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crossover_chickI found this while browsing the web, looking up "flower language" (just curious as to what Victor might want to give Alice in a bouquet that wouldn't involve roses), and I just KNEW it had to be snarked. This is from Victorian Bazaar, a very poorly formatted and rather goofy site. I think it sells Victorian-themed stuff, but after seeing the way some of the pages look, I wouldn't touch them with a ten-foot pole. Except to make fun of their little story here. Take it away, Victor and Alice.
Alice: Oh, again? Now what?
Victor: She says it’s a love story.
Alice: . . . She’s having US make fun of a love story?
Victor: Apparently she thinks it’s “goofy.”
Alice: Let’s see for ourselves.
Her given name was Blythe Anne Goodwin, and in her mind’s eye, she was a “lady” now, in every sense of the word.
Alice: . . . All right, that’s not promising.
For, at last, she had reached her eighteenth birthday! What jollity was clamoring within the innermost reaches of her heart! Today, of all days, there was a glow about her as warm as the mellowing embers. With auburn hair, skin that resembled that of a porcelain doll, a voluptuous form and cheeks that hinted a natural blush, she was no less than captivating.
Victor: I believe the term for her could be – a “Mary Sue?”
Alice: Oh, God, again with making girls look like dolls!
And, the moment for which she had long been awaiting will have finally arrived.
Victor: . . . What?
Alice: I – what tense is that, can you tell?
Victor: Past future imperfect?
Just a few more hours---eight down to the count---spent in breathless wonderment, and then, she would know!
Alice: Does buttered toast strapped to the back of a cat cause it to levitate?
Victor: Would the souffle finally rise?
It had been some time since her cousin, Beth Willingham, of whom she was so fond, had sent word of a gentleman friend that, indeed, had expressed a desire to meet her in person.
Alice: As opposed to all the others, who were only interested in correspondence relationships.
Beth had told her only that his name is Thomas Seymour, a refined and “well to do” gentleman, and, that he was already an admirer! Yet, how could this be? For, within her own deepest thoughts she was far from the beauty one would travel many miles to gaze upon.
Victor: Modesty, or an attempt to gain sympathy from the reader?
Nevertheless, it was this “lowliness of mind and heart” that was seated at the center of her grace and loveliness.
Victor: The latter.
Alice: *deadpan* Of course it was.
Could he, from dearest Beth’s description alone have drawn this solemn conclusion? How ever would she meet his expectations? Furthermore, would he meet hers?
Alice: Would he have all his teeth and everything?
They were due to be arriving by the dinner hour!
There was yet preparation to be done. Her satin day gown needed to be readied, for it had been purchased and hung hopefully in her wardrobe since Beth’s mere mention of his name.
Victor: . . . Blythe appears to be slightly desperate.
Alice: Or dangerously obsessive.
There were the accessories to be chosen and her long tresses to be done in a style that was befitting a lady about to be introduced to a gentleman caller.
Alice: “Long tresses?” You couldn’t just say “hair?”
The house needed its final touches, although mother and she had given more than the usual attention to its cleanliness. Also, she must not forget the freshly cut flowers! As she hurried down the staircase, she nearly stumbled over the vase she had placed there earlier from the cupboard.
Victor: She put a vase directly on the staircase? Is she trying to break it?!
“This was no time to entertain clumsiness,” she thought. “I am about to meet the man of my dreams
Alice: Whom you know nothing about. . . .
and ...and, I am as unsteady as a newly born colt! I must somehow find it within myself to gain my composure!”
Victor: Miss Goodwin, I don’t think you ever had composure.
She headed for the garden and, as the heat of the morning sun’s rays fell gently upon her arms, she felt a tingling.
Alice: "Oh no, I keep forgetting I’m a vampire!"
Could this be the sensation she would feel, as fleeting thoughts of his arms around hers passed through her mind?
Victor: His arms around her arms? Well, I suppose if they were held at her sides. . . .
Alice: I do feel rather tingly whenever you hold me.
Victor: *pleased blush*
In daydream, Blythe gathered the floral assortment as quickly as she could, and sped back up the garden path through the door and hurriedly placed the flowers in the vase. “I shall wear one of these burgundy roses in my hair, for their scent is that of the gods!” she bellowed loudly.
Alice+Victor: . . . *snicker helplessly*
“What is that you say Blythe?” her mother called from the kitchen. “Oh, nothing at all, mother” she atoned.
Victor: Yes, you must certainly atone for that previous sentence.
“Can you help me with my tresses after I have bathed?”
Alice: There is nothing wrong with the word “hair!” People use it every day!
Just then, Rebecca, her sister who was five years younger than she peeked around the banister. “You had better wear the whole bouquet if you want to catch a man,” she jeered.
Alice: Ah yes, what story would be complete without the evil younger sibling.
“Oh, go catch a lowly sparrow!” Blythe quipped in dismay.
Victor: I find nothing amusing about that sentence. I’m not even sure what it means.
“My whole life lies within the outcome of this day, and you make little of me!” she added. Rebecca sneered as she turned away and ran to the kitchen to see what mother and the maid had prepared for dinner.
Alice: Your entire life. Will you up and die if he’s not precisely the perfect man for you? I was under the impression one could see multiple suitors, even back in our era!
Victor: You know, actually, something about her reminds me of my mother. It’s quite possible she’s chased all the other men away.
Alice: Oh, very true.
Time passed by quickly and it was almost time for Beth, her brother Derrick and Thomas Seymour to arrive. Blythe gently gathered her cherished gown of green satin and carefully put it on, making certain that her petticoats were out of sight and her bodice was not too revealing.
Alice: If you really want his attention, Blythe, I’d make it more revealing.
Victor: *turns pink* Allliiiice. . . .
When she was satisfied with the look of her gown, she perched upon the seat of her dressing table, and reached for her hand mirror with apprehension. “Oh, I do hope he is easy to please,” she thought as she glanced at the cascading tresses and the splendid rose in her hair.
Alice: Oh for – I’m never going to use the word “tresses” again.
Victor: At least she actually used the word “hair” here.
“What if though, he would have me resemble Godiva!” she grimaced as she fondled one of her curls.
Victor: What – as in Lady Godiva?! The woman who – who r-rode n-n-nnnn – u-unclad through t-the streets of h-her town?!
Alice: See, what did I tell you? More revealing is the way to go!
Victor: *facepalm*
“Well, I must be of positive thought and just keep in mind, that ‘beauty is as beauty does’!” she thought reassuringly.
Victor: Maybe it’s because I’m not a woman –
Alice: No, I’m not entirely sure what to make of it either.
It was not long thereafter that a knock came at the door and all three guests entered. “Let me take your cloaks, and your cape, my dear ones. How good it is to see you once again,” Master Goodwin said, as he kissed his niece on the cheek.
Victor: The head of the house greeting and taking care of his guests? That’s actually a new one on me.
Alice: Victor, not everyone’s grown up in a house full of servants.
“And, you my boy,” he said to Derrick, “are already a man---a dandy one at that!” “Thank you, my uncle, and you are looking very well yourself!” he replied, as they shook hands strongly.
Alice: They can’t just shake hands – they have to do so strongly.
“And let us introduce to you all our good friend Thomas Seymour,” he said with pride. Thomas shook Lord Goodwin’s hand,
Alice: Wait, he’s a Lord? Then you may have a point, Victor, shouldn’t he have a butler at least to help?
Victor: *shrug*
and bowed genteelly to Lady Goodwin and Rebecca. “My pleasure to meet you sir and my fair ladies,” he said warmly, as he held a fabulous bouquet of deepest pink cabbage roses intended for Blythe.
Victor: Speaking of which, where is Blythe? You think she would have rushed down to meet her caller immediately.
Alice: Especially since she’s had a dress purchased for this day ever since her cousin merely dropped his name.
He handed Lady Goodwin one of the roses and said politely, “for you my lady.”
Lady Goodwin curtseyed with a smile. Then, Blythe’s father escorted them into the sitting room. As they all were seated he added, “and let us all have a spot of tea. Do rest your weary bones as we converse, for you must all be exhausted from your journey.”
Alice: Added to what?
Victor: The way this story’s structured is giving me a headache.
They talked for a while.
Blythe was listening at the top of the staircase and could hardly contain herself. “His voice is so...so ‘manly’;
Alice: *mockingly throwing a hand to her forehead* I do believe I shall faint, for the delicate constitution of a woman is not meant for such things!
I wonder if, he’s tall or short, dark haired or fair, stout or slender,” she thought cajolingly.
Alice: She doesn’t even know what he looks like?! Oh Lord.
Victor: I don’t think “cajolingly” means what she thinks it means.
After a time, Master Goodwin spoke up, “Rebecca, will you kindly let your sister know that our guests are waiting for her?”
Alice: And do ask her why she hasn’t put in an appearance before now, considering these are her guests?
“But, of course, father,” Rebecca replied respectfully. And, as she stood up, her squozen tea bag tumbled to the floor and rested upon Thomas’ shoe.
Victor: “Squozen?” Is that – oh, never mind, I don’t even care.
Alice: Where was she keeping it so that it could so easily fall onto his shoe? I think we’d hear about it if she’d broken her plate or cup.
Everyone giggled as Rebecca excused herself and made a beeline for the stairs. When she reached the top, she whispered to Blythe, “Your Prince Charming has arrived and is awaiting your presence,” she snickered.
Alice: I like Rebecca.
“Oh, Rebecca, don’t be impudent, and you had better not spoil things,” she warned. “I have waited to time indefinite for this day to come!”
Victor: This makes it sound like Rebecca’s talking to herself, more or less.
Alice: *groans* This is why you should allow women to have interests outside of marriage. Otherwise they turn into perfectly dull and flighty creatures who spend their entire lives waiting for a man to give them an identity.
Descending the stairs, Blythe tried to steady her quivering knees. She reached the bottom and ever so ladylike, entered the room.
Alice: Thomas immediately said, “Well, sod this,” and left.
The gentlemen rose and Beth ran over and gave her cousin a hug. “We have waited so long to see you, Blythe, and don’t you look simply stunning!” Blythe responded, “ Oh, thank you, and it is so grand to see you once again!”
Victor: Well, not you, of course, but my future husband – Thomas, let us be wed this very evening!
Over Beth’s shoulder she caught Thomas’ eye and her cheeks immediately began to turn bright pink. “He is so dashingly handsome, a man of stature and a perfect gentleman as well, ” she thought trying not to reveal her embarrassment.
Victor: That was a very nondescriptive description.
Alice: You’re not even going to answer the questions you yourself posed for us? Lazy.
Derrick took Thomas’ arm and led him to the doorway. He hugged his cousin and said, “Blythe we would like for you to meet our good friend, Thomas Seymour.”
Thomas had a gleam in his eye.
Victor: “Oh, if only she were dressed like Lady Godiva!”
Alice: “She’ll make good meals for a month!”
The sunset’s amber rays shone through the expanse of the window and fell upon Blythe’s curvaceous silhouette and what appeared to be hair of “gold,” her “crowning glory”.
Alice: Oh, this the epitome of “bad romance novel.”
“It is my utmost pleasure to know you my lady!” he replied as he offered her the exquisite bouquet and softly kissed her outreached hand. “These roses cannot compare with the beauty I see before me.” Blythe was ecstatic! Never had she been spoken to in such a manner, nor had she ever experienced such exultation!
Victor: Really? That’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? That’s really quite unoriginal.
Confidently she replied, “You speak as the poets...
Alice: Well, a really bad poet.
you are too kind, my sir, and I thank you for these magnificent roses! Rebecca, darling, would you mind getting the cut glass vase from the cupboard?” she asked. “Not at all, my sister,” Rebecca retorted pretentiously.
Victor: Wait, didn’t she already get the vase from the cupboard? And fill it with flowers?!
Alice: Now, Victor, don’t get flustered. They could have two.
Everyone could clearly perceive that this was a match made in heaven; and as Lady Goodwin beckoned her guests to dinner, the pair hesitated and slowly walked side by side falling well behind the others.
Alice: Oooo, scandalous.
It was as if they had known each other forever. “Do you believe in ‘love at first sight’ Blythe?” Thomas asked in a whisper, as he leaned closely to her ear. “I suppose I do,” she said coyly. “ And, may I be so bold as to say that your hair smells ‘divine’ ?” he continued.
Victor: He’s not coming off as a gentleman to me. He’s coming off as sleazy.
Blythe smiled, reminiscent of her own comment when she had retreated earlier from the garden.
Alice+Victor: The scent of the gods! *more snickering*
She pondered a moment and as she removed her gloves,
Alice: Even more scandalous! Perhaps we’ve misjudged her.
Victor: Somehow I don’t think so.
she exclaimed, “I think that I shall pinch myself that I may awaken and this moment will all have been a spectacular dream!” “This is no dream, my lady, yet, now I must believe that dreams actually do come true,” he replied.
Victor: Now, where’s that flying pony I dreamed of the other night?
Blythe agreed, “and so must I,” and in wonder she added, “from where does this harmony come and in such little time?”
Alice: Weren’t you calling him the “man of your dreams” earlier? Without even knowing him?
Victor: Perhaps she didn’t actually believe that. We can hope, anyway.
Thomas conceded, “but I have known this day of long ago when I was first given your name,” for it means mirthful, does it not?”
Victor: . . . I’m sorry, but WHAT? What is he conceding? What is he saying? WHAT’S WITH THE EXTRA SET OF QUOTATION MARKS?!
Alice: Breathe, Victor, breathe.
“Why yes,” hesitatingly Blythe offered, “and would it be too unwitting of me to divulge that in daydream I had presumed myself quite often to be Lady Seymour?”
Alice: With all the pretty dresses, and the jewelry, and the large manor house. . .of course, it was rather hard to picture you. . . .
Victor: Oh, who needs to know what their husband – or their wife – looks like as long as they get a lot of money and power out of the deal?
Alice: . . . Are we feeling a bit bitter today about our arranged marriage?
Victor: I can only thank the Lord that Victoria turned out to be a decent human being. Even if we won’t be getting together now that I’ve met you.
He smiled as he stared deeply into her eyes, and gently took her hand. “Come, we will warrant much distain if the dinner gets cold,” he told her softly.
Alice: Romance always takes second place to eating.
Victor: Unless you figure out a way to combine the two.
And then, he escorted her to the dining table. As they were seated, everyone smiled in approval... with the exception of Rebecca, who was ravenous and staring at the chandelier in boredom...
(From the Victorian Bazaar site)
Alice: I really like Rebecca.
Victor: That was almost painful.
Alice: I agree. And ridiculous as well.
Victor: And poorly written!
Alice: Indeed. “The scent of the gods. . . .”
Alice+Victor: *again with the snickering*
Yeaaah. Interesting, eh?
And now, I gotta get ready for bed -- time to put on the flannel sheets again. *sigh* It was SNOWING up in Foxboro today! *scared of what the hell the weather will be like on Halloween*
Alice: Oh, again? Now what?
Victor: She says it’s a love story.
Alice: . . . She’s having US make fun of a love story?
Victor: Apparently she thinks it’s “goofy.”
Alice: Let’s see for ourselves.
Her given name was Blythe Anne Goodwin, and in her mind’s eye, she was a “lady” now, in every sense of the word.
Alice: . . . All right, that’s not promising.
For, at last, she had reached her eighteenth birthday! What jollity was clamoring within the innermost reaches of her heart! Today, of all days, there was a glow about her as warm as the mellowing embers. With auburn hair, skin that resembled that of a porcelain doll, a voluptuous form and cheeks that hinted a natural blush, she was no less than captivating.
Victor: I believe the term for her could be – a “Mary Sue?”
Alice: Oh, God, again with making girls look like dolls!
And, the moment for which she had long been awaiting will have finally arrived.
Victor: . . . What?
Alice: I – what tense is that, can you tell?
Victor: Past future imperfect?
Just a few more hours---eight down to the count---spent in breathless wonderment, and then, she would know!
Alice: Does buttered toast strapped to the back of a cat cause it to levitate?
Victor: Would the souffle finally rise?
It had been some time since her cousin, Beth Willingham, of whom she was so fond, had sent word of a gentleman friend that, indeed, had expressed a desire to meet her in person.
Alice: As opposed to all the others, who were only interested in correspondence relationships.
Beth had told her only that his name is Thomas Seymour, a refined and “well to do” gentleman, and, that he was already an admirer! Yet, how could this be? For, within her own deepest thoughts she was far from the beauty one would travel many miles to gaze upon.
Victor: Modesty, or an attempt to gain sympathy from the reader?
Nevertheless, it was this “lowliness of mind and heart” that was seated at the center of her grace and loveliness.
Victor: The latter.
Alice: *deadpan* Of course it was.
Could he, from dearest Beth’s description alone have drawn this solemn conclusion? How ever would she meet his expectations? Furthermore, would he meet hers?
Alice: Would he have all his teeth and everything?
They were due to be arriving by the dinner hour!
There was yet preparation to be done. Her satin day gown needed to be readied, for it had been purchased and hung hopefully in her wardrobe since Beth’s mere mention of his name.
Victor: . . . Blythe appears to be slightly desperate.
Alice: Or dangerously obsessive.
There were the accessories to be chosen and her long tresses to be done in a style that was befitting a lady about to be introduced to a gentleman caller.
Alice: “Long tresses?” You couldn’t just say “hair?”
The house needed its final touches, although mother and she had given more than the usual attention to its cleanliness. Also, she must not forget the freshly cut flowers! As she hurried down the staircase, she nearly stumbled over the vase she had placed there earlier from the cupboard.
Victor: She put a vase directly on the staircase? Is she trying to break it?!
“This was no time to entertain clumsiness,” she thought. “I am about to meet the man of my dreams
Alice: Whom you know nothing about. . . .
and ...and, I am as unsteady as a newly born colt! I must somehow find it within myself to gain my composure!”
Victor: Miss Goodwin, I don’t think you ever had composure.
She headed for the garden and, as the heat of the morning sun’s rays fell gently upon her arms, she felt a tingling.
Alice: "Oh no, I keep forgetting I’m a vampire!"
Could this be the sensation she would feel, as fleeting thoughts of his arms around hers passed through her mind?
Victor: His arms around her arms? Well, I suppose if they were held at her sides. . . .
Alice: I do feel rather tingly whenever you hold me.
Victor: *pleased blush*
In daydream, Blythe gathered the floral assortment as quickly as she could, and sped back up the garden path through the door and hurriedly placed the flowers in the vase. “I shall wear one of these burgundy roses in my hair, for their scent is that of the gods!” she bellowed loudly.
Alice+Victor: . . . *snicker helplessly*
“What is that you say Blythe?” her mother called from the kitchen. “Oh, nothing at all, mother” she atoned.
Victor: Yes, you must certainly atone for that previous sentence.
“Can you help me with my tresses after I have bathed?”
Alice: There is nothing wrong with the word “hair!” People use it every day!
Just then, Rebecca, her sister who was five years younger than she peeked around the banister. “You had better wear the whole bouquet if you want to catch a man,” she jeered.
Alice: Ah yes, what story would be complete without the evil younger sibling.
“Oh, go catch a lowly sparrow!” Blythe quipped in dismay.
Victor: I find nothing amusing about that sentence. I’m not even sure what it means.
“My whole life lies within the outcome of this day, and you make little of me!” she added. Rebecca sneered as she turned away and ran to the kitchen to see what mother and the maid had prepared for dinner.
Alice: Your entire life. Will you up and die if he’s not precisely the perfect man for you? I was under the impression one could see multiple suitors, even back in our era!
Victor: You know, actually, something about her reminds me of my mother. It’s quite possible she’s chased all the other men away.
Alice: Oh, very true.
Time passed by quickly and it was almost time for Beth, her brother Derrick and Thomas Seymour to arrive. Blythe gently gathered her cherished gown of green satin and carefully put it on, making certain that her petticoats were out of sight and her bodice was not too revealing.
Alice: If you really want his attention, Blythe, I’d make it more revealing.
Victor: *turns pink* Allliiiice. . . .
When she was satisfied with the look of her gown, she perched upon the seat of her dressing table, and reached for her hand mirror with apprehension. “Oh, I do hope he is easy to please,” she thought as she glanced at the cascading tresses and the splendid rose in her hair.
Alice: Oh for – I’m never going to use the word “tresses” again.
Victor: At least she actually used the word “hair” here.
“What if though, he would have me resemble Godiva!” she grimaced as she fondled one of her curls.
Victor: What – as in Lady Godiva?! The woman who – who r-rode n-n-nnnn – u-unclad through t-the streets of h-her town?!
Alice: See, what did I tell you? More revealing is the way to go!
Victor: *facepalm*
“Well, I must be of positive thought and just keep in mind, that ‘beauty is as beauty does’!” she thought reassuringly.
Victor: Maybe it’s because I’m not a woman –
Alice: No, I’m not entirely sure what to make of it either.
It was not long thereafter that a knock came at the door and all three guests entered. “Let me take your cloaks, and your cape, my dear ones. How good it is to see you once again,” Master Goodwin said, as he kissed his niece on the cheek.
Victor: The head of the house greeting and taking care of his guests? That’s actually a new one on me.
Alice: Victor, not everyone’s grown up in a house full of servants.
“And, you my boy,” he said to Derrick, “are already a man---a dandy one at that!” “Thank you, my uncle, and you are looking very well yourself!” he replied, as they shook hands strongly.
Alice: They can’t just shake hands – they have to do so strongly.
“And let us introduce to you all our good friend Thomas Seymour,” he said with pride. Thomas shook Lord Goodwin’s hand,
Alice: Wait, he’s a Lord? Then you may have a point, Victor, shouldn’t he have a butler at least to help?
Victor: *shrug*
and bowed genteelly to Lady Goodwin and Rebecca. “My pleasure to meet you sir and my fair ladies,” he said warmly, as he held a fabulous bouquet of deepest pink cabbage roses intended for Blythe.
Victor: Speaking of which, where is Blythe? You think she would have rushed down to meet her caller immediately.
Alice: Especially since she’s had a dress purchased for this day ever since her cousin merely dropped his name.
He handed Lady Goodwin one of the roses and said politely, “for you my lady.”
Lady Goodwin curtseyed with a smile. Then, Blythe’s father escorted them into the sitting room. As they all were seated he added, “and let us all have a spot of tea. Do rest your weary bones as we converse, for you must all be exhausted from your journey.”
Alice: Added to what?
Victor: The way this story’s structured is giving me a headache.
They talked for a while.
Blythe was listening at the top of the staircase and could hardly contain herself. “His voice is so...so ‘manly’;
Alice: *mockingly throwing a hand to her forehead* I do believe I shall faint, for the delicate constitution of a woman is not meant for such things!
I wonder if, he’s tall or short, dark haired or fair, stout or slender,” she thought cajolingly.
Alice: She doesn’t even know what he looks like?! Oh Lord.
Victor: I don’t think “cajolingly” means what she thinks it means.
After a time, Master Goodwin spoke up, “Rebecca, will you kindly let your sister know that our guests are waiting for her?”
Alice: And do ask her why she hasn’t put in an appearance before now, considering these are her guests?
“But, of course, father,” Rebecca replied respectfully. And, as she stood up, her squozen tea bag tumbled to the floor and rested upon Thomas’ shoe.
Victor: “Squozen?” Is that – oh, never mind, I don’t even care.
Alice: Where was she keeping it so that it could so easily fall onto his shoe? I think we’d hear about it if she’d broken her plate or cup.
Everyone giggled as Rebecca excused herself and made a beeline for the stairs. When she reached the top, she whispered to Blythe, “Your Prince Charming has arrived and is awaiting your presence,” she snickered.
Alice: I like Rebecca.
“Oh, Rebecca, don’t be impudent, and you had better not spoil things,” she warned. “I have waited to time indefinite for this day to come!”
Victor: This makes it sound like Rebecca’s talking to herself, more or less.
Alice: *groans* This is why you should allow women to have interests outside of marriage. Otherwise they turn into perfectly dull and flighty creatures who spend their entire lives waiting for a man to give them an identity.
Descending the stairs, Blythe tried to steady her quivering knees. She reached the bottom and ever so ladylike, entered the room.
Alice: Thomas immediately said, “Well, sod this,” and left.
The gentlemen rose and Beth ran over and gave her cousin a hug. “We have waited so long to see you, Blythe, and don’t you look simply stunning!” Blythe responded, “ Oh, thank you, and it is so grand to see you once again!”
Victor: Well, not you, of course, but my future husband – Thomas, let us be wed this very evening!
Over Beth’s shoulder she caught Thomas’ eye and her cheeks immediately began to turn bright pink. “He is so dashingly handsome, a man of stature and a perfect gentleman as well, ” she thought trying not to reveal her embarrassment.
Victor: That was a very nondescriptive description.
Alice: You’re not even going to answer the questions you yourself posed for us? Lazy.
Derrick took Thomas’ arm and led him to the doorway. He hugged his cousin and said, “Blythe we would like for you to meet our good friend, Thomas Seymour.”
Thomas had a gleam in his eye.
Victor: “Oh, if only she were dressed like Lady Godiva!”
Alice: “She’ll make good meals for a month!”
The sunset’s amber rays shone through the expanse of the window and fell upon Blythe’s curvaceous silhouette and what appeared to be hair of “gold,” her “crowning glory”.
Alice: Oh, this the epitome of “bad romance novel.”
“It is my utmost pleasure to know you my lady!” he replied as he offered her the exquisite bouquet and softly kissed her outreached hand. “These roses cannot compare with the beauty I see before me.” Blythe was ecstatic! Never had she been spoken to in such a manner, nor had she ever experienced such exultation!
Victor: Really? That’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? That’s really quite unoriginal.
Confidently she replied, “You speak as the poets...
Alice: Well, a really bad poet.
you are too kind, my sir, and I thank you for these magnificent roses! Rebecca, darling, would you mind getting the cut glass vase from the cupboard?” she asked. “Not at all, my sister,” Rebecca retorted pretentiously.
Victor: Wait, didn’t she already get the vase from the cupboard? And fill it with flowers?!
Alice: Now, Victor, don’t get flustered. They could have two.
Everyone could clearly perceive that this was a match made in heaven; and as Lady Goodwin beckoned her guests to dinner, the pair hesitated and slowly walked side by side falling well behind the others.
Alice: Oooo, scandalous.
It was as if they had known each other forever. “Do you believe in ‘love at first sight’ Blythe?” Thomas asked in a whisper, as he leaned closely to her ear. “I suppose I do,” she said coyly. “ And, may I be so bold as to say that your hair smells ‘divine’ ?” he continued.
Victor: He’s not coming off as a gentleman to me. He’s coming off as sleazy.
Blythe smiled, reminiscent of her own comment when she had retreated earlier from the garden.
Alice+Victor: The scent of the gods! *more snickering*
She pondered a moment and as she removed her gloves,
Alice: Even more scandalous! Perhaps we’ve misjudged her.
Victor: Somehow I don’t think so.
she exclaimed, “I think that I shall pinch myself that I may awaken and this moment will all have been a spectacular dream!” “This is no dream, my lady, yet, now I must believe that dreams actually do come true,” he replied.
Victor: Now, where’s that flying pony I dreamed of the other night?
Blythe agreed, “and so must I,” and in wonder she added, “from where does this harmony come and in such little time?”
Alice: Weren’t you calling him the “man of your dreams” earlier? Without even knowing him?
Victor: Perhaps she didn’t actually believe that. We can hope, anyway.
Thomas conceded, “but I have known this day of long ago when I was first given your name,” for it means mirthful, does it not?”
Victor: . . . I’m sorry, but WHAT? What is he conceding? What is he saying? WHAT’S WITH THE EXTRA SET OF QUOTATION MARKS?!
Alice: Breathe, Victor, breathe.
“Why yes,” hesitatingly Blythe offered, “and would it be too unwitting of me to divulge that in daydream I had presumed myself quite often to be Lady Seymour?”
Alice: With all the pretty dresses, and the jewelry, and the large manor house. . .of course, it was rather hard to picture you. . . .
Victor: Oh, who needs to know what their husband – or their wife – looks like as long as they get a lot of money and power out of the deal?
Alice: . . . Are we feeling a bit bitter today about our arranged marriage?
Victor: I can only thank the Lord that Victoria turned out to be a decent human being. Even if we won’t be getting together now that I’ve met you.
He smiled as he stared deeply into her eyes, and gently took her hand. “Come, we will warrant much distain if the dinner gets cold,” he told her softly.
Alice: Romance always takes second place to eating.
Victor: Unless you figure out a way to combine the two.
And then, he escorted her to the dining table. As they were seated, everyone smiled in approval... with the exception of Rebecca, who was ravenous and staring at the chandelier in boredom...
(From the Victorian Bazaar site)
Alice: I really like Rebecca.
Victor: That was almost painful.
Alice: I agree. And ridiculous as well.
Victor: And poorly written!
Alice: Indeed. “The scent of the gods. . . .”
Alice+Victor: *again with the snickering*
Yeaaah. Interesting, eh?
And now, I gotta get ready for bed -- time to put on the flannel sheets again. *sigh* It was SNOWING up in Foxboro today! *scared of what the hell the weather will be like on Halloween*
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Date: 2009-10-19 03:09 am (UTC)