Time To Rip Into Something
May. 20th, 2010 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crossover_chickIt hasn't been the best week overall (though today wasn't too bad, and Kickassia is proving to be fantastic), and I'm in the mood to mock. So -- allow me to present a short, horrible crossover fic from the Corpse Bride/Nightmare Before Christmas section on FF.net.
Victor: So, what is it this time?
Alice: Actually, it appears to be a fanfic.
Victor: What? I thought she had a Doc and Marty to handle those.
I do, but this is a Corpse Bride fic. Well, a Corpse Bride/Nightmare Before Christmas fic. In theory.
Victor: Oh God. . . .
Alice: Er, so why am I here? Shouldn't you have gotten Victoria or Emily?
I think you two make better sporking partners. Don't worry, it's really short. FANFIC SIGN!
The Magic Inside
Sayuri Minami wandered the forest. She had received a note requesting her to go to the forest.
Victor: . . . I don't remember this girl. Is she new to the village?
Alice: Not two sentences in, and already we have to contact the Department of Redundancy Department.
Sayuri was a brave girl, if anyone had messed with her she'd spring right into action. Sayuri was extra careful because she was only 8 years old. She lived in Tokyo and was skilled in martial arts.
Victor+Alice: *stare*
Victor: Why is someone from Japan in -- how does this tie to --
Alice: Don't think about it too hard, Victor, you'll get a nosebleed. I'm doing my best to ignore the "eight year old martial arts master" bit.
She wandered far and far and far
Alice: And then took a left turn at Albuquerque
until she found the oddest thing. 7 trees with holiday symbols on it.
Victor: I've got the oddest image of a giant mutant tree with smaller trees that look like arms and legs.
Behind the trees she saw a shadow moving!
Alice: What evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!
Victor: We really must cut down on the anachronistic jokes.
Sayuri got into her fighting position.
"Who's there!" her voice boomed. "Answer up or you'll be sorry, I'm not joking I know kung-fu so you don't know who you're messing with!"
Victor: *snickers* Oh, she's just precious.
Alice: It's just the giant one-eyed purple people eater coming to devour you, Sayuri.
There was no answer
Victor: Mostly because the figure was trying to figure out how to answer "up."
"Alright, if you wanna be creepy then be creepy!" said Sayuri.
Alice: Thank you for giving us permission!
She did a running leap and let out a "HI-YA!" with a punch and kick in the air. Her fuschia kimono fluttered in the wind.
Victor: Fuschia??
Alice: *now giggling herself* Oh, you're right, she is adorable. Thinking this actually looks or sounds threatening. . . .
She missed
Alice: So much for being skilled with martial arts.
and leapt past a tall person breathing anxiously. He then looked at Sayuri and sighed with relief.
"Its only a little girl," he said to himself. "W-w-what are you doing out here?"
Victor:. . .I have a very bad feeling about that stutter.
"I received this note saying to come here, did you write it?" Sayuri asked.
Alice: I love how she just randomly gets this mysterious note and immediately decides to follow the instructions. For all she knows, it's a serial killer luring her to an unprotected place.
"No," he said. "Where are your parents?"
"Far from here I guess," said Sayuri. "I dunno, and I don't care"
Alice: Lovely child.
Victor: Where is here, anyway? I understand it's in the grove that leads to Halloween Town, but. . . .
"What is your name?" he asked.
"My name is Sayuri Minami," said Sayuri.
Alice: Because it didn't sound ridiculous enough the first time.
"Mine's Victor Van Dort," he replied. "Could you say your name again, I didn't quite get it.
Victor: What -- why am I -- shouldn't I be -- WHERE IS THIS?!
Alice: *puzzles over a map* I didn't think you got that lost in the woods. . . .
"Sayuri Minami," said Sayuri.
Alice: Is there an echo in here?
"You are foreign?" asked Victor.
Victor: . . . Please tell me I've never actually said anything this idiotic.
Alice: *pats his back* There there, it's not really you.
"Yeah," said Sayuri. "I'm Japanese-American, but I live in Japan, you must be from England or something, right?"
Alice: What does she have against using periods in dialogue?
Victor: Yes, I'm from England. Which is halfway around the world from Japan.
Alice: So either she or you got incredibly lost or know how to teleport.
"Yes," he replied.
Flying out of her purse was the note. The door with the pumpkin on it flew open and the note went inside.
Victor: What? What happened? How did the note get out? Why is the pumpkin door opening? What's going on?
Alice: That was edited out for time and content.
"Oh crap!" said Sayuri. "The note!"
"Crap?" asked Victor confused.
Victor: *annoyed* I am aware of what that word means. I may have some trouble s-swearing myself, and it may not be native to my time period, but I'm sure I could puzzle it out fairly quickly!
Sayuri jumped through the door screaming "BANZAI!"
Victor+Alice: *burst out laughing and don't stop for five minutes*
Victor shrugged and followed.
Victor: What -- why? Don't I have dead to be raising?
Alice: Yes, but they're over in England.
Victor: I'm not getting to England any faster by following the crazy Japanese child to Halloween town!
They were lead to a strange place. Dark but colorful.
Alice: Firm yet yielding to the touch.
Victor: You can't make jokes the actual MST3K cast has already made.
The note flew over to the pumpkin patch by a big spiraled hill. The note flew over by the hill.
Alice: Oh, this is truly gripping reading, isn't it, Victor?
Victor: I'm about to faint from all the suspense.
Sayuri chased after it. She grabbed on to it but then it flew again. Sayuri felt like it was taking her somewhere.
Alice: Or you could just not be very good at grabbing a floating piece of paper.
Victor followed her as she ran after the note.
Victor: Instead of doing the logical thing and going back home the first chance I got.
The note stopped in front of this large tower of a house. Sayuri grabbed it but it flew out of her hand and went all the way up to the roof and stayed there not even wriggling a bit.
Victor: This is an oddly sentient piece of paper.
Alice: It just doesn't like being near the Mary-Suelet.
"How are we supposed to go all the way up there?" asked Victor.
Alice: You're the one who can apparently stick to walls.
Victor: It's just a talent I have! There's nothing special about it!
Alice: I've seen the movie, Victor. You're part spider or something.
"I have no idea," said Sayuri. "Forget the note, now what are we going to do?"
Victor: After all this time chasing it, you're just going to give up? And what is this we business? Why am I even here?!
Alice: Calm down, it's almost over.
"We could ask for help, maybe," said Victor.
"This place looks deserted!" said Sayuri. "There is no way we will find someone to help us.
Alice: I suspect these words are meant to be ironic, and Jack Skellington will appear shortly.
I'm sure they are -- but they're also the last words in the fic.
Victor: Really? So -- that entire exercise was --
Completely pointless? Yes.
Alice: At least it wasn't too bad.
Victor: I'm still trying to figure out why I was there in the first place. Or why she was there. Or why anyone was there.
Alice: Look at it this way -- at least no one was talking about the "scent of the gods."
Victor+Alice: *shared giggle*
Yeeks, that took longer than I wanted. I gotta hit the sack! Night!
Victor: So, what is it this time?
Alice: Actually, it appears to be a fanfic.
Victor: What? I thought she had a Doc and Marty to handle those.
I do, but this is a Corpse Bride fic. Well, a Corpse Bride/Nightmare Before Christmas fic. In theory.
Victor: Oh God. . . .
Alice: Er, so why am I here? Shouldn't you have gotten Victoria or Emily?
I think you two make better sporking partners. Don't worry, it's really short. FANFIC SIGN!
The Magic Inside
Sayuri Minami wandered the forest. She had received a note requesting her to go to the forest.
Victor: . . . I don't remember this girl. Is she new to the village?
Alice: Not two sentences in, and already we have to contact the Department of Redundancy Department.
Sayuri was a brave girl, if anyone had messed with her she'd spring right into action. Sayuri was extra careful because she was only 8 years old. She lived in Tokyo and was skilled in martial arts.
Victor+Alice: *stare*
Victor: Why is someone from Japan in -- how does this tie to --
Alice: Don't think about it too hard, Victor, you'll get a nosebleed. I'm doing my best to ignore the "eight year old martial arts master" bit.
She wandered far and far and far
Alice: And then took a left turn at Albuquerque
until she found the oddest thing. 7 trees with holiday symbols on it.
Victor: I've got the oddest image of a giant mutant tree with smaller trees that look like arms and legs.
Behind the trees she saw a shadow moving!
Alice: What evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!
Victor: We really must cut down on the anachronistic jokes.
Sayuri got into her fighting position.
"Who's there!" her voice boomed. "Answer up or you'll be sorry, I'm not joking I know kung-fu so you don't know who you're messing with!"
Victor: *snickers* Oh, she's just precious.
Alice: It's just the giant one-eyed purple people eater coming to devour you, Sayuri.
There was no answer
Victor: Mostly because the figure was trying to figure out how to answer "up."
"Alright, if you wanna be creepy then be creepy!" said Sayuri.
Alice: Thank you for giving us permission!
She did a running leap and let out a "HI-YA!" with a punch and kick in the air. Her fuschia kimono fluttered in the wind.
Victor: Fuschia??
Alice: *now giggling herself* Oh, you're right, she is adorable. Thinking this actually looks or sounds threatening. . . .
She missed
Alice: So much for being skilled with martial arts.
and leapt past a tall person breathing anxiously. He then looked at Sayuri and sighed with relief.
"Its only a little girl," he said to himself. "W-w-what are you doing out here?"
Victor:. . .I have a very bad feeling about that stutter.
"I received this note saying to come here, did you write it?" Sayuri asked.
Alice: I love how she just randomly gets this mysterious note and immediately decides to follow the instructions. For all she knows, it's a serial killer luring her to an unprotected place.
"No," he said. "Where are your parents?"
"Far from here I guess," said Sayuri. "I dunno, and I don't care"
Alice: Lovely child.
Victor: Where is here, anyway? I understand it's in the grove that leads to Halloween Town, but. . . .
"What is your name?" he asked.
"My name is Sayuri Minami," said Sayuri.
Alice: Because it didn't sound ridiculous enough the first time.
"Mine's Victor Van Dort," he replied. "Could you say your name again, I didn't quite get it.
Victor: What -- why am I -- shouldn't I be -- WHERE IS THIS?!
Alice: *puzzles over a map* I didn't think you got that lost in the woods. . . .
"Sayuri Minami," said Sayuri.
Alice: Is there an echo in here?
"You are foreign?" asked Victor.
Victor: . . . Please tell me I've never actually said anything this idiotic.
Alice: *pats his back* There there, it's not really you.
"Yeah," said Sayuri. "I'm Japanese-American, but I live in Japan, you must be from England or something, right?"
Alice: What does she have against using periods in dialogue?
Victor: Yes, I'm from England. Which is halfway around the world from Japan.
Alice: So either she or you got incredibly lost or know how to teleport.
"Yes," he replied.
Flying out of her purse was the note. The door with the pumpkin on it flew open and the note went inside.
Victor: What? What happened? How did the note get out? Why is the pumpkin door opening? What's going on?
Alice: That was edited out for time and content.
"Oh crap!" said Sayuri. "The note!"
"Crap?" asked Victor confused.
Victor: *annoyed* I am aware of what that word means. I may have some trouble s-swearing myself, and it may not be native to my time period, but I'm sure I could puzzle it out fairly quickly!
Sayuri jumped through the door screaming "BANZAI!"
Victor+Alice: *burst out laughing and don't stop for five minutes*
Victor shrugged and followed.
Victor: What -- why? Don't I have dead to be raising?
Alice: Yes, but they're over in England.
Victor: I'm not getting to England any faster by following the crazy Japanese child to Halloween town!
They were lead to a strange place. Dark but colorful.
Alice: Firm yet yielding to the touch.
Victor: You can't make jokes the actual MST3K cast has already made.
The note flew over to the pumpkin patch by a big spiraled hill. The note flew over by the hill.
Alice: Oh, this is truly gripping reading, isn't it, Victor?
Victor: I'm about to faint from all the suspense.
Sayuri chased after it. She grabbed on to it but then it flew again. Sayuri felt like it was taking her somewhere.
Alice: Or you could just not be very good at grabbing a floating piece of paper.
Victor followed her as she ran after the note.
Victor: Instead of doing the logical thing and going back home the first chance I got.
The note stopped in front of this large tower of a house. Sayuri grabbed it but it flew out of her hand and went all the way up to the roof and stayed there not even wriggling a bit.
Victor: This is an oddly sentient piece of paper.
Alice: It just doesn't like being near the Mary-Suelet.
"How are we supposed to go all the way up there?" asked Victor.
Alice: You're the one who can apparently stick to walls.
Victor: It's just a talent I have! There's nothing special about it!
Alice: I've seen the movie, Victor. You're part spider or something.
"I have no idea," said Sayuri. "Forget the note, now what are we going to do?"
Victor: After all this time chasing it, you're just going to give up? And what is this we business? Why am I even here?!
Alice: Calm down, it's almost over.
"We could ask for help, maybe," said Victor.
"This place looks deserted!" said Sayuri. "There is no way we will find someone to help us.
Alice: I suspect these words are meant to be ironic, and Jack Skellington will appear shortly.
I'm sure they are -- but they're also the last words in the fic.
Victor: Really? So -- that entire exercise was --
Completely pointless? Yes.
Alice: At least it wasn't too bad.
Victor: I'm still trying to figure out why I was there in the first place. Or why she was there. Or why anyone was there.
Alice: Look at it this way -- at least no one was talking about the "scent of the gods."
Victor+Alice: *shared giggle*
Yeeks, that took longer than I wanted. I gotta hit the sack! Night!
