Rainy Icky Saturday
May. 9th, 2026 11:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crossover_chickIt was chilly and miserable most of the day -- like, the sun peeked out once or twice, but most of the day was gray and gloomy, and it rained a lot in the afternoon. Not that I had any plans to go anywhere, admittedly, but -- still. More pleasant when it's sunny. At least Mother's Day tomorrow is supposed to be nice! And at least I got the things I most wanted to get done today done:
Tumblr: Twas another day without anything happening on Valice Multiverse, but on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler), I managed to get two things done before lunch –
A) First things first – after changing my sheets and getting dressed and all of that, I immediately dove into my Song Saturday post featuring “Traveler’s Song” by Aviators and finally finished that off! Yeah, turns out trying to explain that I found the song shortly after encountering their Baldur’s Gate III-inspired song “Make Your Move,” ended up associating it with BG3 as well thanks to a lot of the lyrics in the song fitting the game’s storyline, then finally made it a “Valicer In The Dark meets Baldur’s Gate III” song after I started coming up with all those thoughts and began picturing it as the kind of song Smiler would sing at the grove celebration party is a lot easier at noon than one in the morning. ^^; Got it sorted by 12:09 PM, twenty minutes before the post was scheduled to go up. Bit more last-minute than I usually like with my queued posts, but at least I got it done!
B) And second, I spent some time working on the “Valicer Eats God” post, which included:
I. Organizing Victor and Smiler’s sections to match Alice’s in format, so I have the same categories covering all aspects of character creation for all three
II. Doing proper write-ups for Victor and Smiler’s chosen traits, which included canonizing “Lanky Limbs” as Victor’s third trait after going through the others and confirming that no, that one fits him the best alongside “Fast Feet” and “Sticky Steps”
III. Deciding on Victor and Smiler’s creeds (the reasons why they want to eat God) – Victor’s is so far “it really feels like God is out to get me and my friends, so I want to show Him how it feels,” while Smiler’s is “God is doing a shit job of making people happy, so I’m going to destroy Him so someone or something else can take over”
IV. Deciding on Victor and Smiler’s quirks (some extra little personality traits to flesh them out) – Smiler’s is “has strong opinions on how to correctly make tea,” but I’m still figuring if I want Victor’s to be “world-class expert in some obscure and mostly irrelevant academic field” (with the field being, naturally, the study of butterflies and moths), “untargeted mishaps actually target him most frequently” (just funny, and ties in well with his creed), or “can interact with immaterial beings, such as ghosts, as if they were solid” (given Victor’s adventures in the Land of the Dead in Corpse Bride, this feels like a natural trait for him to have)
So that’s slowly but surely starting to come together, yay!
Baldur’s Gate III: Ended up playing a two hour session of this today instead of my usual one – which is what happens when you mix inventory management, important character convos, and paladin fights, it appears! But it was a very productive session, and I will be happy to tell you all about it –
A) Picked up right where I left off last time, with Smiler and the gang hanging out at the bottom of a ladder up to the upper levels of the Risen Road tollhouse, ready to climb up and confront the false Paladins of Tyr hunting Karlach inside – but before we did that, I decided that I wanted to bring everyone back to camp, get their thoughts on the Karlach and Wyll situation, and make sure Karlach was appropriately kitted out for the big battle. So off to the Wilderness camp the gang went, where I discovered with interest that Karlach’s tent was apparently right next to Smiler’s spawn point. Well, that’ll make it convenient to talk to her while at this camp, at least! :p First, though, they had to get the other companion’s thoughts on the new recruit, and thus made the usual rounds:
I. Shadowheart was relieved to note that “Karlch and Wyll seem to have put their differences aside. I thought it was going to come to blows for a moment.” Good thing Wyll was easily persuaded that he’d made a mistake, huh?
II. Astarion, by contrast, complained, “I thought we were going to see some real sparks fly between Wyll and Karlach. It’s almost a pity things ended so amicably, seeing those two duke it out would be fun.” To be fair, seeing them spar probably WOULD be interesting...but as that isn’t a thing in this game, seeing them fight side by side will have to do, Astarion!
III. Lae’zel was direct and to the point, as always, stating, “Karlach’s got the brawn of a warrior and the wiles of a survivor. Best of all, she speaks her mind, plainly and fully. Show her due respect.” Yeah, I already know you want to climb that tiefling like a tree, Lae’zel. XD But don’t worry, Smiler is all on board with showing her respect.
IV. Gale was his usual eloquent self, commenting, “A devil and devil hunter, standing shoulder to shoulder against a common enemy. Rather poetic, I think.” It is, rather, Gale, thank you.
V. And Wyll – had no special lines, greeting Smiler with his generic “Well met.” Which annoyed me at first, but then I remembered “well, they did get a cutscene together earlier, and our next long rest should trigger the special cutscene where Mizora shows up, which is also all about Wyll and Karlach,” so I’m a little less annoyed now. Still, a line about how he’s horrified about how close he came to killing an undeserving target or something would not have gone amiss! Just another instance of Wyll getting screwed over by Larian’s writers...
B) Having chatted with all the other companions, Smiler then jogged back over to Karlach’s tent to chat with her so she didn’t feel left out. :p Karlach greeted them with a friendly “Heya,” and Smiler decided to dive straight in by asking “So – how did you end up fighting in the Blood War?” After all, they’d gotten enough glimpses of her in battle thanks to the tadpole bond – they wanted to know what had brought her into Zariel’s service in the first place! Karlach, however, wasn’t really into sharing her backstory yet, telling them, “Trust me, I’ll tell you all about it – after we take care of the goons on my tail.” All right, fair enough – we already knew that she was pretty obsessed with taking out the paladins! (In fact, that’s why I originally thought I might only head back to camp after the fight – I wasn’t sure how talkative she’d be.) Smiler thus decided to try another topic, noting that “This isn’t where I thought I’d end up. How about you?” –
Prompting an amused Karlach to go, “Funny you should ask – I was just thinking about what would’ve become of us without that nautiloid.” She then elaborated, “I mean, I know where I’d be. Trapped in Avernus still, with the Blade of Frontiers on my tail. But what about you?” Now, as per the backstory I made up for them, Smiler would have been traveling the Sword Coast in their wagon, selling potions to all the various people they met –
But, well, that obviously wasn’t an option, so instead I had them go for “I’d be in the middle of another adventure, blessedly free of any tadpole.” Karlach laughed and revealed that “I can picture you getting mixed up in some outrageous shit. Giants, beholders, Thayans, the works,” prompting an amused smile from Smiler. Yes, they will sell to just about anybody! She then concluded the conversation with “Maybe once we’ve wrapped up the current shenanigans, we’ll rest a bit and find some new heap of trouble to throw ourselves at.” Sounds good to me, Karlach – and sounds good to Smiler too, given they fully intend to romance you! (And Wyll, but somehow I doubt you’ll mind that.)
C) Companion conversations covered, it was time to move onto the next order of business – making sure everyone’s inventory was in tip-top shape and that Karlach was properly outfitted for the big fight! After a quick check of the camp chest confirmed that yes, I did have stuff sitting in there waiting for her, I went into party mode, opened up everyone’s inventories and the camp chest, and did the following:
I. Gave Karlach her set of smart containers (potion bag, poison satchel, explosives box, arrow quiver, scroll case, and book backpack) so she could keep all her stuff in the appropriate containers, just like the rest of my lot
II. Outfitted Karlach with the Bloodsoaked Armwraps I found before and stored away waiting for her because they’re only good for a Barbarian like her – for reference, their special ability is granting a turn of Wrath (which adds +1 to damage with all melee weapons) whenever a Barbarian activates their Rage (which already adds +2 damage to all melee and thrown weapons). Much better than her previous, non-magical wraps!
III. Opened up the dye container, scrolled until I found the “Karlach Origins” dye (as I wasn’t dying her shit ZARIEL colors), and then dyed all her clothes, including armwraps and boots, a pleasant dark red using that dye. Gotta make sure her outfit is on theme! (Though I did somehow knock myself out of party inventory mode while doing her boots. O.o At least it was easy enough to pop back in!)
IV. Had Wyll give her the Bicorne of the Sea Beast hat so I could see how it looked on her – answer was, sadly, bad. Screwed up her hairstyle by giving her long hair, which – just did not suit her. Shame! I was hoping to find SOMEONE who looked good in the hat.
V. Took a look at her weapon and armor proficiencies – and, upon seeing “Shields” listed as one of them (along with all martial weapons, all simple weapons, Light Armor, and Medium Armor), had Smiler give her the spiked shield they were carrying around. Dunno if she’ll ever USE it, but it’s good for her to have in an emergency, and better the strong lady carry it around over the fairly weedy Smiler! :p I also checked everyone’s inventories to see if anyone had a better weapon for her – nothing doing; she was stuck with her greataxe – and made a note of her current HP – 32! Not too shabby for level 3.
VI. Noted there was something still in the Peculiar Clothing Chest in the camp chest and opened it up to find the Cape of the Red Prince...and when I tried that on Karlach, I thought, “hey, she looks pretty good.” Like, yes, her tail clips through it, but still – it looked pretty snazzy on her! I thus slapped it on her and tossed the Bicorne in the PCC instead. We’ll find a head for you eventually, buddy! If nothing else, we might put you on Minsc all the way in Act 3. :p
VII. And – having confirmed I was done with Karlach’s inventory for the moment – swapped back to Smiler and had them give their two trap disarm kits and set of thieves’ tools to Astarion (who is our trap and lockpicking guy) before putting away in the camp chest a spare set of clothes, a spare set of light armor, a patched and worn teddy bear they found laying around, a magnifying glass, a cup, a bottle, a spare length of rope, some wheat, seven of their nine candles (I kept the one in their Bewildering Adventurer’s pack and another in their main inventory just in case), the goblin bow and scimitar, and all the spare daggers they’d picked up. I also took a moment to have them try on the Hat Of Siren’s Call they were carrying around, but took it off right away – like Karlach, Smiler doesn’t look good in hats because they fuck up their hairstyle (basically, they look bald because their bangs vanish). Ironic, given they’re the member of my OT3 I most often picture in a hat thanks to a flat cap being an iconic part of their VITD costume!
And there you have it! Karlach fully smart-containered up and smartly dressed for her adventures with the group. Here’s a screenshot of her in her new fit:
I think she looks ready for a fight with some paladins, don’t you?
D) Having taken nearly an hour just to check in with everyone and organize inventories, I decided it was about time the adventure continued and sent everyone back to the tollhouse! Smiler led the way up the ladder to the upper balconies, then up the nearby flight of stairs over to the door that Cyrel was popping in and out of (she in fact came out while the party was heading over – her expression naturally didn’t change, but I like to think she was a little “??!” about all these weirdos suddenly arriving on their doorstep). They took a moment to check the containers outside – the trunk was empty, but the barrel contained two water carafes, which was nice – then followed Cyrel through the door into what looked like a storeroom of sorts, full of various boxes and bags and at least one baguette sitting on a table –
And a dead refugee corpse! With a green glow over it, which I think it is the “tell” for “you can talk to this corpse with Speak With Dead.” Though, interestingly, seeing that glow and realizing Smiler had another dead body to chat with actually made me remember something else – namely, that in the upcoming conversation between Karlach and Anders, if you had the ability to read his mind, you could find incontrovertible proof that Anders was in league with Zariel. I thus had Smiler quickly down one of the Potions of Mind-Reading they had in their potions bag in preparation for that! I do like having options during the dialogue cutscenes, after all. (...and also I have trouble remembering that passing skill checks in this game does NOT usually result in bonus XP, like it does in the Fallout games. ^^;)
E) Speaking of dialogue cutscenes, Smiler had two to initiate out here before going to find Anders, leader of these supposed paladins. They started with Cyrel, the wandering paladin they’d seen before – however, Cyrel wasn’t much up for conversation, snapping at them to “Keep that beast away from us – you hear?” Karlach, pissed, went, “Me the beast? Now that’s fucking rich” and promptly asserted dominance over Cyrel by standing on a nearby box as Smiler went to question the corpse:
...okay, yes, that was just the game having her climb onto a box because there wasn’t enough floor space for the party to properly spread out, but it FELT like her asserting dominance. XD
Anyway – having gotten nothing out of Cyrel, Smiler turned their attention to the refugee corpse, raising it off the floor with the power of Speak With Dead and preparing their five questions – first one, unsurprisingly, was “Who are you?” The refugee replied, “...infernal...servant...so long I’ve forgotten...why…” Smiler then followed up with “How did you die?” –
And got “...Zariel’s brute...destroyed me…” Ah – so he was one of the Paladins that Karlach bested during their previous confrontation! Smiler then noted (without any evidence, because I think you’re supposed to explore the outside of the teahouse and see the dead gnolls outside first before going after the paladins – whoops) “You killed a pack of gnolls. How?” The corpse informed Smiler that was a result of “...the pact...power…” Smiler, intrigued, asked, “A pact? Which devil did you deal with?” –
And, naturally, the former fake paladin responded, “...fallen...lady...Zariel…” Pretty much confirming Karlach’s story! Smiler’s final question before the spell waned was “Why would you sign a pact with a devil?” to which the dead paladin replied “...power…strength…” before falling to the floor lifeless again. Not sure what else you were expecting there, Smiler! Though I guess you do have a weird perspective on the subject of pacts, being tied to an eldritch being of happiness who you consider part of your family (and vice-versa).
F) With the underling and the corpse spoken to, it was time to find the boss and confront him! And as there was only one other door to try in this whole room, directly to the left of the corpse, Smiler stuck their head through that in hopes of getting lucky. And they very much did, finding Anders and his fellow paladin Trynn (a lightfoot halfling, if you were curious – Anders and Cyrel are both humans) in a side room that looked a bit like an office (it had desks, at least) with a mezzanine balcony over looking it. They were having a chat about the gnolls in the area, but broke off when they saw Smiler –
Mostly because Karlach naturally followed them in (at least in the cutscene). Anders promptly pretended to be frightened, begging, “Please – no more! Leave us in peace, and we shall leave you in kind.” Karlach, however, wasn’t having any of it, snapping, “Cut the crap, Anders. I know what you are.” Anders ignored her and turned his attention to Smiler, pleading, “Don’t let her hurt us – please, we just want to go home.” And while Smiler already had proof the “paladins” were working for Zariel from the corpse, since they’d drunk the Potion of Mind Reading, I went ahead and had them probe his thoughts…
And after passing a DC 11 Intelligence check with a solid 17, they heard the smug bastard think to himself, The Archduchess will be delighted when we return with Karlach’s head on a pike. D: Smiler immediately confronted Anders, snapping, “You don’t fear Karlach, you want to kill her on Zariel’s behalf” –
And Anders, knowing he was caught, instantly dropped the act, commenting, “Ha. I never was good at playing the coward.” He followed that up by boasting, “There is no beast here or in the Hells I fear; not with Her Ladyship’s protection. Least of all this dog,” and told Smiler to “reconsider your alliance with this animal. She destroys all she touches. Useful in the Blood War; frighteningly dangerous anywhere else.” He then turned to Karlach and informed her, “Rage all you want, Karlach. Burn with the might of the Hells. Zariel will find you; she will bring you home in pieces, and your little friends with have to watch.” He smirked and added, “Unless we feed you their eyeballs first,” which prompted a very concerned look from Smiler –
And a burst of rage from Karlach that made fire start playing all over her skin as she snarled, “Avernus was never my home. It was my prison. I’m free now. AND I’M NEVER GOING BACK” –
G) And with that, the fight between the party and the Paladins (with Trynn and Anders in the side room, and Cyrel in the storage room, backed up against the wall by the door) commenced! With the game giving me a little pop-up about how, if the party was feeling outmatched, they could always flee from combat… However, with seven versus three, I felt I had a fair shot –
Round One – And then Trynn secured the first slot in the turn order and promptly shot an Arrow of Lightning into the group of Smiler’s companions clustered just outside the door. *wince* Fortunately, most of the companions made their saving throws, with only Astarion and Karlach getting zapped (for 4 and 5 points of damage respectively). Trynn followed this up by casting Hunter’s Mark on Gale and turning him into her quarry – guess she knows you always take out the squishy wizard first! With that all done, she passed the turn order to Shadowheart. I had God’s Favorite Princess run into the side room with Smiler, then examine Trynn to see her stats and resistances and such. Most important thing about her proved to be her Aura of Protection, which granted her a +4 bonus to Saving Throws (which was granted to her by Anders, who, annoyingly, can still do Paladin stuff despite being a servant of Zariel. Shouldn’t he be a Warlock now?). Shadowheart then sized up her chances with her flail – then, seeing that they were not good, decided to instead try Guiding Bolt –
And discovered that she actually had the best chance to hit Cyrel, standing outside. Well then. She thus ran back to the doorway and launched the Bolt at Cyrel, hoping to not only injure her, but give whoever attacked her next Advantage –
Only to critically miss. *facepalm* Girl. I thus had her just move out of the way of the doorway, and ended her turn to move over to Wyll. Our favorite rapier-wielding Warlock actually happened to be right next to Cyrel in her corner, so I had him try a Piercing Strike upon her – it connected, and inflicted upon her a couple of turns of Gaping Wounds, ensuring any future successful attacks would inflict an extra 2 points of piercing damage. Wyll then followed that up with a Flourish, hoping to get her off balance – unfortunately, that one he missed. Ah well! He carefully backed off in such a way that he wouldn’t trigger an Attack Of Opportunity, then ended his turn –
Allowing Astarion to take the floor! He promptly used one of his bonus actions to cast Hunter’s Mark and make Cyrel his quarry, then stabbed her with his Needle Of The Outlaw Rogue. Not only did this hit, it also triggered Astarion’s “sneak attack” reaction, allowing him to make a second attack for even more damage –
And Cyrel hit the floor, very much dead from the massive amount of piercing damage she just took. :D Astarion, riding that high and with one bonus action left, then entered the side room with Anders and Trynn and hit Anders with an off-hand attack with his shiny spare dagger –
And scored a critical hit! Knocking a nice 6 points off the head Paladin’s HP! :D :D Flush with victory, I then had him turn to take his leave –
Forgetting entirely about Attacks of Opportunity. Cue Anders showing why he was not to be fucked with by smashing Astarion over the head with his sword while casting Divine Smite. Cue Astarion taking 15 points of slashing damage and 13 points of radiant damage and hitting the floor, downed. D: Suddenly I better understood why the game warned me about being potentially outmatched!
With Astarion down and slowly dying, turn order passed to Gale – I had him enter the room with Anders and Trynn, then – after considering things for a moment – try a few blasts of Scorching Ray, aiming two at Anders and one at Trynn. Unfortunately, two of the rays missed, leaving Trynn unscathed – but one of the ones on Anders hit, inflicting 4 points of burning damage. *shrug* Better than nothing! Gale then retreated toward a nearby table to let Lae’zel do her thing. She used her bonus action to apply some of the Oil of Accuracy Smiler had provided her earlier to her sword (giving it a +2 bonus to attack rolls), then came at Anders with a Menacing Attack fueled by one of her superiority dice. 8 Slashing damage later, Anders was thoroughly Frightened of her. :D Lae’zel then retreated (safe in the knowledge that Anders couldn’t pull any Attacks Of Opportunity against her) –
And Karlach stepped into the doorway and promptly activated her Rage! Setting herself on fire and showing these fucker Paladins she meant business:
*nods* Epic. Even better, her Rage naturally triggered a Wild Magic Surge due to her subclass, and the effect she got was Weapon Infusion! Granting her greataxe an extra 1D6 of Force damage and making it Light and Throwable. I was thus eager to have her go and cleave one of her hated foes –
Only to discover that, um, she didn’t have the movement to do so. Because, being the group newbie, she didn’t get the benefit of Longstrider. Whoops. A little frustrated, I debated having her help Astarion up instead (which, given she was raging and ON FIRE, didn’t seem like a very good idea) –
And then I remembered – I could throw things. Specifically, I could throw her greataxe now that it was infused with magic. And, after figuring out how to do that (because, actually, I’ve never had cause to use the Throw action before), I had her get into position and launch the axe at Trynn, as she had the better chance to hit her. Cue Trynn taking 15 points of damage, nice. :D Karlach then stepped up to the front, ready to charge in on her next turn –
And finally passing the turn order to Smiler! Who I swear is always last or next-to-last in combat these days – I gotta get them the Alert feat or something. *shakehead* Anyway, they stepped forward, and used their bonus action to hit Astarion with Healing Word, giving the poor guy 7 HP and getting him back on his feet. They then quickly examined Anders and found him sporting a decent Wisdom score – however, not one to back down from a challenge, they decided to see what their chances of getting him with Id Insinuation was anyway.
They were 25%. D: In fact, pretty much all of Smiler’s favorite spells had like NO chance to hit Anders, and only a slightly better chance of hitting Trynn. Smiler immediately decided this was a “buff my allies” round for them and hit Astarion with a dose of Heroism, rendering him immune to being Frightened and granting him 5 temporary hit points (gods know he needed them). They then moved to the back of the room and into the doorway to give themselves a little space when Anders took his turn –
Except. For mysterious reasons, the moment Smiler ended their turn, ASTARION got another one! Possibly because he got downed, and then revived in the same round? At any rate, he had his movement and his two bonus actions back – he promptly took the opportunity to get the hell away from Anders without getting wrecked, then spent his two bonus actions on drinking a healing potion (getting another 6 HP added to his total) and poisoning his beloved Needle for more lethal stabbing purposes. The, and only then, was Anders allowed to take his turn –
And, as he was Frightened and not capable of doing much, he decided it too was a “buff my allies” turn and cast Tyr’s Protection on Trynn, granting her Shield of Faith and giving her +2 to her armor class! Oi, asshole, you’re not longer a Paladin of Tyr! Stop that! >( (A check of the wiki informs me this actually due to his sword, though...his very lootable sword. Guess Lae’zel’s getting a new ability soon. :D)
Round 2 – Turn order returned back to Trynn here – she promptly took advantage of Gale being her quarry to shoot him with an arrow for 11 damage, then ran for the ladder and climbed up to the balcony because she wanted the high ground. I decided she’d be fine up there for the moment and had Shadowheart try to hit Anders with another Guiding Bolt – only for her to miss again. >( Shadowheart, this is not the time to live up to all the memes about you! I had her spend her bonus action on casting Healing Word on Gale to keep him alive a bit longer, then run to the ladder before moving onto Wyll. He came over to the doorway and considered his options –
And I realized, “Hey, we haven’t tried the Chromatic Orb spell granted to him by his circlet. Why not let loose now?” Wyll thus let loose with a classic Thunder Chromatic Orb, since that had the most damage –
And scored a critical hit! Killing Anders where he stood! :D Good going, Wyll! I got him into the room for later tactical positioning purposes, then moved onto Astarion, who was very much back in the game. His incredibly high movement allowed him to easily make it up the ladder and to Trynn (now very much LACKING in defensive bonuses), who he hit with a Piercing Strike – he did 7 damage to the unfortunate halfling, but sadly she managed to make her save against his poison and didn’t take any damage from that. Astarion, undaunted, then moved around her a little and hit her with a pair of Off-Hand Attacks with his other dagger, dropping her health another 6 points –
And opening the floor for Gale to get sweet, sweet revenge as he walked over to an open patch of floor and let fly with good old Magic Missile. Cue Trynn dying, the party getting a bunch of experience, and Lae’zel getting the “Warrior Of The Hells” inspiration. Nice. :)
H) However, while the fight was over, Karlach’s rage wasn’t – as the party reassembled, she started snarling, “Fuck them. Fuck Zariel. I won’t go back. I’m never going back. And if any of mummy’s little friends want to pick up where the others left off...they’ll find nothing but a pile of ash.” Smiler, hoping to calm her down, assured her, “Zariel won’t get near you again. We’ll make sure she won’t” – Karlach responded to this with an angry smile, going, “That’s right, she won’t. She can’t. She couldn’t even lay a finger,” followed by wild laughter –
Followed by her giving in to Unbridled Wrath and wrecking everything around her, screaming things like “Come and get me!” and “I’m never going back!” and “JUST TRY IT, ZARIEL! COME ON!” Which, okay, I’d been somewhat prepared for, as I saw somewhere that she has a little breakdown and wrecks the tollhouse post-Paladin scrap –
But what I wasn’t prepared for was her attacking the party too! Seriously, she hit pretty much everyone for at least one or two points of burning damage as she smashed up everything in her path and scorched the floor something fierce. Smiler, Gale, and Lae’zel fled to the far side of the storage room (since Karlach didn’t seem to be going that far in her rage), while Wyll, Astarion, and Shadowheart scurried up the ladder and bunched up together on the balcony to avoid taking yet more damage:
GIRL. These are your new TEAMMATES. I get that you’re upset, and you have every right to be, but you ain’t exactly making friends by setting them on fire! Sheesh!
I) Fortunately for everyone’s continued health, Karlach eventually calmed down, losing her Unbridled Wrath and instead going to look out one of the windows of the tollhouse by Smiler as she remarked “That ought to do it.” Smiler cautiously approached her as the rest of the party rejoined them, and she informed them that it “Felt good letting off a little steam facing off with this ignots,” before admitting that her fire had lasted longer than it should have. The game presented Smiler with the option to flirt with her a little here by saying she looked “hot,” but I decided that a recently-slightly-scorched Smiler would not be in the mood and instead had them ask, “How could you withstand the heat?” Karlach banged on her chest in response, prompting a loud metal clanking, and said, “Hear that? Infernal engine for a heart. Lets me burn as hot as the Hells. Seems to be running in overdrive since I left Avernus.” She then added, “Won’t be seeing my mechanic any time soon, so I’ll just make the most of the extra heat. Just don’t get too close ‘til I’ve found a way to calm it down.” Smiler, naturally, had to ask, “How the hells did you get an infernal engine for a heart?” – Karlach answered jokingly “High pain tolerance” – and then, much more bitterly, “And a dynamic duo of truly shitty bosses” –
Before breaking out a bit of meta-humor and going, “But it’s a bit early in the game to be getting into tragic backstories. Let’s save the scar-show for later, after we’ve worked up an appetite for tragedy.” :p Oh Karlach, that will not save you from Smiler getting your woes out of you… She then brought the conversation back to more immediate business – namely the fact that they needed to find someone to do something about her engine soon, as it was hot. She offered up that “The first time I faced down those ‘paladins,’ they let slip there was an infernal mechanic in the area. A tiefling. He might be able to stabilize things – if I can find him” –
Which meant that it was very fortunate that Smiler already had! They promptly told her, “Wonder if they meant Dammon – a tiefling weaponsmith,” causing her to muse, “A weaponsmith, huh? Not sure if he’s the guy, but I’d love to find out. A tune-up would do this rusty heart a world of good.” Ending the conversation –
And my playsession! Because we were right at the two-hour mark and I wanted to have my snack. XD So yeah, left things off with the gang hanging out in the wrecked tollhouse – next time, we loot the place (er, what’s LEFT of it), then head back to camp to have a long rest and let everyone recover from Karlach burns! And see if a certain demon bitch shows up to torment Wyll…
YouTube: Twas Saturday today, which meant we had a new video from C. M. Alongi – “CaFae Latte Season 86 - TikTok Compilation!” Watched this a little early today (before my shower) so I’d have more time for the Inevitably Long Write-Up. This season wrapped up the cliffhanger at the end of last season (where Cyrus, Rethu, and Rabbi Rabbit discovered that what appeared to be two of Rabbi Rabbit’s synagogue-goers, Joe and Lucy, being haunted by a poltergeist was actually Joe’s ghost trying to save his wife from SOMETHING going around in his skin with the help of Ghost Hunter John) and featured:
A) Herla (having being summoned to the scene by John) being as stunned and horrified to learn what had happened as any of the others; confirming that yes, the ghost John had been in contact with was Joe, and that he’d bet his immortality that the skinless corpse he’d directed them to was as well; and that the “Joe” they’d spoken to at the house was a demon wearing Joe’s skin. Rethu was like “well, THAT’S new,” while Rabbi Rabbit and John were similarly confused –
But as it turned out, Cyrus was actually vaguely familiar with this concept, asking it if was “demon glamour.” Herla confirmed it was, explaining for the sake of the others that it was a form of shapeshifting demons used since they couldn’t pull off proper form changes like fairies and dragons – ripping the skin off a mortal or creature and then using magic to wear said skin and assume the mortal or creature’s form (kind of like a selkie). Normally demons murder their victims to get the skin, but this demon just happened to be in the right place at the right time to grab Joe’s corpse (Herla suspects they were waiting around the morgue for a good candidate). Poor Rabbi Rabbit was nearly sick hearing this. :( Cyrus confirmed with Herla that he had the jurisdiction to handle this sort of thing, since this shit was most DEFINITELY illegal on Earth – Herla said he did, and that it was actually illegal most other planes of existence as well, including the Abyssal Plane (where demons come from and where the magic was created). Apparently one can use it for spycraft, but in all other cases – well. If you’re wearing another’s skin, you’re a fugitive. Fortunately for everyone, he had access to the list of inter-Realm fugitives, including their full names. John noted that fairies could use full names to jerk around mortals, and asked if it was the same with demons, and Herla commented that they actually had it worse – while Cyrus (if he’d been properly versed in magic) could only use John, Herla, or Rabbit’s names to punish them for disobedience, using a demon’s full name against them would compel them to obey orders. Apparently it was a trade-off for the kind of powers they had. Rethu, hearing this, quietly asked Cyrus why they hadn’t tried that shit against Erik – Cyrus said that Erik was only a quarter demon, and thus it probably wouldn’t have worked against him, and Herla confirmed that, since Erik wasn’t immortal, he was immune to such things. Herla then handed over the tablet with the list of names to John so he could have a look –
And John noted there were a looot of names on there. And when Herla asked if they had time for a proper investigation, Rabbi Rabbit noted they did not, because, well, Lucy was still stuck with whatever demon was in Joe’s skin. Cyrus then asked how they were even going to ID the guy, since he and Rethu had been around “Joe” for half and hour and hadn’t detected squat –
Prompting Herla to explain only a fellow demon could see through the deception. And asking if they knew any. Rethu was immediately like “NO,” but Cyrus, resigned, said, “we do, and as the guy he nearly killed, I think I have final say here.” Cue a call to Erik, who – having just told a guy that he would not be doing any security consulting for his business because the guy had shitty opinions about Catholics, and given Erik himself was Catholic...yeah – was VERY surprised to hear from Cyrus, to the point where he opened the conversation by asking if someone had stolen his phone. Cyrus said no, reminded him of the whole “smoothie of immortality” incident, asked if he was willing to make it up to him…
B) Erik arriving at the hotel the group was currently calling their headquarters, sick to his stomach as Rethu had done some loop-de-loops while ferrying him north (because, well, he DID nearly kill their beloved). He greeted everyone (complimenting “guy I don’t know” on his hat), then confirmed with Herla that he could see through demon glamour, noting that his father used to come to his birthday parties in synthetic skin and that he loved that Erik had always been able to see through it (probably because he thought it indicated Erik was immortal). And yes, as Erik explained to Rabbi Rabbit, apparently demons who want to look like someone else LEGALLY can get factory-made fake skin – it’s a sort of temporary plastic surgery for them. Ew. Anyway, the group brought Erik up to speed on the situation (dead guy haunting his family because a demon stole his skin after he died in an accident; Erik was noticeably creeped out, commenting Cyrus to admit he’d forgotten Erik was thanatophobic – and Rethu to admit they hadn’t), and Erik asked where the guy he needed to ID was. Rabbi Rabbit angrily said “Sleeping in a stolen bed with a stolen wife” and asking why they weren’t moving out already – John explained that going in now would allow the demon to make Lucy a hostage, while Herla added charging in without knowing who the demon was and what they were capable of was a good way to turn poor Lucy and a number of his hunters into corpses. He thus gave Erik a whittled-down list of the fugitives who were practiced in demonic magic, with Erik going “guess I have homework tonight” and scrolling through the names –
Only to pause briefly. Cyrus asked what was wrong, and Erik explained it was nothing, and that he shouldn’t have been surprised to see his father’s name on the list. Rethu asked if that would be a problem, and Erik assured them that no, no it would not – and that he would be very happy if they turned him into demonic jelly, even though he knew they owed him no favors. Rethu reluctantly admitted they wouldn’t be opposed. Cyrus then told Rethu that, even with all this and missing their sushi reservation, this was still one of the best dates he’d ever been on, and Rethu cheerfully agreed, noting “laser tag can eat its heart out.” XD These two…
C) Erik and Cyrus arriving at the park to enact the plan the group had come up with – Erik was a little confused, as he’d thought it was an active crime scene, but Cyrus explained that Herla had talked to the police, and they’d skedaddled after getting the body, and that the park was the only place free of civilians that they could safely lure the demon to. He then got Erik to go over the plan to make sure he had it – Erik dutifully recounted that Rabbi Rabbit would lure the skin stealer to the park alone; Herla, Rethu, and some of Herla’s Wild Hunt would lurk in the nearby buildings to be close at hand should things go sour; Erik would identify the demon (hopefully without needing to scroll through the list); and Cyrus would watch Erik’s back and make sure he didn’t blow it. Cyrus confirmed that was good –
Aaand cue the awkward silence. Erik finally asked how Cyrus was doing, and Cyrus told him about starting up the law firm – Erik was like “oh, so if I get arrested again, I can call you,” and Cyrus replied, “Let’s not go nuts.” Erik: “Worth a shot.” XD A second, shorter awkward silence followed –
And then Cyrus brought up how Erik, the last time they met, had apologized for being an asshole and nearly getting him killed. And then revealed that, if Erik had only hurt him, he actually would have already forgiven Erik, as he wasn’t the type to keep grudges – but as he’d hurt his friends and loved ones as well by pulling the “smoothie of immortality” shit, Erik was still on thin ice. Erik allowed that he was pretty sure he’d messed JC up badly, and Cyrus reminded him that Rethu and Bob had also not been happy. He said that he wouldn’t withhold his forgiveness until they granted it, simply because he never expected JC to forgive Erik, but that he’d still be angry until the sting from the memories had faded. Erik agreed this was fair enough – and then spotted some people walking into the park. Which Cyrus confirmed was Rabbi Rabbit and their target – showtime!
D) Cyrus reminding Erik that they were not there to fight this demon – Erik was there to ID the guy, and Cyrus there to text Herla before they got out of there and let him, the Wild Hunt, and Rethu handle it – and Erik agreeing before confirming that, yes, “Joe” was definitely a demon in human skin (though he wasn’t close enough to tell exactly WHICH demon); Cyrus was surprised that Erik was able to tell from such a distance, and Erik tried to describe how he knew with metaphors like “clothes being too tight” before giving up. The action then swapped to Rabbi Rabbit leading “Joe” over to the pair under the pretense of apologizing for kicking up a fuss and reintroducing Joe to his favorite coffee place (with Joe warning that his tastebuds were apparently a bit different post-accident) –
And then swapped back to Cyrus asking if they were close enough, and Erik going “...yeah.” Cue Cyrus suddenly realizing where this was going, and asking Erik to tell him that it was not who he thought it was –
But we all knew exactly where this was going from the end of video two, didn’t we? Sure enough, the moment “Joe” got close enough, he spotted Erik and went silent –
And Erik greeted him with “’sup Dad?” Cue Cyrus hastily texting Herla and Rabbi Rabbit making a quick exit as Erik’s father Valefar demanded to know what he was doing in the area (“Enjoying the scenery”) with the “Iron Witch’s protege” (“I’m unpredictable like that”). Cyrus warned him that cops already knew what was going on, in case he was thinking of eliminating witnesses – Valefar responded by noting that Cyrus apparently had some useful knife skills (unlike Erik) and that if he had such talents, he wouldn’t hide them – more proof he wasn’t meant to be a fugitive. Cue him then using some sort of smoke bomb to disappear –
And cue the video ending with Erik, who knew his father, shoving Cyrus to the ground as an explosion went off. D:
E) A return to the CaFae with JC going “Gotta love the morning rush” and Bob urging them to take their break, especially since she heard from Drek they’d missed breakfast; JC assured her that they’d snagged an extra muffin, then noted how weird it was to have extra food in the CaFae –
Right as Bob’s phone went off with a call from Cyrus. He reported in about how his and Rethu’s date night had gone “a little sideways” (with Bob putting him on speaker so he could bring her and JC up to speed at the same time), explaining about the whole situation Joe and the demon who stole his skin (JC revealing that they knew a guy who’s demon mother had killed and impersonated people – they still didn’t know how many). Bob asked if the situation was contained, and Cyrus assured her and JC that Valefar had been stomped but good by Rethu, Herla, and the Wild Hunt – mostly because, since he’d been on the run from the Abyssal Realm for both tax evasion and owing money to the mob, the authorities had access to his real name, and that was used to pin him down. Once he could actually hear them ordering him around, of course, given he was throwing smoke bombs and setting fires as distractions – that was all under control now too, though. JC started going on about how you never got in a position to owe money to the mob, no matter how desperate you were –
Then stopped because – wait, Valefar? Which prompted Cyrus to launch into part two of the explanation – namely, how’d they had to recruit Erik to ID the demon in the human skin (pointing out when JC was like “seriously?” that not a lot of demons hung out in a country where the most prominent religion, well, demonized them), and how when Erik recognized him, Valefar freaked out and – not knowing about the heavy hitters hiding out nearby – went after Cyrus because he was the one with 300 years of knife fighting experience. And would have gotten him too –
If Erik hadn’t tackled him out of the way and taken the hit himself. Apparently when the ambulance came and took Erik away, the EMTs said it was very lucky his insides hadn’t ended up all over the sidewalk. Bob then confirmed with Cyrus that Erik had basically saved his life and would be dead himself if not for Lindsey’s protection charm – cue Cyrus holding up Erik’s bloodied and broken necklace and going “yes and yes.” JC was very quiet as they processed this, and Cyrus took the opportunity to tell them that, as far as he was concerned, he and Erik were now even. JC was free to stay mad at him, but Cyrus would be visiting him in the hospital. JC was silent for a little while longer, then asked if he’d informed Lindsey and his mom –
And Cyrus was like “YES OF COURSE I TOLD THEM BEFORE I TALKED TO YOU” and noted Rethu was flying them over – and that, given all the taxi work they’d been putting in through this whole thing, they deserved some extra treats! Which – yes, that is EXTREMELY fair.
F) Rabbi Rabbit checking in with Lucy after most of the shit had wrapped up, telling her about how Valefar was being transferred back to the Abyssal Realm, and assuring her when she said she felt like an idiot that she was not an idiot, she was a grieving widow who had been taken advantage of. Lucy asked why Valefar was being sent back to the Abyssal Realm when his crimes were committed in the human one – turns out he’s not an American citizen, and the current administration was only too happy to let him get dragged back to his home realm than try to deal with him. Figures. Lucy then revealed she’d talked to Ghost Hunter John about talking to Joe one last time, but unfortunately he’d already passed on to the other side – Rabbit let her know about how newer ghosts had less power, and how he might not have been able to stay even if he’d wanted to. Lucy said it sounded like him – “Job’s done, so – time to bail.” Rabbit then said that he’d blocked off tomorrow for the funeral, confirming with her that Joe would have wanted a traditional burial (the less fuss, the better), and assured Lucy that they could have a memorial service at a different date when she worried about everyone being able to make it. He told her to focus on taking care of herself and her kids (who, while adults, HAD just lost a parent), and gave her a folder of resources he’d compiled – grief counselors, crime victim advocates, and – just in case – a sexual violence center. Lucy told him to put that one on the bottom of the pile, as she’d had enough crisis this month. :(
And then a cut to JC arriving at the hospital where Erik had been taken, and – after confirming what number room Erik was in – encountering his mother, Hannah. Who was not exactly happy to see JC, demanding to know why they were here – and when JC was just like “...visiting hours?” pointing out that while she was well aware of how Erik had hurt JC, her son had nearly died and thus if JC was there to berate or yell at him, they could go and save it for when his stitches had come out. JC told her that they’d already yelled at him the week he left jail and that, if they still hated him, they wouldn’t be there, adding that she could watch if she wanted, along with Lindsey, who they assumed was there – Hannah confirmed she was and that she’d convinced her to get some sleep. And that JC had better make her not regret going to get some.
G) And finally Erik in the hospital, telling Lindsey that they could sneak out the back door if they were fast, and Lindsey informing him that – given his lungs, liver, and intestines had been BARELY held in place by her magic and Cyrus’s first aid – he was not going anywhere until the hospital released him. Erik protested that everything was back inside NOW, and he had the stitches to prove it, but Lindsey reminded him that he also had massive blood loss and another bag of blood still to go –
And then, mid-groan, Erik spotted JC entering the room. After a moment’s awkward staring (and Lindsey very deliberately closing her book), Erik declared “Thank god, someone here to end my suffering” and told JC to shoot them either in the neck or between the eyes. JC informed him to shut up and shoved a container into his hands before informing him his mother was still terrifying – Erik admitted “I think she levels up every time Valefar and I do something stupid.” JC allowed that sounded right and greeted Lindsey, who responded with “I believe that’s ‘bitch-in-crime’ to you” – JC admitted “fair” and apologized for that. After another awkward pause, JC said that Rethu had told them Valefar was back in the Abyssal Realm, which Erik confirmed (“hopefully to stay there forever”) while checking the treats in the container and finding peanut butter chocolate (brownies, presumably) – Lindsey admitted that was her favorite, to which JC said “I know.” Lindsey decided she was weak and said she forgave JC and was okay with them and Erik being friends again –
Cue JC being like “that’s not happening.” Erik asked what they were even doing here then – JC shrugged and said “Closure?” Elaborating that, while they weren’t going back to what they had before, they also didn’t actively desire Erik to be hit by a truck, so…yeah. “Have a happy existence?” And cue the video ending on Erik – knowing this was probably as much forgiveness as he’d get from JC, and happy to get it – thanking them and throwing it right back at them. :)
Whew! Yeah, uh, LOT of stuff going on in this season, as you can see! Some very long videos and a lot of action! But I’m glad that they were able to expose the demon posing as Joe, and I’m glad that Erik was able to finish his redemption arc by saving Cyrus – WITHOUT dying, as that would have been too sad. And that JC, even if they can’t be friends with Erik again, was at least able to let go of their grudge against them. *nods* About as happy an ending as they could get, honestly. I can live with that. Now we just have to wait and see what nonsense comes the cast’s way next. :p
Aaand I have officially stayed up WAY later than I'd intended, so it's time to go to bed so I don't sleep through Mother's Day. ^^; Don't know what, if anything, Mom will want to do tomorrow, but my own goals include continuing to work on my Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts; watching the Grand Finale of the F:NV YOLO Remastered series from Jon; playing some Portal 2 and putting Wheatley in charge of the facility; and maybe even working some more on "Londerland Bloodlines: Hollywood's Deluded Depths." We'll see. Night all!
Tumblr: Twas another day without anything happening on Valice Multiverse, but on Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler), I managed to get two things done before lunch –
A) First things first – after changing my sheets and getting dressed and all of that, I immediately dove into my Song Saturday post featuring “Traveler’s Song” by Aviators and finally finished that off! Yeah, turns out trying to explain that I found the song shortly after encountering their Baldur’s Gate III-inspired song “Make Your Move,” ended up associating it with BG3 as well thanks to a lot of the lyrics in the song fitting the game’s storyline, then finally made it a “Valicer In The Dark meets Baldur’s Gate III” song after I started coming up with all those thoughts and began picturing it as the kind of song Smiler would sing at the grove celebration party is a lot easier at noon than one in the morning. ^^; Got it sorted by 12:09 PM, twenty minutes before the post was scheduled to go up. Bit more last-minute than I usually like with my queued posts, but at least I got it done!
B) And second, I spent some time working on the “Valicer Eats God” post, which included:
I. Organizing Victor and Smiler’s sections to match Alice’s in format, so I have the same categories covering all aspects of character creation for all three
II. Doing proper write-ups for Victor and Smiler’s chosen traits, which included canonizing “Lanky Limbs” as Victor’s third trait after going through the others and confirming that no, that one fits him the best alongside “Fast Feet” and “Sticky Steps”
III. Deciding on Victor and Smiler’s creeds (the reasons why they want to eat God) – Victor’s is so far “it really feels like God is out to get me and my friends, so I want to show Him how it feels,” while Smiler’s is “God is doing a shit job of making people happy, so I’m going to destroy Him so someone or something else can take over”
IV. Deciding on Victor and Smiler’s quirks (some extra little personality traits to flesh them out) – Smiler’s is “has strong opinions on how to correctly make tea,” but I’m still figuring if I want Victor’s to be “world-class expert in some obscure and mostly irrelevant academic field” (with the field being, naturally, the study of butterflies and moths), “untargeted mishaps actually target him most frequently” (just funny, and ties in well with his creed), or “can interact with immaterial beings, such as ghosts, as if they were solid” (given Victor’s adventures in the Land of the Dead in Corpse Bride, this feels like a natural trait for him to have)
So that’s slowly but surely starting to come together, yay!
Baldur’s Gate III: Ended up playing a two hour session of this today instead of my usual one – which is what happens when you mix inventory management, important character convos, and paladin fights, it appears! But it was a very productive session, and I will be happy to tell you all about it –
A) Picked up right where I left off last time, with Smiler and the gang hanging out at the bottom of a ladder up to the upper levels of the Risen Road tollhouse, ready to climb up and confront the false Paladins of Tyr hunting Karlach inside – but before we did that, I decided that I wanted to bring everyone back to camp, get their thoughts on the Karlach and Wyll situation, and make sure Karlach was appropriately kitted out for the big battle. So off to the Wilderness camp the gang went, where I discovered with interest that Karlach’s tent was apparently right next to Smiler’s spawn point. Well, that’ll make it convenient to talk to her while at this camp, at least! :p First, though, they had to get the other companion’s thoughts on the new recruit, and thus made the usual rounds:
I. Shadowheart was relieved to note that “Karlch and Wyll seem to have put their differences aside. I thought it was going to come to blows for a moment.” Good thing Wyll was easily persuaded that he’d made a mistake, huh?
II. Astarion, by contrast, complained, “I thought we were going to see some real sparks fly between Wyll and Karlach. It’s almost a pity things ended so amicably, seeing those two duke it out would be fun.” To be fair, seeing them spar probably WOULD be interesting...but as that isn’t a thing in this game, seeing them fight side by side will have to do, Astarion!
III. Lae’zel was direct and to the point, as always, stating, “Karlach’s got the brawn of a warrior and the wiles of a survivor. Best of all, she speaks her mind, plainly and fully. Show her due respect.” Yeah, I already know you want to climb that tiefling like a tree, Lae’zel. XD But don’t worry, Smiler is all on board with showing her respect.
IV. Gale was his usual eloquent self, commenting, “A devil and devil hunter, standing shoulder to shoulder against a common enemy. Rather poetic, I think.” It is, rather, Gale, thank you.
V. And Wyll – had no special lines, greeting Smiler with his generic “Well met.” Which annoyed me at first, but then I remembered “well, they did get a cutscene together earlier, and our next long rest should trigger the special cutscene where Mizora shows up, which is also all about Wyll and Karlach,” so I’m a little less annoyed now. Still, a line about how he’s horrified about how close he came to killing an undeserving target or something would not have gone amiss! Just another instance of Wyll getting screwed over by Larian’s writers...
B) Having chatted with all the other companions, Smiler then jogged back over to Karlach’s tent to chat with her so she didn’t feel left out. :p Karlach greeted them with a friendly “Heya,” and Smiler decided to dive straight in by asking “So – how did you end up fighting in the Blood War?” After all, they’d gotten enough glimpses of her in battle thanks to the tadpole bond – they wanted to know what had brought her into Zariel’s service in the first place! Karlach, however, wasn’t really into sharing her backstory yet, telling them, “Trust me, I’ll tell you all about it – after we take care of the goons on my tail.” All right, fair enough – we already knew that she was pretty obsessed with taking out the paladins! (In fact, that’s why I originally thought I might only head back to camp after the fight – I wasn’t sure how talkative she’d be.) Smiler thus decided to try another topic, noting that “This isn’t where I thought I’d end up. How about you?” –
Prompting an amused Karlach to go, “Funny you should ask – I was just thinking about what would’ve become of us without that nautiloid.” She then elaborated, “I mean, I know where I’d be. Trapped in Avernus still, with the Blade of Frontiers on my tail. But what about you?” Now, as per the backstory I made up for them, Smiler would have been traveling the Sword Coast in their wagon, selling potions to all the various people they met –
But, well, that obviously wasn’t an option, so instead I had them go for “I’d be in the middle of another adventure, blessedly free of any tadpole.” Karlach laughed and revealed that “I can picture you getting mixed up in some outrageous shit. Giants, beholders, Thayans, the works,” prompting an amused smile from Smiler. Yes, they will sell to just about anybody! She then concluded the conversation with “Maybe once we’ve wrapped up the current shenanigans, we’ll rest a bit and find some new heap of trouble to throw ourselves at.” Sounds good to me, Karlach – and sounds good to Smiler too, given they fully intend to romance you! (And Wyll, but somehow I doubt you’ll mind that.)
C) Companion conversations covered, it was time to move onto the next order of business – making sure everyone’s inventory was in tip-top shape and that Karlach was properly outfitted for the big fight! After a quick check of the camp chest confirmed that yes, I did have stuff sitting in there waiting for her, I went into party mode, opened up everyone’s inventories and the camp chest, and did the following:
I. Gave Karlach her set of smart containers (potion bag, poison satchel, explosives box, arrow quiver, scroll case, and book backpack) so she could keep all her stuff in the appropriate containers, just like the rest of my lot
II. Outfitted Karlach with the Bloodsoaked Armwraps I found before and stored away waiting for her because they’re only good for a Barbarian like her – for reference, their special ability is granting a turn of Wrath (which adds +1 to damage with all melee weapons) whenever a Barbarian activates their Rage (which already adds +2 damage to all melee and thrown weapons). Much better than her previous, non-magical wraps!
III. Opened up the dye container, scrolled until I found the “Karlach Origins” dye (as I wasn’t dying her shit ZARIEL colors), and then dyed all her clothes, including armwraps and boots, a pleasant dark red using that dye. Gotta make sure her outfit is on theme! (Though I did somehow knock myself out of party inventory mode while doing her boots. O.o At least it was easy enough to pop back in!)
IV. Had Wyll give her the Bicorne of the Sea Beast hat so I could see how it looked on her – answer was, sadly, bad. Screwed up her hairstyle by giving her long hair, which – just did not suit her. Shame! I was hoping to find SOMEONE who looked good in the hat.
V. Took a look at her weapon and armor proficiencies – and, upon seeing “Shields” listed as one of them (along with all martial weapons, all simple weapons, Light Armor, and Medium Armor), had Smiler give her the spiked shield they were carrying around. Dunno if she’ll ever USE it, but it’s good for her to have in an emergency, and better the strong lady carry it around over the fairly weedy Smiler! :p I also checked everyone’s inventories to see if anyone had a better weapon for her – nothing doing; she was stuck with her greataxe – and made a note of her current HP – 32! Not too shabby for level 3.
VI. Noted there was something still in the Peculiar Clothing Chest in the camp chest and opened it up to find the Cape of the Red Prince...and when I tried that on Karlach, I thought, “hey, she looks pretty good.” Like, yes, her tail clips through it, but still – it looked pretty snazzy on her! I thus slapped it on her and tossed the Bicorne in the PCC instead. We’ll find a head for you eventually, buddy! If nothing else, we might put you on Minsc all the way in Act 3. :p
VII. And – having confirmed I was done with Karlach’s inventory for the moment – swapped back to Smiler and had them give their two trap disarm kits and set of thieves’ tools to Astarion (who is our trap and lockpicking guy) before putting away in the camp chest a spare set of clothes, a spare set of light armor, a patched and worn teddy bear they found laying around, a magnifying glass, a cup, a bottle, a spare length of rope, some wheat, seven of their nine candles (I kept the one in their Bewildering Adventurer’s pack and another in their main inventory just in case), the goblin bow and scimitar, and all the spare daggers they’d picked up. I also took a moment to have them try on the Hat Of Siren’s Call they were carrying around, but took it off right away – like Karlach, Smiler doesn’t look good in hats because they fuck up their hairstyle (basically, they look bald because their bangs vanish). Ironic, given they’re the member of my OT3 I most often picture in a hat thanks to a flat cap being an iconic part of their VITD costume!
And there you have it! Karlach fully smart-containered up and smartly dressed for her adventures with the group. Here’s a screenshot of her in her new fit:
I think she looks ready for a fight with some paladins, don’t you?
D) Having taken nearly an hour just to check in with everyone and organize inventories, I decided it was about time the adventure continued and sent everyone back to the tollhouse! Smiler led the way up the ladder to the upper balconies, then up the nearby flight of stairs over to the door that Cyrel was popping in and out of (she in fact came out while the party was heading over – her expression naturally didn’t change, but I like to think she was a little “??!” about all these weirdos suddenly arriving on their doorstep). They took a moment to check the containers outside – the trunk was empty, but the barrel contained two water carafes, which was nice – then followed Cyrel through the door into what looked like a storeroom of sorts, full of various boxes and bags and at least one baguette sitting on a table –
And a dead refugee corpse! With a green glow over it, which I think it is the “tell” for “you can talk to this corpse with Speak With Dead.” Though, interestingly, seeing that glow and realizing Smiler had another dead body to chat with actually made me remember something else – namely, that in the upcoming conversation between Karlach and Anders, if you had the ability to read his mind, you could find incontrovertible proof that Anders was in league with Zariel. I thus had Smiler quickly down one of the Potions of Mind-Reading they had in their potions bag in preparation for that! I do like having options during the dialogue cutscenes, after all. (...and also I have trouble remembering that passing skill checks in this game does NOT usually result in bonus XP, like it does in the Fallout games. ^^;)
E) Speaking of dialogue cutscenes, Smiler had two to initiate out here before going to find Anders, leader of these supposed paladins. They started with Cyrel, the wandering paladin they’d seen before – however, Cyrel wasn’t much up for conversation, snapping at them to “Keep that beast away from us – you hear?” Karlach, pissed, went, “Me the beast? Now that’s fucking rich” and promptly asserted dominance over Cyrel by standing on a nearby box as Smiler went to question the corpse:
...okay, yes, that was just the game having her climb onto a box because there wasn’t enough floor space for the party to properly spread out, but it FELT like her asserting dominance. XD
Anyway – having gotten nothing out of Cyrel, Smiler turned their attention to the refugee corpse, raising it off the floor with the power of Speak With Dead and preparing their five questions – first one, unsurprisingly, was “Who are you?” The refugee replied, “...infernal...servant...so long I’ve forgotten...why…” Smiler then followed up with “How did you die?” –
And got “...Zariel’s brute...destroyed me…” Ah – so he was one of the Paladins that Karlach bested during their previous confrontation! Smiler then noted (without any evidence, because I think you’re supposed to explore the outside of the teahouse and see the dead gnolls outside first before going after the paladins – whoops) “You killed a pack of gnolls. How?” The corpse informed Smiler that was a result of “...the pact...power…” Smiler, intrigued, asked, “A pact? Which devil did you deal with?” –
And, naturally, the former fake paladin responded, “...fallen...lady...Zariel…” Pretty much confirming Karlach’s story! Smiler’s final question before the spell waned was “Why would you sign a pact with a devil?” to which the dead paladin replied “...power…strength…” before falling to the floor lifeless again. Not sure what else you were expecting there, Smiler! Though I guess you do have a weird perspective on the subject of pacts, being tied to an eldritch being of happiness who you consider part of your family (and vice-versa).
F) With the underling and the corpse spoken to, it was time to find the boss and confront him! And as there was only one other door to try in this whole room, directly to the left of the corpse, Smiler stuck their head through that in hopes of getting lucky. And they very much did, finding Anders and his fellow paladin Trynn (a lightfoot halfling, if you were curious – Anders and Cyrel are both humans) in a side room that looked a bit like an office (it had desks, at least) with a mezzanine balcony over looking it. They were having a chat about the gnolls in the area, but broke off when they saw Smiler –
Mostly because Karlach naturally followed them in (at least in the cutscene). Anders promptly pretended to be frightened, begging, “Please – no more! Leave us in peace, and we shall leave you in kind.” Karlach, however, wasn’t having any of it, snapping, “Cut the crap, Anders. I know what you are.” Anders ignored her and turned his attention to Smiler, pleading, “Don’t let her hurt us – please, we just want to go home.” And while Smiler already had proof the “paladins” were working for Zariel from the corpse, since they’d drunk the Potion of Mind Reading, I went ahead and had them probe his thoughts…
And after passing a DC 11 Intelligence check with a solid 17, they heard the smug bastard think to himself, The Archduchess will be delighted when we return with Karlach’s head on a pike. D: Smiler immediately confronted Anders, snapping, “You don’t fear Karlach, you want to kill her on Zariel’s behalf” –
And Anders, knowing he was caught, instantly dropped the act, commenting, “Ha. I never was good at playing the coward.” He followed that up by boasting, “There is no beast here or in the Hells I fear; not with Her Ladyship’s protection. Least of all this dog,” and told Smiler to “reconsider your alliance with this animal. She destroys all she touches. Useful in the Blood War; frighteningly dangerous anywhere else.” He then turned to Karlach and informed her, “Rage all you want, Karlach. Burn with the might of the Hells. Zariel will find you; she will bring you home in pieces, and your little friends with have to watch.” He smirked and added, “Unless we feed you their eyeballs first,” which prompted a very concerned look from Smiler –
And a burst of rage from Karlach that made fire start playing all over her skin as she snarled, “Avernus was never my home. It was my prison. I’m free now. AND I’M NEVER GOING BACK” –
G) And with that, the fight between the party and the Paladins (with Trynn and Anders in the side room, and Cyrel in the storage room, backed up against the wall by the door) commenced! With the game giving me a little pop-up about how, if the party was feeling outmatched, they could always flee from combat… However, with seven versus three, I felt I had a fair shot –
Round One – And then Trynn secured the first slot in the turn order and promptly shot an Arrow of Lightning into the group of Smiler’s companions clustered just outside the door. *wince* Fortunately, most of the companions made their saving throws, with only Astarion and Karlach getting zapped (for 4 and 5 points of damage respectively). Trynn followed this up by casting Hunter’s Mark on Gale and turning him into her quarry – guess she knows you always take out the squishy wizard first! With that all done, she passed the turn order to Shadowheart. I had God’s Favorite Princess run into the side room with Smiler, then examine Trynn to see her stats and resistances and such. Most important thing about her proved to be her Aura of Protection, which granted her a +4 bonus to Saving Throws (which was granted to her by Anders, who, annoyingly, can still do Paladin stuff despite being a servant of Zariel. Shouldn’t he be a Warlock now?). Shadowheart then sized up her chances with her flail – then, seeing that they were not good, decided to instead try Guiding Bolt –
And discovered that she actually had the best chance to hit Cyrel, standing outside. Well then. She thus ran back to the doorway and launched the Bolt at Cyrel, hoping to not only injure her, but give whoever attacked her next Advantage –
Only to critically miss. *facepalm* Girl. I thus had her just move out of the way of the doorway, and ended her turn to move over to Wyll. Our favorite rapier-wielding Warlock actually happened to be right next to Cyrel in her corner, so I had him try a Piercing Strike upon her – it connected, and inflicted upon her a couple of turns of Gaping Wounds, ensuring any future successful attacks would inflict an extra 2 points of piercing damage. Wyll then followed that up with a Flourish, hoping to get her off balance – unfortunately, that one he missed. Ah well! He carefully backed off in such a way that he wouldn’t trigger an Attack Of Opportunity, then ended his turn –
Allowing Astarion to take the floor! He promptly used one of his bonus actions to cast Hunter’s Mark and make Cyrel his quarry, then stabbed her with his Needle Of The Outlaw Rogue. Not only did this hit, it also triggered Astarion’s “sneak attack” reaction, allowing him to make a second attack for even more damage –
And Cyrel hit the floor, very much dead from the massive amount of piercing damage she just took. :D Astarion, riding that high and with one bonus action left, then entered the side room with Anders and Trynn and hit Anders with an off-hand attack with his shiny spare dagger –
And scored a critical hit! Knocking a nice 6 points off the head Paladin’s HP! :D :D Flush with victory, I then had him turn to take his leave –
Forgetting entirely about Attacks of Opportunity. Cue Anders showing why he was not to be fucked with by smashing Astarion over the head with his sword while casting Divine Smite. Cue Astarion taking 15 points of slashing damage and 13 points of radiant damage and hitting the floor, downed. D: Suddenly I better understood why the game warned me about being potentially outmatched!
With Astarion down and slowly dying, turn order passed to Gale – I had him enter the room with Anders and Trynn, then – after considering things for a moment – try a few blasts of Scorching Ray, aiming two at Anders and one at Trynn. Unfortunately, two of the rays missed, leaving Trynn unscathed – but one of the ones on Anders hit, inflicting 4 points of burning damage. *shrug* Better than nothing! Gale then retreated toward a nearby table to let Lae’zel do her thing. She used her bonus action to apply some of the Oil of Accuracy Smiler had provided her earlier to her sword (giving it a +2 bonus to attack rolls), then came at Anders with a Menacing Attack fueled by one of her superiority dice. 8 Slashing damage later, Anders was thoroughly Frightened of her. :D Lae’zel then retreated (safe in the knowledge that Anders couldn’t pull any Attacks Of Opportunity against her) –
And Karlach stepped into the doorway and promptly activated her Rage! Setting herself on fire and showing these fucker Paladins she meant business:
*nods* Epic. Even better, her Rage naturally triggered a Wild Magic Surge due to her subclass, and the effect she got was Weapon Infusion! Granting her greataxe an extra 1D6 of Force damage and making it Light and Throwable. I was thus eager to have her go and cleave one of her hated foes –
Only to discover that, um, she didn’t have the movement to do so. Because, being the group newbie, she didn’t get the benefit of Longstrider. Whoops. A little frustrated, I debated having her help Astarion up instead (which, given she was raging and ON FIRE, didn’t seem like a very good idea) –
And then I remembered – I could throw things. Specifically, I could throw her greataxe now that it was infused with magic. And, after figuring out how to do that (because, actually, I’ve never had cause to use the Throw action before), I had her get into position and launch the axe at Trynn, as she had the better chance to hit her. Cue Trynn taking 15 points of damage, nice. :D Karlach then stepped up to the front, ready to charge in on her next turn –
And finally passing the turn order to Smiler! Who I swear is always last or next-to-last in combat these days – I gotta get them the Alert feat or something. *shakehead* Anyway, they stepped forward, and used their bonus action to hit Astarion with Healing Word, giving the poor guy 7 HP and getting him back on his feet. They then quickly examined Anders and found him sporting a decent Wisdom score – however, not one to back down from a challenge, they decided to see what their chances of getting him with Id Insinuation was anyway.
They were 25%. D: In fact, pretty much all of Smiler’s favorite spells had like NO chance to hit Anders, and only a slightly better chance of hitting Trynn. Smiler immediately decided this was a “buff my allies” round for them and hit Astarion with a dose of Heroism, rendering him immune to being Frightened and granting him 5 temporary hit points (gods know he needed them). They then moved to the back of the room and into the doorway to give themselves a little space when Anders took his turn –
Except. For mysterious reasons, the moment Smiler ended their turn, ASTARION got another one! Possibly because he got downed, and then revived in the same round? At any rate, he had his movement and his two bonus actions back – he promptly took the opportunity to get the hell away from Anders without getting wrecked, then spent his two bonus actions on drinking a healing potion (getting another 6 HP added to his total) and poisoning his beloved Needle for more lethal stabbing purposes. The, and only then, was Anders allowed to take his turn –
And, as he was Frightened and not capable of doing much, he decided it too was a “buff my allies” turn and cast Tyr’s Protection on Trynn, granting her Shield of Faith and giving her +2 to her armor class! Oi, asshole, you’re not longer a Paladin of Tyr! Stop that! >( (A check of the wiki informs me this actually due to his sword, though...his very lootable sword. Guess Lae’zel’s getting a new ability soon. :D)
Round 2 – Turn order returned back to Trynn here – she promptly took advantage of Gale being her quarry to shoot him with an arrow for 11 damage, then ran for the ladder and climbed up to the balcony because she wanted the high ground. I decided she’d be fine up there for the moment and had Shadowheart try to hit Anders with another Guiding Bolt – only for her to miss again. >( Shadowheart, this is not the time to live up to all the memes about you! I had her spend her bonus action on casting Healing Word on Gale to keep him alive a bit longer, then run to the ladder before moving onto Wyll. He came over to the doorway and considered his options –
And I realized, “Hey, we haven’t tried the Chromatic Orb spell granted to him by his circlet. Why not let loose now?” Wyll thus let loose with a classic Thunder Chromatic Orb, since that had the most damage –
And scored a critical hit! Killing Anders where he stood! :D Good going, Wyll! I got him into the room for later tactical positioning purposes, then moved onto Astarion, who was very much back in the game. His incredibly high movement allowed him to easily make it up the ladder and to Trynn (now very much LACKING in defensive bonuses), who he hit with a Piercing Strike – he did 7 damage to the unfortunate halfling, but sadly she managed to make her save against his poison and didn’t take any damage from that. Astarion, undaunted, then moved around her a little and hit her with a pair of Off-Hand Attacks with his other dagger, dropping her health another 6 points –
And opening the floor for Gale to get sweet, sweet revenge as he walked over to an open patch of floor and let fly with good old Magic Missile. Cue Trynn dying, the party getting a bunch of experience, and Lae’zel getting the “Warrior Of The Hells” inspiration. Nice. :)
H) However, while the fight was over, Karlach’s rage wasn’t – as the party reassembled, she started snarling, “Fuck them. Fuck Zariel. I won’t go back. I’m never going back. And if any of mummy’s little friends want to pick up where the others left off...they’ll find nothing but a pile of ash.” Smiler, hoping to calm her down, assured her, “Zariel won’t get near you again. We’ll make sure she won’t” – Karlach responded to this with an angry smile, going, “That’s right, she won’t. She can’t. She couldn’t even lay a finger,” followed by wild laughter –
Followed by her giving in to Unbridled Wrath and wrecking everything around her, screaming things like “Come and get me!” and “I’m never going back!” and “JUST TRY IT, ZARIEL! COME ON!” Which, okay, I’d been somewhat prepared for, as I saw somewhere that she has a little breakdown and wrecks the tollhouse post-Paladin scrap –
But what I wasn’t prepared for was her attacking the party too! Seriously, she hit pretty much everyone for at least one or two points of burning damage as she smashed up everything in her path and scorched the floor something fierce. Smiler, Gale, and Lae’zel fled to the far side of the storage room (since Karlach didn’t seem to be going that far in her rage), while Wyll, Astarion, and Shadowheart scurried up the ladder and bunched up together on the balcony to avoid taking yet more damage:
GIRL. These are your new TEAMMATES. I get that you’re upset, and you have every right to be, but you ain’t exactly making friends by setting them on fire! Sheesh!
I) Fortunately for everyone’s continued health, Karlach eventually calmed down, losing her Unbridled Wrath and instead going to look out one of the windows of the tollhouse by Smiler as she remarked “That ought to do it.” Smiler cautiously approached her as the rest of the party rejoined them, and she informed them that it “Felt good letting off a little steam facing off with this ignots,” before admitting that her fire had lasted longer than it should have. The game presented Smiler with the option to flirt with her a little here by saying she looked “hot,” but I decided that a recently-slightly-scorched Smiler would not be in the mood and instead had them ask, “How could you withstand the heat?” Karlach banged on her chest in response, prompting a loud metal clanking, and said, “Hear that? Infernal engine for a heart. Lets me burn as hot as the Hells. Seems to be running in overdrive since I left Avernus.” She then added, “Won’t be seeing my mechanic any time soon, so I’ll just make the most of the extra heat. Just don’t get too close ‘til I’ve found a way to calm it down.” Smiler, naturally, had to ask, “How the hells did you get an infernal engine for a heart?” – Karlach answered jokingly “High pain tolerance” – and then, much more bitterly, “And a dynamic duo of truly shitty bosses” –
Before breaking out a bit of meta-humor and going, “But it’s a bit early in the game to be getting into tragic backstories. Let’s save the scar-show for later, after we’ve worked up an appetite for tragedy.” :p Oh Karlach, that will not save you from Smiler getting your woes out of you… She then brought the conversation back to more immediate business – namely the fact that they needed to find someone to do something about her engine soon, as it was hot. She offered up that “The first time I faced down those ‘paladins,’ they let slip there was an infernal mechanic in the area. A tiefling. He might be able to stabilize things – if I can find him” –
Which meant that it was very fortunate that Smiler already had! They promptly told her, “Wonder if they meant Dammon – a tiefling weaponsmith,” causing her to muse, “A weaponsmith, huh? Not sure if he’s the guy, but I’d love to find out. A tune-up would do this rusty heart a world of good.” Ending the conversation –
And my playsession! Because we were right at the two-hour mark and I wanted to have my snack. XD So yeah, left things off with the gang hanging out in the wrecked tollhouse – next time, we loot the place (er, what’s LEFT of it), then head back to camp to have a long rest and let everyone recover from Karlach burns! And see if a certain demon bitch shows up to torment Wyll…
YouTube: Twas Saturday today, which meant we had a new video from C. M. Alongi – “CaFae Latte Season 86 - TikTok Compilation!” Watched this a little early today (before my shower) so I’d have more time for the Inevitably Long Write-Up. This season wrapped up the cliffhanger at the end of last season (where Cyrus, Rethu, and Rabbi Rabbit discovered that what appeared to be two of Rabbi Rabbit’s synagogue-goers, Joe and Lucy, being haunted by a poltergeist was actually Joe’s ghost trying to save his wife from SOMETHING going around in his skin with the help of Ghost Hunter John) and featured:
A) Herla (having being summoned to the scene by John) being as stunned and horrified to learn what had happened as any of the others; confirming that yes, the ghost John had been in contact with was Joe, and that he’d bet his immortality that the skinless corpse he’d directed them to was as well; and that the “Joe” they’d spoken to at the house was a demon wearing Joe’s skin. Rethu was like “well, THAT’S new,” while Rabbi Rabbit and John were similarly confused –
But as it turned out, Cyrus was actually vaguely familiar with this concept, asking it if was “demon glamour.” Herla confirmed it was, explaining for the sake of the others that it was a form of shapeshifting demons used since they couldn’t pull off proper form changes like fairies and dragons – ripping the skin off a mortal or creature and then using magic to wear said skin and assume the mortal or creature’s form (kind of like a selkie). Normally demons murder their victims to get the skin, but this demon just happened to be in the right place at the right time to grab Joe’s corpse (Herla suspects they were waiting around the morgue for a good candidate). Poor Rabbi Rabbit was nearly sick hearing this. :( Cyrus confirmed with Herla that he had the jurisdiction to handle this sort of thing, since this shit was most DEFINITELY illegal on Earth – Herla said he did, and that it was actually illegal most other planes of existence as well, including the Abyssal Plane (where demons come from and where the magic was created). Apparently one can use it for spycraft, but in all other cases – well. If you’re wearing another’s skin, you’re a fugitive. Fortunately for everyone, he had access to the list of inter-Realm fugitives, including their full names. John noted that fairies could use full names to jerk around mortals, and asked if it was the same with demons, and Herla commented that they actually had it worse – while Cyrus (if he’d been properly versed in magic) could only use John, Herla, or Rabbit’s names to punish them for disobedience, using a demon’s full name against them would compel them to obey orders. Apparently it was a trade-off for the kind of powers they had. Rethu, hearing this, quietly asked Cyrus why they hadn’t tried that shit against Erik – Cyrus said that Erik was only a quarter demon, and thus it probably wouldn’t have worked against him, and Herla confirmed that, since Erik wasn’t immortal, he was immune to such things. Herla then handed over the tablet with the list of names to John so he could have a look –
And John noted there were a looot of names on there. And when Herla asked if they had time for a proper investigation, Rabbi Rabbit noted they did not, because, well, Lucy was still stuck with whatever demon was in Joe’s skin. Cyrus then asked how they were even going to ID the guy, since he and Rethu had been around “Joe” for half and hour and hadn’t detected squat –
Prompting Herla to explain only a fellow demon could see through the deception. And asking if they knew any. Rethu was immediately like “NO,” but Cyrus, resigned, said, “we do, and as the guy he nearly killed, I think I have final say here.” Cue a call to Erik, who – having just told a guy that he would not be doing any security consulting for his business because the guy had shitty opinions about Catholics, and given Erik himself was Catholic...yeah – was VERY surprised to hear from Cyrus, to the point where he opened the conversation by asking if someone had stolen his phone. Cyrus said no, reminded him of the whole “smoothie of immortality” incident, asked if he was willing to make it up to him…
B) Erik arriving at the hotel the group was currently calling their headquarters, sick to his stomach as Rethu had done some loop-de-loops while ferrying him north (because, well, he DID nearly kill their beloved). He greeted everyone (complimenting “guy I don’t know” on his hat), then confirmed with Herla that he could see through demon glamour, noting that his father used to come to his birthday parties in synthetic skin and that he loved that Erik had always been able to see through it (probably because he thought it indicated Erik was immortal). And yes, as Erik explained to Rabbi Rabbit, apparently demons who want to look like someone else LEGALLY can get factory-made fake skin – it’s a sort of temporary plastic surgery for them. Ew. Anyway, the group brought Erik up to speed on the situation (dead guy haunting his family because a demon stole his skin after he died in an accident; Erik was noticeably creeped out, commenting Cyrus to admit he’d forgotten Erik was thanatophobic – and Rethu to admit they hadn’t), and Erik asked where the guy he needed to ID was. Rabbi Rabbit angrily said “Sleeping in a stolen bed with a stolen wife” and asking why they weren’t moving out already – John explained that going in now would allow the demon to make Lucy a hostage, while Herla added charging in without knowing who the demon was and what they were capable of was a good way to turn poor Lucy and a number of his hunters into corpses. He thus gave Erik a whittled-down list of the fugitives who were practiced in demonic magic, with Erik going “guess I have homework tonight” and scrolling through the names –
Only to pause briefly. Cyrus asked what was wrong, and Erik explained it was nothing, and that he shouldn’t have been surprised to see his father’s name on the list. Rethu asked if that would be a problem, and Erik assured them that no, no it would not – and that he would be very happy if they turned him into demonic jelly, even though he knew they owed him no favors. Rethu reluctantly admitted they wouldn’t be opposed. Cyrus then told Rethu that, even with all this and missing their sushi reservation, this was still one of the best dates he’d ever been on, and Rethu cheerfully agreed, noting “laser tag can eat its heart out.” XD These two…
C) Erik and Cyrus arriving at the park to enact the plan the group had come up with – Erik was a little confused, as he’d thought it was an active crime scene, but Cyrus explained that Herla had talked to the police, and they’d skedaddled after getting the body, and that the park was the only place free of civilians that they could safely lure the demon to. He then got Erik to go over the plan to make sure he had it – Erik dutifully recounted that Rabbi Rabbit would lure the skin stealer to the park alone; Herla, Rethu, and some of Herla’s Wild Hunt would lurk in the nearby buildings to be close at hand should things go sour; Erik would identify the demon (hopefully without needing to scroll through the list); and Cyrus would watch Erik’s back and make sure he didn’t blow it. Cyrus confirmed that was good –
Aaand cue the awkward silence. Erik finally asked how Cyrus was doing, and Cyrus told him about starting up the law firm – Erik was like “oh, so if I get arrested again, I can call you,” and Cyrus replied, “Let’s not go nuts.” Erik: “Worth a shot.” XD A second, shorter awkward silence followed –
And then Cyrus brought up how Erik, the last time they met, had apologized for being an asshole and nearly getting him killed. And then revealed that, if Erik had only hurt him, he actually would have already forgiven Erik, as he wasn’t the type to keep grudges – but as he’d hurt his friends and loved ones as well by pulling the “smoothie of immortality” shit, Erik was still on thin ice. Erik allowed that he was pretty sure he’d messed JC up badly, and Cyrus reminded him that Rethu and Bob had also not been happy. He said that he wouldn’t withhold his forgiveness until they granted it, simply because he never expected JC to forgive Erik, but that he’d still be angry until the sting from the memories had faded. Erik agreed this was fair enough – and then spotted some people walking into the park. Which Cyrus confirmed was Rabbi Rabbit and their target – showtime!
D) Cyrus reminding Erik that they were not there to fight this demon – Erik was there to ID the guy, and Cyrus there to text Herla before they got out of there and let him, the Wild Hunt, and Rethu handle it – and Erik agreeing before confirming that, yes, “Joe” was definitely a demon in human skin (though he wasn’t close enough to tell exactly WHICH demon); Cyrus was surprised that Erik was able to tell from such a distance, and Erik tried to describe how he knew with metaphors like “clothes being too tight” before giving up. The action then swapped to Rabbi Rabbit leading “Joe” over to the pair under the pretense of apologizing for kicking up a fuss and reintroducing Joe to his favorite coffee place (with Joe warning that his tastebuds were apparently a bit different post-accident) –
And then swapped back to Cyrus asking if they were close enough, and Erik going “...yeah.” Cue Cyrus suddenly realizing where this was going, and asking Erik to tell him that it was not who he thought it was –
But we all knew exactly where this was going from the end of video two, didn’t we? Sure enough, the moment “Joe” got close enough, he spotted Erik and went silent –
And Erik greeted him with “’sup Dad?” Cue Cyrus hastily texting Herla and Rabbi Rabbit making a quick exit as Erik’s father Valefar demanded to know what he was doing in the area (“Enjoying the scenery”) with the “Iron Witch’s protege” (“I’m unpredictable like that”). Cyrus warned him that cops already knew what was going on, in case he was thinking of eliminating witnesses – Valefar responded by noting that Cyrus apparently had some useful knife skills (unlike Erik) and that if he had such talents, he wouldn’t hide them – more proof he wasn’t meant to be a fugitive. Cue him then using some sort of smoke bomb to disappear –
And cue the video ending with Erik, who knew his father, shoving Cyrus to the ground as an explosion went off. D:
E) A return to the CaFae with JC going “Gotta love the morning rush” and Bob urging them to take their break, especially since she heard from Drek they’d missed breakfast; JC assured her that they’d snagged an extra muffin, then noted how weird it was to have extra food in the CaFae –
Right as Bob’s phone went off with a call from Cyrus. He reported in about how his and Rethu’s date night had gone “a little sideways” (with Bob putting him on speaker so he could bring her and JC up to speed at the same time), explaining about the whole situation Joe and the demon who stole his skin (JC revealing that they knew a guy who’s demon mother had killed and impersonated people – they still didn’t know how many). Bob asked if the situation was contained, and Cyrus assured her and JC that Valefar had been stomped but good by Rethu, Herla, and the Wild Hunt – mostly because, since he’d been on the run from the Abyssal Realm for both tax evasion and owing money to the mob, the authorities had access to his real name, and that was used to pin him down. Once he could actually hear them ordering him around, of course, given he was throwing smoke bombs and setting fires as distractions – that was all under control now too, though. JC started going on about how you never got in a position to owe money to the mob, no matter how desperate you were –
Then stopped because – wait, Valefar? Which prompted Cyrus to launch into part two of the explanation – namely, how’d they had to recruit Erik to ID the demon in the human skin (pointing out when JC was like “seriously?” that not a lot of demons hung out in a country where the most prominent religion, well, demonized them), and how when Erik recognized him, Valefar freaked out and – not knowing about the heavy hitters hiding out nearby – went after Cyrus because he was the one with 300 years of knife fighting experience. And would have gotten him too –
If Erik hadn’t tackled him out of the way and taken the hit himself. Apparently when the ambulance came and took Erik away, the EMTs said it was very lucky his insides hadn’t ended up all over the sidewalk. Bob then confirmed with Cyrus that Erik had basically saved his life and would be dead himself if not for Lindsey’s protection charm – cue Cyrus holding up Erik’s bloodied and broken necklace and going “yes and yes.” JC was very quiet as they processed this, and Cyrus took the opportunity to tell them that, as far as he was concerned, he and Erik were now even. JC was free to stay mad at him, but Cyrus would be visiting him in the hospital. JC was silent for a little while longer, then asked if he’d informed Lindsey and his mom –
And Cyrus was like “YES OF COURSE I TOLD THEM BEFORE I TALKED TO YOU” and noted Rethu was flying them over – and that, given all the taxi work they’d been putting in through this whole thing, they deserved some extra treats! Which – yes, that is EXTREMELY fair.
F) Rabbi Rabbit checking in with Lucy after most of the shit had wrapped up, telling her about how Valefar was being transferred back to the Abyssal Realm, and assuring her when she said she felt like an idiot that she was not an idiot, she was a grieving widow who had been taken advantage of. Lucy asked why Valefar was being sent back to the Abyssal Realm when his crimes were committed in the human one – turns out he’s not an American citizen, and the current administration was only too happy to let him get dragged back to his home realm than try to deal with him. Figures. Lucy then revealed she’d talked to Ghost Hunter John about talking to Joe one last time, but unfortunately he’d already passed on to the other side – Rabbit let her know about how newer ghosts had less power, and how he might not have been able to stay even if he’d wanted to. Lucy said it sounded like him – “Job’s done, so – time to bail.” Rabbit then said that he’d blocked off tomorrow for the funeral, confirming with her that Joe would have wanted a traditional burial (the less fuss, the better), and assured Lucy that they could have a memorial service at a different date when she worried about everyone being able to make it. He told her to focus on taking care of herself and her kids (who, while adults, HAD just lost a parent), and gave her a folder of resources he’d compiled – grief counselors, crime victim advocates, and – just in case – a sexual violence center. Lucy told him to put that one on the bottom of the pile, as she’d had enough crisis this month. :(
And then a cut to JC arriving at the hospital where Erik had been taken, and – after confirming what number room Erik was in – encountering his mother, Hannah. Who was not exactly happy to see JC, demanding to know why they were here – and when JC was just like “...visiting hours?” pointing out that while she was well aware of how Erik had hurt JC, her son had nearly died and thus if JC was there to berate or yell at him, they could go and save it for when his stitches had come out. JC told her that they’d already yelled at him the week he left jail and that, if they still hated him, they wouldn’t be there, adding that she could watch if she wanted, along with Lindsey, who they assumed was there – Hannah confirmed she was and that she’d convinced her to get some sleep. And that JC had better make her not regret going to get some.
G) And finally Erik in the hospital, telling Lindsey that they could sneak out the back door if they were fast, and Lindsey informing him that – given his lungs, liver, and intestines had been BARELY held in place by her magic and Cyrus’s first aid – he was not going anywhere until the hospital released him. Erik protested that everything was back inside NOW, and he had the stitches to prove it, but Lindsey reminded him that he also had massive blood loss and another bag of blood still to go –
And then, mid-groan, Erik spotted JC entering the room. After a moment’s awkward staring (and Lindsey very deliberately closing her book), Erik declared “Thank god, someone here to end my suffering” and told JC to shoot them either in the neck or between the eyes. JC informed him to shut up and shoved a container into his hands before informing him his mother was still terrifying – Erik admitted “I think she levels up every time Valefar and I do something stupid.” JC allowed that sounded right and greeted Lindsey, who responded with “I believe that’s ‘bitch-in-crime’ to you” – JC admitted “fair” and apologized for that. After another awkward pause, JC said that Rethu had told them Valefar was back in the Abyssal Realm, which Erik confirmed (“hopefully to stay there forever”) while checking the treats in the container and finding peanut butter chocolate (brownies, presumably) – Lindsey admitted that was her favorite, to which JC said “I know.” Lindsey decided she was weak and said she forgave JC and was okay with them and Erik being friends again –
Cue JC being like “that’s not happening.” Erik asked what they were even doing here then – JC shrugged and said “Closure?” Elaborating that, while they weren’t going back to what they had before, they also didn’t actively desire Erik to be hit by a truck, so…yeah. “Have a happy existence?” And cue the video ending on Erik – knowing this was probably as much forgiveness as he’d get from JC, and happy to get it – thanking them and throwing it right back at them. :)
Whew! Yeah, uh, LOT of stuff going on in this season, as you can see! Some very long videos and a lot of action! But I’m glad that they were able to expose the demon posing as Joe, and I’m glad that Erik was able to finish his redemption arc by saving Cyrus – WITHOUT dying, as that would have been too sad. And that JC, even if they can’t be friends with Erik again, was at least able to let go of their grudge against them. *nods* About as happy an ending as they could get, honestly. I can live with that. Now we just have to wait and see what nonsense comes the cast’s way next. :p
Aaand I have officially stayed up WAY later than I'd intended, so it's time to go to bed so I don't sleep through Mother's Day. ^^; Don't know what, if anything, Mom will want to do tomorrow, but my own goals include continuing to work on my Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts; watching the Grand Finale of the F:NV YOLO Remastered series from Jon; playing some Portal 2 and putting Wheatley in charge of the facility; and maybe even working some more on "Londerland Bloodlines: Hollywood's Deluded Depths." We'll see. Night all!
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Date: 2026-05-10 06:26 pm (UTC)idk why but I loved Rabbi Rabbit flicking the hat to thank Erik for complimenting the hat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The description/caption for Valefar's appearance was "I think Nic had too much fun editing this one". Nic confirmed it in the comments, and added "There was so much more I had planned but ran out of time". Folks in the comments also thanked CM/Nic for the warning for the ringing sound.
She stated that "Cyrus should DEFINITELY have way more blood on him, since HE gave Erik first aid. Buuuut censorship."
Folks in the comments seem split. Some are okay with the way JC and Erik's relationship turned out, and some want them to be friends again. I think it's more realistic to not be friends but not walking the other way when seeing each other on the street.
no subject
Date: 2026-05-11 03:49 am (UTC)*snork* It did feel appropriate, I have to say. And it IS a very nice hat -- makes him very recognizable as a character.
*giggles* Yeah, he clearly did -- but hey, we want the video editor to have fun! And he did a really good job making Valefar look appropriately menacing as his true appearance came out. And yes, that was very kind of them -- we appreciate it when creators warn for such things!
Oh yeah, definitely -- but I get that she can't get too gory, even if it would be appropriate. Damn censorship...
Yeah, I saw that myself -- I too agree that it's much more realistic for them to settle on "distant but non-hostile acquaintances" over renewing their friendship, but I can understand why people would want them to reconcile properly. As one of them said, though, that's what fanfiction is for. :P