, as he was now functionally immortal, and wandered into the street while everyone watched from the windows. Nothing happened but a bit of tumbleweed hitting his shin, but everyone found that suspicious regardless. Garnet pointed out that the whole reason they’d gone for a drink was because Victoria asked them to head out for a bit while she prepared their reward, and that they should thus head back to the ranch to see if anything weird was going on there. This was generally regarded as a good idea, and the group headed out – Garnet making sure to kick the tumbleweed away (and doing well enough on the Athletics roll that she smacked it into the sky). She defended herself to the amused Andy by saying that for all she knew the tumbleweed was some sort of demon – cue Johnny telling Jane “there IS evil monster tumbleweed, it’s called Tumblebleed and it’s basically vampiric tumbleweed.” Andy confirmed it was normal tumbleweed that they’d encountered, but Jane felt vindicated nonetheless. XD Anyway, the group headed up to Victoria’s ranch, passing through the archway over the main entrance –

Only for the world to suddenly shift. The house before them suddenly looked new again (which Silas commented was LESS scary than the falling-apart patchwork they’d been in previously) with bits of architecture going off at weird angles (okay, that was more scary), and the sky was filled with roiling purple clouds (also more scary, for a net gain of one More Scary as Luke pointed out). Nate, being a Harrowed, and Garnet, being a Huckster, immediately twigged that this area was now VERY SUPERNATURAL in origin, with Garnet feeling that the whole place was so magically charged that she wouldn’t need to expend a single power point to cast magic.

Silas, meanwhile, just tried to walk back through the archway behind them to see if that turned the weird supernatural bullshit off. XD He was unable to, however, and Garnet explained that the group was now in the Deadlands of the RPGs title, where the manitou hunt and so on. Nate wondered if Victoria hadn’t told them something about the rings she’d sent them to collect, while Garnet said that she could also be in terrible danger. The group thus made their way up to the house to see how she was –

And upon approaching the front door, heard her call out to them cheerily and invite them inside. Garnet: “Damn, she’s not in terrible danger.” XD Edie tried to chat with her from the relatively safety of the front porch, but Victoria pretended not to be able to hear her very well (despite consistently responding to what Edie was saying) – Nate once again went in as the test subject, and Delacy and Silas soon followed him inside, Garnet bringing up the rear and lurking outside the door to the parlor like a backup agent of sorts. XD Victoria insisted she wasn’t going to harm them and that she wanted to talk to them all, and eventually everyone gathered in the parlor, suspicious and feeling oddly leaden all over their bodies (to the point where, when Delacy tried to draw Rooster on Victoria for not explaining fast enough, he couldn’t. He was not a fan). Victoria greeted them all warmly and commented that she was very impressed with their work, having succeeded at killing the Red Hand gang where no one else could. She also said that she felt like they had become friends during their time together, and that she had a proposition for them. She then revealed that the members of the Red Hand Gang had been more than terrible thieves and murderers and the like –

They’d literally been the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse. (Silas, instantly ruining the mood: “I KNEW HORSES WERE BEHIND THIS!”) Bellows with his shooting contest had been War; Daisy with her horrible hospital had been Pestilence; Boudreau with his deadly court of “law” had been Death; and Hildy with her horrible hollow food products had been Famine. Victoria then went on to say that not a lot of people knew this, but there had been a fifth Horseman in the original group – Conquest. Or, in certain languages –

Victoria. Yes, as it turned out, Victoria herself was the final Horseman of the Apocalypse, revealing that she and her compatriots had been sent down to Earth to bring about the End Times and start things over anew. However, the other four had chosen to use their powers for petty personal gain and the like – and when Victoria tried to get them to stick to the plan, they took her ring and depowered her, sealing it away in a box that could only be opened if the other four rings were with it – the very box that they’d stolen from the train robbery she’d set them as a test. And now that the others had retrieved the rings and allowed her to reclaim her power, she was ready to start the end of the world –

Or, rather, she was ready for Silas, Edie, Nate, Garnet, and Delacy to start the end of the world. Because that was her proposition to them – become the new Horsemen and destroy everything, bringing it into the Deadlands. She even had everyone’s roles picked out – Nate, being a Harrowed, could be Death; Silas, who you didn’t want to get riled, could be War; Garnet, who she interpreted as never being truly satisfied, could be Famine; Edie, whose brother’s death lingered in her like a disease, could be Pestilence; and Delacy, the bloodthirsty child, could be Conquest. She cheerfully asked if they were on board –

And everyone was rather like “uh, we did this job for MONEY.” XD Victoria seemed rather puzzled and annoyed by everyone’s reluctance to take on their new mantles (and by Nate telling her that you should never make friends with your employees) – the group ATTEMPTED to stall for time by asking for the chance to have a group discussion, but Delacy rather ruined that by saying that they’d killed four Horsemen, they could certainly kill a fifth while making eye contact with Victoria in said discussion. XD The others, though, admittedly they similarly weren’t keen on the idea, with Nate pointing out that if they did this, they’d never get their financial reward; Edie saying that unleashing monsters upon the world went against everything she’d ever tried to do as a monster hunter and also she didn’t want to be Pestilence, she hated Pestilence; and Silas insisting that there were still good people in the world – and even agreeing when Delacy insisted his horse Humble Ned was one of them. (Edie was like “aww, you brought him around!” and Silas was like “let’s not go that far.”) XD So the group officially announced to Victoria that they weren’t going to be any Horsemen, thanks –

Cue Victoria going, “fine, I’ll do it all MYSELF,” putting on all five rings, and powering up into her Conquest form. D: Nate and Silas were both immediately like “shit, we should have pretended to be on her side, got the rings, let her perish, and then just faked destroying the world.” XD But yes, it looks like this episode is going to be one big boss fight against their former employer – we’ll see how THAT goes for everyone tomorrow!

2. Work on the OT3 Week Valicer prompts: Check – edited the “knight, princess, and dragon are all actually together” prompt today, with Victor the knight trekking up the hill to where Smiler the dragon and Alice the princess are living in a cave to get his brains lovingly scrambled. Yeah, the hypnokinky didn’t go anywhere while I was revising this. XD Once again, I had some trouble with an early sentence that took longer than I would have liked to resolve, but I got it all sorted. Next up, time to possibly switch a POV on the “childhood friends” prompt!

3. Keep up with YouTube Subs: Check – despite getting to it very late, I was still able to fit in the GrayStillPlays video of the day – “Long Cars vs Reverse Speedbumps in GTA 5!” Or, perhaps more accurately, meme cars versus reverse speedbumps, as Gray’s options included a lawnmower, a forklift, a military convo of bodybuilders and their friend Tracey, a prison bus, that weird vehicle with the giant flat bit on the front, the FLY US flat truck (I think it might be a luggage handler?), and the multi-rocket military car. Though they were all pretty long for their respective vehicle classes, admittedly. XD Anyway, Gray’s task was to find the one that could get through the following –

I. Baby, Daughter, Son, Mama, Dad, Grandad Reverse Speedbumps – a multicolored set of roughly v-shaped pits that got wider and wider as Gray went along, with the one at the beginning barely being a slit, and the one at the end being a pretty wide gap! You needed speed to get over these – that and knowing when to pop your hydraulics.

II. Rubber Reverse Speedbumps – a bunch of reverse speedbump pits made out of tires, with some being shallower and some being deeper. Nothing special here – just more jumping the pits, lest you get stuck in them!

III. Futuristic Reverse Speedbumps – a couple of reverse speedbump pits made out of pieces of futuristic architecture – one the standard rounded scoop, the other a giant bowl-like thing. Very hard to get out of once you fell in unless you had the right car!

IV. Reverse Speedbumps With Giant Speedbumps Inside Of Them. Makes Sense? – Not really, Alex – anyway, this was a pair of reverse speedbump pits with giant domes inside of them. Gray had to leap the pit by bouncing himself off the middle bump to make it the entire way – but while the FIRST bump was normal, the SECOND bump had slow-down sticks inside of it. And more slow-down sticks on the wall of the pit in front of it. Meaning Gray had to hit the bump at an angle to propel himself forward and just HOPE he stuck the landing. VERY frustrating.

V. Wide Wooded Reverse Speedbump, But You Can [S]low Down Time – And finally, a huge reverse speedbump made out of a skateboarding/BMX biking half-pike, that Gray had to cross by popping his hydraulics at just the right time. And yes, he could slow down time, but he quickly found out that Alex’s script slowed him down WAAAY too much for it to be useful – though it did lead to a very cool slow-motion look at him going through his windshield on a failed attempt. XD

So, which car made it through? Well, the lawnmower and the forklift couldn’t get past the family of reverse speedbumps (though both got farther than expected), while Tracey’s convoy kept failing on getting through the rubber reverse speedbumps and the prison bus got stuck on the first futuristic reverse speedbump. The military rocket truck was the first to make it to the bowl, only to fall in –

And reveal the present that Alex had left for Gray down there – a pink super-car sitting at the bottom of the bowl! AKA, the car that could ACTUALLY complete all the challenges. XD The rocket truck had unfortunately smashed it and set it on fire on that run, but Gray reloaded and used the FLY US truck to get back there, where he claimed his present, got out of the bowl, and proceeded to work his way through the rest of the board! Took a few tries, but fortunately once he was in it, the car respawned with him at the spawn point, so at least he didn’t have to keep going to get it every time. XD Guess that was a little mean even for Alex. . .that or he just plain didn’t think of it. XD Maybe next time!

4. Get my tumblr queues sorted: No check – I barely kept up with Victor Luvs Alice’s dashboard today. *sigh* But then again, given how much time I lost this afternoon to the fucking bullshit with the dealership. . . I did at least make sure to answer Newt’s latest message to me – that should count for SOMETHING.

Yeah. Glad I was able to keep up on some stuff, but -- yeah. I'm going to bed and seeing if Tuesday is any better. Night all.