crossover_chick | Shopping Day

Man, it feels kinda weird not to have been on the computer most of the day. I slept in until noon, had lunch at one, then headed out to buy my stuff at two. I got my "Enchanted" DVD, though I had to stop at two stores -- apparently it's a popular Easter gift. The first place was sold out! Then I hit the local Toy Vault and found something quite interesting.
Spider-Man FAIRY TALES.
-D: O.o?!-
-M: Wha??-
I'm serious! It's a comic book of fairy tales, only adapted to Spidey and his crew! Little Red Riding Hood, an Anansi story (African Spider God, natch), a Japanese about demons, and Cinderella. Apparently there's an X-Men collection too, which I must now scheme to get.
-HD: *overly-cheerful* See? See?! I'm legimate literature!-
-WRM: Yes!-
-VuM: How the hell do you adapt Little Red Riding Hood to Spider-Man?-
They did it -- Mary Jane was Red, Peter was a brave woodcutter, Aunt May was the grandmother. It was pretty interesting, frankly. They all were.
In honor of this fascinating find, let's have a drabbles88. I still have one waiting in the wings, but this one's more appropriate:

2. Middles
And so, as Marty proceeded down the forest path on his skateboard, he–
“I’m not doing this.”
Huh?
“I am not doing this. Look, why the hell do you keep casting me as a girl?”
What are you talking about? I’m using male pronouns.
“You know what I’m talking about! ‘Marty In Wonderland,’ ‘Cinder-Marty’ – having my mom try to mack on me might have screwed me up a little, but not that much!”
Come on, it’s amusing.
“For you, maybe. Why are you even doing ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ anyway?”
I dunno. Seemed like fun.
“Can you hurry it up over there? This wolf suit is starting to itch!”
And on that note, you can’t tell me seeing him dressed up in drag wasn’t funny.
“. . . Okay, you got me there. But no. I’m not doing the whole ‘skip through the forest--’”
Skateboard, technically.
“Whatever! ‘– and deliver treats to my sick grandfather Doc’ deal. I – wait a minute, doesn’t the wolf eat the grandmother?! No goddamn way, Victoria! That whole thing of him getting kidnapped in ‘Cinder-Marty’ was enough!”
“I don’t want to eat that old freak! He probably tastes weird.”
“Hey!”
Fine, fine. We can still try to tackle “The Little Mermaid,” though I’m not sure how to work Doc into that–
“JESUS CHRIST, CAN YOU THINK OF A STORY THAT LETS ME BE MALE?!”

This was inspired by my browsing TV Tropes -- I happened to see some ads for the Little Mermaid Broadway Musical on the side, and I started wondering about a Futurified Classics version of THAT -- and this popped up.
-OD: *tentacles chatter* He's got a point, you know. Every single fairy tale you've had an idea for involves some sort of gender-flipping.-
-M: Yeah, really! I bet Spidey there didn't get that!-
Not in the Little Red Riding Hood one. But he WAS Cinderella.
-M: . . . Oh.-
Yeah. Incidentally, that was one DEPRESSING version of the story. You see, it was Cinderella merged with Gwen Stacey's death at the hands of the Green Goblin. . . .
-VuM: *wince* Not fun?-
Gwen ends up dead, Norman ends up dead, Harry swears revenge against Peter (as he does), Peter ends up depressed (if the heir), and Mary Jane ends up with unrequited love for Peter.
-M2: . . . I prefer your version.-
Me too. Anyway, if any of you know of any male-oriented stories I could possibly do, feel free to comment. I'm sure the Martys would appreciate it.

Anyway, got home around three, spent the rest of the afternoon watching "Enchanted" and its special features. Aww, that's such a sweet movie. I also have major costume-lust.
-VD2: You and your period clothing.-
-TTV: *looks uneasy*-
Awww, hehehe. I do like your suit, but it's a little du --
*pause* Hey, how come you never take your suitcoat off?
-TTV: O.o? Why should I?-
I dunno. Ever hot?
-TTV: *pulls it tighter* I don't see why you're suddenly interested.-
-TD: Three words, Victor. She. Loves. Vests.-
I wanna see it! I never see you out of it unless you're in totally different clothes.
-TTV: Oh, come now. You must have seen me with it off at SOME point, what with all that fanart you look at.-
*thinks* Hmm. Well, once. . . .
-RPD: Once?-
Yeah. Don't like to think about it, though, it's a Barkis/Victor picture --
*is suddenly hit in the side of the head with a suitcoat*
-TTV: *shirtsleeved* I REFUSE to let that be the only image of me you have without that coat!-
Oooh, it's maroon! *feels up vest*
-TTV: *pained look*-
-HD: Here, I'll see if I can distract her. *starts throwing sugar cubes at me*-