Not A Particularly Great Saturday
Mar. 14th, 2026 11:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crossover_chickDad unfortunately had a pretty rough time of it today (feeling tired and queasy much of the day), meaning it was kind of a "bad vibes" day, especially in the morning. :( But I did manage to do everything that I'd hoped to do today despite that:
Tumblr: I didn’t expect to get anything done on tumblr today, I confess – between waking up later than I’d wanted, dealing with Dad not feeling good, and having to spend most of the morning making a fresh batch of granola to eat with my cereal on my days off, it didn’t seem likely that I’d be able to get into my Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts at all. But, fortunately, I was able to sneak in both right before and right after lunch and do a little work on my “VITD” timeline post:
A) Writing up a rough draft of the starting paragraph
B) Adding links to all the posts where I’ve talked about story ideas and to my three posted stories on AO3
C) And adding another story to the “starting line-up” I’ve decided on – the one based on the “When Freedom Calls” quest from Fallout 4, with the gang having to help the local version of Preston Garvey and the Quincy Massacre survivors. Right now, it’s set to happen right after “And There Was Only One Bed,” the story where the trio actually get together as a polycule – we’ll see if I decide if it should go somwhere else later!
Not too shabby, honestly! I’m happy I did get a chance to work on this, even if I didn’t get as much done on it as I’d like – hopefully tomorrow I can accomplish some more!
Baldur’s Gate III: As promised, I returned to Faerûn today to spend some more time with my Tav Smiler and friends, with today’s session consisting of inventory management (everyone’s favorite), an encounter with a devil, everyone talking about the encounter with the devil, and me wrapping up the quest to save Mirkon because the game wouldn’t mark it as done until I talked to Mol again. XD That’s the short version to prove that I can do it – now here’s the long version for your enjoyment –
A) I started out with everyone hanging out at the Wilderness camp, all Longstridered (and in Wyll and Smiler’s case, False Lifed) up and ready to go as per the end of my last session – but before I sent everyone out and about again, I was like, “You know, Smiler has a lot of scrolls in their scroll case that should probably be in GALE’S scroll case so he can scribe them into his spellbook later. And I have to hand out the Oil of Accuracy coatings they have to their friends who are more likely to charge in with melee weapons in the next fight. And maybe give their arrows to Astarion, as he seems to be becoming the archer of the group. Let’s do a bit of inventory management before we leave, shall we?” So I pulled up the “party inventories” screen and did just that! And after going back and forth between all my different party members and splitting item stacks and whatnot, I ended up:
I. Rearranging everyone’s various containers (both vanilla and mod-added “smart” containers) a bit so they were all in the same order: camp supply pack, keyring, alchemy pouch, potion (and elixir) bag, poison (and coatings) satchel, arrow quiver, explosives (and other throwables) box, scroll case, and book backpack. Just makes it easier if everyone has everything in the same order as everyone else!
II. Having Lae’zel hand over the trap disarm toolkit she picked up a little while back to Astarion, since he’s the Rogue and thus our trap disarming expert
III. Having Smiler distribute the three Oil of Accuracy coatings they had in their satchel (they’d picked up one in an earlier stash to go with the two they made at the end of last week’s “replaying a bit to get an extra interaction in the ‘Gale shows Smiler how to channel the Weave’ cutscene” session) between Astarion (for one of his two daggers), Lae’zel (for her greatsword), and Wyll (for his pact-bound rapier), before further giving Astarion the two Basic Poisons they were carrying around (felt most thematically appropriate for the Rogue to have them – maybe he can poison the dagger he doesn’t oil up), along with the Arrow of Ice and two Arrows Of Acid in their quiver (again, he seems to be becoming the archer of the group, so he should have the most special arrows – Lae’zel also has some Arrows of Ice, but I let her keep them for the time being. Never know when someone else will want to pull out a special ranged attack! Plus I think “magic pockets” may make it so Astarion can get at them if he wants during a battle anyway)
IV. Having Smiler then distribute their three scrolls of Burning Hands between Shadowheart (so she didn’t feel left out), Wyll (because it felt thematically appropriate for a Warlock with a Fiend patron), and Gale (because he could take his pick between casting or scribing it), before further giving Gale their scrolls of Ray Of Enfeeblement, Bone Chill, Enlarge, and Colour Spray (again, in case he wanted to scribe any of them), and Astarion their scroll of Grease (because, thanks to Corazon de Ballena from Oxventure, I feel like Rogues and Grease go well together XD)
V. Having Shadowheart hand over her scroll of Detect Thoughts to Smiler, since they’re the party leader and thus shall be used for almost all dialogue, and consequently will get the most use out of it (in fact, I should probably have them cast it on themselves next time I play)
VI. Having Astarion give one of his scrolls of Protection From Evil And Good to Gale, since we have LOADS of these things (four more between Astarion and Smiler if I recall correctly), and thus one could definitely go to Gale for later scribing into his spellbook
VI. Having Smiler then split up their eight regular healing potions and give two to Wyll, one to Lae’zel, and one to Shadowheart so all the companions had three on them (gotta make sure they’re ready to heal if necessary!)
VII. Having Smiler give their THE Amulet Of Lost Voices (aka the vanilla one that you find in Wither’s tomb that only grants Speak With Dead, as opposed to Smiler’s mod-added AN Amulet Of Lost Voices which gives them Speak With Animals too) to Wyll, because he was the only one without a special amulet or ring (plus it’s just good to have two people who can cast Speak With Dead in your party, as corpses often refuse to speak to their killers)
*nods* Took a while, but I’m happy with how things ended up redistributed! Gotta keep the inventories neat, after all.
B) With everyone’s inventories at least somewhat straightened out, it was time for the party to hit the road again! I thus sent everyone back out into the world, where they spawned in right outside the entrance to the Secluded Cove from the Sacred Pool. My plan was to have Smiler and company then head up the path that ran along the wall to the side of the Pool, up to some high spot that I wished to investigate –
But before Smiler could take more than a few steps in that direction, there was a bright flash of red light, and they were suddenly catapulted into a cutscene! A cutscene that saw them looking around in confusion for a moment, before being surprised by the sudden appearance of a mysterious man on the path behind them. A man who greeted them with “My, my, what manner of place is this? A path to redemption, or a road to damnation? Hard to say, for your journey is just beginning.” He then went on to quote a lullaby from Cormyr at them, with appropriate hand gestures – “The mouse smiled brightly; it outfoxed the cat! Then down came the claw, and that, love, was that” – before finally introducing himself: “Well met. I am Raphael. Very much at your service.” A puzzled Smiler introduced themselves in turn – Raphael assured them he was charmed, “in more ways than one,” before saying that they should have a chat – “But not here. This quaint little scene is decidedly too middle-of-nowhere for my tastes. Come.” He then waved a hand –
And in a flash of bright light, Smiler (along with Wyll and Astarion – I think the others might have been a little too far away to be properly teleported, though they later acted like they’d seen everything) found themselves suddenly standing in the dining room of a great mansion, with a huge table absolutely covered in delicious food behind them and Raphael standing in front of a blazing fireplace before them, cheerfully declaring, “There. Middle-of-somewhere.” Smiler, thrown off, replied, “Can you be more specific than ‘somewhere?’” – Raphael obliged them, stating that the place was “The House of Hope. Where the tired come to rest, and the famished come to feed – lavishly,” before encouraging them to partake of the food – “Enjoy your supper. After all…”
“...it might just be your last.” Smiler, who had been briefly tempted by the food (aka, I was briefly tempted to let them go ahead and fill their plate, just to see what would happen), was immediately like “What makes you say that?” because THEY sure as hell hadn’t told Raphael anything about their situation. Raphael replied, “Call it a ninth sense” –
Before transforming in a burst of red light into a devil! Complete with large bat-like things and a set of large horns curling up out of his head. He cheerfully commented, “What’s better than a devil you don’t know? A devil you do,” before telling Smiler that while he was potentially a friend, and conceivably an adversary, he was most certainly a savior. Smiler, still trying to play dumb, asked “What makes you think I need saving?” –
But Raphael quickly revealed he already knew all with a “Come now. Why play hard to get when you’re in deep over your tadpoled head? One skull, two tenants, and no solution in sight.” He then declared that he could “fix it all like that” – cue snapping of fingers that caused flame to shoot up between them, and from the torches in the room – before gazing expectantly at his prey, clearly expecting Smiler to jump at the chance to rid themselves of their passenger. Smiler, however, wasn’t quite at the point of making deals with devils to cure their affliction –
But neither were they at the point of being rude to one, especially one they didn’t know very well. So they diplomatically informed him that “I need to think this over” (earning approval from Gale, Shadowheart, and Lae’zel). Raphael assured them they could take all the time they needed – “but make up your mind before you’re counting down with tentacles,” before continuing more harshly with “Try to cure yourself. Shop around – beg, borrow, and steal. Exhaust every possibility until none are left. And when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair – that’s when you’ll come knocking on my door. Hope. Hahaha! Such a tease.” An annoyed Smiler declared to him that “I’ll have the last laugh in the end” (sort of pictured below – I took the screenshot before the dialogue box popped up) –
Causing Raphael to muse “I’ve always wondered what a laughing mind flayer sounds like.” >( Jerk. He then reminded them of how fortunate they’d been with the symptoms of ceremorphosis – “sundering skin, dissolving guts” – having not yet appeared, noting that “one might say you’re a paragon of luck” –
Before ending the conversation with “I’ll be there when it runs out” and sending Smiler and company back to the path in another flash of bright light. *shakehead* Sorry, Raphael – I already know your deal, and I am very much not taking it! Not when there’s a much more satisfying option to break into your house at the end of the game…
C) Anyway – having just met a devil and been teleported to and from the Hells (again), Smiler was naturally eager to see how their companions were taking this turn of events! After all, it’s not every day that you meant such a “distinguished” personage as Raphael. Here’s how each conversation went:
Astarion – He was not happy about Raphael turning up, greeting Smiler with an annoyed and distraught “Now there’s a bloody devil trailing after us? This gets better and better,” before noting that Raphael told them to “shop around” like he was sure they wouldn’t be able to find any cure but his. “And he might be right. We’ve had no luck so far.” Smiler was determined not to let Astarion fall into despair, though, and told him outright that Raphael was not right and that the still had other options. Astarion allowed that perhaps they did, but said that everything Raphael had said made him feel like the devil was playing with them...and that it reminded him of – “well, someone I used to know. Someone that liked to play with people.” Someone who will be very important in Astarion’s personal quest later on, in fact… He then pointed out that Smiler was a Warlock, and that they must understand “how dangerous the wrong deal can be” –
And oh, I was so tempted to go with the Warlock-specific option of “Raphael’s just a cambion. We can take him,” as Smiler’s answer. So very tempted. But, unfortunately, looking it up confirmed that answer would get Astarion’s disapproval – and the pale elf is already just barely tolerating Smiler, as I don’t do a lot of things that he actually approves of! Besides, Smiler probably doesn’t know Raphael’s just a cambion anyway – they’re a Great Old One Warlock, after all, not a Fiend one. So instead they went with the more reasonable “I do. We can’t fall into whatever trap Raphael is planning” –
Which, happily, earned Astarion’s approval instead. Finally, he likes them a bit better! He declared that “Indeed we can’t” and said that they had to figure out what the hell was going on – “Why we aren’t changing, what’s planned for us, and why a devil is suddenly taking an interest. If we can answer those questions, we might have a chance. And if not – well, we’ll be exactly where this Raphael wants us.” Cheery! But Astarion isn’t exactly a paragon of positivity at the best of times, and this is far from those.
Wyll – He was a little more stoic than Astarion at first, choosing to greet his fearless leader with a fairy tale when Smiler approached – “The Devil With The Silver Tongue,” a classic story that his father read to him when he was small: “A farmer made a deal with a devil, so the story goes: in exchange for the farmer’s dearest fruit, the devil granted him a bottomless coinpurse. The farmer’s dearest fruit, naturally, was no apple nor peach, but his beloved daughter.” He commented that one could learn a lot from fairy tales – Smiler agreed, saying “With the right teacher, yes,” before asking Wyll’s thoughts on the devil –
And causing Wyll to quite passionately declare “Refuse him, no matter how tempting the offer, no matter how delicious the feast he lays out for you. The cost’s always too great.” And he would know, given his own patron and some of the shit she’s pulled! Smiler reassured him that “Don’t worry. I have no interest in a devil’s deal,” but Wyll pointed out that was due to them still having hope – and then added “But when he becomes your last hope, remember this. He’ll require of you only what you’re least ready to part with. And then require more still. You might think you’d give up anything for a cure. But the devil won’t take just anything. He’ll take everything.” And, again, poor Wyll would know. :( Very glad my backstory for Smiler has them having a much better relationship with their patron Mar-Mal!
Lae’zel – Amusingly, she had no interest in Raphael’s deal at all – instead, when Smiler went to get her thoughts, she greeted them with “This devil Raphael flaunts his paltry wings, as if he wants to impress us. You saw the red dragons slaying his infernal kin above Hell’s fires, did you not? Next to a dragon, a devil’s a gnat. When I am kith’rak, I will take my Queen Vlaakith his head as a trophy.” Very one-track mind, Lae’zel. XD Smiler, only too happy to discuss things other than “does anyone here think it’s a good idea to sell our soul for the chance to get the tadpole removed?” asked her what exactly a kith’rak was, and she explained they were “Githyanki knights. The riders that chased the nautiloid. They are the commissars and enforcers of my Queen Vlaakith’s will. Vlaakith bestows no greater honor.” She then declared boldly that “To wield a kith’rak’s silver sword is my destiny. I will earn my Queen’s favour. And I will conquer every layer of Hell, should she command it.” Damn, girl, calm down a bit, will ya? You’re still like 20 by githyanki standards. :P Smiler decided to leave her grand dreams be and instead asked why the kith’rak were pursuing the mind flayer ship –
And Lae’zel said that, while mind flayers (or ghaik in her language) were her kind’s most mortal enemy, and it was not unusual for kith’rak to chase their ships just because of that, she had to admit, pursing it straight into the Hells WAS unusual. “But I am not one to question the wisdom of my Queen. I can see but to the horizon. Vlaakith’s sight pierces the many planes.” Right. Yeah, uh, you just keep on believing in the power and majesty of your queen, Lae’zel...we’ll come back to that later…
Gale – His conversation started a bit weirdly – not only did he greet Smiler with “Do you feel as flattered as I do? Invited to dine with a devil…” something about the line prompted an Arcana check – which Smiler passed, but I don’t know what it did for them. O.o (Some research suggests it updated one line of dialogue to note that Raphael is a cambion, which means he’s technically a HALF-devil. Okay then!) Smiler noted that “You have a strange definition of flattery,” to which Gale replied, “Believe me, that was a devil’s equivalent of serenades and roses.” He then explained that he believed that, beneath all the bluster and talk of the group being desperate, it was Raphael who was desperate – “I think he wants something from us. Badly. And in that knowledge lies our opportunity.” Puzzled, Smiler asked, “But what is it that this devil wants so very badly?” –
And Gale replied, “Our souls. But I suspect that’s but his opening offer.” He then decided to play devil’s advocate (ha) and pointed out that the man was too eager, and his offer should not be dismissed out of hand. After all, “if there’s one quality all the denizens of the Hells embody, it’s ambition. A quality they share with many humans, come to think of it…” Smiler, somewhat concerned by all this, asked, “And how do you propose we beat the a devil at his own game?” – Gale replied “By figuring out his true intentions” and listing the facts – namely, that there was something weird, yet very powerful, about their tadpoles, and a devil had randomly offered to take them away. “Devils aren’t known to aid mortals out of simple kindness. Whatever Raphael wants, we must be the key to getting it. Along with our tadpoles…” He then declared that, for now, they should wait – because if he was right, Raphael would try to contact them again. “And when he does, there’s a mighty bargain to be made. Remember his Cormyrian rhyme? ‘Down came the claw.’ Perhaps we should start growing our nails.” And thus the conversation ended with Gale feeling satisfied with himself –
And Smiler wondering if they were going to have to talk their new bestie out of making an inadvisable deal with a devil. Yeah, uh, sorry Smiler – your buddy Gale does kind of facilitate between acts of incredible hubris and acts of ill-advised self-loathing during this game! We will keep him from doing anything stupid, I promise.
Shadowheart – She was quite annoyed with all of this, complaining “Bloody hells – literally. Just when I think I’ve got a grasp on our dilemma, a devil shows up…” when Smiler finally approached her for her opinion. She quickly rallied, though, declaring “We’ve dealt with every other oddity thrown at us lately – we can handle this one too.” She then asked what Smiler thought of Raphael, who knew their tadpoley secret and claimed to be able to help – Smiler replied, “He’s a devil. We shouldn’t trust him – simple as that” –
And to their surprise, Shadowheart replied, “No doubts at all? He seemed powerful and very knowledgeable about our problem… Not the worst prospect we’ve stumbled across. As long as you can look past what he is…” Smiler, concerned that they now had two friends who would need to be talked out of inadvisable devil deals, insisted, “I’m not going to just change my mind. We can’t trust Raphael” –
And in a further twist, Shadowheart gave her approval and replied, “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.” She then explained that “I know people who work much like our new acquaintance does. You don’t need a scourge or a rack to break people. Fear and self-doubt are sufficient. When actual pain comes, the victim’s already done the heavy lifting for their torturer. There were no right answers with that devil. He was toying with his food – us.” Smiler quietly agreed, but – now concerned for a different reason – commented “I didn’t realize you were so…well-versed in mental and emotional torment” –
Causing Shadowheart to reply, “And aren’t you glad that I am? It’s an effective trick. Watch out for it. And for Raphael.” Smiler accepted that she had a point (and probably wasn’t going to tell them where she learned said trick) and decided to change the subject to comment on something they’d noticed earlier: “Those murals in the Grove – something about them seemed to catch your eye.” They were hoping that maybe Shadowheart was ready to open up a bit more about herself and her past –
But no, she simply replied, “What can I say? They were eye-catching. Consider me an art lover.” Sorry, Smiler – seems you’re not quite ready for the big revelation about who it is she worships! Ah well…
D) Having thus chatted with everyone about their recent devil meeting (and made a note to keep an eye on Gale), Smiler finally got the chance to check out the path and see where it led! Venturing a few steps forward revealed that it led to a woman practicing a lute for some squirrels – a woman I knew to be Alfira, the tiefling bard who needs help composing a song to honor her fallen mentor. I was briefly tempted to go and talk to her –
But then I was like, “NO. I’ve already experienced a BUNCH of events without the final member of my party, including – thanks to Raphael – a freaking trip to the Hells. WE ARE GOING TO GET FUCKING KARLACH FIRST.” So I made a mental note of the location and instead had Smiler lead the party back through the columns into the Sacred Pool, then up the steps past Arabella and her folks and Mattis’s little scam-shop to the Hollow –
And then paused, because I realized there was one thing I wanted to do before rushing off and finally finding our final Origin companion – namely, force the “Investigate The Beach” quest to complete! Because apparently this quest is supposed to be done before you find the “theifling” hideout and meet Mol, and thus won’t complete until you talk to her. And, well, Smiler and company were right next to the concealed hatch that led to the hideout, so… I thus had them clamber inside and head down the ladder into the secret cave to check in with the gang of kids. First order of business was to make sure that Mirkon had indeed made it back safely – and indeed he had, having taken up a little patrol route on the boards above the kid’s little “stolen treasures” pile:
Smiler naturally approached to say hello and see how he was going – Mirkon greeted them with an extremely enthusiastic “You came!” and then thrust a piece of paper at them, saying, “Mol said I should thank you properly. For the harpies. So I wrote you a story!” Smiler, deeply charmed, replied, “Aren’t you the clever one? That’s very kind.” Mirkon, pleased, told them, “It’s about you! I hope you like it” –
And when Smiler exited the conversation, they genuinely received a note with Mirkon’s story! Detailing how a boy on a beach wanted to raid a harpy nest, but was instead entranced by their song until a brave adventurer came along and killed the harpy with one blow. Inspiring the boy to want to be just like them and be strong and save people. Being as Mirkon’s a little kid, it was a very simple story with a lot of misspellings, but it was absolutely adorable as well. How sweet. :D Smiler is definitely keeping THAT on them for the rest of the game!
However, getting the adorable story from Mirkon didn’t complete the quest, so – after listening to Mirkon apologize to the others for not getting anything from the harpy nest, and Mol assure the others – who were complaining about getting nothing but junk from their recent steals – that purses practically grow on trees in Baldur’s Gate – Smiler then followed Mol around the cave to say hi. Mol greeted them with “I had a feeling you’d be back. Mirkon says you got him out of a tight spot with some harpies. Gotta say, I’m impressed,” before telling them that if they wanted to talk, they should talk. Smiler, aware that there was no talking Mol out of not being a thief, instead asked if she wanted to trade –
And the moment the Trade/Barter screen opened, the “Investigate the Beach” quest finally completed! Yay! To celebrate, Smiler bought an Arrow of Illmater (which does extra necrotic damage when fired, and prevents the target from regaining hit points for a turn) for Astarion for 40 gold (nice to have money). They then ended their conversation with Mol –
And started exploring the cave a bit more, because I’d heard tell on the wiki that there was a container in there with alchemy ingredients that it was okay for Smiler to take, and I was all for getting them more alchemy stuff. After a bit of poking around, it transpired that the container they were looking for was a wicker chest on a ledge on the other side of the chasm down which the waterfall ran. Curious, I tested to see if Smiler could jump the distance –
But, unfortunately, they could not. And neither could Lae’zel, currently the member of the party with the most Strength, and thus the most jumping distance. Now, Smiler did have a Potion of Flying on them, which would have made getting the stuff a breeze...but said potion is a pretty rare one, and I didn’t know if that was the best use for it. So I left the chest for now – we’ll see if we can get to it at a later date!
And so the playsession ended with the party exiting the hideout and returning to the Hollow, and to Guex’s constant attacks on that one training dummy. XD Next time, our course is set – we are going to find Karlach and fucking recruit her already! It’s been too long, and I want my Act 1 party complete, damn it. *shakehead*
YouTube: Welp, I said I was going to carve out the time, and I did, heading straight to YouTube after supper and watching the OXtra and OXBox videos I’d missed earlier this week –
A) From OXtra, we had “Forcing Everyone to Play Nintendo Virtual Boy” – Ellen forcing Mike, Jane, and Andy to play games on her new Virtual Boy! Her genuinely new Virtual Boy, in fact – because, as it turns out, Nintendo has re-released this monstrosity as a new accessory of sorts for the Switch and the Switch 2! The Virtual Boy, in case you didn’t know, was a gimmicky console from the 90s that advertised itself as being able to do games in 3-D – it basically looked like a big bulky red headset-thing with two little screens for your eyes permanently mounted on a flimsy frame. You bent over at a painful angle and pressed your face into the headset-thing to see the games, and played with an attached controller. Oh, and everything was in red because they couldn’t do proper color graphics. The new Virtual Boy may require you to slot your Switch into it first, and play using its controllers, but it very faithfully mimics its predecessor otherwise, right down to the horrible angle you have to bend at to see the games. XD So, what did the OXBox trio think of the console? Well –
I. Mike was actually honestly impressed with the 3-D graphics of the time, noting that the game he was playing, WarioWare, was taking full advantage of the depth of field lent by the eyepiece by throwing things constantly at the screen and giving Wario proper 3-D arms and such. He was much less impressed by his posture while playing it, though, noting that it defied everything in nature to be this bent. And he looked like his neck genuinely ached a bit when he sat up again. Ow.
II. Andy seemed to enjoy himself too, and got quite into his Teleroboxer game quite a bit, wiggling in his seat as he jabbed at his opponent (Mike asked “why are you wiggling your butt,” causing him to insist that was part of the experience). He attempted to avoid Mike’s “prawning” (what we would call “shrimping”) by adjusting the angle of the eyepiece, but I’m not sure how well it worked. His main concern was that he wouldn’t want anyone to come into the room and see him playing this – but then, he has similar concerns about modern VR headsets too, so...
III. And Jane got WAY into 3-D Tetris, wiggling around even more than Andy in her attempt to move the big old cube containing the various shapes and being the last to actually sit up and stop playing (with the others making constant jokes about her having “VR psychosis” and having to pull her out and her protesting “no, I can’t live in the real world anymore” XD). She commented that the red screen made her feel like a Terminator, and insisted her back didn’t hurt any more than it normally does when she finally sat up (Andy: “Put that on the box, Nintendo”), so – I guess that’s good? I mean, any lingering back pain certainly didn’t stop her from putting her face back in to play some more 3-D Tetris. Girl was INTO that game. XD
So yeah – apparently this group likes the Virtual Boy! Jane even gave it the world’s most awkward pat to end the video. Me, I don’t know why anyone would want a modern copy of the Neck And Eye Strain Console, but if you do, Nintendo’s selling them. Just maybe put it on some books first so you don’t have to bend over.
B) And from OXBox, we had “7 Game Company Decisions That Backfired Horribly” – Andy, Mike, and Jane talking about those poorly-thought-out decisions from game companies that led to terrible, terrible consequences! Ranging from:
I. EA inserting horrible, predatory pay-to-win lootbox nonsense into Star Wars Battlefront 2 and incensing the fans so much that they petitioned Disney to strip EA’s exclusive license to make Star Wars games and left the game in droves, leading to EA stopping support for Battlefront 2 shortly after finally fixing the progression system because it was too little too late by most people’s standards (and to Disney allowing other game companies to make games two years earlier than the license with EA should have allowed)
II. To SEGA deciding to “stealth launch” the hotly-anticipated SEGA Saturn console in the US back in the 90s by releasing it to a handful of exclusive retailers around the time of the E3 trade show in May instead of on “Saturn Day” (Saturday, September 2nd, 1995) as previously promised, meaning it came out with almost no fanfare and with very few games, leading to it being overtaken in sales by the new Sony Playstation console and to SEGA eventually getting out of the console game entirely (and to Sony starting its tradition of promoting its consoles by looking at the mistakes of its competitors and telling people “we’re not doing that” – specifically, by responding to the Saturn’s $399 price tag by sending the US branch’s president up to the stage at E3 to say “$299” and walk off)
III. To Atari seeing the success of E. T. The Extraterrestrial in theaters in the summer of 1982; lobbying hard to get the license rights for the inevitable video game adaptation; getting those rights for a pretty penny so late in the year that they only had FIVE WEEKS to develop the game so it could be launched in time for Christmas; and leaving it up to one guy to make the game in that short time period, leading to an extremely-poorly-made game that not only basically scuppered Atari with its poor sales, but also nearly did the same to THE ENTIRE VIDEO GAME INDUSTRY by helping kick off the Video Game Crash of 1983 (and to Atari, desperate to get rid of returned product, discarding a bunch of unsold copies in concrete in the New Mexico desert – yes, that turned out not to be a myth)
So yes – the next time YOU make a poorly-thought-out decision? Just be grateful you can’t cause the damage to yourself a video game company can cause to itself. Unless you ARE a video game company, in which case LEARN FROM YOUR PEERS ALREADY.
*nods* Glad I got all that done, at least! But I have stayed up pretty late to tell you all about it, so I'd better get to bed now. Tomorrow, plans include working some more on my "VITD Timeline" post over on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler); figuring out a gift fic for Newt (who hasn't gotten back to me with any ideas yet) or working on Chapter 6 of "Londerland Bloodlines: Downtown Queensland" (gotta get that up sometime!); playing a bit of Fallout: New Vegas and seeing if I can discover some new places with Courier Victor; and getting in a workout, hopefully with the next episode of Jon's F:NV YOLO Remastered series. We'll see if those all work out -- night all!
Tumblr: I didn’t expect to get anything done on tumblr today, I confess – between waking up later than I’d wanted, dealing with Dad not feeling good, and having to spend most of the morning making a fresh batch of granola to eat with my cereal on my days off, it didn’t seem likely that I’d be able to get into my Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts at all. But, fortunately, I was able to sneak in both right before and right after lunch and do a little work on my “VITD” timeline post:
A) Writing up a rough draft of the starting paragraph
B) Adding links to all the posts where I’ve talked about story ideas and to my three posted stories on AO3
C) And adding another story to the “starting line-up” I’ve decided on – the one based on the “When Freedom Calls” quest from Fallout 4, with the gang having to help the local version of Preston Garvey and the Quincy Massacre survivors. Right now, it’s set to happen right after “And There Was Only One Bed,” the story where the trio actually get together as a polycule – we’ll see if I decide if it should go somwhere else later!
Not too shabby, honestly! I’m happy I did get a chance to work on this, even if I didn’t get as much done on it as I’d like – hopefully tomorrow I can accomplish some more!
Baldur’s Gate III: As promised, I returned to Faerûn today to spend some more time with my Tav Smiler and friends, with today’s session consisting of inventory management (everyone’s favorite), an encounter with a devil, everyone talking about the encounter with the devil, and me wrapping up the quest to save Mirkon because the game wouldn’t mark it as done until I talked to Mol again. XD That’s the short version to prove that I can do it – now here’s the long version for your enjoyment –
A) I started out with everyone hanging out at the Wilderness camp, all Longstridered (and in Wyll and Smiler’s case, False Lifed) up and ready to go as per the end of my last session – but before I sent everyone out and about again, I was like, “You know, Smiler has a lot of scrolls in their scroll case that should probably be in GALE’S scroll case so he can scribe them into his spellbook later. And I have to hand out the Oil of Accuracy coatings they have to their friends who are more likely to charge in with melee weapons in the next fight. And maybe give their arrows to Astarion, as he seems to be becoming the archer of the group. Let’s do a bit of inventory management before we leave, shall we?” So I pulled up the “party inventories” screen and did just that! And after going back and forth between all my different party members and splitting item stacks and whatnot, I ended up:
I. Rearranging everyone’s various containers (both vanilla and mod-added “smart” containers) a bit so they were all in the same order: camp supply pack, keyring, alchemy pouch, potion (and elixir) bag, poison (and coatings) satchel, arrow quiver, explosives (and other throwables) box, scroll case, and book backpack. Just makes it easier if everyone has everything in the same order as everyone else!
II. Having Lae’zel hand over the trap disarm toolkit she picked up a little while back to Astarion, since he’s the Rogue and thus our trap disarming expert
III. Having Smiler distribute the three Oil of Accuracy coatings they had in their satchel (they’d picked up one in an earlier stash to go with the two they made at the end of last week’s “replaying a bit to get an extra interaction in the ‘Gale shows Smiler how to channel the Weave’ cutscene” session) between Astarion (for one of his two daggers), Lae’zel (for her greatsword), and Wyll (for his pact-bound rapier), before further giving Astarion the two Basic Poisons they were carrying around (felt most thematically appropriate for the Rogue to have them – maybe he can poison the dagger he doesn’t oil up), along with the Arrow of Ice and two Arrows Of Acid in their quiver (again, he seems to be becoming the archer of the group, so he should have the most special arrows – Lae’zel also has some Arrows of Ice, but I let her keep them for the time being. Never know when someone else will want to pull out a special ranged attack! Plus I think “magic pockets” may make it so Astarion can get at them if he wants during a battle anyway)
IV. Having Smiler then distribute their three scrolls of Burning Hands between Shadowheart (so she didn’t feel left out), Wyll (because it felt thematically appropriate for a Warlock with a Fiend patron), and Gale (because he could take his pick between casting or scribing it), before further giving Gale their scrolls of Ray Of Enfeeblement, Bone Chill, Enlarge, and Colour Spray (again, in case he wanted to scribe any of them), and Astarion their scroll of Grease (because, thanks to Corazon de Ballena from Oxventure, I feel like Rogues and Grease go well together XD)
V. Having Shadowheart hand over her scroll of Detect Thoughts to Smiler, since they’re the party leader and thus shall be used for almost all dialogue, and consequently will get the most use out of it (in fact, I should probably have them cast it on themselves next time I play)
VI. Having Astarion give one of his scrolls of Protection From Evil And Good to Gale, since we have LOADS of these things (four more between Astarion and Smiler if I recall correctly), and thus one could definitely go to Gale for later scribing into his spellbook
VI. Having Smiler then split up their eight regular healing potions and give two to Wyll, one to Lae’zel, and one to Shadowheart so all the companions had three on them (gotta make sure they’re ready to heal if necessary!)
VII. Having Smiler give their THE Amulet Of Lost Voices (aka the vanilla one that you find in Wither’s tomb that only grants Speak With Dead, as opposed to Smiler’s mod-added AN Amulet Of Lost Voices which gives them Speak With Animals too) to Wyll, because he was the only one without a special amulet or ring (plus it’s just good to have two people who can cast Speak With Dead in your party, as corpses often refuse to speak to their killers)
*nods* Took a while, but I’m happy with how things ended up redistributed! Gotta keep the inventories neat, after all.
B) With everyone’s inventories at least somewhat straightened out, it was time for the party to hit the road again! I thus sent everyone back out into the world, where they spawned in right outside the entrance to the Secluded Cove from the Sacred Pool. My plan was to have Smiler and company then head up the path that ran along the wall to the side of the Pool, up to some high spot that I wished to investigate –
But before Smiler could take more than a few steps in that direction, there was a bright flash of red light, and they were suddenly catapulted into a cutscene! A cutscene that saw them looking around in confusion for a moment, before being surprised by the sudden appearance of a mysterious man on the path behind them. A man who greeted them with “My, my, what manner of place is this? A path to redemption, or a road to damnation? Hard to say, for your journey is just beginning.” He then went on to quote a lullaby from Cormyr at them, with appropriate hand gestures – “The mouse smiled brightly; it outfoxed the cat! Then down came the claw, and that, love, was that” – before finally introducing himself: “Well met. I am Raphael. Very much at your service.” A puzzled Smiler introduced themselves in turn – Raphael assured them he was charmed, “in more ways than one,” before saying that they should have a chat – “But not here. This quaint little scene is decidedly too middle-of-nowhere for my tastes. Come.” He then waved a hand –
And in a flash of bright light, Smiler (along with Wyll and Astarion – I think the others might have been a little too far away to be properly teleported, though they later acted like they’d seen everything) found themselves suddenly standing in the dining room of a great mansion, with a huge table absolutely covered in delicious food behind them and Raphael standing in front of a blazing fireplace before them, cheerfully declaring, “There. Middle-of-somewhere.” Smiler, thrown off, replied, “Can you be more specific than ‘somewhere?’” – Raphael obliged them, stating that the place was “The House of Hope. Where the tired come to rest, and the famished come to feed – lavishly,” before encouraging them to partake of the food – “Enjoy your supper. After all…”
“...it might just be your last.” Smiler, who had been briefly tempted by the food (aka, I was briefly tempted to let them go ahead and fill their plate, just to see what would happen), was immediately like “What makes you say that?” because THEY sure as hell hadn’t told Raphael anything about their situation. Raphael replied, “Call it a ninth sense” –
Before transforming in a burst of red light into a devil! Complete with large bat-like things and a set of large horns curling up out of his head. He cheerfully commented, “What’s better than a devil you don’t know? A devil you do,” before telling Smiler that while he was potentially a friend, and conceivably an adversary, he was most certainly a savior. Smiler, still trying to play dumb, asked “What makes you think I need saving?” –
But Raphael quickly revealed he already knew all with a “Come now. Why play hard to get when you’re in deep over your tadpoled head? One skull, two tenants, and no solution in sight.” He then declared that he could “fix it all like that” – cue snapping of fingers that caused flame to shoot up between them, and from the torches in the room – before gazing expectantly at his prey, clearly expecting Smiler to jump at the chance to rid themselves of their passenger. Smiler, however, wasn’t quite at the point of making deals with devils to cure their affliction –
But neither were they at the point of being rude to one, especially one they didn’t know very well. So they diplomatically informed him that “I need to think this over” (earning approval from Gale, Shadowheart, and Lae’zel). Raphael assured them they could take all the time they needed – “but make up your mind before you’re counting down with tentacles,” before continuing more harshly with “Try to cure yourself. Shop around – beg, borrow, and steal. Exhaust every possibility until none are left. And when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair – that’s when you’ll come knocking on my door. Hope. Hahaha! Such a tease.” An annoyed Smiler declared to him that “I’ll have the last laugh in the end” (sort of pictured below – I took the screenshot before the dialogue box popped up) –
Causing Raphael to muse “I’ve always wondered what a laughing mind flayer sounds like.” >( Jerk. He then reminded them of how fortunate they’d been with the symptoms of ceremorphosis – “sundering skin, dissolving guts” – having not yet appeared, noting that “one might say you’re a paragon of luck” –
Before ending the conversation with “I’ll be there when it runs out” and sending Smiler and company back to the path in another flash of bright light. *shakehead* Sorry, Raphael – I already know your deal, and I am very much not taking it! Not when there’s a much more satisfying option to break into your house at the end of the game…
C) Anyway – having just met a devil and been teleported to and from the Hells (again), Smiler was naturally eager to see how their companions were taking this turn of events! After all, it’s not every day that you meant such a “distinguished” personage as Raphael. Here’s how each conversation went:
Astarion – He was not happy about Raphael turning up, greeting Smiler with an annoyed and distraught “Now there’s a bloody devil trailing after us? This gets better and better,” before noting that Raphael told them to “shop around” like he was sure they wouldn’t be able to find any cure but his. “And he might be right. We’ve had no luck so far.” Smiler was determined not to let Astarion fall into despair, though, and told him outright that Raphael was not right and that the still had other options. Astarion allowed that perhaps they did, but said that everything Raphael had said made him feel like the devil was playing with them...and that it reminded him of – “well, someone I used to know. Someone that liked to play with people.” Someone who will be very important in Astarion’s personal quest later on, in fact… He then pointed out that Smiler was a Warlock, and that they must understand “how dangerous the wrong deal can be” –
And oh, I was so tempted to go with the Warlock-specific option of “Raphael’s just a cambion. We can take him,” as Smiler’s answer. So very tempted. But, unfortunately, looking it up confirmed that answer would get Astarion’s disapproval – and the pale elf is already just barely tolerating Smiler, as I don’t do a lot of things that he actually approves of! Besides, Smiler probably doesn’t know Raphael’s just a cambion anyway – they’re a Great Old One Warlock, after all, not a Fiend one. So instead they went with the more reasonable “I do. We can’t fall into whatever trap Raphael is planning” –
Which, happily, earned Astarion’s approval instead. Finally, he likes them a bit better! He declared that “Indeed we can’t” and said that they had to figure out what the hell was going on – “Why we aren’t changing, what’s planned for us, and why a devil is suddenly taking an interest. If we can answer those questions, we might have a chance. And if not – well, we’ll be exactly where this Raphael wants us.” Cheery! But Astarion isn’t exactly a paragon of positivity at the best of times, and this is far from those.
Wyll – He was a little more stoic than Astarion at first, choosing to greet his fearless leader with a fairy tale when Smiler approached – “The Devil With The Silver Tongue,” a classic story that his father read to him when he was small: “A farmer made a deal with a devil, so the story goes: in exchange for the farmer’s dearest fruit, the devil granted him a bottomless coinpurse. The farmer’s dearest fruit, naturally, was no apple nor peach, but his beloved daughter.” He commented that one could learn a lot from fairy tales – Smiler agreed, saying “With the right teacher, yes,” before asking Wyll’s thoughts on the devil –
And causing Wyll to quite passionately declare “Refuse him, no matter how tempting the offer, no matter how delicious the feast he lays out for you. The cost’s always too great.” And he would know, given his own patron and some of the shit she’s pulled! Smiler reassured him that “Don’t worry. I have no interest in a devil’s deal,” but Wyll pointed out that was due to them still having hope – and then added “But when he becomes your last hope, remember this. He’ll require of you only what you’re least ready to part with. And then require more still. You might think you’d give up anything for a cure. But the devil won’t take just anything. He’ll take everything.” And, again, poor Wyll would know. :( Very glad my backstory for Smiler has them having a much better relationship with their patron Mar-Mal!
Lae’zel – Amusingly, she had no interest in Raphael’s deal at all – instead, when Smiler went to get her thoughts, she greeted them with “This devil Raphael flaunts his paltry wings, as if he wants to impress us. You saw the red dragons slaying his infernal kin above Hell’s fires, did you not? Next to a dragon, a devil’s a gnat. When I am kith’rak, I will take my Queen Vlaakith his head as a trophy.” Very one-track mind, Lae’zel. XD Smiler, only too happy to discuss things other than “does anyone here think it’s a good idea to sell our soul for the chance to get the tadpole removed?” asked her what exactly a kith’rak was, and she explained they were “Githyanki knights. The riders that chased the nautiloid. They are the commissars and enforcers of my Queen Vlaakith’s will. Vlaakith bestows no greater honor.” She then declared boldly that “To wield a kith’rak’s silver sword is my destiny. I will earn my Queen’s favour. And I will conquer every layer of Hell, should she command it.” Damn, girl, calm down a bit, will ya? You’re still like 20 by githyanki standards. :P Smiler decided to leave her grand dreams be and instead asked why the kith’rak were pursuing the mind flayer ship –
And Lae’zel said that, while mind flayers (or ghaik in her language) were her kind’s most mortal enemy, and it was not unusual for kith’rak to chase their ships just because of that, she had to admit, pursing it straight into the Hells WAS unusual. “But I am not one to question the wisdom of my Queen. I can see but to the horizon. Vlaakith’s sight pierces the many planes.” Right. Yeah, uh, you just keep on believing in the power and majesty of your queen, Lae’zel...we’ll come back to that later…
Gale – His conversation started a bit weirdly – not only did he greet Smiler with “Do you feel as flattered as I do? Invited to dine with a devil…” something about the line prompted an Arcana check – which Smiler passed, but I don’t know what it did for them. O.o (Some research suggests it updated one line of dialogue to note that Raphael is a cambion, which means he’s technically a HALF-devil. Okay then!) Smiler noted that “You have a strange definition of flattery,” to which Gale replied, “Believe me, that was a devil’s equivalent of serenades and roses.” He then explained that he believed that, beneath all the bluster and talk of the group being desperate, it was Raphael who was desperate – “I think he wants something from us. Badly. And in that knowledge lies our opportunity.” Puzzled, Smiler asked, “But what is it that this devil wants so very badly?” –
And Gale replied, “Our souls. But I suspect that’s but his opening offer.” He then decided to play devil’s advocate (ha) and pointed out that the man was too eager, and his offer should not be dismissed out of hand. After all, “if there’s one quality all the denizens of the Hells embody, it’s ambition. A quality they share with many humans, come to think of it…” Smiler, somewhat concerned by all this, asked, “And how do you propose we beat the a devil at his own game?” – Gale replied “By figuring out his true intentions” and listing the facts – namely, that there was something weird, yet very powerful, about their tadpoles, and a devil had randomly offered to take them away. “Devils aren’t known to aid mortals out of simple kindness. Whatever Raphael wants, we must be the key to getting it. Along with our tadpoles…” He then declared that, for now, they should wait – because if he was right, Raphael would try to contact them again. “And when he does, there’s a mighty bargain to be made. Remember his Cormyrian rhyme? ‘Down came the claw.’ Perhaps we should start growing our nails.” And thus the conversation ended with Gale feeling satisfied with himself –
And Smiler wondering if they were going to have to talk their new bestie out of making an inadvisable deal with a devil. Yeah, uh, sorry Smiler – your buddy Gale does kind of facilitate between acts of incredible hubris and acts of ill-advised self-loathing during this game! We will keep him from doing anything stupid, I promise.
Shadowheart – She was quite annoyed with all of this, complaining “Bloody hells – literally. Just when I think I’ve got a grasp on our dilemma, a devil shows up…” when Smiler finally approached her for her opinion. She quickly rallied, though, declaring “We’ve dealt with every other oddity thrown at us lately – we can handle this one too.” She then asked what Smiler thought of Raphael, who knew their tadpoley secret and claimed to be able to help – Smiler replied, “He’s a devil. We shouldn’t trust him – simple as that” –
And to their surprise, Shadowheart replied, “No doubts at all? He seemed powerful and very knowledgeable about our problem… Not the worst prospect we’ve stumbled across. As long as you can look past what he is…” Smiler, concerned that they now had two friends who would need to be talked out of inadvisable devil deals, insisted, “I’m not going to just change my mind. We can’t trust Raphael” –
And in a further twist, Shadowheart gave her approval and replied, “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.” She then explained that “I know people who work much like our new acquaintance does. You don’t need a scourge or a rack to break people. Fear and self-doubt are sufficient. When actual pain comes, the victim’s already done the heavy lifting for their torturer. There were no right answers with that devil. He was toying with his food – us.” Smiler quietly agreed, but – now concerned for a different reason – commented “I didn’t realize you were so…well-versed in mental and emotional torment” –
Causing Shadowheart to reply, “And aren’t you glad that I am? It’s an effective trick. Watch out for it. And for Raphael.” Smiler accepted that she had a point (and probably wasn’t going to tell them where she learned said trick) and decided to change the subject to comment on something they’d noticed earlier: “Those murals in the Grove – something about them seemed to catch your eye.” They were hoping that maybe Shadowheart was ready to open up a bit more about herself and her past –
But no, she simply replied, “What can I say? They were eye-catching. Consider me an art lover.” Sorry, Smiler – seems you’re not quite ready for the big revelation about who it is she worships! Ah well…
D) Having thus chatted with everyone about their recent devil meeting (and made a note to keep an eye on Gale), Smiler finally got the chance to check out the path and see where it led! Venturing a few steps forward revealed that it led to a woman practicing a lute for some squirrels – a woman I knew to be Alfira, the tiefling bard who needs help composing a song to honor her fallen mentor. I was briefly tempted to go and talk to her –
But then I was like, “NO. I’ve already experienced a BUNCH of events without the final member of my party, including – thanks to Raphael – a freaking trip to the Hells. WE ARE GOING TO GET FUCKING KARLACH FIRST.” So I made a mental note of the location and instead had Smiler lead the party back through the columns into the Sacred Pool, then up the steps past Arabella and her folks and Mattis’s little scam-shop to the Hollow –
And then paused, because I realized there was one thing I wanted to do before rushing off and finally finding our final Origin companion – namely, force the “Investigate The Beach” quest to complete! Because apparently this quest is supposed to be done before you find the “theifling” hideout and meet Mol, and thus won’t complete until you talk to her. And, well, Smiler and company were right next to the concealed hatch that led to the hideout, so… I thus had them clamber inside and head down the ladder into the secret cave to check in with the gang of kids. First order of business was to make sure that Mirkon had indeed made it back safely – and indeed he had, having taken up a little patrol route on the boards above the kid’s little “stolen treasures” pile:
Smiler naturally approached to say hello and see how he was going – Mirkon greeted them with an extremely enthusiastic “You came!” and then thrust a piece of paper at them, saying, “Mol said I should thank you properly. For the harpies. So I wrote you a story!” Smiler, deeply charmed, replied, “Aren’t you the clever one? That’s very kind.” Mirkon, pleased, told them, “It’s about you! I hope you like it” –
And when Smiler exited the conversation, they genuinely received a note with Mirkon’s story! Detailing how a boy on a beach wanted to raid a harpy nest, but was instead entranced by their song until a brave adventurer came along and killed the harpy with one blow. Inspiring the boy to want to be just like them and be strong and save people. Being as Mirkon’s a little kid, it was a very simple story with a lot of misspellings, but it was absolutely adorable as well. How sweet. :D Smiler is definitely keeping THAT on them for the rest of the game!
However, getting the adorable story from Mirkon didn’t complete the quest, so – after listening to Mirkon apologize to the others for not getting anything from the harpy nest, and Mol assure the others – who were complaining about getting nothing but junk from their recent steals – that purses practically grow on trees in Baldur’s Gate – Smiler then followed Mol around the cave to say hi. Mol greeted them with “I had a feeling you’d be back. Mirkon says you got him out of a tight spot with some harpies. Gotta say, I’m impressed,” before telling them that if they wanted to talk, they should talk. Smiler, aware that there was no talking Mol out of not being a thief, instead asked if she wanted to trade –
And the moment the Trade/Barter screen opened, the “Investigate the Beach” quest finally completed! Yay! To celebrate, Smiler bought an Arrow of Illmater (which does extra necrotic damage when fired, and prevents the target from regaining hit points for a turn) for Astarion for 40 gold (nice to have money). They then ended their conversation with Mol –
And started exploring the cave a bit more, because I’d heard tell on the wiki that there was a container in there with alchemy ingredients that it was okay for Smiler to take, and I was all for getting them more alchemy stuff. After a bit of poking around, it transpired that the container they were looking for was a wicker chest on a ledge on the other side of the chasm down which the waterfall ran. Curious, I tested to see if Smiler could jump the distance –
But, unfortunately, they could not. And neither could Lae’zel, currently the member of the party with the most Strength, and thus the most jumping distance. Now, Smiler did have a Potion of Flying on them, which would have made getting the stuff a breeze...but said potion is a pretty rare one, and I didn’t know if that was the best use for it. So I left the chest for now – we’ll see if we can get to it at a later date!
And so the playsession ended with the party exiting the hideout and returning to the Hollow, and to Guex’s constant attacks on that one training dummy. XD Next time, our course is set – we are going to find Karlach and fucking recruit her already! It’s been too long, and I want my Act 1 party complete, damn it. *shakehead*
YouTube: Welp, I said I was going to carve out the time, and I did, heading straight to YouTube after supper and watching the OXtra and OXBox videos I’d missed earlier this week –
A) From OXtra, we had “Forcing Everyone to Play Nintendo Virtual Boy” – Ellen forcing Mike, Jane, and Andy to play games on her new Virtual Boy! Her genuinely new Virtual Boy, in fact – because, as it turns out, Nintendo has re-released this monstrosity as a new accessory of sorts for the Switch and the Switch 2! The Virtual Boy, in case you didn’t know, was a gimmicky console from the 90s that advertised itself as being able to do games in 3-D – it basically looked like a big bulky red headset-thing with two little screens for your eyes permanently mounted on a flimsy frame. You bent over at a painful angle and pressed your face into the headset-thing to see the games, and played with an attached controller. Oh, and everything was in red because they couldn’t do proper color graphics. The new Virtual Boy may require you to slot your Switch into it first, and play using its controllers, but it very faithfully mimics its predecessor otherwise, right down to the horrible angle you have to bend at to see the games. XD So, what did the OXBox trio think of the console? Well –
I. Mike was actually honestly impressed with the 3-D graphics of the time, noting that the game he was playing, WarioWare, was taking full advantage of the depth of field lent by the eyepiece by throwing things constantly at the screen and giving Wario proper 3-D arms and such. He was much less impressed by his posture while playing it, though, noting that it defied everything in nature to be this bent. And he looked like his neck genuinely ached a bit when he sat up again. Ow.
II. Andy seemed to enjoy himself too, and got quite into his Teleroboxer game quite a bit, wiggling in his seat as he jabbed at his opponent (Mike asked “why are you wiggling your butt,” causing him to insist that was part of the experience). He attempted to avoid Mike’s “prawning” (what we would call “shrimping”) by adjusting the angle of the eyepiece, but I’m not sure how well it worked. His main concern was that he wouldn’t want anyone to come into the room and see him playing this – but then, he has similar concerns about modern VR headsets too, so...
III. And Jane got WAY into 3-D Tetris, wiggling around even more than Andy in her attempt to move the big old cube containing the various shapes and being the last to actually sit up and stop playing (with the others making constant jokes about her having “VR psychosis” and having to pull her out and her protesting “no, I can’t live in the real world anymore” XD). She commented that the red screen made her feel like a Terminator, and insisted her back didn’t hurt any more than it normally does when she finally sat up (Andy: “Put that on the box, Nintendo”), so – I guess that’s good? I mean, any lingering back pain certainly didn’t stop her from putting her face back in to play some more 3-D Tetris. Girl was INTO that game. XD
So yeah – apparently this group likes the Virtual Boy! Jane even gave it the world’s most awkward pat to end the video. Me, I don’t know why anyone would want a modern copy of the Neck And Eye Strain Console, but if you do, Nintendo’s selling them. Just maybe put it on some books first so you don’t have to bend over.
B) And from OXBox, we had “7 Game Company Decisions That Backfired Horribly” – Andy, Mike, and Jane talking about those poorly-thought-out decisions from game companies that led to terrible, terrible consequences! Ranging from:
I. EA inserting horrible, predatory pay-to-win lootbox nonsense into Star Wars Battlefront 2 and incensing the fans so much that they petitioned Disney to strip EA’s exclusive license to make Star Wars games and left the game in droves, leading to EA stopping support for Battlefront 2 shortly after finally fixing the progression system because it was too little too late by most people’s standards (and to Disney allowing other game companies to make games two years earlier than the license with EA should have allowed)
II. To SEGA deciding to “stealth launch” the hotly-anticipated SEGA Saturn console in the US back in the 90s by releasing it to a handful of exclusive retailers around the time of the E3 trade show in May instead of on “Saturn Day” (Saturday, September 2nd, 1995) as previously promised, meaning it came out with almost no fanfare and with very few games, leading to it being overtaken in sales by the new Sony Playstation console and to SEGA eventually getting out of the console game entirely (and to Sony starting its tradition of promoting its consoles by looking at the mistakes of its competitors and telling people “we’re not doing that” – specifically, by responding to the Saturn’s $399 price tag by sending the US branch’s president up to the stage at E3 to say “$299” and walk off)
III. To Atari seeing the success of E. T. The Extraterrestrial in theaters in the summer of 1982; lobbying hard to get the license rights for the inevitable video game adaptation; getting those rights for a pretty penny so late in the year that they only had FIVE WEEKS to develop the game so it could be launched in time for Christmas; and leaving it up to one guy to make the game in that short time period, leading to an extremely-poorly-made game that not only basically scuppered Atari with its poor sales, but also nearly did the same to THE ENTIRE VIDEO GAME INDUSTRY by helping kick off the Video Game Crash of 1983 (and to Atari, desperate to get rid of returned product, discarding a bunch of unsold copies in concrete in the New Mexico desert – yes, that turned out not to be a myth)
So yes – the next time YOU make a poorly-thought-out decision? Just be grateful you can’t cause the damage to yourself a video game company can cause to itself. Unless you ARE a video game company, in which case LEARN FROM YOUR PEERS ALREADY.
*nods* Glad I got all that done, at least! But I have stayed up pretty late to tell you all about it, so I'd better get to bed now. Tomorrow, plans include working some more on my "VITD Timeline" post over on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler); figuring out a gift fic for Newt (who hasn't gotten back to me with any ideas yet) or working on Chapter 6 of "Londerland Bloodlines: Downtown Queensland" (gotta get that up sometime!); playing a bit of Fallout: New Vegas and seeing if I can discover some new places with Courier Victor; and getting in a workout, hopefully with the next episode of Jon's F:NV YOLO Remastered series. We'll see if those all work out -- night all!
