2026 Is Already Going Poorly
Jan. 2nd, 2026 11:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crossover_chickAs it turns out, the reason Dad's been feeling bad is because he has a cracked rib (fortunately, after some X-rays, they were able to confirm it hadn't separated -- though apparently that does mean he kind of just has to tough it out until it heals, which, bleh), and Mom had some fun stomach issues this eve (she was pretty sure lunch disagreed with her). And even I woke up earlier than I intended and couldn't get back to sleep -- though, uh, that doesn't seem to have worked out so badly, as I didn't feel particularly tired today. *shrug* I mean, I'll take it! Especially since it allowed me to accomplish the following:
Tumblr: ...I just realized that I never even looked at Valice Multiverse today. *shrug* Ah well – if there’s anything there, it will have to wait until tomorrow. I had a very busy day on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler), which saw me:
A) Complete and post this 2025 Writing Wrapped/Writer Wrap-Up meme that my buddy Newt tagged me in...which took most of the damn day because ye GODS I wrote a lot of fic in 2025. 61 fucking full pieces (admittedly most of them pretty short pieces for Multiamory March and Polyship Week 2025) and five chapters of larger works (including two updates to Not-Incorrect Quote collections)! Yeah, there are reasons I straight-up skipped answering the “word count” questions – collecting all the fics was tiring enough, even WITH the ability to link to two “masterposts” to cut down on the number of links I had to do! *shakehead* I am never thinking I don’t do enough writing ever again...anyway, please go read that just to justify the time I spent on it.
B) After finishing up my BG3 session today (see below), adding two new ideas for scenes to my upcoming “Valicer In The Dark Meets Baldur’s Gate III Not-Incorrect Quotes/Shitpost Collection Volume 3” post –
I. The trio talking to Timber the squirrel and saying that they have NO PROBLEM staying away from her tree and that they’re kind of terrified she lives in it...and then, seeing everyone else’s puzzled looks, going “...trees like that aren’t lethally poisonous to the touch here, are they?” (Everyone: “No, and again, what is wrong with your world”)
II. And Smiler, post-inadvisable-Volo-operation, sidling up to Wyll to get some tips on caring for a false eye (Wyll: “ALWAYS have some clean water that you can rinse it with, because grit WILL get in there and it WILL drive you mad”)
So that’s good – brings that collection one step closer to done! :)
Baldur’s Gate III: After the absurdly-long tumblr write-up, I was in the mood to hit Faerun this afternoon – so today I offer you the further adventures of Tav!Smiler and all their friends in the tiefling refugee camp! Which included:
A) Smiler and company heading back to the entrance of the Emerald Grove so I could have Smiler chat with Timber the squirrel (now that they were actually capable of doing that, thank you mod-added Amulet Of Lost Voices) via the high wooden walkway, stopping just a moment to chat with the guard up there, Ikaron (who simply said “We’ve known enough grief this tenday, traveller. Don’t be the cause of more.” *salutes* I will endeavor not to be, good sir! Smiler’s whole thing is encouraging happiness, after all!), and check out some of the other crates and the backpack scattered along the path to see if there was anything interesting in them. Turns out they were all empty – except, of course, for the Unusually Cold Crate with all its goodies I found earlier. I waffled for a moment again on whether or not I wanted to take the items – on the one hand, good items; on the other, tiefling stuff – then decided to resolve the conundrum later and continued on, past Arron’s shop and the statue of Silvanus, to the gate –
Where Lae’zel chose to comment that “These tieflings prove fragile. I’ve a mind to end their misery myself.” :O Lae’zel! And then Wyll replied, “Harsh. Remind me to stay on your good side,” only for Lae’zel to shoot back “You were never on my good side.” *shakehead* Girl is a real bitch sometimes during this early part of the game, it must be said! But it was nice to get some more intra-party banter...and it gave me an idea regarding that Unusually Cold Crate and its contents for later…
B) Smiler and company finding Timber frolicking in the grass by her tree – just over a natural log bridge to the left of the main gate, under the big spire of rock that the tiefling with the telescope, Nadira, is hanging out on – and Smiler going to initiate a conversation with the adorable fluffy red squirrel (seriously, she’s so cute) –
Only for Timber to tell them to “Get out!” and bite Smiler’s foot! Which didn’t actually do any damage (I think – I didn’t actually check Smiler’s temp hit points), but was still unpleasant! Smiler hopped backwards and told her “Calm down – I’m a friend” – only for Timber to retort that “You barged in without an invitation. I wouldn’t call that friendly.” Which – okay, fair enough, I’ll give her that. :P She then followed that up with “See, you’re in my territory. And I want you gone,” fur fluffed for a fight. Smiler, not wanting a fight (or to threaten a squirrel with annihilation, as per most of the other dialogue options available), opted to persuade Timber that “There’s plenty of room for both of us” –
And, with the help of Shadowheart’s Guidance and their own Friends cantrip (which I used partially because, huh, didn’t realize you could use it on ordinary animals – would have thought it was locked to humanoids and whatever the Strange Ox is), easily beat the DC 10 check with a dirty 20. Timber thus calmed down, telling Smiler they could stay so long as they kept those ugly feet of theirs on the ground, and even gave them some “weird-smelling stuff on the ground” she found to “sweeten the pot.” All she asked was that they stay out of her trees – “Follow the rules, and I won’t have to intervene. Got it?” Smiler did indeed get it, and Timber ran off, content –
Leaving behind a hyena ear! Which is an alchemy ingredient – combine three and you get some Ashes of Hyena Ear, which can be used in a Potion of Speed. Excellent – Smiler can always use more alchemy stuff. :) Thanks, Timber! Even better – after getting permission to roam from the squirrel (and Smiler tucking away their new hyena ear in their alchemy pouch and combining a few other ingredients), I had the group explore the grassy rocks just behind her tree and Nadira’s spire – and Smiler passed a Survival check and found a dirt pile to dig up! Which yielded a chest with two Potions of Healing, one Potion of Mind Reading, one Potion of Speed, and ten gold! :D Meaning heading over to Timber’s territory was quite lucrative indeed! This is why you never ignore even the littlest NPCs, people.
C) Smiler and company heading back around to the rear of the gate after finding nothing else of interest on the rocks, then up to the top of the gate and the little guard camp there, where they discovered Kanon’s corpse had been cleaned up, and Kaldani the guard sitting by the fire. Smiler struck up a conversation, and Kaldani commented on how Aradin had returned with his tail between his legs, and how, while she was glad for their help, she’d really hoped Smiler and company were Halsin. Smiler noted that it sounded like she’d crossed paths with Aradin before, and she replied a bit crossly, “Yeah, when he ran off with the druid who saved our hides the first time” before ending the conversation by noting the grove was rather less friendly with Halsin missing, as they would see. Smiler, taking the hint, left her to her brooding over how it’s “one crisis after another” (oh, MOOD, Kaldani) and went to investigate a nearby rock pile –
Only to discover it was a grave. Kanon’s grave, in fact, as confirmed by the marker erected above it: “Here lies Kanon. He gave his life defending others. He will be missed.” Awww...sounds like he really was loved by the camp. Sorry we never got to know you properly, Kanon! The perils of being a character destined to die in a cutscene!
D) Smiler and company then returning to the Hollow, where – after swapping control to Lae’zel for a moment to have her take the Silken Scarf of Comfort, Arrow of Ice, trap disarming kit, blue dye, and three Elixirs of Cold Resistance out of the Unusually Cold Crate (because I figured, if she’s that happy to diss the tieflings, she would probably be okay with taking their stuff as well – I’m not going to have her actually steal anything, that’s a bridge too far, but unowned stuff that can be picked up around the world that could be reasonably be seen as belonging to the tieflings? Yeah, she can have that stuff) – I had Smiler lead the gang over to where one of the tiefling children, Doni, was hanging out near the training area (right next to Guex’s constant attacks on the training dummy, in fact). Smiler’s attempt at starting a conversation got a grunt and a comment from the narrator that “He stares right past you as if you’re invisible. Or boring.” XD Having already met one child thief, Smiler resisted turning to see what he was looking at and just asked if Doni was all right, which got a vaguely affirmative grunt. Smiler playfully went “I see. Anything else on your mind?” which got a third grunt and the narrator noting he was still staring right past Smiler. With no more dialogue options, Smiler succumbed to temptation and looked over their shoulder, to see nothing of interest –
And, one failed Wisdom (Perception) check later, when they turned back, Doni had disappeared. Poor Smiler looked so baffled when they discovered this. XD I’m pretty sure Doni slips down a secret entrance into the tiefling kids’ lair when this happens, but you only find that out if you make the check, so...it’ll remain a mystery to Smiler for now! At least he didn’t nick anything out of Smiler’s inventory on the way.
E) Smiler and company continuing along the path, stopping at a nearby wagon to look at what was in and around it (one empty crate, one locked crate, one crate with some tools and rope inside, and a pair of metallic gloves – didn’t grab those at the time, but Lae’zel may pick them up later, they offer +1 on Strength Saving Throws), before coming across a pair of tiefling children, Mattis and Silfy, talking about tricks and such, outside a little makeshift shop stall selling all sorts of junk. Smiler stepped up to say hi to Mattis, who seemed to be the proprietor, and the kid promptly told them to hold out their hand so he could show them something. They then performed a neat little bit of sleight-of-hand to make a ring appear out of seemingly-nowhere. They offered the ring to Smiler, saying it was lucky – Smiler noted that they’d pulled off a fancy trick, and Mattis assured them “You haven’t seen anything yet!” before urging them to take the ring “and watch your fortune change!” Smiler, amused, indulged the kid and took the ring, and Mattis promptly produced a coin and asked Smiler to call it. Smiler called heads –
And it was indeed heads! Mattis said “See? That’s the kind of luck you get from just one of my lucky rings!” before telling Smiler they had more where that came from, and real cheap too. Smiler, still amused, held off on asking to see the kid’s wares (or telling them that “I’m a warlock and I can tell these runes are rubbish”) and instead pointed out that one coin toss didn’t prove anything about the luckiness of the ring. Mattis allowed that was fair and did another coin flip, asking Smiler to call it. Smiler called tails this time –
And tails it came up as! Mattis asked if they were happy, but Smiler insisted he flip the coin again, to his mild frustration. Fortunately for Mattis’s sanity, Smiler was willing to let it go after successfully calling the third coin flip (tails again), and when Mattis asked if they were happy this time, they said, “I am indeed. I’ve got a free ring.” Mattis was like “Hey, wait, you gotta pay for that!” and Smiler, having had their fun, handed it back and asked to see what was for sale –
Failing a Wisdom (Perception) check along the way that might have made them realize they hadn’t seen the other tiefling kid for a bit. *facepalm* Smiler, I gave you higher Wisdom in this run for a REASON – though I guess I did give you a skill proficiency in INSIGHT and not Perception. Still, come on – work with me here.
F) Smiler and company thus looking at Mattis’s wares – and discovering something shocking. Namely, among the random junk, surprisingly large amount of food, book “Tarbell’s Guide to Distractions” (hah), and fake magic rings – including the “Ring Of Resistance To Ants,” which has as its stone a glob of tree sap covered in dead ants, and the “Ring of the Lekinesus,” which has a small pebble attached to it with fishing line to make it looks like it gives you discount telekinesis – Mattis had two real magic rings! I think one of my mods must have added them to his inventory! One ring was all about empowering unarmed attacks and thus wasn’t particularly useful to me at the moment (as none of my characters focus on unarmed fighting) –
But the other, the “Feywild’s Kiss,” seemed worth the gold to buy, as it both makes it easier to succeed Death Saving Throws and adds a +1 bonus to the wearer’s spell save DC. The one problem was, it was 180 gold to buy – and the party only had like 166 gold on them. *wince* Cue me going through everyone’s inventories and selling a trio of colorful jugs, the bottle of blue dye Lae’zel just picked up, a wooden bowl, a pewter cup, a bloodstone, an onyx ring, three quills, and an inkwell to have enough money to buy the ring for “lowest HP in the group” Smiler. Left them with 34 gold total, ow. *double wince* Need to get these guys into a fight to pick up some more weapons to Dammon! At least Mattis was very pleased, noting most people just say his stuff is junk and move on. Well, those people don’t know how to identify genuine magic rings, then!
G) Smiler and company getting ready to wrap up their shopping trip – only for Smiler to succeed a Wisdom (Perception) check (finally!) and feel something moving against their back! Turning, they spotted Silfy (who, as per the wiki, is Mattis’s sister, neat) attempting to grab something out of their bags. She promptly started crying when spotted, looking genuinely upset –
But Smiler, who was aware those could be crocodile tears, decided to use the power to Detect Thoughts granted to them by chugging a potion of same a few sessions ago to read her mind and see what she was really thinking. After getting a 17 against the DC 10 check, Smiler was able to see in her mind her hand in their bag –
And the shame in her heart. Seemed the poor tyke was genuinely remorseful. Smiler noted that “Something tells me the thieving life isn’t for you,” causing poor Silfy to cry that she couldn’t do this anymore, apologize to Mattis, and run off into the gang’s secret hideout. Awwww… Smiler turned back to Mattis, who awkwardly asked if they wanted to trade, and pointed out that his partner was a thief –
Only for Mattis to go “Yeah, I know. I was standing right here, telling her to rob you.” :O The cheek! Smiler replied “You could at least PRETEND to be sorry,” only for Mattis to inform them that they were sorry – “sorry we’re still talking about this.” He then allowed that they caught Silfy fair and square, which meant they weren’t a chump like the others around, before saying “Now do me a favour. Make room for the chumps.” XD Oh Mattis...ah well, they are kids trying to get by in a big cruel grown-up world. Smiler isn’t going to hold it against them. Hopefully if they see Silfy again, they can reassure her they’re not mad. (Though, uh, given the wiki indicates the kids can GENUINELY steal your inventory, I’m going to have to double-check she didn’t make off with anything next time I play! I THINK you have to fail the check Smiler passed before they can actually get anything, but – we’ll see.)
And that’s where I left it, with the gang hanging out outside Mattis’s little shop, preventing any chumps from showing up. XD Which happens to be just around the corner from where a pair of tiefling parents are arguing with some of the local druids...next time, I think we’ll check that out, and maybe check in with a certain bitch of a druid-in-charge. Gotta get the main plot quests sorted at some point! :P (Though I do want to take a long rest before checking in with Nettie so I can make sure to get as many of my camp cutscenes as possible. Got that mod for a reason!)
Workout: Took my last ride on the stationary bike tonight, getting through:
A) The end of “Blades in the Dark RETURNS! 🎁 | Oxventure Holiday Special - The Effugium Contract” by Oxventure! The grand finale chunk of the special featured:
I. Troy responding to his older brother demonstrating his magical powers by flavoring his sinuses with, essentially, chili powder, with a “magic spell” of his own – a kick in the crotch. Johnny happily accepted the Level 1 harm that resulted, and Luke noted this was probably one of the most accurate sibling dynamics any of them had ever seen played out in an RPG. XD
II. Barnaby encountering Oswin Fry racing up to the deck of the ship and finding himself utterly ignored when he tried to get the guy’s attention; undeterred, he followed Oswin up (against the flow of terrified rich people trying to get below-decks) and found a bunch of other terrified rich people clinging to whatever they could grab as – judging by the description – an adolescent dragon “played” with the airship – swooping in and grabbing it, then launching itself off the side to do it all again. Barnaby being Barnaby, he promptly grabbed hold of something with the hand NOT holding his drink. Because, you know, he wasn’t about to drop THAT. XD Cue Luke asking him to roll to keep his balance and his grip, Mike being like “shame the Sway roll doesn’t cover this kind of swaying” –
And Luke loving the play on words so much he let Mike roll it as Sway anyway. XD Though I would like to point out that Barnaby, as per the end of original series, does have the special ability “Rook’s Gambit,” which allows you to use your highest-ranked action for any roll so long as you can justify it – and this being Oxventure, I think a pun is more than enough justification. So this was supported mechanically as well! I just think that’s neat. :D
III. The Crawford Quartet arriving on the deck to see the chaos (including the fact that the guards, who have been firing everything they’ve got at the dragon under the command of Oswin, had managed to wound the creature enough to start genuinely angering it), and having to make their own roll to stay steady and find something to grab hold of – and everyone making the roll except for poor Gabriel, who ended up sliding down the deck and smashing into something metal very painfully, ouch. He was able to use his “special armor” to absorb some of the damage (calling it a padded doublet), but still. *shakehead* That’s what you get for spicing your sibling’s nose, dude!
IV. Troy using a flashback to acquire a jar of clarified butter from the Bacchanalatorium from their previous visit and launching it at Oswin as the deck shook – he scored a direct hit on the guy’s back, making him nice and slippery and sending him flying down the deck. Gabe, seeing his chance, stuck out a hand and used his “Savage” special ability to intimidate Oswin into grabbing it (as Oswin was hesitating due to Gabe being, well, a musician) –
Then pulled him close and hissed “Uncle Merton says hello” into the guy’s ear before sending him sliding toward the side. Admittedly, the effect was somewhat ruined by Luke establishing that Oswin had no memory of who Uncle Merton was (forcing Gabriel to quickly explain “the meat guy” while throwing Oswin to his death) AND by Johnny only rolling a success with a complication, meaning Oswin managed to stab poor Gabe with a knife in the ribs before being flung away. But a success with a complication is still a success, so Oswin got caught up in a capstan, flung around (“like a Catherine wheel,” as Johnny moaned XD), and smashed head-first against the railing before going off the side. And, as a bonus, his falling buttery corpse got the young dragon’s attention, and it gave up its attack on the ship to go snatch the tasty treat out of the air and fly off. Hooray!
V. Our heroes reconvening and Barnaby asking the Quartet if they found out anything (as, obviously, he could no longer ask Oswin what the hell was going on) – cue Troy saying “Big blue hands,” and Barnaby being nonplussed. XD Winnie fortunately was able to explain the situation in more detail – ecological anarchists being forced to use their magic powers (aka the big blue hands) to hold the airship up and move it about and whatnot – and Barnaby admitted they should probably free them...at least, that’s what his friends would say. XD Gabe proposed a mutiny, the others agreed, and they headed back down to the “engine room” and the boxes of concentrating people –
Well, after Troy took a little detour through the upper-class cabins to grab all the good loot he could and stuff it into a sack with a big dollar sign on the side. And then went and put a few things back after Barnaby asked him to avoid room 103, please. XD Well, I guess they ARE petty thieves – might as well get while the getting is good!
VI. Everyone arriving in the “engine room” and taking a gander at the boxes of ecological anarchists – where, after some discussion about how they were going to get these folks to set them down gently so they could free them without, you know, dying horribly, the group found a navigator at the very end of the farthest box, who apparently directed operations via a complex system of levers and speaking tubes. The guy was desperately still trying to do his job despite all the chaos, but the moment the group explained that they were doing a mutiny, he was all too willing to switch sides to the mutineers. If only to keep himself alive – he swore that he’d “probably” fight back if they tried to kill him (Winnie: “Awww.” Navigator: “Don’t you ‘awww’ me.” XD). They got him to explain what was going on – apparently the Minister had noticed the useful powers of the ecological anarchists and tricked them into helping power the airship with false promises of a place in his “new utopia”… except that there was no new utopia, as the navigator revealed that they were just going around in circles, with the idea being that they’d stay on the airship forever enjoying themselves (with the occasional landing, or perhaps bucket-lowering, to gather supplies, like more clarified butter). Troy was disgusted and demanded they bring the airship back to Elessia so they could make the ruling elite like the Minister actually do their damn jobs, and the navigator agreed after getting a promise from Gabe that nobody would be coming to kill him should he do so (I think it also helped that Barnaby told him Oswin Fry was dead, having “got rather too into the butter” – the navigator was very sad to learn there had been another death in the Bacchanalatorium XD).
VII. The adventure ending with the airship returning to Elessia and the rich folks forced to deal with its problems (and the ecological anarchists presumably freed); the Quartet plus Barnaby returning to The Setting Scene to let Merton know the deed was done (and to hear about his latest engagement); Troy deciding that what the city really needed was a new government and deciding to run for office to help change things (Barnaby remarked it was much easier to just own all the newspapers, and Troy telling him “well that’s where you come in!”); and Gabe burning his last two stress boxes to spice Eliza and Winnie’s noses for funsies – then going ahead and taking a Trauma to spice Barnaby’s margarita at his request. Said Trauma was “Obsessed,” and what Gabriel was obsessed with was spicing people’s noses. XD The perfect way to end the latest BITD Oxventure, in my opinion! So glad I realized it existed. Now to catch up with the REST of the various campaigns and one-shots I’ve missed…
B) And the entirety of “Top 10 Minthara's Biggest Roasts in Baldur's Gate 3” by DragonsDream! A compilation of excellent roasts from your potential drow companion Minthara, ranging from asking if the player character will be “bringing dead rats and birds to my tent now that we share a camp” if you tell her you were trying to impress her by helping her kill all the tieflings in the grove, to telling the player character that if they can’t see the charm in bloodshed, perhaps they should retire to farm root vegetables when they comment that she has a different definition of “charming” than they do (hers includes a city having murders, oppression, and conspiracies), to her famous companion banter utterly DECIMATING poor Gale (telling him that in her home city, all sons after the second are killed at birth as they have no use in the intensely evilly-matriarchal drow society – then saying he has the aura of a third son about him). XD You know what, the player being able to get her as a companion even on a good-aligned run (she used to be exclusive to people taking the evil route through the game) may be the result of Larian deciding to bend to fan opinion to look “cool” and “relatable,” but god damn if she isn’t well-written and very funny. XD Meaning that, yes, I’ll be taking advantage of the ability to recruit her on Smiler’s run. I just want those pithy one-liners, damn it!
Writing: Squeezed in writing the rough draft of Moose’s birthday gift fic tonight, right before I started chatting with my friend Squid! Because I had to get on that, as her birthday is next week, don’t you know. :p I won’t say too much here because, you know, spoilers, but I will say that it involves your new favorite Weird Video Game Triangle, Moose. :p Hopefully you enjoy it when I post the finished version next Saturday!
YouTube: Didn’t have much time to watch videos tonight, between finishing off all my write-ups above and Game Night (Yahtzee – I won the first game with a lucky Yahtzee, then Dad proceeded to cream Mom and me in the next three games. Well, mostly – the third game he won by a single point over me. But he still won!), but I was able to fit in one Short that intrigued me when I saw it recommended: “Here's Why Karlach Isn't on the BG3 Poster” by Fall Damage! Featuring Karlach’s voice actor, Samantha Béart, reacting to a comment angrily going on about how Karlach isn’t featured on the Baldur’s Gate III poster/splash screen but Wyll’s horrible patron Mizora IS (they also complained about that “twink vampire” being front and center but – well, there was no way Astarion wasn’t getting the prime spot on that screen!). Samantha’s thoughts on the matter consisted of:
A) Reminding the commenter that Mizora is Wyll’s warlock patron, and maybe that poster was from a timeline where Karlach ended up killed by Wyll (because that IS a thing that can happen – as you may remember from my Smiler playthrough, when you first meet Wyll, he’s been tricked into thinking Karlach is a dangerous devil, not a tiefling on the run, and is determined to kill her – you have to talk him out of it when you meet her)
B) Saying that when she’s in a diplomatic mood, she says that Karlach was the one taking the picture of everyone
C) Wondering aloud if the issue is they just used the Early Access version of the poster and never bothered to try and update it (which is what I think, and what some of the other commenters indicated may be the case)
D) Admitting there were no discussions to update the poster that she can talk about, but that she goes “justice restored” whenever she sees a splash screen modded to have Karlach in it
*nods* Yeah – it is pretty unfair that her character doesn’t get to be on the splash screen! Like, I get that her status as a companion is supposed to be a bit of a twist...but the game’s been out two years, most people know she can be recruited, update the damn splash screen. *shakehead* Meeeeh. Larian disappointing us again!
And there we have it! Not a bad final Friday off, I suppose. Though yeah, that wrap-up post took absolute AGES. I seriously didn't realize I'd written THAT MUCH. Yikes. *shakehead* Anyway, I really do need to hit the sheets now -- tomorrow's a Cleaning Saturday, and I'm HOPING I can get most of it done before lunch. We'll see what happens, of course...other goals of the day include finally getting Fallout: New Vegas and the "Viva New Vegas" modlist installed; writing something self-indulgent just for me to help finish out my time off; and probably keeping up with the latest CaFae Latte compilation video! And doing a list of fanfic New Year's Resolutions on tumblr, if I have time. We'll see. Night all!
Tumblr: ...I just realized that I never even looked at Valice Multiverse today. *shrug* Ah well – if there’s anything there, it will have to wait until tomorrow. I had a very busy day on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler), which saw me:
A) Complete and post this 2025 Writing Wrapped/Writer Wrap-Up meme that my buddy Newt tagged me in...which took most of the damn day because ye GODS I wrote a lot of fic in 2025. 61 fucking full pieces (admittedly most of them pretty short pieces for Multiamory March and Polyship Week 2025) and five chapters of larger works (including two updates to Not-Incorrect Quote collections)! Yeah, there are reasons I straight-up skipped answering the “word count” questions – collecting all the fics was tiring enough, even WITH the ability to link to two “masterposts” to cut down on the number of links I had to do! *shakehead* I am never thinking I don’t do enough writing ever again...anyway, please go read that just to justify the time I spent on it.
B) After finishing up my BG3 session today (see below), adding two new ideas for scenes to my upcoming “Valicer In The Dark Meets Baldur’s Gate III Not-Incorrect Quotes/Shitpost Collection Volume 3” post –
I. The trio talking to Timber the squirrel and saying that they have NO PROBLEM staying away from her tree and that they’re kind of terrified she lives in it...and then, seeing everyone else’s puzzled looks, going “...trees like that aren’t lethally poisonous to the touch here, are they?” (Everyone: “No, and again, what is wrong with your world”)
II. And Smiler, post-inadvisable-Volo-operation, sidling up to Wyll to get some tips on caring for a false eye (Wyll: “ALWAYS have some clean water that you can rinse it with, because grit WILL get in there and it WILL drive you mad”)
So that’s good – brings that collection one step closer to done! :)
Baldur’s Gate III: After the absurdly-long tumblr write-up, I was in the mood to hit Faerun this afternoon – so today I offer you the further adventures of Tav!Smiler and all their friends in the tiefling refugee camp! Which included:
A) Smiler and company heading back to the entrance of the Emerald Grove so I could have Smiler chat with Timber the squirrel (now that they were actually capable of doing that, thank you mod-added Amulet Of Lost Voices) via the high wooden walkway, stopping just a moment to chat with the guard up there, Ikaron (who simply said “We’ve known enough grief this tenday, traveller. Don’t be the cause of more.” *salutes* I will endeavor not to be, good sir! Smiler’s whole thing is encouraging happiness, after all!), and check out some of the other crates and the backpack scattered along the path to see if there was anything interesting in them. Turns out they were all empty – except, of course, for the Unusually Cold Crate with all its goodies I found earlier. I waffled for a moment again on whether or not I wanted to take the items – on the one hand, good items; on the other, tiefling stuff – then decided to resolve the conundrum later and continued on, past Arron’s shop and the statue of Silvanus, to the gate –
Where Lae’zel chose to comment that “These tieflings prove fragile. I’ve a mind to end their misery myself.” :O Lae’zel! And then Wyll replied, “Harsh. Remind me to stay on your good side,” only for Lae’zel to shoot back “You were never on my good side.” *shakehead* Girl is a real bitch sometimes during this early part of the game, it must be said! But it was nice to get some more intra-party banter...and it gave me an idea regarding that Unusually Cold Crate and its contents for later…
B) Smiler and company finding Timber frolicking in the grass by her tree – just over a natural log bridge to the left of the main gate, under the big spire of rock that the tiefling with the telescope, Nadira, is hanging out on – and Smiler going to initiate a conversation with the adorable fluffy red squirrel (seriously, she’s so cute) –
Only for Timber to tell them to “Get out!” and bite Smiler’s foot! Which didn’t actually do any damage (I think – I didn’t actually check Smiler’s temp hit points), but was still unpleasant! Smiler hopped backwards and told her “Calm down – I’m a friend” – only for Timber to retort that “You barged in without an invitation. I wouldn’t call that friendly.” Which – okay, fair enough, I’ll give her that. :P She then followed that up with “See, you’re in my territory. And I want you gone,” fur fluffed for a fight. Smiler, not wanting a fight (or to threaten a squirrel with annihilation, as per most of the other dialogue options available), opted to persuade Timber that “There’s plenty of room for both of us” –
And, with the help of Shadowheart’s Guidance and their own Friends cantrip (which I used partially because, huh, didn’t realize you could use it on ordinary animals – would have thought it was locked to humanoids and whatever the Strange Ox is), easily beat the DC 10 check with a dirty 20. Timber thus calmed down, telling Smiler they could stay so long as they kept those ugly feet of theirs on the ground, and even gave them some “weird-smelling stuff on the ground” she found to “sweeten the pot.” All she asked was that they stay out of her trees – “Follow the rules, and I won’t have to intervene. Got it?” Smiler did indeed get it, and Timber ran off, content –
Leaving behind a hyena ear! Which is an alchemy ingredient – combine three and you get some Ashes of Hyena Ear, which can be used in a Potion of Speed. Excellent – Smiler can always use more alchemy stuff. :) Thanks, Timber! Even better – after getting permission to roam from the squirrel (and Smiler tucking away their new hyena ear in their alchemy pouch and combining a few other ingredients), I had the group explore the grassy rocks just behind her tree and Nadira’s spire – and Smiler passed a Survival check and found a dirt pile to dig up! Which yielded a chest with two Potions of Healing, one Potion of Mind Reading, one Potion of Speed, and ten gold! :D Meaning heading over to Timber’s territory was quite lucrative indeed! This is why you never ignore even the littlest NPCs, people.
C) Smiler and company heading back around to the rear of the gate after finding nothing else of interest on the rocks, then up to the top of the gate and the little guard camp there, where they discovered Kanon’s corpse had been cleaned up, and Kaldani the guard sitting by the fire. Smiler struck up a conversation, and Kaldani commented on how Aradin had returned with his tail between his legs, and how, while she was glad for their help, she’d really hoped Smiler and company were Halsin. Smiler noted that it sounded like she’d crossed paths with Aradin before, and she replied a bit crossly, “Yeah, when he ran off with the druid who saved our hides the first time” before ending the conversation by noting the grove was rather less friendly with Halsin missing, as they would see. Smiler, taking the hint, left her to her brooding over how it’s “one crisis after another” (oh, MOOD, Kaldani) and went to investigate a nearby rock pile –
Only to discover it was a grave. Kanon’s grave, in fact, as confirmed by the marker erected above it: “Here lies Kanon. He gave his life defending others. He will be missed.” Awww...sounds like he really was loved by the camp. Sorry we never got to know you properly, Kanon! The perils of being a character destined to die in a cutscene!
D) Smiler and company then returning to the Hollow, where – after swapping control to Lae’zel for a moment to have her take the Silken Scarf of Comfort, Arrow of Ice, trap disarming kit, blue dye, and three Elixirs of Cold Resistance out of the Unusually Cold Crate (because I figured, if she’s that happy to diss the tieflings, she would probably be okay with taking their stuff as well – I’m not going to have her actually steal anything, that’s a bridge too far, but unowned stuff that can be picked up around the world that could be reasonably be seen as belonging to the tieflings? Yeah, she can have that stuff) – I had Smiler lead the gang over to where one of the tiefling children, Doni, was hanging out near the training area (right next to Guex’s constant attacks on the training dummy, in fact). Smiler’s attempt at starting a conversation got a grunt and a comment from the narrator that “He stares right past you as if you’re invisible. Or boring.” XD Having already met one child thief, Smiler resisted turning to see what he was looking at and just asked if Doni was all right, which got a vaguely affirmative grunt. Smiler playfully went “I see. Anything else on your mind?” which got a third grunt and the narrator noting he was still staring right past Smiler. With no more dialogue options, Smiler succumbed to temptation and looked over their shoulder, to see nothing of interest –
And, one failed Wisdom (Perception) check later, when they turned back, Doni had disappeared. Poor Smiler looked so baffled when they discovered this. XD I’m pretty sure Doni slips down a secret entrance into the tiefling kids’ lair when this happens, but you only find that out if you make the check, so...it’ll remain a mystery to Smiler for now! At least he didn’t nick anything out of Smiler’s inventory on the way.
E) Smiler and company continuing along the path, stopping at a nearby wagon to look at what was in and around it (one empty crate, one locked crate, one crate with some tools and rope inside, and a pair of metallic gloves – didn’t grab those at the time, but Lae’zel may pick them up later, they offer +1 on Strength Saving Throws), before coming across a pair of tiefling children, Mattis and Silfy, talking about tricks and such, outside a little makeshift shop stall selling all sorts of junk. Smiler stepped up to say hi to Mattis, who seemed to be the proprietor, and the kid promptly told them to hold out their hand so he could show them something. They then performed a neat little bit of sleight-of-hand to make a ring appear out of seemingly-nowhere. They offered the ring to Smiler, saying it was lucky – Smiler noted that they’d pulled off a fancy trick, and Mattis assured them “You haven’t seen anything yet!” before urging them to take the ring “and watch your fortune change!” Smiler, amused, indulged the kid and took the ring, and Mattis promptly produced a coin and asked Smiler to call it. Smiler called heads –
And it was indeed heads! Mattis said “See? That’s the kind of luck you get from just one of my lucky rings!” before telling Smiler they had more where that came from, and real cheap too. Smiler, still amused, held off on asking to see the kid’s wares (or telling them that “I’m a warlock and I can tell these runes are rubbish”) and instead pointed out that one coin toss didn’t prove anything about the luckiness of the ring. Mattis allowed that was fair and did another coin flip, asking Smiler to call it. Smiler called tails this time –
And tails it came up as! Mattis asked if they were happy, but Smiler insisted he flip the coin again, to his mild frustration. Fortunately for Mattis’s sanity, Smiler was willing to let it go after successfully calling the third coin flip (tails again), and when Mattis asked if they were happy this time, they said, “I am indeed. I’ve got a free ring.” Mattis was like “Hey, wait, you gotta pay for that!” and Smiler, having had their fun, handed it back and asked to see what was for sale –
Failing a Wisdom (Perception) check along the way that might have made them realize they hadn’t seen the other tiefling kid for a bit. *facepalm* Smiler, I gave you higher Wisdom in this run for a REASON – though I guess I did give you a skill proficiency in INSIGHT and not Perception. Still, come on – work with me here.
F) Smiler and company thus looking at Mattis’s wares – and discovering something shocking. Namely, among the random junk, surprisingly large amount of food, book “Tarbell’s Guide to Distractions” (hah), and fake magic rings – including the “Ring Of Resistance To Ants,” which has as its stone a glob of tree sap covered in dead ants, and the “Ring of the Lekinesus,” which has a small pebble attached to it with fishing line to make it looks like it gives you discount telekinesis – Mattis had two real magic rings! I think one of my mods must have added them to his inventory! One ring was all about empowering unarmed attacks and thus wasn’t particularly useful to me at the moment (as none of my characters focus on unarmed fighting) –
But the other, the “Feywild’s Kiss,” seemed worth the gold to buy, as it both makes it easier to succeed Death Saving Throws and adds a +1 bonus to the wearer’s spell save DC. The one problem was, it was 180 gold to buy – and the party only had like 166 gold on them. *wince* Cue me going through everyone’s inventories and selling a trio of colorful jugs, the bottle of blue dye Lae’zel just picked up, a wooden bowl, a pewter cup, a bloodstone, an onyx ring, three quills, and an inkwell to have enough money to buy the ring for “lowest HP in the group” Smiler. Left them with 34 gold total, ow. *double wince* Need to get these guys into a fight to pick up some more weapons to Dammon! At least Mattis was very pleased, noting most people just say his stuff is junk and move on. Well, those people don’t know how to identify genuine magic rings, then!
G) Smiler and company getting ready to wrap up their shopping trip – only for Smiler to succeed a Wisdom (Perception) check (finally!) and feel something moving against their back! Turning, they spotted Silfy (who, as per the wiki, is Mattis’s sister, neat) attempting to grab something out of their bags. She promptly started crying when spotted, looking genuinely upset –
But Smiler, who was aware those could be crocodile tears, decided to use the power to Detect Thoughts granted to them by chugging a potion of same a few sessions ago to read her mind and see what she was really thinking. After getting a 17 against the DC 10 check, Smiler was able to see in her mind her hand in their bag –
And the shame in her heart. Seemed the poor tyke was genuinely remorseful. Smiler noted that “Something tells me the thieving life isn’t for you,” causing poor Silfy to cry that she couldn’t do this anymore, apologize to Mattis, and run off into the gang’s secret hideout. Awwww… Smiler turned back to Mattis, who awkwardly asked if they wanted to trade, and pointed out that his partner was a thief –
Only for Mattis to go “Yeah, I know. I was standing right here, telling her to rob you.” :O The cheek! Smiler replied “You could at least PRETEND to be sorry,” only for Mattis to inform them that they were sorry – “sorry we’re still talking about this.” He then allowed that they caught Silfy fair and square, which meant they weren’t a chump like the others around, before saying “Now do me a favour. Make room for the chumps.” XD Oh Mattis...ah well, they are kids trying to get by in a big cruel grown-up world. Smiler isn’t going to hold it against them. Hopefully if they see Silfy again, they can reassure her they’re not mad. (Though, uh, given the wiki indicates the kids can GENUINELY steal your inventory, I’m going to have to double-check she didn’t make off with anything next time I play! I THINK you have to fail the check Smiler passed before they can actually get anything, but – we’ll see.)
And that’s where I left it, with the gang hanging out outside Mattis’s little shop, preventing any chumps from showing up. XD Which happens to be just around the corner from where a pair of tiefling parents are arguing with some of the local druids...next time, I think we’ll check that out, and maybe check in with a certain bitch of a druid-in-charge. Gotta get the main plot quests sorted at some point! :P (Though I do want to take a long rest before checking in with Nettie so I can make sure to get as many of my camp cutscenes as possible. Got that mod for a reason!)
Workout: Took my last ride on the stationary bike tonight, getting through:
A) The end of “Blades in the Dark RETURNS! 🎁 | Oxventure Holiday Special - The Effugium Contract” by Oxventure! The grand finale chunk of the special featured:
I. Troy responding to his older brother demonstrating his magical powers by flavoring his sinuses with, essentially, chili powder, with a “magic spell” of his own – a kick in the crotch. Johnny happily accepted the Level 1 harm that resulted, and Luke noted this was probably one of the most accurate sibling dynamics any of them had ever seen played out in an RPG. XD
II. Barnaby encountering Oswin Fry racing up to the deck of the ship and finding himself utterly ignored when he tried to get the guy’s attention; undeterred, he followed Oswin up (against the flow of terrified rich people trying to get below-decks) and found a bunch of other terrified rich people clinging to whatever they could grab as – judging by the description – an adolescent dragon “played” with the airship – swooping in and grabbing it, then launching itself off the side to do it all again. Barnaby being Barnaby, he promptly grabbed hold of something with the hand NOT holding his drink. Because, you know, he wasn’t about to drop THAT. XD Cue Luke asking him to roll to keep his balance and his grip, Mike being like “shame the Sway roll doesn’t cover this kind of swaying” –
And Luke loving the play on words so much he let Mike roll it as Sway anyway. XD Though I would like to point out that Barnaby, as per the end of original series, does have the special ability “Rook’s Gambit,” which allows you to use your highest-ranked action for any roll so long as you can justify it – and this being Oxventure, I think a pun is more than enough justification. So this was supported mechanically as well! I just think that’s neat. :D
III. The Crawford Quartet arriving on the deck to see the chaos (including the fact that the guards, who have been firing everything they’ve got at the dragon under the command of Oswin, had managed to wound the creature enough to start genuinely angering it), and having to make their own roll to stay steady and find something to grab hold of – and everyone making the roll except for poor Gabriel, who ended up sliding down the deck and smashing into something metal very painfully, ouch. He was able to use his “special armor” to absorb some of the damage (calling it a padded doublet), but still. *shakehead* That’s what you get for spicing your sibling’s nose, dude!
IV. Troy using a flashback to acquire a jar of clarified butter from the Bacchanalatorium from their previous visit and launching it at Oswin as the deck shook – he scored a direct hit on the guy’s back, making him nice and slippery and sending him flying down the deck. Gabe, seeing his chance, stuck out a hand and used his “Savage” special ability to intimidate Oswin into grabbing it (as Oswin was hesitating due to Gabe being, well, a musician) –
Then pulled him close and hissed “Uncle Merton says hello” into the guy’s ear before sending him sliding toward the side. Admittedly, the effect was somewhat ruined by Luke establishing that Oswin had no memory of who Uncle Merton was (forcing Gabriel to quickly explain “the meat guy” while throwing Oswin to his death) AND by Johnny only rolling a success with a complication, meaning Oswin managed to stab poor Gabe with a knife in the ribs before being flung away. But a success with a complication is still a success, so Oswin got caught up in a capstan, flung around (“like a Catherine wheel,” as Johnny moaned XD), and smashed head-first against the railing before going off the side. And, as a bonus, his falling buttery corpse got the young dragon’s attention, and it gave up its attack on the ship to go snatch the tasty treat out of the air and fly off. Hooray!
V. Our heroes reconvening and Barnaby asking the Quartet if they found out anything (as, obviously, he could no longer ask Oswin what the hell was going on) – cue Troy saying “Big blue hands,” and Barnaby being nonplussed. XD Winnie fortunately was able to explain the situation in more detail – ecological anarchists being forced to use their magic powers (aka the big blue hands) to hold the airship up and move it about and whatnot – and Barnaby admitted they should probably free them...at least, that’s what his friends would say. XD Gabe proposed a mutiny, the others agreed, and they headed back down to the “engine room” and the boxes of concentrating people –
Well, after Troy took a little detour through the upper-class cabins to grab all the good loot he could and stuff it into a sack with a big dollar sign on the side. And then went and put a few things back after Barnaby asked him to avoid room 103, please. XD Well, I guess they ARE petty thieves – might as well get while the getting is good!
VI. Everyone arriving in the “engine room” and taking a gander at the boxes of ecological anarchists – where, after some discussion about how they were going to get these folks to set them down gently so they could free them without, you know, dying horribly, the group found a navigator at the very end of the farthest box, who apparently directed operations via a complex system of levers and speaking tubes. The guy was desperately still trying to do his job despite all the chaos, but the moment the group explained that they were doing a mutiny, he was all too willing to switch sides to the mutineers. If only to keep himself alive – he swore that he’d “probably” fight back if they tried to kill him (Winnie: “Awww.” Navigator: “Don’t you ‘awww’ me.” XD). They got him to explain what was going on – apparently the Minister had noticed the useful powers of the ecological anarchists and tricked them into helping power the airship with false promises of a place in his “new utopia”… except that there was no new utopia, as the navigator revealed that they were just going around in circles, with the idea being that they’d stay on the airship forever enjoying themselves (with the occasional landing, or perhaps bucket-lowering, to gather supplies, like more clarified butter). Troy was disgusted and demanded they bring the airship back to Elessia so they could make the ruling elite like the Minister actually do their damn jobs, and the navigator agreed after getting a promise from Gabe that nobody would be coming to kill him should he do so (I think it also helped that Barnaby told him Oswin Fry was dead, having “got rather too into the butter” – the navigator was very sad to learn there had been another death in the Bacchanalatorium XD).
VII. The adventure ending with the airship returning to Elessia and the rich folks forced to deal with its problems (and the ecological anarchists presumably freed); the Quartet plus Barnaby returning to The Setting Scene to let Merton know the deed was done (and to hear about his latest engagement); Troy deciding that what the city really needed was a new government and deciding to run for office to help change things (Barnaby remarked it was much easier to just own all the newspapers, and Troy telling him “well that’s where you come in!”); and Gabe burning his last two stress boxes to spice Eliza and Winnie’s noses for funsies – then going ahead and taking a Trauma to spice Barnaby’s margarita at his request. Said Trauma was “Obsessed,” and what Gabriel was obsessed with was spicing people’s noses. XD The perfect way to end the latest BITD Oxventure, in my opinion! So glad I realized it existed. Now to catch up with the REST of the various campaigns and one-shots I’ve missed…
B) And the entirety of “Top 10 Minthara's Biggest Roasts in Baldur's Gate 3” by DragonsDream! A compilation of excellent roasts from your potential drow companion Minthara, ranging from asking if the player character will be “bringing dead rats and birds to my tent now that we share a camp” if you tell her you were trying to impress her by helping her kill all the tieflings in the grove, to telling the player character that if they can’t see the charm in bloodshed, perhaps they should retire to farm root vegetables when they comment that she has a different definition of “charming” than they do (hers includes a city having murders, oppression, and conspiracies), to her famous companion banter utterly DECIMATING poor Gale (telling him that in her home city, all sons after the second are killed at birth as they have no use in the intensely evilly-matriarchal drow society – then saying he has the aura of a third son about him). XD You know what, the player being able to get her as a companion even on a good-aligned run (she used to be exclusive to people taking the evil route through the game) may be the result of Larian deciding to bend to fan opinion to look “cool” and “relatable,” but god damn if she isn’t well-written and very funny. XD Meaning that, yes, I’ll be taking advantage of the ability to recruit her on Smiler’s run. I just want those pithy one-liners, damn it!
Writing: Squeezed in writing the rough draft of Moose’s birthday gift fic tonight, right before I started chatting with my friend Squid! Because I had to get on that, as her birthday is next week, don’t you know. :p I won’t say too much here because, you know, spoilers, but I will say that it involves your new favorite Weird Video Game Triangle, Moose. :p Hopefully you enjoy it when I post the finished version next Saturday!
YouTube: Didn’t have much time to watch videos tonight, between finishing off all my write-ups above and Game Night (Yahtzee – I won the first game with a lucky Yahtzee, then Dad proceeded to cream Mom and me in the next three games. Well, mostly – the third game he won by a single point over me. But he still won!), but I was able to fit in one Short that intrigued me when I saw it recommended: “Here's Why Karlach Isn't on the BG3 Poster” by Fall Damage! Featuring Karlach’s voice actor, Samantha Béart, reacting to a comment angrily going on about how Karlach isn’t featured on the Baldur’s Gate III poster/splash screen but Wyll’s horrible patron Mizora IS (they also complained about that “twink vampire” being front and center but – well, there was no way Astarion wasn’t getting the prime spot on that screen!). Samantha’s thoughts on the matter consisted of:
A) Reminding the commenter that Mizora is Wyll’s warlock patron, and maybe that poster was from a timeline where Karlach ended up killed by Wyll (because that IS a thing that can happen – as you may remember from my Smiler playthrough, when you first meet Wyll, he’s been tricked into thinking Karlach is a dangerous devil, not a tiefling on the run, and is determined to kill her – you have to talk him out of it when you meet her)
B) Saying that when she’s in a diplomatic mood, she says that Karlach was the one taking the picture of everyone
C) Wondering aloud if the issue is they just used the Early Access version of the poster and never bothered to try and update it (which is what I think, and what some of the other commenters indicated may be the case)
D) Admitting there were no discussions to update the poster that she can talk about, but that she goes “justice restored” whenever she sees a splash screen modded to have Karlach in it
*nods* Yeah – it is pretty unfair that her character doesn’t get to be on the splash screen! Like, I get that her status as a companion is supposed to be a bit of a twist...but the game’s been out two years, most people know she can be recruited, update the damn splash screen. *shakehead* Meeeeh. Larian disappointing us again!
And there we have it! Not a bad final Friday off, I suppose. Though yeah, that wrap-up post took absolute AGES. I seriously didn't realize I'd written THAT MUCH. Yikes. *shakehead* Anyway, I really do need to hit the sheets now -- tomorrow's a Cleaning Saturday, and I'm HOPING I can get most of it done before lunch. We'll see what happens, of course...other goals of the day include finally getting Fallout: New Vegas and the "Viva New Vegas" modlist installed; writing something self-indulgent just for me to help finish out my time off; and probably keeping up with the latest CaFae Latte compilation video! And doing a list of fanfic New Year's Resolutions on tumblr, if I have time. We'll see. Night all!
