Hooray, Concentration Returned
Nov. 29th, 2025 11:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crossover_chickYeah, today was a LOT better for that overall than yesterday, that's for sure -- I mean, I still suspect I'm going to stay up later than I intended, but at least it won't be because my brain didn't feel like working earlier. So yeah, here's the write-up for today's activities:
Baldur’s Gate III: Yes, I actually played again today despite having to take a few hours earlier to finish up yesterday’s write-up this afternoon – what can I say, I do enjoy the game! And I do enjoy telling you all everything I do in the game! My grumpiness yesterday was a direct result of me being unable to focus for more than three seconds, and that is largely unrelated to me playing BG3 – it’s just my write-ups for BG3 always take a while, so if I don’t have any focus...yeah. You see where the problems come in! (And why doing the Fallout 4 write-ups can be especially irritating in that regard, as I essentially have to do it TWICE thanks to needing to update my FO4 Playthrough Progression doc as well…)
ANYWAY – my plan today was to try and find Dammon and gift him a bunch of weapons to make him Smiler’s friend for future trading purposes, but I never actually got around to that – mostly because I ended up not straying very far from the entrance to the Hollow and the refugee camp. Let me explain what happened:
A) I picked up right where I left off yesterday – with everyone in the Wilderness camp, having just raided the camp chest for a bunch of stuff to sell off. Not wanting to leave anything potentially-valuable behind, though, I had Smiler pop open the chest once more to get the last few bits and bobs out of it – well, after getting this shot of them watching Lae’zel sparring with her mind flayer training dummy:
Wish I’d gotten a shot of her actually attacking it, but this will do for now! I do like her idle animations – she has some of the more interesting ones in the camp. :)
Anyway – yes, once Smiler was done watching Lae’zel practice her sweet moves, they opened up the camp chest and grabbed the last few bits of vendor trash lurking in there so they could dump it on a trader – including a bunch of quills, an inkpot, a few mysterious bottles (which I combined with the one they were carrying to save grid space), a fancy pewter cup, a simple bowl, a spare quarterstaff (still tempted to have them keep that as an alternate weapon), some milk cans, and a bunch of candles. I also went into their personal Bewildering Adventurer’s Pack and split off one of the two bottles of water they were carrying to put in their “main” inventory to sell (decided it didn’t really make sense for them to be lugging around two), replaced the glass chalice they were carrying around with the simpler tin cup from the chest (the chalice was worth more), and threw the little two-tined fork they picked up on their travels into the pack to go with their plate and cup (since it was worth so little and weighed so little). And then organized their inventory so everything was lined up nice and neat. :p I do still enjoy them having a backpack that’s just full of “personal items” you’d expect an adventurer (or a traveling alchemist) to have – it just adds a little extra touch to the roleplaying, for me. Here, look at what they’ve got currently:
You agree that’s all the essentials, right? Especially the teddy bear? XD Hey, I have loads of plushies – I think it’s fine for Smiler to have one!
B) With that all sorted, I sent everyone back out into the world to continue their adventures! They popped back into existence still in the middle of the little training ground near Arron’s shop, with Asharak still instructing the little tiefling kids on how best to defend themselves while the adult Guex tried and failed to pull off a good parry against a training dummy. Having learned that you can have a proper conversation with Asharak once you’ve recruited Wyll from my wiki-walking the other day, I thus had Smiler say hello to him –
And this time, he was genuinely happy to see them, stating that he saw them at the gates and they fought well. He then asked if they had any words for his little charges – the three kids looked eagerly Smiler’s way, and they told them, “Be strong and watch over your kin. In trust there is victory!” This was meant with general excitement from the kiddos, and Asharak thanked them for their kindness, saying, “I prefer it when they smile.” :) Trust me, Asharak, Smiler does too.
With the kids properly inspired, Smiler left them to their training (which included a bit of squabbling when one kid decided to name their sword “Goblinbane,” only for one of the others to protest that that was their sword’s name) and decided to see what was going on with Guex – if only because his constant attacks on the dummy were cluttering up their combat log (seriously, game, do we HAVE to know about every time he tries to hit that damn thing with a main hand attack?). Guex attempted another attack, narrating, “Step, parry, strike” as he did, then complained that it just wasn’t hitting. Smiler noted that he had an “interesting technique” and asked if he was having trouble – Guex retorted that he had “nothing but,” between the goblins seeking their blood out in the wilderness and the druids looking to evict them – or worse – in the grove. He knew they needed to be ready for a fight, but he was useless with a sword. The text box then provided Smiler with a few options to try and help him – including an Athletics check to demonstrate how to swing, an Insight check to realize he was standing with his feet too close together, and – thanks to the Potion of Mind Reading they imbibed earlier – the opportunity to read his mind and see what was going on upstairs. I was tempted by the Detect Thoughts option, not gonna lie, but the possibility of it not going well and Guex going hostile (as people, understandably, don’t like you prying into their heads without permission), plus the Insight check having more bonuses thanks to Smiler having proficiency in Insight, made me go with “No wonder you’re struggling – you’ve no balance. Space your feet farther apart.” I then had Shadowheart give Smiler a bit of Guidance and rolled the big old die against a DC of 10 –
Aaaand got a crit 1. *facepalm* Fortunately, I still had some inspiration points, so I was easily able to reroll, and fortunately, with bonuses, Smiler ended up with a 12 as their final result on the second try. Guex thus agreed to try and brace them better, spread his feet, tried another attack – “Step-brace, parry, swing” –
And landed it! Delighted, he told Smiler they really knew what they were doing (which I find amusing, because in my mind, they kinda don’t XD) and gave them a present! Something he found by the road, apparently, that he was sure they could put to good use. The game didn’t tell me what it was right away, though, so I just had Smiler encourage him to keep training so he could make short work of the goblins – Guex disdainfully said that he hoped it was just the goblins they had to worry about, noting the druids were apparently treating them like vermin, then promised to keep at it, thanking Smiler again –
And then Smiler said, “One last thing – don’t shout out your moves like that. Spoils the surprise for your foe.” XD An embarrassed Guex promised to bite his tongue during any real fights, and Smiler left them to it, having earned a bit of approval from all their companions except Astarion (in fact, they earned double approval from Lae’zel and Wyll for telling Guex not to shout out his moves), another inspiration point for Lae’zel (which replaced the one Smiler spent to reroll that crit fail, nice), and the gift of a free battleaxe! Not that they could use it, but hey – another weapon to sell to Dammon, eventually! XD
C) With everyone in the little training area now in excellent spirits, I had Smiler check out a book laying nearby (“A Is for Azuth, And Other Gods I,” which had fun rhymes about some of the gods of the Forgotten Realms – including Amaunator, the god whose dye I’m using to make sure Smiler has their preferred black/white/yellow color scheme! His specific rhyme was “Amaunator, sun’s bright light/Shines the truth into man’s laws./Speak His name to stop a fight;/then invoke a legal clause.” XD I like it!), then head back to Arron because, while I wanted to give the majority of what the group was carrying to Dammon, Arron something I wanted – that “improved” Amulet Of Lost Voices that grants both Speak With Dead AND Speak With Animals (as opposed to THE Amulet Of Lost Voices from Withers’s tomb, which only grants the former). I thus had Smiler chat with him to reopen the trading menu (with him going “Of course. But please remember: you’re not the only one in need” – oh fuck you) –
And then went “!!!” as I saw that, while the gang had been away, his stock has been refreshed and he had even MORE alchemy ingredients! (I think this was triggered by Wyll’s level-ups, if I understand the wiki right). Specifically, he had a bunch of acorn truffles, more balsam, a bullywug trumpet mushroom, some rogue’s morsel mushrooms, and more weavemoss. :D I promptly swapped over to the barter screen and grabbed everything I wanted to note the total value 268 gold – then started adding stuff to Smiler’s side to start balancing the scales –
Only to find, to my astonishment, that anything I added to the barter screen ended up suddenly devalued! Like, stuff that should have been worth 30 gold was suddenly only worth 15 the minute I tried to offer it up as a barter! I don’t know if this is because I took the stuff I wanted out of Arron’s inventory first and then started trying to balance the scales out on Smiler’s side, or because Arron was neutrally inclined toward Smiler and thus not willing to pay proper market value while bartering, but it was VERY annoying! >( Frustrated, I swapped back over to straight trading and – after making sure a shortsword and a scimitar sold for what they said they were worth – ended up selling him a few of the necklaces Astarion was carrying and a few weapons, and straight-up buying the Amulet and the alchemy stuff. In the end, Smiler ended up with an even 400 gold left in their pockets, and I ended up fairly disgusted with Arron and his store. I am DEFINITELY dumping all the rest of this stuff on Dammon, that’s for sure!
D) Anyway – with that portion of the shopping trip over and done with, I had Smiler swap out The Amulet Of Lost Voices for the “improved” Amulet Of Lost Voices, then go through their alchemy ingredients and turn the acorn truffles into an Essence Of Acorn Truffles (unlocking, ironically, the ability to make a Potion Of Animal Speaking) and the weavemoss into a Vitriol Of Weavemoss (unlocking the Elixir of Arcane Cultivation, which gives you a free spell slot! Well, until you drink another elixir). Alchemy supplies thus prepared (I gotta have them actually make some stuff next time I play), I had them cast Speak With Animals on themselves (using their lute, as apparently the game wanted them to be bardic about it), then started off down the path winding downward to try and find Dammon –
Then stopped, reconsidered, and went “You know what, no – there’s some oxen right by Arron’s shop, let’s instead test this new spell Smiler just cast and go say hi to them.” So the group turned around and instead visited the nearby makeshift oxen pen to see if any of them had anything interesting to say. The Hungry Ox didn’t give Smiler the time of day, simply stating, “Begone. I am hungry,” before going back to her food, but the Bored Ox next to her was more chatty, commenting that Smiler was “another one” before asking “What are you under there, then? Ant? Aurochs?” A puzzled Smiler was like “what are you talking about?” and the Bored Ox explained that the “keepers of this place” – i.e., the druids – changed forms depending on their need – aka, used Wildshape. Apparently he’d seen them become birds to hunt from the sky, and bears to rend flesh (whose he didn’t specify). The ox then complained that “for me – only oxen. Only same old hay. And I cannot even eat it, because the horned ones hide their shiny bits inside.” Surprised, Smiler said “the tieflings put something in your hay?” and the Bored Ox confirmed they hid things in there, thinking themselves clever, though he disagreed. And then said that sometimes he ate the shiny bits, forcing the tieflings to retrieve them from the other end. XD This ended the conversation –
And also revealed that the haystack next to them, tended by their anxious tiefling tender Toron, was in fact a container! Smiler took a look inside, and found two pouches within – however, they left them alone, as they’re not an asshole. Rule number one of this run is not to take anything from the tieflings – they’re suffering enough! Instead, Smiler went back to chat with the final ox of the trio –
Or, rather, something that looked like an ox, as per the passive Insight check the entire party passed upon approaching it (Lae’zel finally burning the Bardic Inspiration she got from Smiler back during the fight at the gate), and the Arcana check Smiler got when first speaking to it. It tried to pass itself off as a “humble ox,” but Smiler easily passed the DC 10 Arcana check with a 23, and told it, “There’s more to you than meets the eye. Care to explain?” The Strange Ox refused, calling Smiler “incapable,” but Smiler turned on the charm, going, “Come on, old chap. I’m a devil for gossip” and getting a nat 20 on the resulting Persuasion check (saving me from having to worry if I should have used the “Friends” cantrip or not). The Strange Ox still refused to say what it truly was, but did share that it intended to get to Baldur’s Gate, “with or without the rest of these poor sods,” then ended the conversation with “Now – that’s all I have to say besides – and I really mean this – moo.” XD I like you, Strange Ox.
And so today’s playsession ended with the group standing just outside the oxen pen, wondering just what the hell was going on with that “ox.” Next time I play, we’ll see about finally finding Dammon and offloading all these weapons, and maybe talking to some of the other residents of the refugee camp! Never know who might have a few points of XP or a quest to give the gang...
Writing: I did actually have some time to get some writing done today, hooray – and given that WeirdKev dumped a ton of notes on me about what he wanted out of his Christmas gift fic yesterday, I decided to rewrite that today and get it over with. As a reminder, it’s a sequel to his birthday fic, which was “LaCroix teaming up with a human vampire version of Glomgold from Ducktales to stop their mutual enemy Owlson from unionizing Camarilla ghouls, only to learn the hard way Glomgold is an idiot with a penchant for overly-complicated plans,” and it was supposed to be about Glomgold constantly popping up after LaCroix threw him out of his office in the original fic to interrupt him giving tasks to Alice. I thus wrote a dialogue-only fic (to match the original) of Glomgold doing just that on various nights, trying to sell LaCroix on variations of his plan to take out Owlson (generally involving sharks, and throwing in bees near the end for a little variety) while LaCroix was trying to give Alice briefings on hislatest attempt to get her killed latest mission for her, until LaCroix finally snapped and told Alice that if she killed Glomgold, he’d release her from all her obligations and let her leave free and clear. Which was an offer that Alice was very interested in. XD The new version is still dialogue-only – I didn’t want to give that up – but now features:
A) Glomgold posing as a pizza delivery boy to try and get to LaCroix’s office – unfortunately for him, Chunk calls LaCroix first to confirm, and LaCroix figures out it’s him and orders Chunk to throw him out (and not to eat any of the “Bloody Mary” pizza, which is covered in actual blood)
B) Glomgold sneaking into LaCroix’s office and trying to seduce him dressed up as a hockey player (specifically a Mighty Duck, because why not) because a Malkavian (specifically Jeannette Voerman) told him LaCroix had a thing for them – LaCroix was just nonplussed and threw him out
C) Glomgold marching into LaCroix’s office dressed as the ghost of Napoleon to demand he hand over the sarcophagus – only to fail when LaCroix cracked up at his ridiculous get-up (Napoleon costume, bedsheet, and a fake sword in the gut, all covered in flour – oh, and the already-short Glomgold was walking on his knees, making himself ridiculously tiny. LaCroix informed him that the real Napoleon was five-foot-six, which surprised the hell out of him)
D) And Alice coming into LaCroix’s office to turn in a mission...only to find Glomgold already there in disguise. Glomgold promptly accused her of being an impostor, and LaCroix, already frazzled from all the previous attempts, demanded that she get out of not only his office, but his city. Alice was like “sure, goodbye,” which finally clued LaCroix into the fact that maybe she wasn’t the impostor –
A fact that he should have realized sooner, as immediately after he clocked that Glomgold’s disguise was of the DISNEY Alice – you know, the blond one? He tried to get Alice to come back by saying if she helped him kill Glomgold, he’d pay for her move, but Alice was like “too much chance you’ll screw me over, so nope” and got out of there, leaving the pair to tussle over the sarcophagus.
*shrug* A very silly fic, as you can tell! Though the whole “interrupting LaCroix giving Alice missions” part kind of got left in the dust...eh, I don’t think it’ll be missed. Again, I wish he’d told me exactly what he wanted sooner, before I wrote the original draft, but – well, that’s life. Let’s just hope he’s satisfied with this!
Tumblr: Okay, so – I spent a good chunk of the day today finishing up yesterday’s daily write-up, meaning I didn’t have the time to work on anything in my Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts. And then I spent most of the night watching something on FreeTube and trying to summarize it for you all (see below), so I never got to the stuff in my Valice Multiverse inbox. Basically, this day was almost entirely a wash when it came to tumblr. ^^; But I did accomplish one thing, and that was reblogging my old Song Saturday featuring Britney Spears’s song “3” in honor of the recently-completed Valicer+ Polyship Week 2025 on VLA(NS). Better than nothing!
FreeTube/Invidious: Actually felt like I had enough time to watch one of Proxy Gate Tactician’s ridiculous challenge videos tonight, so I headed over to his channel to indulge in one I’ve been wanting to watch for a while now – “Can You Beat Baldur's Gate 3 Using Things No One Uses?” Yes, Proxy was determined to see if he could beat the game using some of the least used spells and weapons, inventing (or, in one case, borrowing) all sorts of weird techniques to try and make them viable. Thus, he created the Derp Urge, and sent him out with his friends to try and conquer the game with the stupidest stuff imaginable! Did he do it?
Yes – but not without a lot of pain, heartache, and glitches along the way. As you might expect, given this was a video all about trying out all of the most bullshit weirdness Proxy could think of to do in the game. XD Unfortunately, trying to sum up the whole video is going to take WAAAY too long (I gave it a go, but there was a LOOOT of information and bullshit weirdness compressed into 24 minutes!), so let me see if I can sum up the best moments super-quickly –
A) Derp and friends using Wild Magic Surges to enchant the wooden practice swords the tiefling children use to practice their fighting to do an extra 1D4 Force Damage and score an automatic critical attack on their next hit, then using them to one-shot all the skeletons protecting Withers’s tomb (Proxy would have been happier about this, but getting that particular Wild Magic effect took 56 minutes, so…)
B) Derp and fiends discovering that the Pocket Sand ability that Swashbuckler Rogues get at Level 4 is OP, at least against small groups of Act 1 enemies, because it blinds your foes (giving them Disadvantage on rolls), is a Dirty Trick (which gives your character Advantage on rolls), and causes a small amount of bludgeoning damage, all for the cost of a bonus action! Derp and the party managed to take out BOTH the Owlbear Mother and her mate AND a trio of Ogres using it!
C) Derp and friends taking care of most of the regular goblins in the goblin camp by setting up Derp’s Meat Grinder – a combination of Spike Growth (set up by Shadowheart), a Cloud of Daggers primed to last twenty turns instead of ten (set up by a Sorcerer Wyll usnig his metamagic), and Derp sending them back to camp before using the Minor Illusion abilities granted to them as a Shadow Sorcerer to lure the goblins into the spiky cloud of murder and death. Merilwen and Corazon would be proud!
D) Derp and friends killing Ketheric Thorm and the Avatar of Myrkul via the power of cats standing atop box towers and knocking things off (random items for Ketheric, holy water specifically for Myrkul) – this was the most fiddly way to murder an enemy EVER as per Proxy, and he did NOT recommend it
E) Derp and friends getting telekinesis gloves off a githyanki in the ambush near the end of Act 2, then putting them to good use in the fight in the Astral Prism by summoning an Earth Elemental, having it drink an elixir to make it huge, then using Telekinesis to hoist it up to high surfaces before yanking it back down again to slam into the ground and inflict loads of AOE damage on enemies (this was a technique Proxy found via one Remus 71, so thank you Remus)
F) Derp and friends essentially turning Gortash into their own personal OP summon by kidnapping him from his own coronation to an isolated area; polymorphing him into a sheep; having Gale use Dominate Beast on him (a mostly-useless spell as there are not a lot of beasts in the game); heading back to camp; having Derp temporarily remove Gale from the party before the domination wore off; then having Derp welcome Gale back into the party once the domination DID wear off, resulting in human Gortash following Gale around being badass. They were even able to get his netherstone off him via some VERY quick clicking in his inventory screen!
G) Derp and friends taking out Orin via grabbing a corpse from Cazador’s place that has a constant nasty necrotic aura that damages you and taking it to the Temple of Bhaal, then using the Arcane Gate spell to rapidly move the corpse into and out of proximity to Orin, setting up an infinite damage loop that didn’t even require them to use their actions or movements to kill her. Proxy was very proud of it and called it the Proxy Gate Tactic. XD
H) Derp and friends showing off how the Dark Displacement Gloves (sold by Popper at the Circus Of Last Days), which allow you to swap places with enemies when you hit them with a thrown weapon, also let you swap places with objects (allowing you to do things like open locked doors by swapping places with them, removing them entirely from their house) – and, very notably, THE FUCKING ENDBOSS. Yes, you can indeed swap places with the Will Of The Netherbrain by hitting it with a thrown weapon while wearing these things, and it will end up killing itself by removing the platforms it’s resting on while trying to kill you. XD Granted, defeating the Netherbrain this way completely screws up the ending cutscenes and teleports you straight to the epilogue party, but that still counts as beating the game!
WHEW! Yeah, you, uh, you see why I was struggling with this. Trust me, that is only the SMALLEST FRACTION of the bullshit that Proxy showed off during this video! I would highly recommend watching his stuff for yourself – he talks really fast, but he’s also really funny, and he shows off a lot of interesting and ridiculous ways to play this game.
...okay, I have DEFINITELY stayed up too late, but at least this particular write-up is DONE. *shakehead* Off to bed with me -- tomorrow, the plan is to get those Valice Multiverse asks answered and work on some Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts; play Portal and find more radios on the way to kill GLaDOS; work some more on gift fic stuff; get in a workout; and watch Jon's latest F:NV YOLO Remastered video. Which will hopefully be less work to summarize than Proxy's video was. Fingers crossed -- night all!
Baldur’s Gate III: Yes, I actually played again today despite having to take a few hours earlier to finish up yesterday’s write-up this afternoon – what can I say, I do enjoy the game! And I do enjoy telling you all everything I do in the game! My grumpiness yesterday was a direct result of me being unable to focus for more than three seconds, and that is largely unrelated to me playing BG3 – it’s just my write-ups for BG3 always take a while, so if I don’t have any focus...yeah. You see where the problems come in! (And why doing the Fallout 4 write-ups can be especially irritating in that regard, as I essentially have to do it TWICE thanks to needing to update my FO4 Playthrough Progression doc as well…)
ANYWAY – my plan today was to try and find Dammon and gift him a bunch of weapons to make him Smiler’s friend for future trading purposes, but I never actually got around to that – mostly because I ended up not straying very far from the entrance to the Hollow and the refugee camp. Let me explain what happened:
A) I picked up right where I left off yesterday – with everyone in the Wilderness camp, having just raided the camp chest for a bunch of stuff to sell off. Not wanting to leave anything potentially-valuable behind, though, I had Smiler pop open the chest once more to get the last few bits and bobs out of it – well, after getting this shot of them watching Lae’zel sparring with her mind flayer training dummy:
Wish I’d gotten a shot of her actually attacking it, but this will do for now! I do like her idle animations – she has some of the more interesting ones in the camp. :)
Anyway – yes, once Smiler was done watching Lae’zel practice her sweet moves, they opened up the camp chest and grabbed the last few bits of vendor trash lurking in there so they could dump it on a trader – including a bunch of quills, an inkpot, a few mysterious bottles (which I combined with the one they were carrying to save grid space), a fancy pewter cup, a simple bowl, a spare quarterstaff (still tempted to have them keep that as an alternate weapon), some milk cans, and a bunch of candles. I also went into their personal Bewildering Adventurer’s Pack and split off one of the two bottles of water they were carrying to put in their “main” inventory to sell (decided it didn’t really make sense for them to be lugging around two), replaced the glass chalice they were carrying around with the simpler tin cup from the chest (the chalice was worth more), and threw the little two-tined fork they picked up on their travels into the pack to go with their plate and cup (since it was worth so little and weighed so little). And then organized their inventory so everything was lined up nice and neat. :p I do still enjoy them having a backpack that’s just full of “personal items” you’d expect an adventurer (or a traveling alchemist) to have – it just adds a little extra touch to the roleplaying, for me. Here, look at what they’ve got currently:
You agree that’s all the essentials, right? Especially the teddy bear? XD Hey, I have loads of plushies – I think it’s fine for Smiler to have one!
B) With that all sorted, I sent everyone back out into the world to continue their adventures! They popped back into existence still in the middle of the little training ground near Arron’s shop, with Asharak still instructing the little tiefling kids on how best to defend themselves while the adult Guex tried and failed to pull off a good parry against a training dummy. Having learned that you can have a proper conversation with Asharak once you’ve recruited Wyll from my wiki-walking the other day, I thus had Smiler say hello to him –
And this time, he was genuinely happy to see them, stating that he saw them at the gates and they fought well. He then asked if they had any words for his little charges – the three kids looked eagerly Smiler’s way, and they told them, “Be strong and watch over your kin. In trust there is victory!” This was meant with general excitement from the kiddos, and Asharak thanked them for their kindness, saying, “I prefer it when they smile.” :) Trust me, Asharak, Smiler does too.
With the kids properly inspired, Smiler left them to their training (which included a bit of squabbling when one kid decided to name their sword “Goblinbane,” only for one of the others to protest that that was their sword’s name) and decided to see what was going on with Guex – if only because his constant attacks on the dummy were cluttering up their combat log (seriously, game, do we HAVE to know about every time he tries to hit that damn thing with a main hand attack?). Guex attempted another attack, narrating, “Step, parry, strike” as he did, then complained that it just wasn’t hitting. Smiler noted that he had an “interesting technique” and asked if he was having trouble – Guex retorted that he had “nothing but,” between the goblins seeking their blood out in the wilderness and the druids looking to evict them – or worse – in the grove. He knew they needed to be ready for a fight, but he was useless with a sword. The text box then provided Smiler with a few options to try and help him – including an Athletics check to demonstrate how to swing, an Insight check to realize he was standing with his feet too close together, and – thanks to the Potion of Mind Reading they imbibed earlier – the opportunity to read his mind and see what was going on upstairs. I was tempted by the Detect Thoughts option, not gonna lie, but the possibility of it not going well and Guex going hostile (as people, understandably, don’t like you prying into their heads without permission), plus the Insight check having more bonuses thanks to Smiler having proficiency in Insight, made me go with “No wonder you’re struggling – you’ve no balance. Space your feet farther apart.” I then had Shadowheart give Smiler a bit of Guidance and rolled the big old die against a DC of 10 –
Aaaand got a crit 1. *facepalm* Fortunately, I still had some inspiration points, so I was easily able to reroll, and fortunately, with bonuses, Smiler ended up with a 12 as their final result on the second try. Guex thus agreed to try and brace them better, spread his feet, tried another attack – “Step-brace, parry, swing” –
And landed it! Delighted, he told Smiler they really knew what they were doing (which I find amusing, because in my mind, they kinda don’t XD) and gave them a present! Something he found by the road, apparently, that he was sure they could put to good use. The game didn’t tell me what it was right away, though, so I just had Smiler encourage him to keep training so he could make short work of the goblins – Guex disdainfully said that he hoped it was just the goblins they had to worry about, noting the druids were apparently treating them like vermin, then promised to keep at it, thanking Smiler again –
And then Smiler said, “One last thing – don’t shout out your moves like that. Spoils the surprise for your foe.” XD An embarrassed Guex promised to bite his tongue during any real fights, and Smiler left them to it, having earned a bit of approval from all their companions except Astarion (in fact, they earned double approval from Lae’zel and Wyll for telling Guex not to shout out his moves), another inspiration point for Lae’zel (which replaced the one Smiler spent to reroll that crit fail, nice), and the gift of a free battleaxe! Not that they could use it, but hey – another weapon to sell to Dammon, eventually! XD
C) With everyone in the little training area now in excellent spirits, I had Smiler check out a book laying nearby (“A Is for Azuth, And Other Gods I,” which had fun rhymes about some of the gods of the Forgotten Realms – including Amaunator, the god whose dye I’m using to make sure Smiler has their preferred black/white/yellow color scheme! His specific rhyme was “Amaunator, sun’s bright light/Shines the truth into man’s laws./Speak His name to stop a fight;/then invoke a legal clause.” XD I like it!), then head back to Arron because, while I wanted to give the majority of what the group was carrying to Dammon, Arron something I wanted – that “improved” Amulet Of Lost Voices that grants both Speak With Dead AND Speak With Animals (as opposed to THE Amulet Of Lost Voices from Withers’s tomb, which only grants the former). I thus had Smiler chat with him to reopen the trading menu (with him going “Of course. But please remember: you’re not the only one in need” – oh fuck you) –
And then went “!!!” as I saw that, while the gang had been away, his stock has been refreshed and he had even MORE alchemy ingredients! (I think this was triggered by Wyll’s level-ups, if I understand the wiki right). Specifically, he had a bunch of acorn truffles, more balsam, a bullywug trumpet mushroom, some rogue’s morsel mushrooms, and more weavemoss. :D I promptly swapped over to the barter screen and grabbed everything I wanted to note the total value 268 gold – then started adding stuff to Smiler’s side to start balancing the scales –
Only to find, to my astonishment, that anything I added to the barter screen ended up suddenly devalued! Like, stuff that should have been worth 30 gold was suddenly only worth 15 the minute I tried to offer it up as a barter! I don’t know if this is because I took the stuff I wanted out of Arron’s inventory first and then started trying to balance the scales out on Smiler’s side, or because Arron was neutrally inclined toward Smiler and thus not willing to pay proper market value while bartering, but it was VERY annoying! >( Frustrated, I swapped back over to straight trading and – after making sure a shortsword and a scimitar sold for what they said they were worth – ended up selling him a few of the necklaces Astarion was carrying and a few weapons, and straight-up buying the Amulet and the alchemy stuff. In the end, Smiler ended up with an even 400 gold left in their pockets, and I ended up fairly disgusted with Arron and his store. I am DEFINITELY dumping all the rest of this stuff on Dammon, that’s for sure!
D) Anyway – with that portion of the shopping trip over and done with, I had Smiler swap out The Amulet Of Lost Voices for the “improved” Amulet Of Lost Voices, then go through their alchemy ingredients and turn the acorn truffles into an Essence Of Acorn Truffles (unlocking, ironically, the ability to make a Potion Of Animal Speaking) and the weavemoss into a Vitriol Of Weavemoss (unlocking the Elixir of Arcane Cultivation, which gives you a free spell slot! Well, until you drink another elixir). Alchemy supplies thus prepared (I gotta have them actually make some stuff next time I play), I had them cast Speak With Animals on themselves (using their lute, as apparently the game wanted them to be bardic about it), then started off down the path winding downward to try and find Dammon –
Then stopped, reconsidered, and went “You know what, no – there’s some oxen right by Arron’s shop, let’s instead test this new spell Smiler just cast and go say hi to them.” So the group turned around and instead visited the nearby makeshift oxen pen to see if any of them had anything interesting to say. The Hungry Ox didn’t give Smiler the time of day, simply stating, “Begone. I am hungry,” before going back to her food, but the Bored Ox next to her was more chatty, commenting that Smiler was “another one” before asking “What are you under there, then? Ant? Aurochs?” A puzzled Smiler was like “what are you talking about?” and the Bored Ox explained that the “keepers of this place” – i.e., the druids – changed forms depending on their need – aka, used Wildshape. Apparently he’d seen them become birds to hunt from the sky, and bears to rend flesh (whose he didn’t specify). The ox then complained that “for me – only oxen. Only same old hay. And I cannot even eat it, because the horned ones hide their shiny bits inside.” Surprised, Smiler said “the tieflings put something in your hay?” and the Bored Ox confirmed they hid things in there, thinking themselves clever, though he disagreed. And then said that sometimes he ate the shiny bits, forcing the tieflings to retrieve them from the other end. XD This ended the conversation –
And also revealed that the haystack next to them, tended by their anxious tiefling tender Toron, was in fact a container! Smiler took a look inside, and found two pouches within – however, they left them alone, as they’re not an asshole. Rule number one of this run is not to take anything from the tieflings – they’re suffering enough! Instead, Smiler went back to chat with the final ox of the trio –
Or, rather, something that looked like an ox, as per the passive Insight check the entire party passed upon approaching it (Lae’zel finally burning the Bardic Inspiration she got from Smiler back during the fight at the gate), and the Arcana check Smiler got when first speaking to it. It tried to pass itself off as a “humble ox,” but Smiler easily passed the DC 10 Arcana check with a 23, and told it, “There’s more to you than meets the eye. Care to explain?” The Strange Ox refused, calling Smiler “incapable,” but Smiler turned on the charm, going, “Come on, old chap. I’m a devil for gossip” and getting a nat 20 on the resulting Persuasion check (saving me from having to worry if I should have used the “Friends” cantrip or not). The Strange Ox still refused to say what it truly was, but did share that it intended to get to Baldur’s Gate, “with or without the rest of these poor sods,” then ended the conversation with “Now – that’s all I have to say besides – and I really mean this – moo.” XD I like you, Strange Ox.
And so today’s playsession ended with the group standing just outside the oxen pen, wondering just what the hell was going on with that “ox.” Next time I play, we’ll see about finally finding Dammon and offloading all these weapons, and maybe talking to some of the other residents of the refugee camp! Never know who might have a few points of XP or a quest to give the gang...
Writing: I did actually have some time to get some writing done today, hooray – and given that WeirdKev dumped a ton of notes on me about what he wanted out of his Christmas gift fic yesterday, I decided to rewrite that today and get it over with. As a reminder, it’s a sequel to his birthday fic, which was “LaCroix teaming up with a human vampire version of Glomgold from Ducktales to stop their mutual enemy Owlson from unionizing Camarilla ghouls, only to learn the hard way Glomgold is an idiot with a penchant for overly-complicated plans,” and it was supposed to be about Glomgold constantly popping up after LaCroix threw him out of his office in the original fic to interrupt him giving tasks to Alice. I thus wrote a dialogue-only fic (to match the original) of Glomgold doing just that on various nights, trying to sell LaCroix on variations of his plan to take out Owlson (generally involving sharks, and throwing in bees near the end for a little variety) while LaCroix was trying to give Alice briefings on his
A) Glomgold posing as a pizza delivery boy to try and get to LaCroix’s office – unfortunately for him, Chunk calls LaCroix first to confirm, and LaCroix figures out it’s him and orders Chunk to throw him out (and not to eat any of the “Bloody Mary” pizza, which is covered in actual blood)
B) Glomgold sneaking into LaCroix’s office and trying to seduce him dressed up as a hockey player (specifically a Mighty Duck, because why not) because a Malkavian (specifically Jeannette Voerman) told him LaCroix had a thing for them – LaCroix was just nonplussed and threw him out
C) Glomgold marching into LaCroix’s office dressed as the ghost of Napoleon to demand he hand over the sarcophagus – only to fail when LaCroix cracked up at his ridiculous get-up (Napoleon costume, bedsheet, and a fake sword in the gut, all covered in flour – oh, and the already-short Glomgold was walking on his knees, making himself ridiculously tiny. LaCroix informed him that the real Napoleon was five-foot-six, which surprised the hell out of him)
D) And Alice coming into LaCroix’s office to turn in a mission...only to find Glomgold already there in disguise. Glomgold promptly accused her of being an impostor, and LaCroix, already frazzled from all the previous attempts, demanded that she get out of not only his office, but his city. Alice was like “sure, goodbye,” which finally clued LaCroix into the fact that maybe she wasn’t the impostor –
A fact that he should have realized sooner, as immediately after he clocked that Glomgold’s disguise was of the DISNEY Alice – you know, the blond one? He tried to get Alice to come back by saying if she helped him kill Glomgold, he’d pay for her move, but Alice was like “too much chance you’ll screw me over, so nope” and got out of there, leaving the pair to tussle over the sarcophagus.
*shrug* A very silly fic, as you can tell! Though the whole “interrupting LaCroix giving Alice missions” part kind of got left in the dust...eh, I don’t think it’ll be missed. Again, I wish he’d told me exactly what he wanted sooner, before I wrote the original draft, but – well, that’s life. Let’s just hope he’s satisfied with this!
Tumblr: Okay, so – I spent a good chunk of the day today finishing up yesterday’s daily write-up, meaning I didn’t have the time to work on anything in my Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts. And then I spent most of the night watching something on FreeTube and trying to summarize it for you all (see below), so I never got to the stuff in my Valice Multiverse inbox. Basically, this day was almost entirely a wash when it came to tumblr. ^^; But I did accomplish one thing, and that was reblogging my old Song Saturday featuring Britney Spears’s song “3” in honor of the recently-completed Valicer+ Polyship Week 2025 on VLA(NS). Better than nothing!
FreeTube/Invidious: Actually felt like I had enough time to watch one of Proxy Gate Tactician’s ridiculous challenge videos tonight, so I headed over to his channel to indulge in one I’ve been wanting to watch for a while now – “Can You Beat Baldur's Gate 3 Using Things No One Uses?” Yes, Proxy was determined to see if he could beat the game using some of the least used spells and weapons, inventing (or, in one case, borrowing) all sorts of weird techniques to try and make them viable. Thus, he created the Derp Urge, and sent him out with his friends to try and conquer the game with the stupidest stuff imaginable! Did he do it?
Yes – but not without a lot of pain, heartache, and glitches along the way. As you might expect, given this was a video all about trying out all of the most bullshit weirdness Proxy could think of to do in the game. XD Unfortunately, trying to sum up the whole video is going to take WAAAY too long (I gave it a go, but there was a LOOOT of information and bullshit weirdness compressed into 24 minutes!), so let me see if I can sum up the best moments super-quickly –
A) Derp and friends using Wild Magic Surges to enchant the wooden practice swords the tiefling children use to practice their fighting to do an extra 1D4 Force Damage and score an automatic critical attack on their next hit, then using them to one-shot all the skeletons protecting Withers’s tomb (Proxy would have been happier about this, but getting that particular Wild Magic effect took 56 minutes, so…)
B) Derp and fiends discovering that the Pocket Sand ability that Swashbuckler Rogues get at Level 4 is OP, at least against small groups of Act 1 enemies, because it blinds your foes (giving them Disadvantage on rolls), is a Dirty Trick (which gives your character Advantage on rolls), and causes a small amount of bludgeoning damage, all for the cost of a bonus action! Derp and the party managed to take out BOTH the Owlbear Mother and her mate AND a trio of Ogres using it!
C) Derp and friends taking care of most of the regular goblins in the goblin camp by setting up Derp’s Meat Grinder – a combination of Spike Growth (set up by Shadowheart), a Cloud of Daggers primed to last twenty turns instead of ten (set up by a Sorcerer Wyll usnig his metamagic), and Derp sending them back to camp before using the Minor Illusion abilities granted to them as a Shadow Sorcerer to lure the goblins into the spiky cloud of murder and death. Merilwen and Corazon would be proud!
D) Derp and friends killing Ketheric Thorm and the Avatar of Myrkul via the power of cats standing atop box towers and knocking things off (random items for Ketheric, holy water specifically for Myrkul) – this was the most fiddly way to murder an enemy EVER as per Proxy, and he did NOT recommend it
E) Derp and friends getting telekinesis gloves off a githyanki in the ambush near the end of Act 2, then putting them to good use in the fight in the Astral Prism by summoning an Earth Elemental, having it drink an elixir to make it huge, then using Telekinesis to hoist it up to high surfaces before yanking it back down again to slam into the ground and inflict loads of AOE damage on enemies (this was a technique Proxy found via one Remus 71, so thank you Remus)
F) Derp and friends essentially turning Gortash into their own personal OP summon by kidnapping him from his own coronation to an isolated area; polymorphing him into a sheep; having Gale use Dominate Beast on him (a mostly-useless spell as there are not a lot of beasts in the game); heading back to camp; having Derp temporarily remove Gale from the party before the domination wore off; then having Derp welcome Gale back into the party once the domination DID wear off, resulting in human Gortash following Gale around being badass. They were even able to get his netherstone off him via some VERY quick clicking in his inventory screen!
G) Derp and friends taking out Orin via grabbing a corpse from Cazador’s place that has a constant nasty necrotic aura that damages you and taking it to the Temple of Bhaal, then using the Arcane Gate spell to rapidly move the corpse into and out of proximity to Orin, setting up an infinite damage loop that didn’t even require them to use their actions or movements to kill her. Proxy was very proud of it and called it the Proxy Gate Tactic. XD
H) Derp and friends showing off how the Dark Displacement Gloves (sold by Popper at the Circus Of Last Days), which allow you to swap places with enemies when you hit them with a thrown weapon, also let you swap places with objects (allowing you to do things like open locked doors by swapping places with them, removing them entirely from their house) – and, very notably, THE FUCKING ENDBOSS. Yes, you can indeed swap places with the Will Of The Netherbrain by hitting it with a thrown weapon while wearing these things, and it will end up killing itself by removing the platforms it’s resting on while trying to kill you. XD Granted, defeating the Netherbrain this way completely screws up the ending cutscenes and teleports you straight to the epilogue party, but that still counts as beating the game!
WHEW! Yeah, you, uh, you see why I was struggling with this. Trust me, that is only the SMALLEST FRACTION of the bullshit that Proxy showed off during this video! I would highly recommend watching his stuff for yourself – he talks really fast, but he’s also really funny, and he shows off a lot of interesting and ridiculous ways to play this game.
...okay, I have DEFINITELY stayed up too late, but at least this particular write-up is DONE. *shakehead* Off to bed with me -- tomorrow, the plan is to get those Valice Multiverse asks answered and work on some Victor Luvs Alice (N Smiler) drafts; play Portal and find more radios on the way to kill GLaDOS; work some more on gift fic stuff; get in a workout; and watch Jon's latest F:NV YOLO Remastered video. Which will hopefully be less work to summarize than Proxy's video was. Fingers crossed -- night all!
