Shitty Saturday
Feb. 7th, 2026 11:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crossover_chickThe morning was all tense because Dad was having pain and thus was all grumpy (understandably); I ended up spending most of my morning making a fresh batch of granola (since I used up the last of the last batch in my morning bowl of cereal) and changing the sheets on my bed, meaning I had no time to work on my Valicertines or anything else related to Valentine's Day; and Mom attempted to order some Chinese food for our belated game night through DoorDash, only for our Dasher to never show up -- Mom is pretty sure that he straight up delivered the food to the wrong house (who accepted it because "free food!"). Luckily we had plenty of lunch leftovers to eat instead, and DoorDash gave us a refund, but it was still shitty! And making everything worse is the fact that I'm certain I'm PMSing now, so my moods are, well, mooding. *sigh* I really miss when I could look forward to a weekend and it wouldn't betray me.
...and it's past 2 AM here, so I will have to complete this entry tomorrow. Because after a certain point it gets very hard for me to concentrate on what I feel I should be doing. *facepalm* Have the unspaced version of the BG3 and CaFae Tales stuff below -- I'll fix that and fill in the other two things I did later! EDIT 2/8/2026: The BG3 and CaFae Tales sections have been properly spaced out, and I've added the missing Writing and Tumblr sections for your perusal:
Writing: It took a little longer than I anticipated (mainly because I always seem to have more end-of-chapter notes than I anticipate, and I struggled a bit with coming up with a chapter title), but I did indeed post Chapter 3 of “The Van Dort Vacancy” today! AKA the brief POV flip back to Alice so we can see what she and Smiler got up to while they were separated from Victor, and so I could introduce Kasimir, the other Oxventure Presents: Blades In The Dark character I’m borrowing for this. I quite enjoyed writing this, especially the scenes of chaos in the Van Dort kitchen and Alice and Smiler’s reactions to the Van Dort aquarium greenhouse – I hope you all enjoy it too!
Tumblr: It was another dead quiet day over on Valice Multiverse, but while I didn’t get a chance to work on any Valicertine’s stuff over on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler), I did at least make a post promoting the new chapter of “The Van Dort Vacancy” over there! ...though I had to wait until after I’d played BG3 (below), because the formatting for “Link” posts kept breaking. *sigh* Tumblr is a functional web site...but yeah, that went up, and at the very least thesatiricaldemon was nice enough to reblog it, so...something!
Baldur’s Gate III: Today’s return to Faerûn consisted mostly of an afternoon – or, for the characters, an evening – full of cutscenes! With Smiler learning a bit more about their companions and possibly getting hit on by a couple of them. Oh, and they finally progressed one of the main quests too, at the very end. XD Let me tell you all about it:
A) I picked up where I left off at the end of my last session – with the gang all hanging out in the Wilderness camp, having helped Pandirna, offloaded more weapons on Dammon, and had a bit of trouble opening their various containers so Smiler could dye their new cloak. Accordingly, after everything popped back into existence, I had Smiler quickly open the camp chest and some of the various containers in their inventory to confirm everything was kosher with them – fortunately, all the inventory pop-ups appeared without a problem. *whew* Did not need that bug rearing its ugly head again! I then had Smiler do a bit of alchemy, creating an antidote (never know when you might need one of those – sadly, they crit-failed the Medicine check, so they didn’t get a spare) and grinding up some Rogue’s Morsels into salts, before sending them wandering toward the center of camp as I pondered whether or not I wanted to send the gang out again or have them long rest. Which did afford them an excellent opportunity to watch Lae’zel sharpening her sword, at least:
I do like the idle animations some of the characters do in camp – Lae’zel’s in particular seem so her. :p
Anyway, I took a moment and thought hard about what I wanted to do, considering such things like “the gang does still have one short rest left, might be a shame to waste it” and “well, Gale can restore his final Level I spell slot with that Arcane Charge of his, but Shadowheart is looking a little drained of magic” and “Astarion IS missing a few hit points, but, again, have a short rest in hand, so that can be pretty easily fixed” –
And finally going, “Screw it, I got that ‘Camp Events Overhaul’ mod for a reason – let’s have the party long rest and see what cutscenes I get that I might not have gotten otherwise.” I thus clicked the campfire and confirmed that I would like to end the day –
And, almost the moment day transitioned into night, I got a cutscene! One featuring Shadowheart sitting on the ground by the fire with her back to everyone, fiddling with the mysterious artefact that she took from her pod on the ship and muttering, “Damn thing...it has to open, surely. It has to do something.” Smiler noticed this and wandered over for a bit of a look – sadly, they failed the passive Arcana check to figure out what the glyphs on the sides were. They then asked Shadowheart what she had there –
Only for her to instantly hide the box (I’m not sure where, given how skin-tight her casual camp clothes are) and scramble awkwardly to her feet, going, “It’s nothing, trust me. Beautiful evening, isn’t it?” I considered having Smiler allow her to change the subject –
But decided, no, they’d be too curious at this point, and instead had them gently press her with, “Why are you so keen to dodge questions about that thing?” Which got them a guilty look from Shadowheart and an admission that “You deserve honesty more than most…” followed by a “but please, don’t ask.” She looked so sad that Smiler caved and said, “All right, I can respect that. But if you want to talk, I’m here.” Shadowheart admitted that might not be anytime soon, but thanked them, just the same. A nice, surprisingly tender moment between them –
That was, uh, slightly ruined by Gale creeping on the pair in the background. XD See for yourselves:
He was so interested in hearing what they had to say! Sorry, Gale, that’s between Smiler and Shadowheart – and besides, the artefact is one of the magical objects you are very much not allowed to eat.
B) With the business with Shadowheart sorted, I expected to return to the game proper, to see who had a “!” over their head and thus a special little scene for Smiler – but to my surprise, the game instead catapulted me into another cutscene – this one a solo feature just for Smiler, with them hanging out by the campfire and smiling into the distance as the narrator, well, narrated their thoughts: “The dark clouds of your imagination part, and a speck of hope shines through. A goblin priestess seems an unlikely ally, but you have faith she can destroy the tadpole in your brain. A smile threatens to curl your lip. A cure is on the horizon. Soon, you’ll be rid of this tadpole for good.” Nothing particularly special, but it was nice to get – it seems like the kind of cutscene that normally only pops up if you’re on a solo run! Plus, we got a cute Smiler face out of it:
I will always consider their Sims 4 look their “canonical” look, but I’ve grown fairly fond of their BG3 look as well, I must admit.
C) Anyway – with that extra cutscene over with, it was time to go around camp and see who wanted to chat with Smiler – which ended up being everyone except for Gale! Which I guess makes sense, Gale and Smiler have chatting a lot during the adventure itself, so there’s less need for them to have special camp scenes together. I thus had Smiler make the rounds, starting with Astarion since he was the closest and didn’t get a special scene in the Ruins camp – here’s how each conversation went:
Astarion – Smiler approached their still-won’t-admit-he’s-a-vampire-yet companion to find him lying on a bedroll, stargazing. He greeted them with “It’s quite a sight,” before clarifying, “The stars, I mean. I could take or leave your chin.” XD Smiler agreed that the stars were beautiful, and Astarion continued on with “I can see the stars from Baldur’s Gate, of course, but not with such clarity. It got me thinking. Reflecting on what tomorrow might bring, when we meet this goblin priestess. Will she know how to bring the worm under control? Will this little adventure of ours be over?” Smiler, wanting to lighten the mood, lightly teased Astarion with a “What? Will you miss me?” –
And Astarion laughed, going “Why not?” as he got to his feet. “You’ve been to the Hells and back. Survived the crash. Survived everything that’s followed. I’m not easily impressed by people, but you’re stronger than I gave you credit for.” Which was very nice of him to say, yes –
But also kind of threw me, because, uh, I’m pretty sure Astarion currently has the lowest approval of Smiler’s cheerful do-gooder nature (Lae’zel’s down there too, but Smiler earned some brownie points with her by letting her bully that guard for information on the githyanki patrol). O.o I refrained from having Smiler admit they thought Astarion didn’t like them, though, instead going for “I’m just trying to survive. Like you.” Astarion agreed, murmuring “we’re more similar than I thought…”
While looking very soulfully at Smiler. Or, perhaps, their neck. XD Smiler, now slightly confused (and wondering if Astarion was maybe flirting with them – I mean, Smiler, one of the other dialogue options you could have chosen before included you mentioning you have many talents and subtly hinting that he could pursue them if he wished, so the game certainly assumed there was something going on) asked, “Are you feeling all right?” –
And Astarion snapped out of it, admitting, “Oh, I was leagues away. I just need to…” [significant pause] “...get some air. Clear my head,” before assuring Smiler that they’d see each other later and telling them to “sleep tight.” XD Yeah, uh, this may not have been Astarion flirting so much as Astarion being thirsty. :P But still!
Wyll: Approaching their fellow warlock sent a tingle straight through Smiler’s body – though this wasn’t anything romantic, sadly, just their tadpole reaching out to Wyll’s. Wyll acknowledged that he felt the shiver too, commenting, “Our little brain-worms have made fast friends, it would seem,” before asking Smiler how they felt. After considering their options, Smiler assured Wyll they felt “Confident. No tiny tadpole will be getting the best of me.” Wyll admiringly replied, “Courage in danger’s shadow. I love to see it” –
Before adding in confusion, “But shouldn’t the shadow have crept closer, gone darker by now?” He continued that, “Before the illithid’s unscheduled surgery, I’d felled hundreds of beasts and a fair few fiends. The tadpole’s weakened me, suppressed greater talents. But beyond that – I’ve shown no sign of turning. No nausea, no pain, not even a hot flash.” Smiler, thinking it over, suggested, “Something’s special about us. Or, at least, about our tadpoles” –
And Wyll agreed, sending a bit of approval Smiler’s way as he responded, “Indeed. Perhaps the worms’ vat was poisoned. Perhaps we’re uncommonly fit.” (Smiler, to themselves, admiring Wyll’s figure: “You certainly are.” XD) “Or perhaps the tadpoles are merely on holiday.” He then admitted, “We could conjecture all night. I suppose the ‘why’ doesn’t matter so much as the ‘what next.’ And that answer is plain as the horns on a wardevil’s head: we get these things out,” before ending things by encouraging them to get some rest, as dawn would show up sooner than they thought. *nods* Nice – this is one of the big cutscenes I was worried I’d miss (as it’s easily canceled by meeting Karlach and thus triggering Mizora to show up for the first time), so it was great to see it. And to get a bit of extra Wyll approval in the process. :)
Lae’zel: Our local grumpy githyanki greeted Smiler when they wandered over with “A fine evening, don’t you think?” following it up with the surprisingly poetic “The moonlight shines warmly on us. The breeze caresses our faces.” I was starting to wonder if she was feeling okay, or preparing to have her own weird flirt with Smiler –
And then she declared it all “hideous” and complained that she’d rather be “doing battle up there, among the Tears.” Ah, there’s the Lae’zel we know and maybe love. XD Smiler, curious, asked, “What do you mean by ‘the Tears?’” prompting her to tell them, “Look above. Watch the moon cross the sky. The Tears follow behind it. Rocky bodies tumbling through the Sea of Night. One of them is my creche: K’liir.” So I guess the moon has its own little sub-moons or asteroids following it in this universe? That’s kinda cool, I like it. :) Smiler, now very intrigued, inquired, “Are all githyanki from the Tears?” –
And, to my surprise, Lae’zel looked surprised that Smiler wanted to know more, telling them that “Your curiosity is to be commended.” I guess she didn’t expect them to actually want to know more about her people! She then informed them that “Githyanki are hatched in creches all throughout Realmspace. K’liir is one of many,” before reminiscing – “It’s there I first saw a kith’rak mount a red dragon. Where I slit my cousins’ throats at the varsh’s command.” ...sounds like a fun place! *grimacing* Man, githyanki culture is fucked up...fortunately, she decided that Smiler was wasting their resting time and wrapped up things before telling them about more potential atrocities she committed, informing them, “Come dawn, we resume our search for a creche.” Sorry, Lae’zel, but that will actually be coming later in the playthrough – I promise we will go to one eventually, though! At least it gives you plenty of time to practice fighting mind flayers on your dummy:
Shadowheart: And God’s Favorite Princess playfully said, “The leader of the pack comes to chat” once Smiler wandered over to her area of the camp (she actually has her tent on the opposite side from everyone else’s – probably to make it easier to stop anyone going through her stuff) before continuing with “What’s on your mind? You must be pleased to have a clear path forward. The sooner we find this ‘Priestess Gut,’ the better. I can’t wait to get rid of this thing in my head.” Trust me, Shadowheart, Smiler felt the same. Curious, they asked what would come next once this was all over and they were free –
Only to get “Head to Baldur’s Gate. Someone’s waiting for me.” Which, well, was a conversation they’d already had, and thus Smiler knew she wasn’t going to divulge who was waiting anytime soon. So instead they changed the subject and asked how she was feeling. She let them know she was feeling “The same. These parasites are proving suspiciously benign” –
Before asking, “But suppose I turn...what would you do?” I agonized for a bit over what Smiler would be likely to say, and settled on “Maybe I could leave you tied up while I hunted for a cure,” as the kindest option –
And Shadowheart immediately replied, “Really? I’d just kill you.” Gee, thanks, Shadowheart. And then she followed that up with “Anyway, get some rest. Try not to dream about tying me up,” delivered with a smirk. XD Oh Shadowheart...I guess Smiler kind of deserved that. XD
And with that, it was time for the gang to hit the sack! Smiler thus trimmed the party down to just four people (to comply with the game’s demands that they obey the vanilla game party limit before trying to rest), used a supply sack to provide everyone with dinner, then bedded down for the night...accompanied by one final cutscene of Astarion sneaking away into the darkness, unnoticed by the others. Well, he did say that he needed to “get some air” – I suspect we’ll be finding the results of that sooner or later!
D) And with that, morning came! Everyone got back in their regular armor, and Smiler restored the party’s normal composition with the help of the custom spell my expanded party mod gives me for just such a purpose. While doing so, I also happened to notice something interesting – namely, that the little sleeping area around the campfire looks different in the morning than it does any other time you visit! Most of the time there’s four bedrolls laid out for Tav and some of their companions to sleep on – but in the morning, those bedrolls are rolled up next to backpacks and such, as if the owners packed them up for traveling purposes. There’s even signs of one of the companions making breakfast at one of them, with a skillet sitting next to one roll – given Gale is canonically the camp cook, that roll must be his then. XD It was just a neat little bit of detail – here, see for yourself:
(Why yes, I did go a little heavy on the screenshots this session; what of it?)
Anyway! As it was morning, it was time for The Morning Magic Routine – namely:
I. Smiler casting False Life (courtesy of their Eldritch Invocations) and Speak With Animals (courtesy of their Amulet of Lost Voices) on themselves
II. Wyll casting False Life (courtesy of his Eldritch Invocations) on himself, and binding his rapier to him as his pact weapon as per his Warlock Pact Of The Blade (meaning it now inflicts magical damage, uses his Charisma modifier for attack and damage rolls, and makes sure Wyll is proficient with it – also, it cannot be dropped or thrown, which means Wyll isn't getting disarmed anytime soon)
III. Gale casting Longstrider on himself and everyone else in the party, since he could do so for free so long as they weren’t in combat (which involved a lot of running around as he had to be close to his targets)
*nods* Gotta be prepared for the adventures ahead! I then had Smiler speak quickly to Astarion, to see if he had any interesting morning dialogue – unfortunately, all he responded with was a “Yes?” and all Smiler could respond with was either a request he stay in camp or an end to the conversation. Meh. Smiler thus ended the conversation –
E) And the party headed back to the Hollow and their adventures! First of which was to figure out where the big stone door at the other side of the Hollow from the makeshift prison, near where Aradin and his fellows were drinking. I thus had Smiler and the other step through –
And on the other side, they were greeted with the Secluded Chamber! A very druidy place with plants, dirt, and a couple of bear states (one regular, one broken) on either side of the path. Ahead of the group was a little round building of sorts with a camp next to it – and approaching it allowed them to overhear part of a conversation about scouts trying to find their way past the goblins. Curious, I panned forward to see who was in there –
And found Zevlor! Chatting with Tilses, another tiefling and apparently a friend of his. As I watched, they got into a little argument about Tilses calling him “Commander,” with him insisting she call him by his name, as they were civilians now. Tilses tried to insist that “being a Hellrider is for life” and that “they” couldn’t take that from them – but Zevlor insisted they could and did, and that Avernus changed a lot of things, and they had to get used to it. Causing her to reluctantly agree and call him “Zevlor.” Aw. These poor tieflings – they have had a rough life. :( I was a bit loathe to interrupt their conversation, honestly –
But, well, Smiler did actually need to talk to Zevlor in the wake of the incident with Kagha, so they approached the little room the two were in (a library of sorts, judging by all the books about). Zevlor greeted them with “I heard what happened. Thank you for protecting the child” before noting that “If the druids are this far gone, then it’s not just goblins we have to fear. So we can risk violence here or face it for certain on the road. Quite the choice, isn’t it?” Smiler, feeling sorry for them, asked “Can you delay the ritual?” but Zevlor pointed out that they’d seen what the group was willing to do to a child who tried –
Before angrily adding that “It’s Kagha’s influence. Without her twisting things, I believe the druids might see sense.” Uh – I’m not sure I believe that, buddy. Findal seemed pretty racist all on his own! I had Smiler ask why he didn’t try to get rid of Kagha then, to which Zevlor replied that it was a low thought – but it was definitely one that he’d had. But he knew that they’d never get close enough to actually do anything without getting taken out by the other druids –
Before noting that the druids had already let Smiler and company pass once. Hinting that he’d really like Smiler to commit the murder for him –
But, well. As that came up, I started to rethink my choices in this conversation. Was Smiler REALLY the sort to actually say “why don’t you just take her out?” They’re much more the diplomatic sort. Like, maybe they did want to kill Kagha, but – as one of the dialogue options stated, they were not a murderer for hire! Fortunately, I’d quicksaved right before the conversation, so all I had to do was quickly reload that save, and redo the conversation! Which actually got me another cute convo between Zevlor and Tilses before Smiler approached to say hi – Tilses asking Zevlor “The Watch or The Flaming Fist?” and then clarifying she wanted to know where they were enlisting when they reached Baldur’s Gate when Zevlor was like “?” Zevlor replied that his soldiering days were done, and that he wanted a fresh start in the city – but then encouraged Tilses to go for the Watch, as she was too honest to be a mercenary. XD I do like the tieflings, they’re fun.
Anyway – with that sorted, I had Smiler approach and redid the convo – and THIS time, when Zevlor started complaining about Kagha’s influence, I had them say, “You need to cut your losses and run. I’ll help.” Zevlor thanked them for the offer, but pointed out “there’s a whole army of goblins out there. We’d need an army of our own to escort us safely to Baldur’s Gate, and while I don’t doubt your abilities...you’re no army.” Fortunately, he had an idea on a way to stop the goblins and allow the tieflings to leave safely – kill whoever was leading the goblins! According to him, “Goblins are ill-disciplined – it’s unlike them to organize so cleverly. Somebody must be leading them, bringing discipline to their ranks. Take out the leadership and they’ll scatter.” He then admitted that “It’s no small thing to ask, but...I’ve seen you fight. You’re equal to the task.” Smiler thought you’ve seen my FRIENDS fight, not me but said, “Kill the goblin horde’s leaders? I’ll see what I can do.” Getting a bit of disapproval from Astarion but some nice approval from Gale and Wyll, yay. Zevlor thanked them, telling them everyone in the camp depended on their success, and saying the group would be ready to leave as soon as they gave the word. That – will be a while, Zevlor, but I promise Smiler and their friends will help protect you and get you back on your journey!
And so the session ended with Smiler and company hanging out in Zevlor’s room, having just agreed to try and kill the hoard leaders! Next time – well, I’ll probably start by having Smiler read the readable books in Zevlor’s chamber (as reading is allowed, even if picking them up isn’t), but my main focus is going to be on finding Karlach. Time to add the final member to the Act 1 party already! And helping her out should provide some good XP too…
FreeTube: Welp, finally managed to catch up on the latest “retelling of a fairy tale/myth by the CaFae Latte cast” by C. M. Alongi after Game Night tonight (Trivial Pursuit – Mom won, though it was pretty close) – “CaFae Tales: Eros & Psyche!” AKA “Chris realizes that the perfect way to promote the Kickstarter for her new book, Monstrous, is to have the CaFae Latte crew cover the myth she’s rewriting.” XD Here’s the recap, since I know at least Gigs likes those:
A) JC kicking things off by going to the Sphynx to ask her a riddle – “what the fuck do I get my awesome girlfriend as a present when she’s very particular about her art supplies and already owns loads of books?” (Sphynx: “That is the worst riddle I’ve ever heard.” XD) Bob rapidly sussed out that they were stressing about Valentine’s Day coming up, and JC admitted that while they generally kept things low-key for the holiday, they just like giving Nicole presents.
B) The Sphynx protesting Bob’s suggestion that JC give Nicole a “blind date with a book” subscription focusing on romance books by saying modern romance sucks and that you can’t beat the classics like Eros and Psyche – cue JC going “who?” and then admitting they slept through their English classes, with Bob adding that, even if that hadn’t been the case, did they REALLY have any faith in the American public education system anymore? The Sphynx admitted they didn’t. XD
C) The Sphynx setting up the story – Psyche, the youngest daughter of a Greek King, is so beautiful that the people start worshiping her as the Goddess of Beauty and neglecting Aphrodite; Aphrodite getting pissed at this and sending her son Eros (better known to most people, like JC, as Cupid) down to make her fall in love with someone or something horrible to make her suffer, only for HIM to go “oh no she’s hot” (and, as per Bob, possibly prick himself on his own golden love arrows) and fall in love with her; and the king asking Psyche why she’s blue (“everyone treats me like an object and doesn’t care what I have to say” “ah teenagers so angsty”) before going to the Oracle to ask who she should marry –
And JC stopping the story to ask why he’s talking marriage when they just established Psyche is a teenager. Cue Bob having to explain that upper-class Greek girls were considered marriage-ready once they started menstruating, no matter how young that was. The Sphynx tried to argue that Psyche had to be about fifteen or sixteen, not younger, but – yeah. *shudder* JC was very grossed out and pointed out predators would be swarming over poor Psyche in real life, to the point that her father would have to beat them off with a stick. Sphynx tried to argue that people saw Psyche as an object, not a person, but then immediately agreed with JC that that just made things worse and instead argued that Greek myths were just unrealistic.
D) The King getting a prophecy from the oracle at Delphi that Psyche would marry a monster and that he needed to dump her on a cliffside for said monster to pick her up, and returning in tears to explain the matter – cue Psyche telling him “well, that’s what your hubris in letting people worship me as a goddess when I wasn’t one gets all of us, dump me on the cliff so I can meet my new husband and get away from you.” JC was very pleased by this until Bob warned them it was her one good act of rebellion.
E) Psyche getting left on the cliff and then getting whisked away to a golden palace in a valley, staffed with invisible servants, and “marrying” Eros by consummating the marriage with him that night when she couldn’t see his face, with him refusing to tell her his name in the bargain (JC was again creeped out), and things continuing in that vein until Psyche pleaded with her invisible, nameless husband to let her older sisters visit so she could prove to them she wasn’t dead; he reluctantly agreed, though warned her not to tell them anything about him. JC immediately was like “domestic abusers have the same rules! Isn’t that funny?”
F) Psyche having what she thinks is a nice visit with her sisters, happily lying that her husband is a scruffy young hunter and giving them some of the spare jewelry he’s gifted her – only for said sisters to end up extremely jealous because they can tell her palace was built by a god, and they firmly believe that Psyche is going to end up a goddess because she’s always been the favorite and lucky one, while they’re stuck with super-old mortal husbands. And thus deciding to take her down a peg. Toxic family is toxic!
G) Psyche, cheerfully oblivious to her sisters’ scheming, asking her husband for another visit, and him going “I’ve got a bad feeling about this...okay, but you can’t listen to whatever your sisters say, and you have to be really carefully, especially since you’re pregnant now.” Cue Psyche being like “what” –
And JC also being like “what,” especially when Bob tells them the EXTREMELY CREEPY version of the line where he says “though you are still a child, you shall soon have a child.” *shudders* Poor JC looked like they wanted to throw up, while Sphynx was like “yeaaaah, anyone who says morality was different back then was fooling themselves.” Ew.
H) The sisters visiting again and – after getting Psyche to tell them a contradictory backstory for her husband in response to one of their questions (claiming he’s now a merchant who comes from “all over”) – tricking her into thinking that she might have married a (fictional) monstrous snake who’s supposedly been terrifying all the farmers in the area, and giving her a knife to cut off his head with. Bob was immediately like “the neck has too many bones, tendons, and muscles for a KNIFE to get through; you need a sword or axe.” Good to know?
I) Psyche sneaking into Eros’s room at night with her blade and an oil lamp, and immediately realizing that she’s not married to a monstrous snake, but instead a fine god-boy (possibly pricking her finger on one of his golden arrows as well) – unfortunately for her, she spills some oil on his arm and burns him, and he’s so pissed off to learn that she listened to her sisters and “betrayed his trust” that he immediately leaves her. JC is like “he ditches his pregnant wife?!” –
And the Sphynx admits that it’s a little worse than that – he ditches his pregnant depressed wife who tried to kill herself twice – once with the knife when she realized he was a hot god (the knife, however, refused to stab her), and once by jumping in a river when he left her (the river gently spat her out again because it respected Eros too much to drown his bride). JC was DEEPLY unimpressed – Bob was like “well, we must take responsibility for our own mental health, but yeah, they both handled that poorly.”
J) Psyche getting her own back at her sisters by wandering into their respective cities, telling them that her husband had been Eros the god, and had ordered her out of his house and divorced her for her crime of trying to find out who he was...and then saying that he’d then said he would marry the sister she was talking to instead. Cue both sisters going to the cliffside and jumping off, expecting Zephyr, God of the West Wind, to catch them and take them to the palace...and both dying horribly while Zephyr watched on sipping his drink. JC was absolutely delighted by this manipulative bitchy behavior – seems Psyche had TWO good moments during this whole story!
K) Aphrodite, pissed off that Eros first married the woman she wanted punished instead of actually punishing her, then came crying to her when Psyche broke his heart by peeping in on him, THEN couldn’t even tell her where Psyche was because she left the palace, storming off to try and send out a message to all mortals that she wanted to know where Psyche was so she could have her vengeance – she tried to get Hera and Demeter to help, but they demurred (Hera because the marriage between Eros and Psyche was legal; Demeter because Aphrodite should “know the needs of men” and not try to stifle them in her son). Aphrodite then went storming off to Hermes to get HIM to send the message –
And Demeter and Hera confirmed to each other than they actually didn’t give a SHIT about Eros or Psyche, they just didn’t want Eros using his golden love arrows on them (or, in Hera’s case, Zeus). JC declared that, if this was one of those “am I the asshole” threads on Reddit, everyone would be declared an asshole and told they should all get therapy.
L) Psyche continuing to wander Greece and trying to get the help of Demeter and Hera at their temples (doing some cleaning at the former to try and earn brownie points), only for them to refuse because Aphrodite had earned her vengeance – and with nowhere else to turn, deciding to just turn herself in at one of Aphrodite’s temples in the hope that she could calm her down (especially after hearing Hermes’s message announcing the manhunt). JC was like “that will not go well,” and the Sphynx was like “it did not.”
M) Aphrodite happily having her servants Anxiety and Grief torment Psyche for a while, then setting her a series of supposedly-impossible tasks to prove she was “worthy” of her son (while keeping said son locked up to prevent him from trying to talk to her – JC was like “he’s still an asshole”) – each one making Psyche depressed and suicidal until something else decided to intervene and do it for her:
I. Task One – Separate a bunch of mixed-up spilled seeds into separate piles; while Psyche stared at them, a passing ant was like “aw, she’s sad” and got a bunch of their ant buddies to help sort the seeds
II. Task Two: Get a hank of golden wool off a bunch of carnivorous sheep on a nearby island; Psyche considered drowning herself in the river, but a nymph (or a sentient reed, but Chris didn’t have a costume for THAT) asked her NOT to do that as she hated cleaning up the bodies and instead told Psyche to just wait until nightfall, when the sheep calmed down and went to sleep, then gather the wool caught on the nearby thorny bushes to make the hank
III. Task Three: Get a cup of water from the source of the river Styx up a huge and treacherous mountain guarded by dragons (JC was excited until Bob clarified they weren’t dragons like Rethu, but dumb flightless animals); Psyche debated dying by dragon or falling off a cliff until an eagle swooped down and took the cup up to the river’s source for her, explaining that Eros had been useful in the kidnapping of “Ganymede” – JC was like “will I regret asking who ‘Ganymede’ is” and the Sphynx reluctantly explained he’d been a beautiful Trojan abducted by Zeus to be his lover and cupbearer. JC decided they appreciated that Zeus was a disaster bisexual but demanded to know if there were any functional relationships in Greek Mythology; Bob’s response was “by relative standards, Hades and Persephone” (JC: “Didn’t he kidnap her too?” Bob: “Why I said ‘relatively’”)
N) A frustrated Aphrodite setting Psyche (who was expecting a “rule of three” situation) Task Four: Go to the Underworld and get Persephone to loan Aphrodite some of her beauty for a day (by putting it in a magic box) so she could appear on Olympus in full glory instead of looking stressed from all this bullshit. This time Psyche tried to kill herself in the belief that it was the only way she could get down there, but the tower she climbed turned sentient to tell her how to get to the Underworld, and to bring coins for Charon and honey-cakes for Cerberus (JC was like, “Yay, three-headed pupper,” which annoyed the Sphynx, because, you know, CAT XD). Psyche thus made it to Persephone, who put SOMETHING in the box for Aphrodite –
But on the way back, Psyche noticed she was looking pretty ragged from all her wandering and decided to peek in the box to get a little divine beauty for herself. Thus discovering that Persephone had ACTUALLY rigged the box to send whoever opened it into a Stygian sleep (aka either a coma or actual death). JC promptly said “this is why you keep your nose out of other people’s business.” XD
O) Eros finally escaping his confinement, finding Psyche and waking her up, asking her if she’d learned her lesson about her curiosity (Psyche, embarrassed: “Yes”), then telling her to finish her task while he handled everything else and going to Zeus to ask for a favor – JC was very annoyed to learn that favor was NOT “give my girlfriend a wonderful life away from our toxic asses,” saying that Eros had NO moral high ground given he never trusted Psyche with any information and didn’t apologize for abandoning her while she was pregnant and betraying her to Aphrodite. Bob reminded JC that this was made in Greek times, when women were expected to obey their fathers, and then their husbands, unthinkingly, and that this fact was crucial to understand the “happy ending” – JC just scoffed in disgust.
P) Zeus being like “you constantly shoot me with golden arrows to make me cheat on my wife, cause problems for all of us on a regular basis, and now you want me to help you remarry your mortal girlfriend, pissing off your mother? And you also expect me NOT to sleep with her?” – only for Eros to point out Zeus never needed his help to cheat, and Zeus being sufficiently impressed by his moxie to grant the favor (warning Eros that he DID owe him big-time, though, and that he expected an introduction to the NEXT most-beautiful woman on earth); cue Zeus throwing a giant wedding and threatening the gods with horrific fines if they didn’t attend (JC: “Oh, I love when my wedding invitations come with threats”), and making Psyche immortal via nectar to make the marriage one between equals, stating that Eros could now never fly away from her arms, but must remain her lawful wedded husband forever. As you might imagine, everyone gave him a “really? YOU’RE saying that” look. XD
Q) JC complaining that the myth should have ended with the two getting divorced very quickly because no relationship could survive that drama, and the Sphynx going “it’s a METAPHOR, it’s supposed to be about how the soul – Psyche – must be purified through anxiety and grief and trial before it can accept and be accepted by romantic and erotic love – Eros. And through that union you get joy, aka their son Hedone. JC’s response was that maybe they were a dumb American, but if the story involved people, they should act like and face consequences like PEOPLE.
R) And the video wrapping up with Bob oh-so-subtly mentioning that someone rewrote the myth so that Psyche was more intelligent and emotionally stable (and into witchcraft) and Eros much more respectful of her wishes and autonomy, and that the book had a Kickstarter going on now to secure the funds for stuff like editors and a cover artist that would run through March 1st, and if all went well, the book would be out next year.
...JC gleefully replied “all I heard is this is a book Nicole is guaranteed not to have,” and Bob gave the audience an aside glance over the message directing them to the Kickstarter link in the description. XD
Whew! Long one this week – but still a lot of fun, I must say. MAN the original version of that myth is creepy – I am sure Chris’s version will be a lot better and less “ick” to modern audiences!
...and it's past 2 AM here, so I will have to complete this entry tomorrow. Because after a certain point it gets very hard for me to concentrate on what I feel I should be doing. *facepalm* Have the unspaced version of the BG3 and CaFae Tales stuff below -- I'll fix that and fill in the other two things I did later! EDIT 2/8/2026: The BG3 and CaFae Tales sections have been properly spaced out, and I've added the missing Writing and Tumblr sections for your perusal:
Writing: It took a little longer than I anticipated (mainly because I always seem to have more end-of-chapter notes than I anticipate, and I struggled a bit with coming up with a chapter title), but I did indeed post Chapter 3 of “The Van Dort Vacancy” today! AKA the brief POV flip back to Alice so we can see what she and Smiler got up to while they were separated from Victor, and so I could introduce Kasimir, the other Oxventure Presents: Blades In The Dark character I’m borrowing for this. I quite enjoyed writing this, especially the scenes of chaos in the Van Dort kitchen and Alice and Smiler’s reactions to the Van Dort aquarium greenhouse – I hope you all enjoy it too!
Tumblr: It was another dead quiet day over on Valice Multiverse, but while I didn’t get a chance to work on any Valicertine’s stuff over on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler), I did at least make a post promoting the new chapter of “The Van Dort Vacancy” over there! ...though I had to wait until after I’d played BG3 (below), because the formatting for “Link” posts kept breaking. *sigh* Tumblr is a functional web site...but yeah, that went up, and at the very least thesatiricaldemon was nice enough to reblog it, so...something!
Baldur’s Gate III: Today’s return to Faerûn consisted mostly of an afternoon – or, for the characters, an evening – full of cutscenes! With Smiler learning a bit more about their companions and possibly getting hit on by a couple of them. Oh, and they finally progressed one of the main quests too, at the very end. XD Let me tell you all about it:
A) I picked up where I left off at the end of my last session – with the gang all hanging out in the Wilderness camp, having helped Pandirna, offloaded more weapons on Dammon, and had a bit of trouble opening their various containers so Smiler could dye their new cloak. Accordingly, after everything popped back into existence, I had Smiler quickly open the camp chest and some of the various containers in their inventory to confirm everything was kosher with them – fortunately, all the inventory pop-ups appeared without a problem. *whew* Did not need that bug rearing its ugly head again! I then had Smiler do a bit of alchemy, creating an antidote (never know when you might need one of those – sadly, they crit-failed the Medicine check, so they didn’t get a spare) and grinding up some Rogue’s Morsels into salts, before sending them wandering toward the center of camp as I pondered whether or not I wanted to send the gang out again or have them long rest. Which did afford them an excellent opportunity to watch Lae’zel sharpening her sword, at least:
I do like the idle animations some of the characters do in camp – Lae’zel’s in particular seem so her. :p
Anyway, I took a moment and thought hard about what I wanted to do, considering such things like “the gang does still have one short rest left, might be a shame to waste it” and “well, Gale can restore his final Level I spell slot with that Arcane Charge of his, but Shadowheart is looking a little drained of magic” and “Astarion IS missing a few hit points, but, again, have a short rest in hand, so that can be pretty easily fixed” –
And finally going, “Screw it, I got that ‘Camp Events Overhaul’ mod for a reason – let’s have the party long rest and see what cutscenes I get that I might not have gotten otherwise.” I thus clicked the campfire and confirmed that I would like to end the day –
And, almost the moment day transitioned into night, I got a cutscene! One featuring Shadowheart sitting on the ground by the fire with her back to everyone, fiddling with the mysterious artefact that she took from her pod on the ship and muttering, “Damn thing...it has to open, surely. It has to do something.” Smiler noticed this and wandered over for a bit of a look – sadly, they failed the passive Arcana check to figure out what the glyphs on the sides were. They then asked Shadowheart what she had there –
Only for her to instantly hide the box (I’m not sure where, given how skin-tight her casual camp clothes are) and scramble awkwardly to her feet, going, “It’s nothing, trust me. Beautiful evening, isn’t it?” I considered having Smiler allow her to change the subject –
But decided, no, they’d be too curious at this point, and instead had them gently press her with, “Why are you so keen to dodge questions about that thing?” Which got them a guilty look from Shadowheart and an admission that “You deserve honesty more than most…” followed by a “but please, don’t ask.” She looked so sad that Smiler caved and said, “All right, I can respect that. But if you want to talk, I’m here.” Shadowheart admitted that might not be anytime soon, but thanked them, just the same. A nice, surprisingly tender moment between them –
That was, uh, slightly ruined by Gale creeping on the pair in the background. XD See for yourselves:
He was so interested in hearing what they had to say! Sorry, Gale, that’s between Smiler and Shadowheart – and besides, the artefact is one of the magical objects you are very much not allowed to eat.
B) With the business with Shadowheart sorted, I expected to return to the game proper, to see who had a “!” over their head and thus a special little scene for Smiler – but to my surprise, the game instead catapulted me into another cutscene – this one a solo feature just for Smiler, with them hanging out by the campfire and smiling into the distance as the narrator, well, narrated their thoughts: “The dark clouds of your imagination part, and a speck of hope shines through. A goblin priestess seems an unlikely ally, but you have faith she can destroy the tadpole in your brain. A smile threatens to curl your lip. A cure is on the horizon. Soon, you’ll be rid of this tadpole for good.” Nothing particularly special, but it was nice to get – it seems like the kind of cutscene that normally only pops up if you’re on a solo run! Plus, we got a cute Smiler face out of it:
I will always consider their Sims 4 look their “canonical” look, but I’ve grown fairly fond of their BG3 look as well, I must admit.
C) Anyway – with that extra cutscene over with, it was time to go around camp and see who wanted to chat with Smiler – which ended up being everyone except for Gale! Which I guess makes sense, Gale and Smiler have chatting a lot during the adventure itself, so there’s less need for them to have special camp scenes together. I thus had Smiler make the rounds, starting with Astarion since he was the closest and didn’t get a special scene in the Ruins camp – here’s how each conversation went:
Astarion – Smiler approached their still-won’t-admit-he’s-a-vampire-yet companion to find him lying on a bedroll, stargazing. He greeted them with “It’s quite a sight,” before clarifying, “The stars, I mean. I could take or leave your chin.” XD Smiler agreed that the stars were beautiful, and Astarion continued on with “I can see the stars from Baldur’s Gate, of course, but not with such clarity. It got me thinking. Reflecting on what tomorrow might bring, when we meet this goblin priestess. Will she know how to bring the worm under control? Will this little adventure of ours be over?” Smiler, wanting to lighten the mood, lightly teased Astarion with a “What? Will you miss me?” –
And Astarion laughed, going “Why not?” as he got to his feet. “You’ve been to the Hells and back. Survived the crash. Survived everything that’s followed. I’m not easily impressed by people, but you’re stronger than I gave you credit for.” Which was very nice of him to say, yes –
But also kind of threw me, because, uh, I’m pretty sure Astarion currently has the lowest approval of Smiler’s cheerful do-gooder nature (Lae’zel’s down there too, but Smiler earned some brownie points with her by letting her bully that guard for information on the githyanki patrol). O.o I refrained from having Smiler admit they thought Astarion didn’t like them, though, instead going for “I’m just trying to survive. Like you.” Astarion agreed, murmuring “we’re more similar than I thought…”
While looking very soulfully at Smiler. Or, perhaps, their neck. XD Smiler, now slightly confused (and wondering if Astarion was maybe flirting with them – I mean, Smiler, one of the other dialogue options you could have chosen before included you mentioning you have many talents and subtly hinting that he could pursue them if he wished, so the game certainly assumed there was something going on) asked, “Are you feeling all right?” –
And Astarion snapped out of it, admitting, “Oh, I was leagues away. I just need to…” [significant pause] “...get some air. Clear my head,” before assuring Smiler that they’d see each other later and telling them to “sleep tight.” XD Yeah, uh, this may not have been Astarion flirting so much as Astarion being thirsty. :P But still!
Wyll: Approaching their fellow warlock sent a tingle straight through Smiler’s body – though this wasn’t anything romantic, sadly, just their tadpole reaching out to Wyll’s. Wyll acknowledged that he felt the shiver too, commenting, “Our little brain-worms have made fast friends, it would seem,” before asking Smiler how they felt. After considering their options, Smiler assured Wyll they felt “Confident. No tiny tadpole will be getting the best of me.” Wyll admiringly replied, “Courage in danger’s shadow. I love to see it” –
Before adding in confusion, “But shouldn’t the shadow have crept closer, gone darker by now?” He continued that, “Before the illithid’s unscheduled surgery, I’d felled hundreds of beasts and a fair few fiends. The tadpole’s weakened me, suppressed greater talents. But beyond that – I’ve shown no sign of turning. No nausea, no pain, not even a hot flash.” Smiler, thinking it over, suggested, “Something’s special about us. Or, at least, about our tadpoles” –
And Wyll agreed, sending a bit of approval Smiler’s way as he responded, “Indeed. Perhaps the worms’ vat was poisoned. Perhaps we’re uncommonly fit.” (Smiler, to themselves, admiring Wyll’s figure: “You certainly are.” XD) “Or perhaps the tadpoles are merely on holiday.” He then admitted, “We could conjecture all night. I suppose the ‘why’ doesn’t matter so much as the ‘what next.’ And that answer is plain as the horns on a wardevil’s head: we get these things out,” before ending things by encouraging them to get some rest, as dawn would show up sooner than they thought. *nods* Nice – this is one of the big cutscenes I was worried I’d miss (as it’s easily canceled by meeting Karlach and thus triggering Mizora to show up for the first time), so it was great to see it. And to get a bit of extra Wyll approval in the process. :)
Lae’zel: Our local grumpy githyanki greeted Smiler when they wandered over with “A fine evening, don’t you think?” following it up with the surprisingly poetic “The moonlight shines warmly on us. The breeze caresses our faces.” I was starting to wonder if she was feeling okay, or preparing to have her own weird flirt with Smiler –
And then she declared it all “hideous” and complained that she’d rather be “doing battle up there, among the Tears.” Ah, there’s the Lae’zel we know and maybe love. XD Smiler, curious, asked, “What do you mean by ‘the Tears?’” prompting her to tell them, “Look above. Watch the moon cross the sky. The Tears follow behind it. Rocky bodies tumbling through the Sea of Night. One of them is my creche: K’liir.” So I guess the moon has its own little sub-moons or asteroids following it in this universe? That’s kinda cool, I like it. :) Smiler, now very intrigued, inquired, “Are all githyanki from the Tears?” –
And, to my surprise, Lae’zel looked surprised that Smiler wanted to know more, telling them that “Your curiosity is to be commended.” I guess she didn’t expect them to actually want to know more about her people! She then informed them that “Githyanki are hatched in creches all throughout Realmspace. K’liir is one of many,” before reminiscing – “It’s there I first saw a kith’rak mount a red dragon. Where I slit my cousins’ throats at the varsh’s command.” ...sounds like a fun place! *grimacing* Man, githyanki culture is fucked up...fortunately, she decided that Smiler was wasting their resting time and wrapped up things before telling them about more potential atrocities she committed, informing them, “Come dawn, we resume our search for a creche.” Sorry, Lae’zel, but that will actually be coming later in the playthrough – I promise we will go to one eventually, though! At least it gives you plenty of time to practice fighting mind flayers on your dummy:
Shadowheart: And God’s Favorite Princess playfully said, “The leader of the pack comes to chat” once Smiler wandered over to her area of the camp (she actually has her tent on the opposite side from everyone else’s – probably to make it easier to stop anyone going through her stuff) before continuing with “What’s on your mind? You must be pleased to have a clear path forward. The sooner we find this ‘Priestess Gut,’ the better. I can’t wait to get rid of this thing in my head.” Trust me, Shadowheart, Smiler felt the same. Curious, they asked what would come next once this was all over and they were free –
Only to get “Head to Baldur’s Gate. Someone’s waiting for me.” Which, well, was a conversation they’d already had, and thus Smiler knew she wasn’t going to divulge who was waiting anytime soon. So instead they changed the subject and asked how she was feeling. She let them know she was feeling “The same. These parasites are proving suspiciously benign” –
Before asking, “But suppose I turn...what would you do?” I agonized for a bit over what Smiler would be likely to say, and settled on “Maybe I could leave you tied up while I hunted for a cure,” as the kindest option –
And Shadowheart immediately replied, “Really? I’d just kill you.” Gee, thanks, Shadowheart. And then she followed that up with “Anyway, get some rest. Try not to dream about tying me up,” delivered with a smirk. XD Oh Shadowheart...I guess Smiler kind of deserved that. XD
And with that, it was time for the gang to hit the sack! Smiler thus trimmed the party down to just four people (to comply with the game’s demands that they obey the vanilla game party limit before trying to rest), used a supply sack to provide everyone with dinner, then bedded down for the night...accompanied by one final cutscene of Astarion sneaking away into the darkness, unnoticed by the others. Well, he did say that he needed to “get some air” – I suspect we’ll be finding the results of that sooner or later!
D) And with that, morning came! Everyone got back in their regular armor, and Smiler restored the party’s normal composition with the help of the custom spell my expanded party mod gives me for just such a purpose. While doing so, I also happened to notice something interesting – namely, that the little sleeping area around the campfire looks different in the morning than it does any other time you visit! Most of the time there’s four bedrolls laid out for Tav and some of their companions to sleep on – but in the morning, those bedrolls are rolled up next to backpacks and such, as if the owners packed them up for traveling purposes. There’s even signs of one of the companions making breakfast at one of them, with a skillet sitting next to one roll – given Gale is canonically the camp cook, that roll must be his then. XD It was just a neat little bit of detail – here, see for yourself:
(Why yes, I did go a little heavy on the screenshots this session; what of it?)
Anyway! As it was morning, it was time for The Morning Magic Routine – namely:
I. Smiler casting False Life (courtesy of their Eldritch Invocations) and Speak With Animals (courtesy of their Amulet of Lost Voices) on themselves
II. Wyll casting False Life (courtesy of his Eldritch Invocations) on himself, and binding his rapier to him as his pact weapon as per his Warlock Pact Of The Blade (meaning it now inflicts magical damage, uses his Charisma modifier for attack and damage rolls, and makes sure Wyll is proficient with it – also, it cannot be dropped or thrown, which means Wyll isn't getting disarmed anytime soon)
III. Gale casting Longstrider on himself and everyone else in the party, since he could do so for free so long as they weren’t in combat (which involved a lot of running around as he had to be close to his targets)
*nods* Gotta be prepared for the adventures ahead! I then had Smiler speak quickly to Astarion, to see if he had any interesting morning dialogue – unfortunately, all he responded with was a “Yes?” and all Smiler could respond with was either a request he stay in camp or an end to the conversation. Meh. Smiler thus ended the conversation –
E) And the party headed back to the Hollow and their adventures! First of which was to figure out where the big stone door at the other side of the Hollow from the makeshift prison, near where Aradin and his fellows were drinking. I thus had Smiler and the other step through –
And on the other side, they were greeted with the Secluded Chamber! A very druidy place with plants, dirt, and a couple of bear states (one regular, one broken) on either side of the path. Ahead of the group was a little round building of sorts with a camp next to it – and approaching it allowed them to overhear part of a conversation about scouts trying to find their way past the goblins. Curious, I panned forward to see who was in there –
And found Zevlor! Chatting with Tilses, another tiefling and apparently a friend of his. As I watched, they got into a little argument about Tilses calling him “Commander,” with him insisting she call him by his name, as they were civilians now. Tilses tried to insist that “being a Hellrider is for life” and that “they” couldn’t take that from them – but Zevlor insisted they could and did, and that Avernus changed a lot of things, and they had to get used to it. Causing her to reluctantly agree and call him “Zevlor.” Aw. These poor tieflings – they have had a rough life. :( I was a bit loathe to interrupt their conversation, honestly –
But, well, Smiler did actually need to talk to Zevlor in the wake of the incident with Kagha, so they approached the little room the two were in (a library of sorts, judging by all the books about). Zevlor greeted them with “I heard what happened. Thank you for protecting the child” before noting that “If the druids are this far gone, then it’s not just goblins we have to fear. So we can risk violence here or face it for certain on the road. Quite the choice, isn’t it?” Smiler, feeling sorry for them, asked “Can you delay the ritual?” but Zevlor pointed out that they’d seen what the group was willing to do to a child who tried –
Before angrily adding that “It’s Kagha’s influence. Without her twisting things, I believe the druids might see sense.” Uh – I’m not sure I believe that, buddy. Findal seemed pretty racist all on his own! I had Smiler ask why he didn’t try to get rid of Kagha then, to which Zevlor replied that it was a low thought – but it was definitely one that he’d had. But he knew that they’d never get close enough to actually do anything without getting taken out by the other druids –
Before noting that the druids had already let Smiler and company pass once. Hinting that he’d really like Smiler to commit the murder for him –
But, well. As that came up, I started to rethink my choices in this conversation. Was Smiler REALLY the sort to actually say “why don’t you just take her out?” They’re much more the diplomatic sort. Like, maybe they did want to kill Kagha, but – as one of the dialogue options stated, they were not a murderer for hire! Fortunately, I’d quicksaved right before the conversation, so all I had to do was quickly reload that save, and redo the conversation! Which actually got me another cute convo between Zevlor and Tilses before Smiler approached to say hi – Tilses asking Zevlor “The Watch or The Flaming Fist?” and then clarifying she wanted to know where they were enlisting when they reached Baldur’s Gate when Zevlor was like “?” Zevlor replied that his soldiering days were done, and that he wanted a fresh start in the city – but then encouraged Tilses to go for the Watch, as she was too honest to be a mercenary. XD I do like the tieflings, they’re fun.
Anyway – with that sorted, I had Smiler approach and redid the convo – and THIS time, when Zevlor started complaining about Kagha’s influence, I had them say, “You need to cut your losses and run. I’ll help.” Zevlor thanked them for the offer, but pointed out “there’s a whole army of goblins out there. We’d need an army of our own to escort us safely to Baldur’s Gate, and while I don’t doubt your abilities...you’re no army.” Fortunately, he had an idea on a way to stop the goblins and allow the tieflings to leave safely – kill whoever was leading the goblins! According to him, “Goblins are ill-disciplined – it’s unlike them to organize so cleverly. Somebody must be leading them, bringing discipline to their ranks. Take out the leadership and they’ll scatter.” He then admitted that “It’s no small thing to ask, but...I’ve seen you fight. You’re equal to the task.” Smiler thought you’ve seen my FRIENDS fight, not me but said, “Kill the goblin horde’s leaders? I’ll see what I can do.” Getting a bit of disapproval from Astarion but some nice approval from Gale and Wyll, yay. Zevlor thanked them, telling them everyone in the camp depended on their success, and saying the group would be ready to leave as soon as they gave the word. That – will be a while, Zevlor, but I promise Smiler and their friends will help protect you and get you back on your journey!
And so the session ended with Smiler and company hanging out in Zevlor’s room, having just agreed to try and kill the hoard leaders! Next time – well, I’ll probably start by having Smiler read the readable books in Zevlor’s chamber (as reading is allowed, even if picking them up isn’t), but my main focus is going to be on finding Karlach. Time to add the final member to the Act 1 party already! And helping her out should provide some good XP too…
FreeTube: Welp, finally managed to catch up on the latest “retelling of a fairy tale/myth by the CaFae Latte cast” by C. M. Alongi after Game Night tonight (Trivial Pursuit – Mom won, though it was pretty close) – “CaFae Tales: Eros & Psyche!” AKA “Chris realizes that the perfect way to promote the Kickstarter for her new book, Monstrous, is to have the CaFae Latte crew cover the myth she’s rewriting.” XD Here’s the recap, since I know at least Gigs likes those:
A) JC kicking things off by going to the Sphynx to ask her a riddle – “what the fuck do I get my awesome girlfriend as a present when she’s very particular about her art supplies and already owns loads of books?” (Sphynx: “That is the worst riddle I’ve ever heard.” XD) Bob rapidly sussed out that they were stressing about Valentine’s Day coming up, and JC admitted that while they generally kept things low-key for the holiday, they just like giving Nicole presents.
B) The Sphynx protesting Bob’s suggestion that JC give Nicole a “blind date with a book” subscription focusing on romance books by saying modern romance sucks and that you can’t beat the classics like Eros and Psyche – cue JC going “who?” and then admitting they slept through their English classes, with Bob adding that, even if that hadn’t been the case, did they REALLY have any faith in the American public education system anymore? The Sphynx admitted they didn’t. XD
C) The Sphynx setting up the story – Psyche, the youngest daughter of a Greek King, is so beautiful that the people start worshiping her as the Goddess of Beauty and neglecting Aphrodite; Aphrodite getting pissed at this and sending her son Eros (better known to most people, like JC, as Cupid) down to make her fall in love with someone or something horrible to make her suffer, only for HIM to go “oh no she’s hot” (and, as per Bob, possibly prick himself on his own golden love arrows) and fall in love with her; and the king asking Psyche why she’s blue (“everyone treats me like an object and doesn’t care what I have to say” “ah teenagers so angsty”) before going to the Oracle to ask who she should marry –
And JC stopping the story to ask why he’s talking marriage when they just established Psyche is a teenager. Cue Bob having to explain that upper-class Greek girls were considered marriage-ready once they started menstruating, no matter how young that was. The Sphynx tried to argue that Psyche had to be about fifteen or sixteen, not younger, but – yeah. *shudder* JC was very grossed out and pointed out predators would be swarming over poor Psyche in real life, to the point that her father would have to beat them off with a stick. Sphynx tried to argue that people saw Psyche as an object, not a person, but then immediately agreed with JC that that just made things worse and instead argued that Greek myths were just unrealistic.
D) The King getting a prophecy from the oracle at Delphi that Psyche would marry a monster and that he needed to dump her on a cliffside for said monster to pick her up, and returning in tears to explain the matter – cue Psyche telling him “well, that’s what your hubris in letting people worship me as a goddess when I wasn’t one gets all of us, dump me on the cliff so I can meet my new husband and get away from you.” JC was very pleased by this until Bob warned them it was her one good act of rebellion.
E) Psyche getting left on the cliff and then getting whisked away to a golden palace in a valley, staffed with invisible servants, and “marrying” Eros by consummating the marriage with him that night when she couldn’t see his face, with him refusing to tell her his name in the bargain (JC was again creeped out), and things continuing in that vein until Psyche pleaded with her invisible, nameless husband to let her older sisters visit so she could prove to them she wasn’t dead; he reluctantly agreed, though warned her not to tell them anything about him. JC immediately was like “domestic abusers have the same rules! Isn’t that funny?”
F) Psyche having what she thinks is a nice visit with her sisters, happily lying that her husband is a scruffy young hunter and giving them some of the spare jewelry he’s gifted her – only for said sisters to end up extremely jealous because they can tell her palace was built by a god, and they firmly believe that Psyche is going to end up a goddess because she’s always been the favorite and lucky one, while they’re stuck with super-old mortal husbands. And thus deciding to take her down a peg. Toxic family is toxic!
G) Psyche, cheerfully oblivious to her sisters’ scheming, asking her husband for another visit, and him going “I’ve got a bad feeling about this...okay, but you can’t listen to whatever your sisters say, and you have to be really carefully, especially since you’re pregnant now.” Cue Psyche being like “what” –
And JC also being like “what,” especially when Bob tells them the EXTREMELY CREEPY version of the line where he says “though you are still a child, you shall soon have a child.” *shudders* Poor JC looked like they wanted to throw up, while Sphynx was like “yeaaaah, anyone who says morality was different back then was fooling themselves.” Ew.
H) The sisters visiting again and – after getting Psyche to tell them a contradictory backstory for her husband in response to one of their questions (claiming he’s now a merchant who comes from “all over”) – tricking her into thinking that she might have married a (fictional) monstrous snake who’s supposedly been terrifying all the farmers in the area, and giving her a knife to cut off his head with. Bob was immediately like “the neck has too many bones, tendons, and muscles for a KNIFE to get through; you need a sword or axe.” Good to know?
I) Psyche sneaking into Eros’s room at night with her blade and an oil lamp, and immediately realizing that she’s not married to a monstrous snake, but instead a fine god-boy (possibly pricking her finger on one of his golden arrows as well) – unfortunately for her, she spills some oil on his arm and burns him, and he’s so pissed off to learn that she listened to her sisters and “betrayed his trust” that he immediately leaves her. JC is like “he ditches his pregnant wife?!” –
And the Sphynx admits that it’s a little worse than that – he ditches his pregnant depressed wife who tried to kill herself twice – once with the knife when she realized he was a hot god (the knife, however, refused to stab her), and once by jumping in a river when he left her (the river gently spat her out again because it respected Eros too much to drown his bride). JC was DEEPLY unimpressed – Bob was like “well, we must take responsibility for our own mental health, but yeah, they both handled that poorly.”
J) Psyche getting her own back at her sisters by wandering into their respective cities, telling them that her husband had been Eros the god, and had ordered her out of his house and divorced her for her crime of trying to find out who he was...and then saying that he’d then said he would marry the sister she was talking to instead. Cue both sisters going to the cliffside and jumping off, expecting Zephyr, God of the West Wind, to catch them and take them to the palace...and both dying horribly while Zephyr watched on sipping his drink. JC was absolutely delighted by this manipulative bitchy behavior – seems Psyche had TWO good moments during this whole story!
K) Aphrodite, pissed off that Eros first married the woman she wanted punished instead of actually punishing her, then came crying to her when Psyche broke his heart by peeping in on him, THEN couldn’t even tell her where Psyche was because she left the palace, storming off to try and send out a message to all mortals that she wanted to know where Psyche was so she could have her vengeance – she tried to get Hera and Demeter to help, but they demurred (Hera because the marriage between Eros and Psyche was legal; Demeter because Aphrodite should “know the needs of men” and not try to stifle them in her son). Aphrodite then went storming off to Hermes to get HIM to send the message –
And Demeter and Hera confirmed to each other than they actually didn’t give a SHIT about Eros or Psyche, they just didn’t want Eros using his golden love arrows on them (or, in Hera’s case, Zeus). JC declared that, if this was one of those “am I the asshole” threads on Reddit, everyone would be declared an asshole and told they should all get therapy.
L) Psyche continuing to wander Greece and trying to get the help of Demeter and Hera at their temples (doing some cleaning at the former to try and earn brownie points), only for them to refuse because Aphrodite had earned her vengeance – and with nowhere else to turn, deciding to just turn herself in at one of Aphrodite’s temples in the hope that she could calm her down (especially after hearing Hermes’s message announcing the manhunt). JC was like “that will not go well,” and the Sphynx was like “it did not.”
M) Aphrodite happily having her servants Anxiety and Grief torment Psyche for a while, then setting her a series of supposedly-impossible tasks to prove she was “worthy” of her son (while keeping said son locked up to prevent him from trying to talk to her – JC was like “he’s still an asshole”) – each one making Psyche depressed and suicidal until something else decided to intervene and do it for her:
I. Task One – Separate a bunch of mixed-up spilled seeds into separate piles; while Psyche stared at them, a passing ant was like “aw, she’s sad” and got a bunch of their ant buddies to help sort the seeds
II. Task Two: Get a hank of golden wool off a bunch of carnivorous sheep on a nearby island; Psyche considered drowning herself in the river, but a nymph (or a sentient reed, but Chris didn’t have a costume for THAT) asked her NOT to do that as she hated cleaning up the bodies and instead told Psyche to just wait until nightfall, when the sheep calmed down and went to sleep, then gather the wool caught on the nearby thorny bushes to make the hank
III. Task Three: Get a cup of water from the source of the river Styx up a huge and treacherous mountain guarded by dragons (JC was excited until Bob clarified they weren’t dragons like Rethu, but dumb flightless animals); Psyche debated dying by dragon or falling off a cliff until an eagle swooped down and took the cup up to the river’s source for her, explaining that Eros had been useful in the kidnapping of “Ganymede” – JC was like “will I regret asking who ‘Ganymede’ is” and the Sphynx reluctantly explained he’d been a beautiful Trojan abducted by Zeus to be his lover and cupbearer. JC decided they appreciated that Zeus was a disaster bisexual but demanded to know if there were any functional relationships in Greek Mythology; Bob’s response was “by relative standards, Hades and Persephone” (JC: “Didn’t he kidnap her too?” Bob: “Why I said ‘relatively’”)
N) A frustrated Aphrodite setting Psyche (who was expecting a “rule of three” situation) Task Four: Go to the Underworld and get Persephone to loan Aphrodite some of her beauty for a day (by putting it in a magic box) so she could appear on Olympus in full glory instead of looking stressed from all this bullshit. This time Psyche tried to kill herself in the belief that it was the only way she could get down there, but the tower she climbed turned sentient to tell her how to get to the Underworld, and to bring coins for Charon and honey-cakes for Cerberus (JC was like, “Yay, three-headed pupper,” which annoyed the Sphynx, because, you know, CAT XD). Psyche thus made it to Persephone, who put SOMETHING in the box for Aphrodite –
But on the way back, Psyche noticed she was looking pretty ragged from all her wandering and decided to peek in the box to get a little divine beauty for herself. Thus discovering that Persephone had ACTUALLY rigged the box to send whoever opened it into a Stygian sleep (aka either a coma or actual death). JC promptly said “this is why you keep your nose out of other people’s business.” XD
O) Eros finally escaping his confinement, finding Psyche and waking her up, asking her if she’d learned her lesson about her curiosity (Psyche, embarrassed: “Yes”), then telling her to finish her task while he handled everything else and going to Zeus to ask for a favor – JC was very annoyed to learn that favor was NOT “give my girlfriend a wonderful life away from our toxic asses,” saying that Eros had NO moral high ground given he never trusted Psyche with any information and didn’t apologize for abandoning her while she was pregnant and betraying her to Aphrodite. Bob reminded JC that this was made in Greek times, when women were expected to obey their fathers, and then their husbands, unthinkingly, and that this fact was crucial to understand the “happy ending” – JC just scoffed in disgust.
P) Zeus being like “you constantly shoot me with golden arrows to make me cheat on my wife, cause problems for all of us on a regular basis, and now you want me to help you remarry your mortal girlfriend, pissing off your mother? And you also expect me NOT to sleep with her?” – only for Eros to point out Zeus never needed his help to cheat, and Zeus being sufficiently impressed by his moxie to grant the favor (warning Eros that he DID owe him big-time, though, and that he expected an introduction to the NEXT most-beautiful woman on earth); cue Zeus throwing a giant wedding and threatening the gods with horrific fines if they didn’t attend (JC: “Oh, I love when my wedding invitations come with threats”), and making Psyche immortal via nectar to make the marriage one between equals, stating that Eros could now never fly away from her arms, but must remain her lawful wedded husband forever. As you might imagine, everyone gave him a “really? YOU’RE saying that” look. XD
Q) JC complaining that the myth should have ended with the two getting divorced very quickly because no relationship could survive that drama, and the Sphynx going “it’s a METAPHOR, it’s supposed to be about how the soul – Psyche – must be purified through anxiety and grief and trial before it can accept and be accepted by romantic and erotic love – Eros. And through that union you get joy, aka their son Hedone. JC’s response was that maybe they were a dumb American, but if the story involved people, they should act like and face consequences like PEOPLE.
R) And the video wrapping up with Bob oh-so-subtly mentioning that someone rewrote the myth so that Psyche was more intelligent and emotionally stable (and into witchcraft) and Eros much more respectful of her wishes and autonomy, and that the book had a Kickstarter going on now to secure the funds for stuff like editors and a cover artist that would run through March 1st, and if all went well, the book would be out next year.
...JC gleefully replied “all I heard is this is a book Nicole is guaranteed not to have,” and Bob gave the audience an aside glance over the message directing them to the Kickstarter link in the description. XD
Whew! Long one this week – but still a lot of fun, I must say. MAN the original version of that myth is creepy – I am sure Chris’s version will be a lot better and less “ick” to modern audiences!
